In this episode, I sit down with Pastor Deborah Flanagan for a deeply honest and grace-filled conversation about love and sex addiction, compulsive masturbation, and the hope we can find in recovery. We explore the powerful role that childhood wounds, trauma, and shame play in shaping our sexuality—and how compassion, vulnerability, and spiritual tools can guide us toward healing.

Deborah brings both pastoral wisdom and lived experience to this conversation. She’s a leader at Pure Desire Ministries, an organization that walks with individuals and churches through the journey of healing from sexual brokenness. As someone who’s walked the path of recovery herself, Deborah offers insight on how the FASTER Scale helps identify emotional states that precede relapse, and how true healing requires presence, community, and grace.

We also talk about the tension between love addiction and love avoidance, parenting with acceptance, the holiness of sex and marriage, and what it means to be fully known without shame.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of fantasy, secrecy, or emotional disconnection—or you’re supporting someone who is—this episode offers encouragement, practical tools, and the reminder that you’re not alone.

Topics include:

• Childhood experiences and their impact on sexuality
• The role of trauma, shame, and conviction
• Navigating gray areas of sin and personal beliefs
• The holiness of sex and marriage
• Love addiction, intimacy disorders, and relational dynamics
• Conflict resolution, emotional awareness, and vulnerability
• The FASTER Scale and breaking the addiction cycle

Recommended Resources:

www.puredesire.org

www.youtube.com/@PureDesireMinistries

"Unraveled Kit" by Pure Desire Ministries, a curriculum online to help manage love, sex, and relationship addiction.

www.iitap.com

www.sexhelp.com

PIxabay Music: "Exciting Day" and "Team Positive Day"

In this episode, I sit down with Annie Finch, LMFT, CSAT, and CADC, a therapist at Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara,CA who specializes in working with individuals navigating betrayal trauma, especially in the context of addiction. Annie shares her background and breaks down what betrayal trauma is, how it impacts people, and why group therapy can be such a meaningful part of the healing journey.

We also talk about cultural dynamics around shame, how therapeutic approaches like EMDR can help, and what recovery can look like for those walking through deep emotional pain. This conversation is full of wisdom, hope, and reminders that healing and transformation are truly possible—even after betrayal. May you walk away with more insight and clarity on how to navigate thru betrayal trauma, whether this is your story or someone else whom you deeply care for.

Recommended sites:

www.rivieratherapy.com

www.michellemays.com

www.kristensnowden.com

www.drgaboremate.com

Recommended books:

"The Myth of Normal" by Gabor Mate

"Moving Beyond Betrayal" by Vicki Palmer

*Pixabay Music : "Exciting Day" and "Team Positive Day"

Takeaways:

Betrayal trauma can start as early as childhood.

Addiction often stems from underlying trauma.

Group therapy provides a safe space for healing.

Cultural backgrounds can influence the experience of betrayal.

Shame is a common response to betrayal, especially in certain cultures.

Therapeutic approaches like EMDR can aid in recovery.

Healing can occur with or without the partner's involvement.

Betrayal trauma can lead to questioning one's identity.

Support groups can help individuals feel less alone.

Recovery is a challenging but transformative process.

In this episode of Faith and Feels, I dive into the powerful insights shared at the Betrayal Healing Conference 2025, featuring Dr. Peter Levine and Tammy Gustafson. Dr. Levine is a biophysicist and founder of Somatic Experiencing and Gustafson is a betrayal trauma coach, writer, and speaker. Drawing from their discussion and The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, we explore the impact of betrayal trauma on the body and mind.

I discuss Dr. Levine’s suggestion of meditating on a childhood memory as a tool for healing—how reconnecting with our past can guide us toward restoration. To close, I lead a guided meditation designed to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you cultivate safety, regulation, and a deeper connection to your healing journey.

There are tons of helpful resources and materials for those who work with betrayal trauma or perhaps you yourself are going thru this very issue in your life currently. Help and support is available! Keep looking and you'll find the tools you've been waiting for!

