Now let's think about the concept of care. We tend to care about things that we are invested in. If I show you this, it may or may not evoke some sort of feeling in you depending on your level of investment:
This is a line but not just any line. It's a line that represents the DJI in the last five days. So if you have nothing invested in the stock market, this is a scribble on a piece of paper. You don't care. But if you have lots invested you really care. Your care is directly proportional to how much of yourself has been poured into that.
Or how about this example,
Now this is a medical condition that you don't care about. Unless what? Unless you have it. If all of the sudden the doctor says, we've discovered why your hands and feet have begun to swell and why your joints ache and why your experiencing carpel tunnel. It's called Acromegaly Syndrome and it's actually a result of tumors growing on your pituitary gland. Now suddenly you care all about this disease. Why? Because it's affecting you.
You care about a massive storm if it's coming to your city.
You care about a fire in West Boise, if your house is in West Boise.
You care about the installation of a walkway if that walkway happens to go right by your house.
Now here's the point. Nobody has to tell you to care. You naturally care if your body, your life, your being is somehow affected. It's a reaction.
That is exactly how Paul wants us to view other believers in the body of Christ. He wants us to care for one another not because we have to, not because it's a best practice for the church, but he wants us to care instinctively, automatically, reflexively because these are our people. This is our body that's being affected. The degree to which we see other believers as part of our body is the degree to which we will instinctively care.
Now, it's a bit strange because even though we are all part of the same body, we don't naturally see it. Why? Why do we have such a hard time seeing other people as our own?
Because we are different. For the last couple of weeks we've been looking at the diversity of gifts that the Spirit gives to individuals within the church. Diversity means difference and the prideful tendency of humans is to look at differences and conclude, "Because that is not like me, because I can't relate with that, it must be at best inferior and most likely bad."
But God says not only is the diversity good, it's part of the design. And we reminded ourselves of this from the world of biology. A human body is composed of drastically different types of cells that specialize. You have groups of eye cells that are designed very specifically for caring out functions of seeing which are drastically different from nerve cells which are drastically different than bone cells. Massive diversity which allows for specialization which allows for power in the organism.
And so we learned last week that a healthy body is where each of those individual cells contribute.
And the progression of thought has been this: Since we all have the Same Spirit, of course we are part of the Same Body.
And last week we said, Since we are part of the same body we ought to give one another the same honor.
And now this week we see that practically what that means is that since we all have the same honor, we will minister to one another with the same care.
So let's jump in and read where this comes from in the text itself.
So you can see Paul says because we are part of the same body with the same honor, "all members ought to have the same care for one another."
Which parts of your body do you want to receive oxygen? Which parts of your body do you want to be hydrated?
It's a dumb question. There is equal care for all parts of my body. And when any part of the body is not okay, the whole body notices. Yesterday I was working on my house doing a little bit of overhead work and I somehow managed to scrape my armpit. Now I don't know the last time I noticed my armpit, but I'm telling you, this morning when I took a shower I was very aware. I just lightly dabbed by deodorant on this morning so that my explain any lopsided oder you detect.
It's my body so I care. The body responds to pain. I wasn't evaluating how valuable that part of my body was before I reacted. It's instant redirection of resources to help the injured member no matter what it is. The only thought is, "A part of my body is in need, drop everything. What can I do to help?"
There are two main ways we can care for people. And so our message today has two main points.
Verse 26 says, "If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." This is the primary way we care. We care by entering into one another's situations and feeling what they feel. This is reminiscent of Romans 12 where Paul says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep."
This is care according to the Bible. We enter in. We try to experience what they experience. Even though we aren't having that problem or we aren't experiencing their success, we emotionally engage so that their victory becomes victory of us, their suffering becomes suffering for us and in so doing we alternately celebrate or weep. That is what we are supposed to do.
