Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 20
Zane s Assembly
In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the
podcast at Explicit
Running into a wall is bad, having it fall on you is
worse but not being missed is the worst
Since I had mastered the moment so successfully with
conversation I shut the hell up and took the crowd toward my room. Halfway up
the stairs I expected Jill to call out but it didn't happen. I counted myself
lucky, handed out fresh t-shirts to Paris and Leigh, only to have Paige regale
them for fifteen minutes about all the female swag I had in my dorm room, from
female silk robes in a variety of lengths and colors to thongs and dog collars.
Girls should not look at me and lick their lips; it is scary
because I thought that men went to college to chase women, not the other way
around. Back at the start of the year, I knew that I was such a Man-Stud that
I'd pick up more than my fair share too. I now have multiple women in my life
and one day soon I hope to chase one down and call her my own, provided the
"We will see you later," Leigh gave me a sexy
nudge with her hip. I nodded and promptly made sure my windows were locked.
They had the annoying habit of being unlocked with glowing neon signs outside
that said "Kappa Sigmas enter here". This time I was ready for them.
I was also on the ball enough to know that when none of the Kappa Sigmas were
upset by my action, that indicated there was something going on that I was
I was hardly convinced to let my guard down by the limited
conversation the three sorority sisters and I had as I escorted them out of the
house and kissed them goodnight. I diverged to the dryer to warm up Paris and
Leigh's shirts. I kissed Aunt Jill goodnight as well. She gave me a bemused,
maternal look as I headed back to my room before my 'bed time'. I must have
looked like I felt, pretty exhausted.
I joined Iona and Paige in the bathroom where we went
through the nightly routine before heading for bed. They stripped slowly; I
crawled into bed fully clothed and was feeling rather clever with myself.
"No, you don't," Paige insisted.
"Zane," Iona gave an angelic smile, "you have
to do what you feel comfortable with but this is a matter of trust between
us." Was Iona beating me up with a variation on the argument I'd used on
Vivian a few hours ago? I was definitely undecided so Iona brushed my lips with
The only thing worse than being manipulated is being
manipulated with sincerity. I shucked my clothes and shot them to the foot of
the bed. I took in the view of Paige and Iona stripped out of their bras, then
panties. Paige even made a little game of it, shooting her panties at my head.
She missed so I snatched them as they sailed past.
Paige flashed me a wicked grin as I did so.
"Hey, Zane," she purred. Paige put her knee on the
bed, followed by the other, so that she was standing on her knees.
"Hey," Iona mimicked from the other side.
Together, they sensually flowed toward me and each other. When they were
settled against my hip they looked down and smiled.
"You both look lovely," I sighed dreamily at my
slightly-built beauties. They graced me with a smile once more before looking
into one another's eyes. Then they kissed, and after that they really kissed,
and several steamy seconds later the girls extended their right hands to their
opposite's breast. They rolled their tits beneath their palms. I would have
wept at this point but it would have been unmanly.
When their left hands joined in the fun I nearly lost it. Did
I mention they hadn't stopped kissing yet? It was hard enough that I was
intimately familiar with their bodies, head to toe. I was the first man either
of them had put lips to lust with (discarding Paige's grade school fiascoes). I
had licked, teased, and plucked those nipples they were now so readily
I had placed them naked in bed with other women and beheld
their first steps into a far more sexually dynamic life than a strict
fundamental Christian life would have deposited them in. I would have continued
to wax poetic on the vision above me but the horror of my decision to sleep
with both their naked bodies without sex was grinding my happiness into
"Oh, wow," Paige giggled, "it's throbbing on
his stomach." She was referring to my cock. If it had something larger
than a series of nerve clusters, my cock would have been screaming at me,
questioning my sanity and demanding a passionate reason I wasn't mounting them
both, drilling them hard, and going back for seconds, and thirds.
They both leaned down onto one arm before reclining to their
"Good night, Zane," Iona whispered. She kissed me
on the lips, rather chastely, then rolled over so that her back was to me. She
wiggled her ass tight against my thigh because, you know, I have a thing for
"Sweet dreams of me," Paige gave a sultry roll of
the voice. She rested her head on my shoulder and languidly placed her right
arm on my chest and her right leg on my groin. Her hand came to rest on the top
of my sternum while her knee covered my balls and the base of my cock. My
sexual organ gave her limb a sympathetic throb. Paige sighed pleasurably,
enjoying the torture she was putting me through.