Recommended Books & Sites:

"Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma" and "An Autobiography of Trauma : A Healing Journey" By Dr. Peter Levine

www.somaticexperiencing.com

www.instagram.com/drpeteralevine/

www.betrayalhealing.com

Pixabay Music :

"Exciting Day" "Worship Piano" "Atmospheric Inspirational"

In this episode of Faith and Feels, I sit down with therapist, speaker, and author Heather Cronemiller to explore the often-overlooked struggles of love and sex addiction among women. Heather opens up about her personal journey of recovery, the emotional triggers behind these patterns, and the importance of reparenting the inner child. We also discuss the role of fantasy in love addiction and the essential coping skills needed for healing.

If you've ever felt stuck in toxic relationship cycles, struggled with obsessive love, or used relationships to fill a deeper void, this conversation is for you. I hope it brings you insight, encouragement, and practical steps toward healing.

Heather is the author of "Going Deeper For Women: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Love & Sex Addiction"

For info on her practice and background, log onto www.cronemillercounseling.com

www.boldjourney.com/meet-heather-cronemiller/

Heather was also a featured guest on Youtube Channel "Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships" on December 14, 2024, interviewed by a panel of therapists, Tim Stein, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone, and Wendy Conquest.

Music by Pixabay "Exciting Day" and "Mixaund Happiness"

Takeaways:

Heather shares her personal experience with love addiction.

The importance of identifying core emotional triggers in recovery.

Healthy sexuality should enhance life, not detract from it.

Support groups are crucial for those struggling with addiction.

Mindfulness techniques can help ground individuals in the present.

Reparenting the inner child is a key aspect of healing.

Secrets keep us sick; sharing is vital for recovery.

Coping skills and replacement behaviors are essential in recovery.

The role of relationships can significantly impact recovery.

There is hope for those struggling with love and sex addiction.

In this episode of Faith and Feels, I’m joined by Hiroko Hsieh, a trauma-informed therapist who helps people break free from the effects of trauma and life’s challenges. Hiroko shares how she uses approaches like parts work and brainspotting to access the subcortical brain—where past experiences and trauma are stored—to create deep and lasting healing.

We dive into the power of curiosity in therapy, how our symptoms are often adaptations to our environment, and why true healing happens when we create a safe space to process emotions without judgment. Hiroko also brings a unique perspective on cultural identity, faith, and mental health, drawing from her international background and personal experiences.

Whether you're feeling stuck, struggling with past wounds, or simply curious about how trauma-informed therapy works, this conversation is full of wisdom and hope. You don't want to miss this episode!

For more info on Hiroko Hsieh's background and experience, log onto www.restingsheep.com

Recommended sites:

www.brainspotting.com

www.theembodylab.com

www.therapywisdom.com

(Janina Fisher's Part's Modality)

www.drdansiegel.com/hand-model-of-the-brain/

www.jennariemersma.com

Recommended books:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel

Altogether You by Jenna Riemersma

*Music by Pixabay: "Exciting Day Inspiring Piano" "Atmospheric Inspirational"

Takeaways:

Hiroko has a unique background as a Japanese Christian therapist.

The journey into mental health often starts with personal experiences.

Trauma can be defined as how we adapt to overwhelming experiences.

Emotional needs unmet in childhood can lead to trauma.

Brain spotting is an innovative therapy for trauma treatment.

Therapists often play a role in helping clients feel safe again.

Understanding trauma requires a relational perspective.

Physiological responses can indicate trauma processing.

Curiosity and trust in the therapeutic process are essential.

Healing involves recognizing and processing implicit memories. Healing from trauma is a gradual process that requires practice.

Brain spotting helps individuals connect with feelings of safety and joy.

Implicit memories shape our perceptions and responses to the world.

Self-loathing can be addressed through curiosity and compassion.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us understand different parts of ourselves.

Rewiring neural networks is essential for healing trauma.