What's a single English word that describes that concept? To feel what others feel? I'd say empathy. Empathy looks at the suffering or rejoicing of another person and because they care they allow themselves to feel. It's fundamentally a humble posture because it's disconnected from you. What would it be like to be in that person's shoes? That's what care is. I want to imagine what it feels like to be you and imagine what you would want others to do for you in your situation. Care is empathy.
Now it actually may be helpful in defining this type of care to observe care's opposite.If care is empathy, what is the opposite of empathy? Here's a stab:
Now that's an okay definition. We might call that indifference. That's definitely not caring.And while that's close we still haven't quite arrived at the opposite. Here's the actual opposite.
What's the English word for that? What's it called when you want someone else to suffer because they got something good you didn't get. Envy. Envy is the true opposite of Empathy. Envy weeps when they rejoice and rejoices when they weep. It’s exactly the opposite.
And of anything that will tear the church apart it's envy. I want what that other person has.
I want that person's gift.
I want that person's privilege.
I want that person's recognition.
I want that person's humor.
I want that person's power.
I want that person's status, tile, social connections.
If empathy is humble then envy is arrogance. Here's why envy is arrogance. Because you make something that was never meant to be about you, about you. You can look at a person's giftedness and hate them for it. What does their giftedness have to do with you? And yet you make it about you.
You might say:
Their success was handed to them on a silver platter. I've worked hard.
They are only doing what they are doing because they were gifted with rich parents. I never got that.
They got to go to the best schools
They have all the right connections
They are gifted with incredibly good looks."
And the reason it's pride is because deep down in your heart what you are really saying is, "I deserve that. They don't deserve it, I deserve it." If they get it I should get it too. And if I can't have it they shouldn't have it either.
Envy is like the woman that came to Solomon and said, "If I can't have the baby, I'd rather you cut it in half that let her have it."
It's a dagger in your heart because their situation becomes a judgment on you. Your identity is suddenly defined by other people's gifts or failures. Objectively speaking someone else gift has nothing to do with you.
Would you care if a person in Sudan was very beautiful if you never saw them? You only care to the degree that you make that person's beauty a judgment on you. But because of your insecurity, your shaken identity, you conscript their blessing and use it as a ruler to define you.
For example, You see a couple move into a nice house and instead of rejoicing you judge them. Those materialistic lovers of money. But that's really just your heart saying, "I deserve that, not them."
And you pity yourself. And that pity is comforting to you. Since nobody else will pity me, I will. Do you see the pride in all of this? It's all about me.
And so it's actually not surprising that Paul mentions care at this portion of the book. What has Paul been harping on again and again and again through the book? Pride. Pride has been destroying the church. Because you are prideful I know you will see one another's gifts and either boast in your perceived superiority or envy in your perceived inferiority.
And here is what Paul says in the passage here: if pride produces envy and boasting then the cure is care.
If you find yourself jealous of someone in our church, someone at your work, someone in your family, the solution to that is care. Care is the opposite of envy. Care is the solution to envy. Envy destroys the church. Care builds the church. If you find yourself either looking up in envy or looking down in superiority, the solution is care.
The reason care cures pride is because the only way you can care is by doing two things: #1 you must acknowledge that this person that you think is so amazing - in fact - has needs that #2 you are uniquely gifted to meet. It simultaneously strips the glitter off that thing you envy and it elevates your value. It neutralizes back to what is in fact the case. We are all simultaneously and paradoxically insignificant and indispensable.
So let's dig in a little deeper and learn how to care. How do we care by suffering alongside a brother or sister who is suffering?
When you first think about this, it's a very strange concept. If one person is suffering wouldn't it just be better to allow that one person to suffer in isolation and let everyone else go pain free? How does it help to get others involved?
Here's the point Paul is making. Even if you could argue that it's better to have this member of the body suffer in solidarity, you could never do it. Why because you can't not care for your body. How could you watch your son or daughter suffer and not have it move you? You uncontrollably care because they are part of you. One of the things that was totally lost on me as a pre-parent was how much my emotional well-being was going to be tied up in my kids. Why? Because I CARE. You can't not care. It's so tied up into who you are.
