Failure To Launch

If you were a broke, down on your luck wrestler, would you turn to fighting crime to pay the bills, or just star in a shitty TV action series about two broke, down on their luck wrestlers fighting crime to pay the bills?

In 1991, Jessie "The Body" Ventura & Rowdy Roddy Piper attempted to answer this question. They were incorrect.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Alex Malone, David Shaw

Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

Throughout the 1980s, stories about cops teaming up with dogs who could solve crimes were all the rage.

Then somebody had to go and take it too far.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone

Soundboard: David Shaw

We don't know how to describe Invincible. In lieu, here are some of the IMDB Plot Keywords:

• Telekinesis.
• Katana Sword.
• Rave Party.
• Slow Motion Fight Scene.
• Billy Zane.
• Cigar Smoking.

Admit it: You're intrigued.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Alex Malone, David Shaw

Soundboard: Fabian Lapham

Nikki and Nora are tough New Orleans detectives. Partners on their beat... and in the bedroom. Apparently back in 2004 the world wasn't ready for a lesbian cop show. But ten years later, with progress marching on and society becoming more accepting of other people's...

Oh wait. This is still just a terrible show.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Alex Malone, David Shaw, Harry Brimage

Soundboard: Fabian Lapham

Of the shows we've reviewed so far, this fantasy-set police procedural is the most high concept. Here's the simplest way to explain it:

If you mixed Harry Potter with Law & Order and an incredible amount of not giving a shit, you'd get 17th Precinct.

Episode 6 of Failure to Launch has arrived, and it will destroy you with sex, maybe?

Manchester Prep, recut & released as Cruel Intentions 2, was intended to be the prequel TV series to 1999s Cruel Intentions, using lesser actors to explore two rich, narcissistic teenagers incestuous relationship, and is exactly as classy as it sounds.

Watch it with your siblings. We dare you.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone, David Shaw

Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

In 1986, a Disney executive ran into a writers room, shouting, "We need our own E.T! Young boy, magical friend. Kids are eating that shit up! But all that magic and whimsy is old hat. Make it dark, gritty, and completely joyless!"

This Is What Happened Next.™

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Andrew Cherry, Alex Malone

Soundboard: David Shaw

We're breaking one of our rules by reviewing Work It, as a series was commissioned from this pilot. However, a) it was cancelled after 2 episodes, and b) this is the most misogynistic half-hour of television since Chris Brown was on The View.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, David Shaw, Alex Malone

Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

Smallville, despite never being more than a mediocre show, managed to run for 10 seasons thanks to the popularity of Superman. Here's what happens when you do basically the same thing, but replace Metropolis with a bunch of fish.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone

Soundboard: Andrew Cherry

Rodney Dangerfield was a slobbish, alcoholic, kinda misogynistic standup comic, and as such, the ideal magical-teleporting-life-coach for a 13-year-old boy. At least, that's what Hanna-Barbera thought when they produced the 1990 pilot for "Where's Rodney?"

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone

Soundboard: Andrew Cherry