Compassion is crucial in overcoming self-criticism and negative thoughts.

Finding a kinder way to speak to ourselves is vital for healing.

Inviting Jesus into our healing journey can provide comfort and acceptance.

The healing journey can be less scary when approached with kindness.

In this Part 2 episode, I continue my conversation with Sam Louie, a psychotherapist, motivational speaker, author, and spoken word poet, who shares deeper into his journey in recovery and the power of community such as a support group. He also shares how his faith in God helped him to challenge his thinking especially thru the lens of grace and acceptance towards himself. An episode you don't want to miss, along with a personal spoken word presented towards the end. Join us for an insightful conversation on breaking shame, embracing vulnerability, and finding hope in recovery.

To learn more about Sam Louie's background and expertise, please log onto www.louieassociates.com

www.samlouiespeaks.com

Books recommended:

"Passport to Shame: From Asian Immigrant to American Addict" by Sam Louie

"Spoken Not Broken: Healing thru Poetry" by Sam Louie

"Asian Shame and Addiction: Suffering in Silence" by Sam Louie

"Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend

"Inside Out" by Larry Crabb

Music by Pixabay : "A Small Miracle"

In this Part 1 episode, I sit down with Sam Louie, a psychotherapist, motivational speaker, author, and spoken word poet, who shares his journey as a first-generation Chinese American navigating cultural identity, internalized racism, and addiction. Sam opens up about his struggles with pornography addiction, navigating the challenges of divorce, the impact of family dynamics, and the transformative power of therapy and community support. We discuss his transition from journalism to becoming a certified sex addiction therapist, the role of faith in healing, and how group therapy fosters emotional authenticity. Join us for an insightful conversation on breaking shame, embracing vulnerability, and finding hope in recovery.

To learn more about Sam Louie's background and expertise, please log onto www.louieassociates.com

www.samlouiespeaks.com

Books recommended:

"Passport to Shame: From Asian Immigrant to American Addict" by Sam Louie

"Spoken Not Broken: Healing thru Poetry" by Sam Louie

"Asian Shame and Addiction: Suffering in Silence" by Sam Louie

"Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend

"Inside Out" by Larry Crabb

Music by Pixabay: "Delicate Reverie"

Takeaways:

Sam Louie's journey reflects the complexities of cultural identity.

Internal racism can lead to self-hatred and denial of one's heritage.

Finding community can help individuals embrace their cultural identity.

Role models play a crucial role in shaping aspirations and possibilities.

Transitioning careers can stem from personal struggles and realizations.

Understanding sex addiction requires addressing underlying issues and shame.

Cultural background influences professional choices and paths.

The journey to self-acceptance is often fraught with challenges.

Therapy can provide a safe space for exploring difficult emotions.

Personal experiences can inform and enhance therapeutic practices. The initial acknowledgment of addiction can be a painful process.

Family dynamics play a crucial role in understanding addiction.

Therapy and support groups are essential for recovery.

Cultural influences can affect emotional expression and healing.

Transitioning careers can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Humor can be a coping mechanism for deeper emotional issues.

In this episode of Faith and Feels, I’m sharing a seminar I led at the CRU/EPIC Conference on January 19, 2025. This college ministry conference brought together nearly 1,000 students at the Hyatt in Garden Grove, CA, where I had the privilege of leading a breakout session on Loneliness and Anxiety. With only 45 minutes to present, I covered key insights on navigating these struggles from both a mental health and faith-based perspective. I hope this session encourages and blesses you!

