Failure To Launch

In this final instalment of The Summer Of Joe Lara, Rookie Cop Joe *EXPLOSION* his greatest foe; a beefier, taller version of *MASSIVE SHOOTOUT* incredible hair.

Just when Joe thinks *FLAMETHROWER* in jail forever, this anarchist-terrorist *BIGGER EXPLOSION* a Hologram Terrorist! *LASER PISTOLS* Joe must *MAD MAX-STYLE RAMMING TRUCK* before he *6 COP CARS EXPLODE* a hologram too!

*FORCE LIGHTNING* until *RETIRING COP DIES* *COPS WITH MACHINE GUNS* *ARMS RIPPED OFF* *MULTIPLE RUBBER MASKS* he *COP STANDING ON CAR SHOOTING AT LEAST 20 CRIMINALS DEAD* until *ACTORS WHO CAN'T DELIVER ZINGERS DELIVERING ZINGERS* *FORGETTABLE EXPLOSIONS* *HOLOGRAM BATTLE* *LIMO EXPLOSION*

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lisa Dib, Harry Brimage Soundboard: *EXPLOSION*

Our second Joe Jaunt™ is a piece from the twilight of his cinema career, Starfire Mutiny, another post-apocalyptic sci fi, this time with a complete absence of American Cyborgs (boooo.)

Joe captains the USS Legacy, a massive cryo ship orbiting a dead Earth, holding the last remnants of humanity in stasis. It's a dull life; a good part of his day to day job is porn distribution (seriously.)

But when a band of space pirates show up, led by the world's most low energy white supremacist, things quickly get even more boring and extremely sleazy goddamn this film is dogshit.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Andrew Cherry, Harry Brimage Soundboard: Lisa Dib

Longtime Failure to Launch listeners will be familiar with the work of Joe Lara, either as Tarzan in Tarzan in Manhattan or DJ Matt in Danger Island. You'll also be aware of our undying affection for the man, and his superb list of b-movie credits on IMDB: STEEL FRONTIER. HOLOGRAM MAN. FINAL EQUINOX. VERY MEAN MEN.

Despite the fact that these are films, not TV pilots, we at Failure to Launch could not leave these glorious titles unexamined. So, over this Australian summer, we're submersing ourselves in the waters of Joe Lara's oeuvre (which, turns out, is full of cyborgs.)

First cab off the rank is American Cyborg: Steel Warrior, a post-apocalyptic tale in which Joe, The Man With No Name Who's Name Is Austin, must save a young woman and her very-dead-looking-fetus-in-a-tube from a killer cyborg with a killer moustache. It's everything you'd hope it to be; cheap, ambitious, produced by the guys who did Superman IV and Over The Top (the Stallone film about arm wrestling), and it has Joe Lara! Get listening.

In this week's episode of Failure to Launch we follow undercover agent Delilah (Kim Cattrall, Sex in the City) working with Billy Zane (Billy Zane, BILLY FUCKING ZANE) to take down a weapon smuggling crime boss from the inside. But when her cover is blown, a deadly game of cat and mou... nope, nevermind, they kill her straight away.

Delilah is brought back to life with a science montage and turned into a crime fighting machine (literally). As Delilah and BILLY ZANE (Billy Zane!) work together to stop a terrorist getting his hands on a nuclear weapon, the sparks fly (literally) as the bad guys wilt under Delilah's (literally) steely gaze and massive structural damage (literally).

Did we mention Billy Zane is in this?

Running Delilah - IMDB Running Delilah - Wiki

Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Harry Brimage, Alex Malone Soundboard: David Shaw