The Power of Example
The well-known medical missionary, Albert Schweitzer, once said
Now I heard some people react to this by saying, "Well, that's an overstatement." And I understand that reaction, especially the way it's worded. Now it would definitely be an overstatement if Albert Schweitzer was saying here that the main thing in life, the most important thing in life is to think about your example.
But I don't think that's the point. I think what he's saying is that you simply are an example whether you like it or not. If you exist your an example of something.
If I say to you, give me an example of something complicated? What do you do? You scroll through the database of your mind and find things that match the category of complicated. Calculus is an example of complicated, not because you told calculus to be complicated, but because it is. It inherently has the properties.
And every day you live, you are becoming by your actions and decisions, an example of something. Not because you woke up and said, "Today I kind of feel like working on my example of being strong so I'll do that today." No, you are constantly, non-stop, always contributing to your example of something. Faithful, unfaithful, introvert, extrovert, prideful, humble, average, plain, exotic. You are an example at all times simply by existing.
Your example is nothing more than just the external projection of who you actually are.
Your example is that sum total of everything you believe:
the sum total of your loves,
the sum total of that complicated affection matrix that makes up your heart - all of that spills over into actions,
your words,
your expressions,
your non verbal gestures,
your emotional reactions,
what you do,
what you omit doing,
what you laugh at,
what makes you cry,
Wrap all that together and that's your example.
And that example, turns out, has a VERY, VERY powerful effect on people around us. And to flip that thought around, other people's example have a VERY, VERY powerful effect on you.
If I ask you, name “one amazing Christian man or woman whose had a powerful effect on you.” There's probably a name that comes to mind and the reason they come to your mind is because of their example.
That is what we are going to talk about today.
Paul's Example in Meat to Idols
So last week we finished chapter 10 but we didn't quite finish the thought. One of the things that's easy to forget when we read our Bibles is that there were no verses or chapter breaks in the originals. It's written with a quill and ink and painstakingly copied. It was meant to just be read as a letter. But of course it became a reference work and so to make it easier to reference, well-meaning scholars in the 13th century added chapter breaks and then later in the 16th century it was broken down even further into verses. And for the most part most these monks did a fantastic job of finding the logical partitions.
But today we come to one decision they made, that seems, at least in my reading and many others, a bit unfortunate.
I said that last week Paul wrapped up this discussion of meat sacrificed to idols. And I was mostly telling the truth. He does finish and complete this discussion from a reasoning point of view. He wraps that whole complicated discussion up into a nice bow. The Corinthians approach Paul with the question, "Is it okay Paul for us to eat meat sacrificed to idols? Do we have the freedom to eat meat?" And Paul says,
"Absolutely you have freedom, love meat because God made it, eat that delicious stake to the glory of God.
But love people more than you love meat.
And love God most of all."
That was basically what he said.
And that is great. It's actually a really great answer. But it's probably really not all that helpful in real life. Because what does that really look like?
There's a single sentence that he's going to say that may ultimately end up being just as helpful or perhaps even more helpful than everything he's said so far.
But this super helpful thing he's going to say is very unhelpfully on the other side of the chapter break.
Some editors try to rescue this unfortunate chapter break by arranging the text in such a way to illustrate that chapter 11:1 actually belongs with the previous section. Here's how the ESV does it.
So let's conclude this section with this final sentence that Paul offers.
Is it okay Paul for us to eat meat sacrificed to idols? Do we have the freedom to eat meat? And Paul says,
"Love meat because God made it."
But love people more than you love meat.
But love God most of all."
And if all that is too confusing for you, what does he say?
Do what I do. If you want to know how to love meat, and love people and love God, then watch how I do it even as I have watched Christ do it. Now that's all the further we are going to go today. This is such a powerful concept and it's worth lingering here a bit and thinking about the power of example.
Disarming from the Offense.
Now I hardly think we can continue even one minute without disarming our natural aversions to what in our ears sounds like arrogance on the part of Paul.
