Falling Gently Podcast

Every since once upon a time

There has been a little fairy named Eve

Eve is a fairy of very small size

With a bright sunny smile and dark friendly eyes

With her wand she can make the most wonderful toys

They’re small and they’re fun and she does it with poise

Eve lives in a fairy glen, most fairies do

But this special glen is a pumpkin patch, too

The fairies carve shapes out to make cozy spaces

That twinkle and sparkle like warm friendly faces

And for miles around there, most everyone knows

This part of the fairy glen’s called All Hallows

Now pumpkins and fairies are really quite dandy

But Eve’s favorite thing in the whole world is candy

She loves it, she loves it, she loves it a bunch

She’d eat it for breakfast AND dinner AND lunch

Well, fairies can do that without getting sick

But making the candy, well, that’s a big trick

Try as she may, Eve just couldn’t make any

Not even the candy you get for a penny

“Oh, what good is magic,” she asked her dear pappy

“If you can’t conjure things that would make you most happy”

Well, Eve found out in the most magical way

On a crisp autumn night that was her birthday!

Eve called all her friends to come by for some fun

The month was October, the day, 31

Her party was wonderful, full of fun games

And singing and dancing ‘round fairy-sized flames

Well, Eve’s favorite game is to play make believe

And fairies turn into the things they conceive

A dragon, a monkey, a princess, a knight

A silly old ghost and a witch with a kite

A lion, a tiger, and there in the back

Is Eve’s favorite friend, a young pirate named Jack

Well, when it was time for Eve’s birthday cake

A Huge candy tower she wanted to make

She hoped that some fairy dust sprinkled just right

And some fresh birthday magic would help her this night

But try as she may, once again Eve was sad,

Just toys shaped like candy, but tasting quite bad

A whistle that looked like a striped candy cane

A toy cake that squeaked and a doll Mary Jane

Tootsie-Roll Lincoln Logs

Candy bar blocks, harmonicas, jacks, even some rocks!

Her friends, wanting Eve to feel oh-so-much better

Decided to think up a way that would let her

and Jack, who enjoyed a good puzzle to solve

He came up with a plan, and he said with resolve:

“It’s her birthday today, we could help her to smile

We can get her some treats, a whole sack, a big pile

We’ll let others know that she’s so sad without it

We’ll go to each home in the patch, how about it?”

Well the others agreed and set off with a run

To each home in All Hallows, and boy, was it fun!

Still looking like fanciful, whimsical creatures

They went off in twos, fairy tale double-features

They could tell who was home for their pumpkins did shine

And they went to each house and repeated these lines:”We’ve come to get All Hallows Eve a nice treat

We’re looking for candy and sweet things to eat

Today is her birthday, we all feel so bad

‘Cuz she cannot make candy and that makes her so sad”

Sweet candies, confections of all shapes and sizes

Those fairy homes offered them like they were prizes

But at one house, a fairy he was funny and quick,

Didn’t have any candy, so he taught Jack a trick

“Show this trick to Eve and you’ll see her bright smile

She’ll giggle with laughter at least for a while”

So well into darkness those fairies collected

Some treats and a trick that were somehow connected

And finally (their wings were exhausted you see)

They went back to Eve and they sang happily,

“Happy Birthday Dear Eve, we’ve got a surprise

So now take a deep breath and please cover your eyes!”

When she opened her eyes, there was candy galore

Her heart leapt with joy, she had never seen more

“Oh, thank you! Oh, thank you! My dream! It came true!

And all through the magic of friendship from you!”

And for Eve, to whom candy is wonderful stuff

Finally, at last, she had quite enough.

And then Eve remembered the toys she had made

She could give one to each of her friends as a trade

This made her heart leap again, swelling with joy

As she handed each fairy a shiny new toy.