This is why over and over and over again we have been trying to remind that this body of Christ thing is not SIMPLY a helpful analogy, although it is that. It's a reality. We are not like the body of Christ. We are the body of Christ. Paul's says you are not figuratively connected to one another. You are literally connect through the Spirit of God. Which means when a believer in this church is suffering, when a believer in a another church in Boise is suffering, when a prisoner in Afghanistan is suffering, that is part of YOUR body. Its YOU. Those are your people. That's our team. Everything contained in the word comradery applies. Everything contained in the word loyalty applies. Everything contained in the idea of devotion applies.
Paul isn't saying you need to muster up some care. He's saying if you believe this is your body, you will care. You will reflexively care.
The Navy Seals have this pact with one another that if anyone gets lost behind enemy lines, there will be no exceptions. We will come back to get you. One person suffers, we all suffer. That's incredible security. That's the idea.
When one member suffers they all suffer. And you actually care BY SUFFERING. This is an important point. Galatians 6:2 puts it this way.
Imagine carrying a 200 pound sack of flower. When the Bible talks about bearing one another's burdens that means that you have to get close enough to a person to let some of their burden slide onto your shoulder. It's not bearing until you are that close. It's a proximity issue.
So when we talk about Care by Suffering. In order to really suffer you've got to be close so some of that load can slide onto your shoulders. In other words you have to be close enough to feel the weight of that load.
Jonathan Edwards has a sermon on this that really got me thinking. He says this, “In many cases, we may, by the rules of the gospel, be obliged to give to others, when we cannot do it without suffering ourselves … else how is that rule of bearing one another’s burdens fulfilled? If we be never obliged to relieve others’ burdens, but when we can do it without burdening ourselves, then how do we bear our neighbour’s burdens, when we bear no burdens at all?” Do you see what he’s saying?
If someone is in financial stress and you give them money that cost you nothing you fixed their problem but you did not bear their burden.
If you say to another part of the body of Christ, "I'd love to help you this week but I don't have time." Well of course you don't have time. Nobody has time. You have to give something up to help them. You have to burden yourself.
When you say, "I'd really love to help with that financial need, but man, I'm out of money." What that really means is, "I can't help without burdening myself." And the reality is that since you are out of money, you are, perhaps for the very position needed to actually bear their burden. You see if I actually helped you it would hurt me which means that I have truly helped." Do you see the whole point. You can't help until you hurt. Edwards is saying that is the only way to actually help someone is to experience some of that hurt yourself. Until you actually bear some of the pain, your only observing. It's the be warm and be filled condemnation of James. Your too far away to allow some of that burden to slide onto your shoulders.
Now that's not saying if God has gifted you with lost of money that you can't ever give meaningfully till your poor. But what it does mean, is that you can't give from afar. You can't just throw money at problems. You have to get in and feel what it would be like to be in their shoes. You have to own their problems as your own. There is a big difference.
So you have to be close. You also have to be consistent.
Here's the thing about a brother. He will always be your brother. You can't undo that. It's for life. So we care by suffering closely, but also consistently. I often go to hospitals to visit with people who are suffering. And every time, without fail, who is there? Family. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles. They are close and they are consistent. It's one thing to help a friend carry the 200 pound sack of wheat for a minute. It's another thing to see him all the way to the destination. You've got to be in it for the long haul. And this is hard. It's painful. It's a form of suffering to do this kind of thing where you have to make daily sacrifices to be a friend.
If your primary goal is to avoid suffering, you can never be a friend. If you always want to escape, to distance yourself from other people's hurt, if you are always trying to isolate yourself because it's uncomfortable to be around problems then you will never bear someone else's burden. You can't. It's like saying I want to play in the water but not get wet.