If you ask someone in church, "Hey, I'm really struggling with knowing how to parent my kids. And they say to you, 'Well, let me give you some advice. I know there are alot of competing ideas out there. Let me just simplify things for you. We got this figured out; just do what I do.'" My instinct reaction to that is, "Well, I still have no idea what to do, but I know for sure what I'm not going to do. Anyone who says they have it figured definitely does not have it figured out."
We have this reaction because if we have any degree of self-awareness, we recognize, "How can any of us really be a good example?" We are all terrible examples of most things. The key to understanding this is to get specific on what exactly he's asking them to imitate.
Paul will be the first to say, "I've got issues." Paul called himself the foremost of sinners in 1 Tim 1:15 Ephesians 3:8; In Romans 7 he recognizes this war that goes on in his soul between the Spirit and flesh. He's saying, "I feel the flesh calling me and I regrettably listen to it." So clearly, we aren't to imitate everything he's doing. We don't imitate the sin. What are we to imitate?
Do you remember when Jesus first calls his disciples. In the first chapter of John he says
So Philip began to follow Jesus and he was convinced this is the Messiah. This is the guy. We've literally been waiting for this guy for 1500 years since Moses. Can you believe it? He's here. Follow me and I'll show you the guy who I am following.
Would you call Philip arrogant? Of course not. The only reason you follow me is so that I can connect you to the guy who you need to be following.
Paul is functioning like a street sign. Here's the direction. That's the master. He's shown me what to love, how to love, the order in which to love. He's got the truth. He knows what works. He's the architect and the engineer and the philanthropist. Follow him. I'm just a street sign. Street signs are not arrogant. They just point the way when it's not obvious.
And so Paul says the degree to which I am pointing you to the all-satisfying person of Jesus Christ, but even more specifically, the degree to which I am living skillfully in this world as Christ did, is the degree to which I am worth-while example. And if my behavior does not describe Jesus, then it's rubbish.
The Reason for Examples
Why do we need examples? Why can't we just be told what to do and we just do it. Understanding why we need examples is important.
First language itself is limited. Language is really good at some things and really terrible at other things. What would you rather do, write an essay on how to tie a shoe, or just show a person by example. You can feel the limitations of language right away in trying to explain such a simple act with words. Language is also limited in that is painfully linear. You have to read one word at a time whereas in real life many things are happening all at once. So we need examples to overcome the limitations of language.
We also happen to learn really well from examples. Biologically, God has created in us with the ability to learn shockingly well from examples. We mastered the English language by two years old merely by imitating the example of those around us. We didn't have a grammar. Nobody explain verbs, nouns, pronouns, adjectives and yet we mastered it through example.
Science has done a little bit of work in demonstrating how powerful examples can be. They have done these simple experiments where they ask for two volunteers both of whom they hook up to machines that monitor brain waves. And they ask one guy to eat a steak and then they ask the second guy to watch him eat a steak. And the brain waves of the guy watching his friend eat a steak closely mirror the actual guy eating the steak. They call these mirror neurons. Just by watching, we enter in and can literally learn by nothing more than an example.
It's been demonstrated without doubt that the mere act of watching a good player shoot a basketball, the mere act of watching a good golf swing, the mere act of watching a baseball player swing his bat can improve that in the watcher. We learn from examples.
So examples are useful in overcoming the barriers of language, they happen to be very effective tools for learning, but these are minor reasons compared to the really big reason why we need examples.
The really big reason we need examples is because what we are being asked to do is incredibly difficult. The Bible is always telling us to alter our loves, rearrange our affections, redirect our love but that ask is in competition with a thousand other things that are also competing for our affections and love.
The Bible is constantly telling us to give up things, to live for certain things, to make our life mainly about other things. But it's massively complicated to work that out in the actual world in which we live. To really take that seriously would mean giving up some things that I really love, while maintaining the existence of that very thing I'm trying to give up. We say to ourselves, "I know that's what it says, but I have no idea how to work that out."
For example:
The Way Examples Clarify
I remember reading that verse when I was younger and that verse just blowing me over. I thought, I can't love the world, like at all? And I thought, well the world actually has a lot of things that I love. Shoot.
And God helped me get to the point where I was willing to give it up but I still had to live my life in the world with these things all around me. It wasn't like I could just open up the clear cover on a switch and press a button which detonated the world and then I could live in heaven. It wasn't a binary decision.