And then Jack did his trick

And it turned out just right

Eve laughed and she laughed and the whole room got bright

“Oh, Jack! You’re a lantern!” said Eve, “and what’s more

You’re the best friend a fairy could ever wish for”

And that my dear friends was the first Halloween

But it wasn’t the last, and there’s lots in between

Each year on Eve’s birthday those fairies still meet

They dress up and play games and then beg, “trick or treat”

They give candy to Eve and she makes each a toy

They celebrate friendship, true Halloween joy

Oh, the fun that they have, well, now, you can join too

So dress up, go collecting, you know what to do

Give her your candy, a toy you’ll receive

You can share in the magic of All Hallows Eve

~

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

We the people

In reverence for our shared earth

And all of the life expressing on it

Wanting our lives and efforts to help create a world that works for everyone

Do hereby declare and acknowledge

The radical intimacy of all living things

Our interdependence

And our responsibility for ourselves and towards each other

Brings us together to meet our challenges

Through the shared wisdom of listening with respect and care

And acting from vetted inspiration, developed together

Following a path of cooperation and fairness

Seeking a future of mutually assured development for all

Knowing our good expands by including all of life in our circle of care

And sharing the resources available to all equitably

We track the impact of our efforts through listening

Refining our solutions and patterns to benefit more beings

This is how we measure progress

The thriving of more and more of our brothers and sisters

Human and beyond

The water, the air, the soil

We acknowledge different ways of seeing and communicating

And slow down enough to make room for each entity’s message

We reckon with the legacies of extraction and exclusion that have shaped the systems of the past centuries

We acknowledge the histories of harm and the structures of dominance that have fractured our belonging.

We commit to repair — as love in action — restoring balance where life has been diminished.

We mature beyond thinking humans know best

And recognize aligned, progressive action is evolving through all of life

We mature past individual consumer acquisition

Into engaged reciprocity

We mature past posturing and speak our truths, knowing our society is designing to meet all our needs

We mature past chasing pictures of success

Into settled wholeness naturally expanding and expressing in service

Innovation continues to move us forward

Though it’s not drive for more

It’s refining our approaches for a lighter touch, more efficient distribution of resources, deeper care

We commit to each other, to our shared home, to our mutual wellness

The chase is off, the dance begins

In harmony with the music of our shared aliveness

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

Recently, my friend had an experience around the goddess Sekhmet in Egypt

Sekhmet is the lion-headed goddess, and she does not play

She represents “being strong” but that can be kindof elusive

So, I looked her up and I loved what I learned

Being strong means seeing yourself in the most favorable light imaginable

Isn’t that a remarkable definition?

It makes perfect sense

Strength comes from inner fortification

How better to fortify ourselves

Than by seeing ourselves in the most favorable light imaginable

It’s nourishing

You’re seeing yourself in light

And that is our strength (which I’ve always associated with grit)?

What an upgrade from my old, judgy thoughts about my strength and weakness

It’s there

In the light

That we see ourselves in

With compassion and accountability

Standing our ground on the earth

And moving through it

In the light.

What kindness, what power

What an act of self-tenderness and bold empowerment simultaneously

I love this new (to me) definition of Being Strong

It’s an invitation to action

Heck, i feel like the words themselves carry a transmission

When we see ourselves in the most favorable light

We can see more and more the world that way, too

Not judging where we are and where the improvements need to come

But knowing life is always in progress

It’s becoming

Exactly how it can through the matter it has to move

Always towards greater love, freedom, and connection

Seeing life in the most favorable light

Is available

It’s just a different orientation

Rather than trying to sort life coming at me

Figure out what’s right and wrong and if I’m prepared

I’m going to hold myself to seeing myself in the most favorable light

There’s a confidence in resource there that doesn’t have to strategize

It can meet what comes

Not from a defensive ‘trying to prove myself’ (even to myself) posture

But sovereignty in relation to all that is

May we all be strong.

The light is beautiful.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

It started out simply enough

If I found myself walking toward an intersection

And the turn I was planning to take had a bunch of lawnmowers or construction vehicles

I took the other route

New walk. Starting now. Abandon old plan.

Quality of walk is important to me

That was my gateway into reading life as it presented itself

Getting out of my idea of what I thought it was going to be

And let it be what it is, cultivated and curated by receptivity to life all around me