So what I want you to do is look around see whose hurting? Perhaps your so far away, you have no idea who these people even are. I can assure you that there a dozens and dozens of people in this room who are seriously hurting right now. Either from physical pain, emotional pain from a difficult marriage, a recent divorce, a relational situation that is unjust. I know of dozens and I'm 100 percent sure there are twice as many I don't know about. It's time to get close and be consistent.
To ignore the cry of others in the body of Christ who are hurting is like injecting yourself with morphine. Sure it numbs the pain and the cries goes away. But in doing so you add insult to injury by gagging the suffering member. But it's not just the suffering member you hurt. Even though the noise has been silenced two facts remain.
His suffering will grow worse from neglect.
And because you are connected to him by virtue of the fact that you are part of the same body, you too will suffer. Your personal health is connected. You can't really be healthy UNTIL you enter into his suffering. It's counterintuitive.
You object, "I don't have time. Entering into his suffering will harm me!" It's the opposite.
Because he's part of your body entering into his suffering will heal you.
When get a gash in your hand, its a nuisance to stop and take care of it, but you know if you don't it will get infected and it will be far worse. Caring for others in a round about way is caring for yourself.
Look at the attitude of our great shepherd. With perfect instinct, Jesus could tell that one of his sheep was wandering off. He left the 99 to help the one. That was not convenient but care is never convenient. He focused all his energy on entering in and helping that one member.
I'll emphasize one more time. That sort of spontaneous, knee-jerk, reflexive, self-sacrificing care will happen when you look at other people as part of your body. It's the result of perspective. You will go out of your way and suffer with them. You will enter in. You will get involved. You will shoulder up close enough to them to allow their burden to slide off onto you.
What About Codependency or Enabling or Boundaries.
Now we need to address a subject that always comes up at this point. Because this principle can be acknowledged and you can still be paralyzed.
You might say, "I know I need to enter in." HOWEVER - and that HOWEVER is very significant...I know something about that person. "That person is super needy. I need to put up some boundaries so they don't drag me down with them. I want to help them but I'm scared that I if I get too close their going to throw their whole burden on me and run away."
I'm already carrying a lot and I don't have a lot of room. Does that resonate?
Or how about this one. "Man, helping that person is actually hurting them. They need to suffer a little bit to experience the consequence of their behavior. I can't enter in because that's just enabling."
Or maybe this one, "I'm the kind of person who finds meaning in helping people and that person is the kind of person who finds meaning in using people and so this codependent relationship is not going to be healthy."
In all three of these examples what is revealed is an incorrect understanding of their actual need.
The True Need in Suffering.
In bearing one another's burdens, removal of pain is important but it's not primary. There can be a lot of misdirected help in suffering. When we see another member hurting our empathy kicks in and sometimes our judgment is rushed on the best way to help.
Suffering is not always bad. It just needs to be born not removed. Empathy is not removing someone's pain. It's entering into it. It's a big difference.
Someone who is super needy and clingy is wanting you to take away all their problems. You can set boundaries and say, "I'm not here to take away your pain, I'm here to help carry your pain with you. I'm here to care for you in your pain. A person whose been enabled their whole life has probably never experienced that sort of TRUE care.
Someone who needs to suffer a bit and experience the consequences and not get immediate bailout can still be cared for. You can still empathize with how lame it would be to suffer through those consequences. You can weep with them in that.
You leave yourself open to the accusation, "If you cared you wouldn't let me suffer." But God left himself open to that accusation as well. God cares and allows us to suffer by entering into our suffering, by weeping with us as weep. By bearing it with us.
Empathy is not concerned with the suffering itself. It is concerned primarily with the feelings of isolation, loneliness - feelings which are particularly heightened in suffering. Suffering strips away your props and reminds you of your absolute neediness and loneliness.
More Glory to Christ.