How could I play sports but not make sports my God. How could I watch TV without having TV alter my love? How could I enjoy hobbies without letting hobbies be my master? How am I supposed to obey this command?
And by watching examples of people I respected, I learned that legalistic asceticism does not cure your heart of loving the world. But I also learned that nearly everyone I respected personally limited themselves and died to self in some unique way so as to not love the world.
I watched as people used the things of the world with gospel purpose. I watched as people gave of the things God had given them. I watched as people sang praise to God and gave him glory by enjoying his gifts. It really instructed, challenged and shaped me.
There are all kinds of verses in the Bible like this, that on a principle level are very simple but on the other hand are so difficult and complex to really work out.
What does that look like? How do you actually do that? You might say, "I have some people that have hurt me pretty bad and I have no idea how to love them." What does it look like to love someone but not really trust them? What does it look like to forgive someone who hasn't asked for forgiveness? What does it look like to pray for someone who wants your harm? We need examples.
Well this trial is anything but joyful. How do I count it as joy? How can I deal with real emotions of loss while drawing on the ballast of joy? How can I trust God even while doubting the situation? We need examples.
How does this look? If there's a deadline and I feel pressure, what do I do? I recently was talking with a friend of mine who just this last year was promoted to the very highest management roll at Micron. He is working directly with the CEO and the opening words out of the CEO's mouth was, "I'm giving you a chance here. You have billions of dollars in your hands. Don't blow it."
This guy is a solid believer. I know he's asking the question, "What does it look like to be anxious for nothing when you have all this pressure on you." We need examples.
Do you see the point? How this stuff gets lived out is largely determined by example. That's one really good argument for reading Christian biographies. It so helpful to see how other believers work these things out. It can be so incredibly helpful. They give us examples to follow.
Two Different Kinds of Example
And that's exactly what Paul is doing here. Paul is offering an example. Paul says 'imitate' me as I am of Christ. That Greek word imitate is the word μιμητής and it's the same root from which we get our English word mimic.
Now mimic in the English language has a slightly different meaning than imitate. Mimic is more what children do. They mimic your laugh or they mimic your expressions. They have no idea the significance of what they are doing, they just do it for the sheer entertainment of trying to copy. A parrot can mimic a human but he has no idea what he's saying or why he's saying it or what it means.
One way to say it is that mimicry is a superficial means of imitation.
Now the only reason I bring this up is it's going to help us make a distinction.
On the surface saying that we need to mimic behavior is an appalling concept in Christian theology. Do we want merely to act like Jesus? Do want merely to ape the behavior on the outside such that the actions all align externally? Are we trying to superficially mimic behavior like a parrot? The Bible has a word for that - it's called a hypocrite being one thing on the outside but being something totally different on in the inside. A white washed tomb comes to mind.
We reject any parenting methodology that says, "Just get your kids to merely mimic good behavior."
Why do we say that? Because we know that behavior is the fruit of a love you ultimately possess. And God honoring behavior is ultimately a fruit of the Spirit. Ted Tripp in one of his books has this perfect illustration where he says, if I want apples from my apple tree, then the last thing you want to do is go to Albertsons and pick up a box of apples and go out to the tree and begin stapling apples to that tree. That's a ridiculous thought. Those apples didn't come from that tree. That appeals to precisely no one. Who is 'pro' that kind of effort?
And his point is obvious. How can we really alter our behavior without first altering our heart? We've go to get to the root. If the root is rotten, isn't the solution to good fruit to first heal the root? So on the surface, asking anyone to mimic behavior only is a very appalling concept. So it really does beg the question, "Why is Paul asking us to imitate him?"
Well, here's the problem. Sure, we will concede that the root change precedes fruit change. We will concede the heart change precedes behavior change. But how do we convince the heart it needs changing? Right now we are all admittedly operating in an imperfect mode but its the best imperfect mode we know. We know that what we love produces our behaviors and our loves are all out of whack.
Here's what can be majorly discouraging. You want to love and you try to love but you realize you don't have the skill to love. It can certainly be true that we actually do love, but we don't know how to live it out.