My right arm cradled Paige and drew her tighter. She kissed
my chest with a feather-light touch. My left arm draped around Iona with my
wrist being poked by her left nipple (it was still aroused by Paige's
attentions) while my fingers coasted along her stomach. I drummed my hand on
her abdomen; Iona snuggled in deeper and gave me a delightful little murmuring
That was enough to send me off to sleep and I was grateful.
If I hadn't been asleep I knew I was going to stick my cock into something,
even if it was an electric outlet. I couldn't screw Iona and wouldn't sex up
Paige because she would never let me get over having broken down and nailed her
in defiance of my own word. What woman doesn't want to think her body can drive
a man to forgo his honor? Again, she would never, ever let me forget it.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep when I heard my
bedroom door open. I wasn't sure what Jill would want this late but that wasn't
a problem. The first one through the door was Leigh but Paris and Ricky Frasier
snuck in right behind her. I need to invest in some home defense apparatus,
things like pit-traps, trip-wires, and nests of feral Chihuahuas.
"Don't worry, Zane," Leigh whispered. "We are
"Ah," I grunted. Paige stirred next to me, rolled
onto her back, and smiled at the newcomers. "We won't need you
tonight," Paige assured me. "This is all-girl."
"I see; I need to go back to campus and spank Barbie
Lynn, Opal, and Brandi's bottoms until they glow red," I growled. They had
turned Paige onto the whole lesbian orgy theme.
"Hold on," I begged the girls as they began
stripping. I rapidly moved to the closet, pulled down two comforters and two
pillows for Iona and I to use as a bed. I set things out and Iona gave me one
of those sleepy, sweet, innocent smiles and joined me on the floor, a comforter
as a mattress and the other as a cover.
I quickly became obvious to me that the object of Leigh,
Paris, Ricky's and Paige's fun wasn't to have intercourse with one another but
to drive me nuts. It wasn't ego talking here; statistically, an ass, calf, or
grinning head pops over the same side of bed you are on only so many times
before it becomes enemy action. It was working too; I was rock hard and sleep
was escaping me. Sadly, fate intervened, to my detriment.
In movies you often see couples roll out of bed, say 'ow,'
then go back to passionate love-making. Paris came off the bed with a squeak;
me, I felt a stomach-churning pain and a soundless scream escaped my lips.
Paris' knee had come straight down on my nuts and impacted them into the
hardwood floor with only a thin quilt providing any absorption.
Paris' playful grin and giggle turned into fear as she saw
"Zane?" she whispered, "Sorry?"
"Zane, are you okay?" Iona inquired at my side.
Paris backed off me, allowing me to wheeze and roll over in
a ball facing Iona. Iona cradled me in her arms.
"Zane, what's wrong?" she worried. I wasn't
articulate at the moment but Paris was.
"Oh, God," she gasped. "I landed on his
nuts." Paige and Leigh immediately poked their heads over the bed,
appearing in my peripheral vision. I heard Ricky padding around from the other
"Damn it," Leigh moaned. "Now what are we
"How about show a little sympathy?" Iona grumped
at the others. I know her heart was in the right place but pulling me tight to
her bosom with a nipple resting on my upper lip didn't do my damaged genitalia
any good. There was a light, coastal breeze off Madagascar calling for my cock
to get hard once again and damn me if it wasn't answering.
The resulting pain was describable, similar to having my
testicles used by an 800 pound gorilla to sink the cue ball on a Carom
billiards table. And damn if that bastard wasn't determined to get it done no
matter how many attempts it took. Next time some psychopath stares me dead in
the eyes and asks if I've ever prayed for death, I can match his gaze and say
"Leigh, get some ice," Paige whispered.
"Paris, go to the bathroom down the hall and get some ibuprofen and salve.
Iona, help me get him back on the bed." The girls hurried off quietly, for
which I was thankful. I was equally thankful that Iona and Paige were so gentle
in moving me off the floor and onto the bed, and yes, I hammed it up a bit.
Once the rush of taking charge of events passed, Paige began
to flash me guilty looks. This was definitely her plan and she'd miscalculated
the body motion dynamics of three women playing sex games on a queen-sized bed.