Now I want to inspire you a bit. When we all use our gifts to care for injured and suffering members of the body God gets tremendous glory. Imagine for a moment an athlete who is running a marathon and is favored to win. And while coming out of the first turn falls and terribly scrapes up his body with a nasty road rash. But then that athlete gets up and shakes off the injury and keeps running and begins to pick off runners one at a time. And in the final 100 meters he passes the last guy and finishes first blood streaming down the leg. There's gravel still embedded in the wounds. That's a story! That athlete will receive serious honor? The fact that this athlete was able to finish first despite the injury....the fact that the other members of the body were able to compensate for this injured member gave the whole body greater honor.
How will other people know that Jesus, the Messiah, the Son of God has died for them? How will they know that the very presence of God lives in you?
This is no small thing. Very practically, how can we care for one another.
First of all, if you are not in a small group or bible study, would you consider joining one?
We have a dozen or so small groups that meet throughout the week and if you don't have a group of people you identify with, we'd love to help you get connected to one of these.
Or maybe you'd like to join a Bible study. We have men's and women's studies that meet throughout the week. Also, our adult Bible study meets every Sunday at 9:00am an hour before service. We need smaller settings to meet up and connect.
Path Pregnancy
Let me give you two more ideas.
This last Wednesday was Sanctity of Life day. One of the ways you can enter in and help is by getting familiar with Path Pregnancy Clinic which is a ministry to pregnant moms who are considering their options. Christie Blom is one of the founding directors of Path, is on the board and is part of our church. Talk about an opportunity to enter in get close enough to allow their burden to slide off onto you.
VOM Conference
Listen, the body of Christ is massive. And some of the greatest needs of the church are not inside these walls or even in this city. Many of you may be familiar with the VOM. It's a ministry that highlights the suffering of the persecuted church. This week we were made aware of a local conference in Nampa and we wanted to encourage you to go to that.
Talk about a direct application, "When one member suffers, the whole body suffers."
So we care for one another by suffering with one another. But there's another way we care. We care by rejoicing with one another.
Now I want to introduce this point by re-telling one of my favorite stories of David's life from 1 Samuel 30.
This was during a period of David's life when he was on the run from Saul and was living in the Philistine cities. David was out fighting a battle and while he was away from his home base in Ziklag, the Amalekites came and plundered the city and took both his wives and his wealth. That's a way to get guy mad. And so David of course wasn't going to let that stand. He went after them and they had to move quickly to catch up. You have to remember they had just returned from battle so they must have started out already exhausted.
Now the text says about 200 of his men got to a point where they were just too tired to go on. So they stayed back and watched the baggage while the rest continued fighting. When the fighting soldiers came back they said, "These guys who were too tired to help in the fighting, they should not receive any of the spoil."
Now what would you do if you were David? It would be easy to reason, "Well, that was pretty hard work to trudge ahead and wipe out the army. That's more valuable. That deserves special honor and attention and reward. It was pretty grueling. These guys deserve a bit more." But that's not how David thought. David said, "No. You're not recognizing that without them watching the baggage, you couldn't have done what you did. Your baggage would have got stolen or eaten by animals. You receive the attention but we all share in the honor. We share equally in the spoil because we are all one army, one body."
Now that's kind of a philosophical point. That's kind of a summary of what we talked about the past two weeks. We need to think of ourselves as individuals playing different parts of the whole. Yeah, we've beat that point to death.But that's not what we are talking about. We are talking about the emotional side. This text says "If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together."
Those are words of emotion. Rejoice. Suffer. Weep.
If you're one of David's mighty men, who were like the Navy Seals. These were the tough special forces dudes. If you were one of these guys who went out in battle while the others stayed behind and you come back and this guy is complaining about how tired he is and how he's got a scraped knee, "It's hard to say, 'well, he's suffering. I'm going to suffer along side him.'"
I've suffered way more than him. I deserve more sympathy that he does.