This is a legitimate concept. A person might really want to swing a club well, but doesn't know how to do it.
The problem is that loving is not easy. Love is complicated. Love is not a simple act like carrying a bucket or pushing a log or lifting an axe. Love is a skill that is learned. Love is rarely thought of in terms of a skill but I believe it's one of the best ways to think of it.
Think about things that we call skills. We might say, "Man that person is a skilled woodworker or cook or magician or surgeon." We recognize that this person has really mastered their trade.
We can instinctively understand that this kind of competency and artistry and aptitude doesn't just happen accidentally.
Not a single person can be what he has become without an incredible effort.
There is a dexterity and genius and deftness that has been applied to the discipline.
The master has really hones all the necessary components expertly.
There are millions of wrong ways of doing it and only a handful of right ways and this master has found all of them.
He's discovered all the common problems and found clever work-arounds.
He's understood the right pace at which to approach so as not work around the limitations of human weakness.
He's practiced to overcome the common mistakes. He's got an instinct in how to respond when problems arise and come his way.
What makes a master a master is being able to do exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.
Let's take it into the sporting world. A golf swing is a very complicated move. All of us can turn our hips. All of us can hinge our wrist. All of us can grip, bend, lock and unlock our elbow. But putting that all together at exactly the right time is massively difficult. That's what makes a master a master.
That is what we mean by a SKILL. All of that applies to love. All of it.
How do you love your unbelieving neighbor whose lifestyle is in dramatic opposition to yours.
We have a million question. The conflicts that surface are legion. Perhaps you have the best intention to start a gospel conversation with your neighbor but the conversation quickly drifts to areas you do not appreciate. They celebrate sexual freedom, or clearly reveal their worship money, or express their hatred of religion and especially Christians. How do you respond? You know you are supposed to love but you have no skill in doing so. How can I adroitly maintain truth delivered in tones of grace? How do I express my disagreement while being patient and understanding? The collision of values intersect in such a way that cause a person to squirm.
What you really want to do is love the person but you have very little SKILL in doing so. A skilled person could love this person by saying exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. Perhaps they pivot perfectly and at the perfect time instead of making a statement they ask a question. Or instead of making a judgment about something, they make an observation that describes. When do you do what? How do you do it? In what tone? Love is a SKILL.
All of us have been in situations like this and we find ourselves wanting to push the eject button. We feel like punting. And there's not a person among us who wouldn't at that moment love what? An example. How am I supposed to do this? I don't know. I have no idea what phrases would work here? I have no idea!
The kind of loving SKILL Paul has in mind here is the kind of SKILL that actually solves the dilemma. Paul says watch how I do this complicated move. It's a way of navigating through tough situations and once it's seen you say, "ahh that was masterful!" It all makes sense. The imitation was needed to help you see the way because it seemed impossible at first blush. The conflict, paradox seemed unsolvable. IT seemed the conflict of values was insurrmountable, but your solution is elegant and brilliant!
I imagine that watching Jesus interact with the people he ministered to was a non-stop exhibition of mastery in how to deal with people. It was perfect love wielded with perfect SKILL worked out in relationships. I know that would have just created a magnetic attraction to see this so masterfully displayed.
It's the power of the example.
Now let's bring it back to the text. Paul of course had to live in the same real world these people did. And he knew this was uber complicated. There were no simple answers to this question of when it was okay to eat meat and when it was not.
How am I going to conduct business when my business meetings demand that I attend these events?
Where do the work lines blur with the church lines?
Where does my personal faith conflict with being a good employee for my company?
There were going to be conflicts where this really chafed and was unclear.
Paul says, listen I've laid out the principle, but in the real world it's really hard to love God and love people and love meat all in the right way and in the right order. So let's follow good examples.
How to Leverage Example
Let me wrap this message into four thoughts.
Find an Example to Follow
Let's just make the obvious statement that some believers are much, much, much further along in their walk, with God, in their pursuit of wisdom, in their knowledge of who God is, their understanding of self, then others.
In almost any other field, if you really want to grow, and you have at your disposal a master. You almost salivate at the opportunity to learn from them.