"I, I apologize," Paige admitted. "This was
my fault." I was somewhat more than stunned.
"Okay," I gasped. "Flesh heals but memories
"That means you are going to get me for this,"
"I'd buy a seat cushion if I were you, Ms.
Spanky-bottoms," I tried to joke, but the pain got in the way of my
Paris padded back in with a pill bottle, a foil tube, and a glass
of water. She handed the pill bottle to Paige and the water to Iona. When Paris
started unscrewing the top to the salve, things became difficult.
"Paris," Iona grumbled, "why do you get to
put the cream on his balls? It was your knee that caused his pain."
"I know," Paris whimpered, "and I want to
make it up to him." Paige popped the pill cap and handed me two ibuprofen;
Iona propped me up. I took the pills and she put the water to my lips.
"I'll take care of it," Iona insisted.
"My plan, my fault, I'll take care of it," Paige
"Take care of what?" Leigh panted as she slipped
into my bedroom with a bowl of ice.
"Massaging Zane's poor crushed nuts," Ricky
"If I've hurt him permanently, I'll never forgive
myself," Paris moaned piteously. Was she more afraid of my promise to get
her back or the other ladies' retaliation for the maiming I'd gone through?
"I said I would take care of it," Paige insisted.
"No, I think I will take care of it, if no one
minds," I ground out. The implication was that if they didn't let me
medicate my massive melons of masculine might, I'd come after them all, in
thirty or so minutes when I could freely move once again.
It took me a second to realize that no one was arguing with
"Ricky, could you please get a damp hand-towel from the
bathroom," Iona requested. Ricky looked confused so Iona added, "We
can't put the ice cubes directly on his scrotum unless we really do want to
take him to the emergency room."
"Oops, sorry," Ricky sounded embarrassed.
"That makes sense. I'll be right back." When Ricky left, Paige and
Iona reclined on either side of me.
"Hold on," I requested. "I'd like to give
Paris a hug." Iona scooted first, letting Paris crawl on all fours over my
body. I gave her a kiss with as much strength as I could exert.
"We were playing a game and it was an accident. I
already feel somewhat better," I assured her. "Besides, I'm pretty
sure I have yet to fuck you to orgasm and that's not a challenge my cock takes
lightly." Paris wept and collapsed onto my chest. I lay back, head on a
pillow, so I could stroke Paris' hair.
When Ricky returned I struggled around Paris to kiss her and
Leigh as well. I also took the opportunity to coat my scrotum with the salve,
which instantly cooled my pain, then started heating damaged parts up. Leigh
applied the towel holding the ice gently to balance out the sensations. We
hugged, confirmed our date for Saturday night, and parted ways.
Iona, Paige, and I returned to the bed and tried to get back
to sleep. This time we kept our limbs to ourselves, though we remained close. I
waited a while before surrendering to my dreams. A decision was reached
internally that the next time I took Iona out for a quiet weekend, I would have
to make it somewhere off the beaten path, somewhere in Appalachia no doubt.
Iona gave me a precious, sleepy smile as I climbed out of
bed in the morning. I looked at her heavy eyes, questioning her intent, when
she pulled my pillow into her chest and drifted off into slumber once more. Paige
was dead to the world, undoubtedly wrapped up in the remorseless rest of the
I was able to dress uninterrupted and glide downstairs to
find Jill already up and puttering around. I was about to find out what she had
"Good morning, Zane. Are you feeling better?" Jill
"Feeling better?" I questioned.
"Your, you know, down there, are you feeling
better?" she clarified somewhat. I imagine my jaw dropped because she
looked at me with an obvious amusement.
"How did you know?" I finally responded.
"Oh, Iona came to my room last night and explained the
situation as well as apologizing for the disruption," Aunt Jill explained.
"She's a very forthright and honest young lady, and she doesn't currently
"What, whoa, wait a second, Jill," I stammered.
Things were going way too fast for me. "How is it you are okay with two
girls sleeping in my bedroom and three more coming over when three months ago
we couldn't even discuss sex at all and its only place was in the marriage bed?
What happened that I missed?"