*Research quoted: Based on Harvard Grad School of Education (Loneliness Article on Oct 2024) 21 % of respondents (national survey) reported suffering serious loneliness. Based on American Psychiatric Association, 30% of adults experienced loneliness in early 2024

*Books recommended:

"Find Your People" by Jennie Allen, "Deep Wounds, Deep Healing" by Charles Kraft, "The 7 Desires of Every Heart" by Mark and Debbie Lasser

"Polyvagal Theory" by Stephen Porges

"Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzero (*Correct Tagline of book - "It's impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature" my apologies for quoting incorrect tagline in the seminar)

*Resource used during closing meditation: Fathersloveletter.com

*App recommended : Soul Time Christian Meditation App

*Spiritual Direction recommended: www.companionsforyourjourney.com

*Retreat Center recommended: www.materdolorosa.org

(Unfortunately the havenoc retreat center mentioned in the seminar is closed currently)

www.thehavenoc.com

*Few Seminar Feedback from CRU/EPIC College Students:

"This was extremely helpful to me! I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a couple years now and always felt that it was in my head and just pushed it away. But now I see that God wants us to be open and honest with him and others close to us to heal!" - Student A

"Loved the breathing exercise" -Student B

"Great! I feel less anxious LOL" -Student C

In this episode of Faith and Feels, I change things up a bit by sharing a "lighter" content of my recent reflections on embracing vulnerability, the importance of emotions, and the journey of healing. I talk about how my podcasting journey has helped me relinquish control and find freedom in expressing my feelings. I emphasize the significance of listening to God's voice, being reflective, and connecting with my heart and soul. I also encourage you to open your eyes to the beauty around you and seek God's presence in your life. Enjoy my "Random Rambling Reflections" of connecting with myself and recent convos with dear friends and sisters in Christ. (I will share my RRR's periodically to just mix things up in a "bite size" fashion, heh!)

In this episode, I reflect on my conversation with Paul Ho, diving into the complex realities of healing, trauma, and human trafficking. Together, we discuss the nonlinear journey of healing and the vital role of community support. I also explore God's justice and its profound reach, the importance of recognizing human dignity through the Imago Dei, and how confronting painful truths can lead to lasting transformation. We touch on the collective responsibility of educating ourselves and others about the impact of pornography and trafficking, and why empowerment often brings more change than rescue. Join me for a heartfelt discussion on how awareness, faith, and hope can pave the way for meaningful change.

Recommended Resources:

www.27million.com

www.elpozodevida.org

www.protectyoungeyes.com

www.jennariemersma.com

www.fightthenewdrug.com

Books:

"Painful Miracles" by Benny Yu

"Altogether You" by Jenna Riemersma

Pixabay Music: "Relaxing Piano" and "A Small Miracle"

One Listener's Response to Episode 13 Interview with Paul Ho:

"I was so blessed by the podcast with Paul Ho. It was a powerful testimony of God’s compassion and mercy. What struck me most was Paul’s humility - in his own journey of healing as well as the way he ministers to others and confronts human trafficking."

Second Listener's Response to Episode 13 Interview with Paul Ho:

"What was convicting? What Paul said about the Imago Dei, everyone bears God's image as His creation. For me it's easy to think of those women that way, but that applies to Paul, too, even when he was consuming pornography. And God has transformed him into his better/best self that better reflects God's character. This principle was first planted in me when I listened to the episode with Sawyer and Jordan when they said that during their mission trip in Mexico City they had a street party in El Pozo including these women as well as the pimps. Everyone, absolutely everyone, bears God's image.

What was shocking? Many things were shocking to me since I had no idea...that even as young as one year olds are being abused this way, and that women who experienced this abuse, this way of slavery, even for one year, don't live long as Paul mentioned the ministry in Africa where the head of that ministry said the average longevity of the women in her ministry is 40! Also the fact that pornography is tied to human trafficking or other kinds of crime. Paul mentioned a case where people's images were exposed without their consent.

How did God speak to me? I was compelled to intercede for the people caught in this kind of slavery and for ministries that work with them. I can't imagine the emotional strength (as well as physical) that is required for this sort of ministry day in and day out. I prayed for regular rest and restoration for Paul and his team. I'm also wondering if God is taking me deeper into believing the truth of His goodness. How can one still believe God is good when faced with such depth and width of evil day in and day out? "

*Thank you for sharing your responses, Listeners! Let's keep educating ourselves and others around us!