- If you want to learn art, and in walks your favorite artist, what a joy it would be to learn from him - If you want to learn the shoot three-pointers and Steph Curry comes walking in and volnteers to give you some tips. You are all ears. Whatever he says to you, your brain goes into non-stop record mode and that will be a story you tell for the rest of your life.
We have no problem taking advice from a master or a skilled coach. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I need help here. Take that concept into your walk with the Lord and how to love people. Clearly I have no idea what I am doing. I need helping properly developing this skill.
Loving everything perfectly in the right order is actually a skill we develop through practice, experience, and instruction just like everything else we learn. We need help from others so go find it. Maybe it's your small group leader or someone whose really just lived a life in an exemplary sort of way.
It could be just in a specific area. Find and example. Whose far along in your walk compared to you. Listen to their advice.
Do you realize that even Jesus himself had an example. Even Jesus himself had an example.
Be an Example to be Followed
Now on the one hand, it's good to have high self-awareness and realize, man we will never arrive. But if you can't look at people around you and say, follow me, then something is wrong. And remember, you can't just back away and say, "I'm no example, go follow someone else." You always are an example of something. And even if people aren't emulating you directly, they will use you as justification for their bad behavior.
Well, my dad never loved me therefore I have justification for this sinful behavior. My dad struggled with pornography and he turned out okay, so I can too. My mom was always working and neglecting and constantly distracted so how could I be expected to really know how to live a life that honors the Lord.
Now as unfair as these statements are, they will still be thought. Our example is inescapably having consequences.
Some people may never open the Bible or darken the door of a church. They may never look to see what the Scriptures say to them. But they will watch you. They will take note of the way you live, the way you treat your family, how you do your job, and the way you function as a follower of Jesus Christ. And they will make their evaluation about God accordingly.
This does not mean you have to be perfect. Show what it's like to repent and be humble and admit failure. Show what's like to own up to your mistakes. Show what it's like to openly, desperately seek the Lord because you know that in your own power you are impossibly inadequate.
That is why Paul was so enraged in I Corinthians 5. And have you noticed exactly who Paul yells at? He didn’t scold the man who was in the sinful sexual liason; rather he sharply rebuked the church which would tolerate such sin among it’s members!
Allow for Nuance and Variety in the Application of Example.
Not every skilled athlete shoots or kicks the ball the same. Not every skilled cook works the same way. Not every skilled businessman works the same. But the core principles are the same.
Following examples does not ultimately make clones. Following examples will apply principles that make you into a unique good example.
Mimicry is a formation exercise that begins to train the love. When that love blooms fully formed in you (or someone who is following you - ie your kids) it will have it's unique flavor.
Allow for Time in Training of Love. - Paedea is a lifelong process.
We think of love as something that is a simple action. But loving something is an act of balance. When we choose to love one thing it ripples through our entire being changing shifting and reordering other loves.
IKEA engineers are masters at taking entire living rooms and vacuum sealing into a perfectly square box that fits into the back of your SUV. Ordering our loves is like trying to assemble that furniture without directions. You open up the box and you can see the big pieces. And you start putting it together and about half way through the process you realize that the holes are not lining up and you unknowingly switched the left and right legs. And so the only way to move forward is to tear it back down and start over.
Reordering our loves is like that. And it takes time to deal with the implications of a disordered love. Do you mean I can never again enjoy this idol in my life?
Nothing can be loved or unloved without it effecting the entire structure of the human heart. It's complicated in it's interconnectedness. You have to give it time for that new love to propagate itself through the soul. Be insistent but patient.
The sticky drawer principle
Acknowledge the Spiritual Component.
We can never remove the mystery of this. What cosmic mechanism is at work that actually produces change in us? The Bible's answer to this is the Holy Spirit. Regeneration must take place first for this to work. It seems that it is the act of imitating that then restores, reawakens, realigns, re-reminds us of our need for Christ.
You need to absolutely rid your mind of the fact that what we are trying to do here is get you to do something you don't want to do. That's ridiculous. The goal here is to transform you entirely! To completely blow up your worldview.