But even harder might be the other way around. Maybe you are back watching the baggage and after a little chicken noodle soup you start feeling revived and you think, "Man I should have gone. And then they come back and they are shouting in celebration! And they start telling stories about some heroic event. You might feel a tinge of jealousy." It's hard as they are getting honored by king David to rejoice in that honor. And as David lays the metal around his neck you see his bicep just rippling and you can't help but be jealous of his massive frame. Of course he's a warrior. He's built for it. He's a machine. He can JUST...KEEP...GOING.
Now the reason I love this passage is because it's a perfect opportunity to talk about the second way we care for one another by rejoicing when one member of the body rejoices.
How healthy it is to rejoice in other people's rejoicing. My favorite posts on Facebook are where I can tell that people are genuinely celebrating the successes of other people. It's such a beautiful thing. There is so much health in it.
When a couple is struggling with being pregnant and they genuinely celebrate the pregnancy of someone else. That's beautiful
When someone genuinely compliments on the job promotion or the wedding or the birth or the birthday party or whatever it is. It's beautiful.
When you rejoice with those who rejoice you rejoice that the body to which you are connected will experience more health as result of their contribution. You rejoice in the same way that you rejoice at your own child who receives awards and accomplishments. That's my boy. That's my girl. When a brother in Christ does something amazing you say, "That's my body...that's honoring Christ right there. You see that? Christ is being exalted." You rejoice in other people's successes because your identity is inseparably intertwined with their accomplishments and inseparably intertwined with their suffering.
Obstacles to Rejoicing with those who Rejoice
Now here too we need to address some common objections to rejoicing when others rejoice. One of the common thoughts that happen is this. I don't want to rejoice with those who rejoice because my rejoicing is going to cause them to get even more prideful.
They already are so stuck up about their gift and if I acknowledge their gift, I'm going to have to endure watching their feathers unfurl and watch them dance and preen in all their gifted splendor.
You know that feeling don't you. The guy who is a really gifted athlete and you compliment him and then you can almost visible watch him salivate as he enjoys every delicious compliment.
You're saying to yourself, "I'm not objecting in principle, but you don't know this guy. Rejoicing with him is not good for him. He is all ready prideful. If I rejoice it will make him even more prideful. With an attitude like that, they don't deserve a compliment anyway. It's God who gave them the gift to start with and they don't acknowledge the slightest fragment of that."
Now I totally resonate with that objection. And the reason it resonates is because I know this is what I do. Compliments taste good. And I can almost always sense temptation to make a compliment about me and not God.
I have no problem rejoicing with a humble man, but it's hard to rejoice with a prideful one.
But here is what I have begun to recognize in me - this attitude is an evidence of smoldering works based-righteousness in my heart. In other words, I think someone needs to perform rightly before they are blessed.
Friends, that is the opposite of the gospel. The gospel blesses us so that we can perform rightly.
Do you remember the parable of the workers who came to the master. He employed some of them early in the morning, some of them midday and some of them late afternoon. And when it came time to pay them, even though they had worked different hours, they all got paid the same wage.
And they of course object. That's not fair. And what does Jesus say?
Do you see here the heart of Jesus? When we object to rejoice with someone what we are doing is begrudging the generosity of Jesus. Can not Jesus give success to a prideful man? Has he not given success to you as a prideful man or woman? Can we not rejoice in the generosity of Jesus to bring blessing to sinners? Or do we begrudge the generosity of Jesus?
Jesus Christ loves to see people get things they don’t deserve. If you understand that, if you understand the only reason you stand as a Christian, is because Jesus Christ rejoiced to see you get that which you don’t deserve, if you understand THAT, it will be easy for you to rejoice in seeing others get that same undeserved grace. You will sing with them! Isn't it amazing that we get blessings from God! You will rejoice in their undeserved honor. And you know what? That will transform them.
So how do we care? We rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Closing Song
We are about to close in song as we often do and it's time to sing out to God for his generosity to us. Let's rejoice.
I cast my mind to Calvary Where Jesus bled and died for me. I see His wounds, His hands, His feet. My Savior on that cursed tree