"Zane," Jill sighed patiently, "when God
closes one door he opens another. I had to accept that my life with Tim was
over and I had to move forward with my life with you. That means I am going to
get more mileage out of counseling you as opposed to dictating
"And you have this epiphany after you burn all the
stuff I brought back from Thailand," I groaned.
"We both did things we probably regret," she
"You've been talking to Iona, or more likely, Iona's
been calling you," I began piecing it together.
"After you told me about what those girls were making
you do, like crawl around on your knees, I tried to get some of your classmates
to tell me what was really going on," Jill related.
"Iona was the only one who would talk to me and she and
I have communicated pretty regularly since then," Jill finished.
"She's a truly sweet girl and I think you two make a cute couple."
In case you are wondering, there is no good response to that
"She tells me you are interested in that 'Christina'
girl. She's, elegant," which was Jill's way of saying Christina wasn't a
'humble Christian girl' like Iona.
Something in that train of thought made me put a few other
faces to the descriptor 'elegant'.
"Is that why you didn't like Mom, Dad, and, well, was
Uncle Tim snobby as well, elegant?" I mused. Jill stopped looking in the
fridge were she was figuring out what we'd be having for breakfast.
"Yes," Jill said quietly. Tim hadn't wanted to
marry Jill; he'd wanted to marry Jill's older sister, Kathryn. Jill matched
herself against Mom, the free spirit, and Dad, the joker, who were both
sophisticated Devil-May-Care people born of wealth and privilege. In a way, Tim
was from the same background, except that he ended up arrogant and emotionally
Of course, Tim had to grow up with Granddad, who was a real
peach, and my Dad, who was always larger than life, always doing whatever task
their father put before him and always going one step beyond. Worse, Dad always
had the courage to be himself. Dad was the brilliant rebel, the Prodigal Son
who was always welcomed back home; Tim was the plodding workhorse.
The best example of this was the first time each of them ran
away from home. Tim ran away to the tree house in the backyard at the house in
Wyoming. The first time Dad ran away, he ended up in Hawaii. When the FBI
caught him, he was working in a Japanese restaurant, stock-piling Australian
dollars, and had a map of the Great Barrier Reef. Now that I think of it, I
must get my nuttiness from Dad.
"Jill, I'm sorry Tim wasn't the husband you
deserved," I told her softly. I rested a hand on her shoulder and she
backed into me. I wrapped my arms around her from behind.
"Thank you, Zane," she told me in a soft voice.
She looked out of the window over the sink for a few seconds.
"Do you think we should get a pool?" Jill broke
"Who are you and what have you done with my Aunt
Jill?" I teased her. It took a second for Jill to get it but when she did,
"Wait," she teased back, "would I be a clone,
an alien, or, what were those things I heard about, oh, pod-people?"
"I think you are the Pink Power Ranger," Paige
snickered from my elbow where she had materialized mysteriously from the ether.
Jill squeaked and spun around while I was busy putting my heart back in my
chest. Jill struggled out of my arms, blushed, and went back to the fridge.
"Did I interrupt something?"
"Yes; my desire to live a longer life," I coughed.
"Now that we have the useless pleasantries out of the
way, what I really want to know is if all the equipment is in working
order," Paige smirked. I thought of a smarmy reply, an angry reply, and
even ignoring her, but another idea won out.
"Hey, Babe," I whispered in a husky voice to Paige
as I stepped into body contact with her, "it hurts a little right now but
thanks for asking. I'm glad you are watching out for me." I drew a line
with right hand along her collarbone and shoulder to her neck and finally
"Oh," Paige gulped. Her eyes grew wide. "Of
course, Zane. I want to watch out for you, I care."
I let my arms drape around her and linked them up at the
small of her back, pulling her tight to me. Paige slipped her arms beneath me and
did likewise, with the added gesture of placing her ear to my chest. Iona
slipped into the kitchen as she did so. She gave me a cute wave, side-stepped
us, and went to help Jill.
I figured from Iona's actions that she was going to keep
Jill busy getting the four of us breakfast, so I took Paige's right hand in my
left and led her out into the hall. As I headed for the porch in the back,
someone came through the front door, attempting to be stealthy. It was Leigh;
I'd clearly caught her doing something wrong.
"Yes?" I questioned. She looked to Paige then back
"I forgot to return your keys," Leigh evaded.