Twirling me like a Tai Chi evasion

Tai Chi is really cool like that

I’ve seen people spin so elegantly at what could’ve been a catastrophic fall

Being in sync with life is very supportive

But sometimes it doesn’t necessarily feel like you’re in sync with life

Some days are harder than others

Some days it’s harder to see any signs

And in periods like that

Little “you’re in the right place” symbols

For some people it’s 11:11 (or 4:20) on a clock

Or the phone call when you’re thinking of someone

Or the electric company owing you money

Or the most ridiculous series of events leading to this little auspicious moment

And I call these Kisses from the Universe

Life tying itself in a little bow to let you know you’re loved

Of course we’re always loved

But these fleeting moments brush against us with a wink

You can feel it - it splashes on you - it’s undeniable

Noticing these kisses amplifies their ability to delight us

A good thing appreciated becomes a great thing

We all shine brighter when we’re noticed and appreciated

Including dynamics

The dynamic of being in relationship with all of life brightens as we tend to it

We don’t have to plan it all in our heads, it’s gonna happen in real time

That’s an orientation that bestows effulgent blessings

It lets us be in the moment, in trust, feeling all we encounter is invested in our thriving, as we are in theirs

Claire Zammit has a saying, “The universe is organizing around my success”

And nature plays out that nature cares for and evolves through each of us, all of itself

A thousand unseen strands of connection hover around us always

And every once in a while we get these overt, can’t-miss-it signals:

We’re on the right track.

Bask.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

Scilla Elworthy said, “anger is like gasoline, if you keep it in, it poisons you, if you spit it out, it makes everything around you more flammable. If you put it in an engine, it can move you forward”

I like this a lot

I’ve kept anger in, and know that does, indeed, make me sick

I know how to spit it out, and I’m old enough to have learned that I prefer it when that’s not what I do

But what engine?

I don’t have a clear course of action

An existing engine I can pour my grief/anger/love into

To make real change

Like, many attorneys are pouring their grief into lawsuits

I get the ACLU’s engine

But what’s mine?

Maybe mine isn’t here yet - but that feels like a cop out

The fact remains, I haven’t found an avenue

No Kings Days are wonderful, but every four months is not enough

I have a lot of love (showing up as anger) I want to act on

But it doesn’t know where to go

Thomas Hubl gave us an exercise once

Of taking anger and moving it down through your body and into the earth

At first I was like “I don’t want anger to fill my whole body”(as if it wasn’t already)

And, “I don’t want to give the earth this icky stuff”

But he continued, “when the energy goes into the earth, what comes back up from the earth is your clear yes or your clear no. The earth knows how to compost energy into truth, and gives you a foundation to move with clarity.”

I did the exercise

When the energy reached and went into the earth

Truth came back.

It actually gave me both my clear yes and my clear no.

The anger I’d been feeling was with my son’s coach

Evangelical toxic masculinity wrapped in scripture

I’d struggled with anger with him for more than a year

And the next time it came up, I did this exercise

As my anger passed all the way down my body and hit the earth,

I got a very clear, “here are my values and priorities” yes,

And a very clear, “i won’t engage with this kind of behavior” no

And was able to communicate it without anger or drama

Just with clarity

Because my anger had been turned INTO clarity

And it’s worked with other things, too

I have no idea how this applies at scale, with collective anger

But I’m curious

And I’ve decided to channel my anger into the engine of the earth

Pouring through thick roots, my anger is pulled by the branching tendrils

Effortlessly drawing energy through my body and into the earth

Offering clarity in return

Even though clear action hasn’t arisen

That’s OK. I’m filling my tank.

Engines need fuel. Fill-ups take time.

And this is an edge for me - urgency

Professional pit crews can fill an engine with gas in record time

I am not a pit crew

This is not a fine-tuned machine

I don’t know how long it will take

But I do believe that when my path becomes clear

I’ll be topped up and ready to go

Clear in my values and supported in my structure.

Next time you’re angry

I invite you to try this ‘bringing it down, through, and into the earth”

See what happens

I’d love to hear how it goes for you.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

I am stunned regularly by all the beauty in the world. The natural world, and the world of wisdom.

I bow to the many teachers pointing me towards myself, while holding the mirror of eternity

My Ministry of Stillness website has a long list of teachers I love

And there are four primary teachers whose work weaves together into the hammock I can rest into

But today, I’d like to talk about the message which resonates the clearest and is most impactful for me.

It’s the work of a channel named Paul Selig, and his “Guides” who call themselves Melchizedek

I’ve been in accord with this work for a decade as a primary influence.

It offers a certainty that the divine is in dominion -How could it not be?

We can align to it or struggle against it, we are in choice

But it behooves us to recognize that EVERYTHING is divine.

“The denial of the divine is the only challenge humanity truly faces”

God is in expression everywhere, as everything

This makes a lot of sense to me

And the truly awful stuff?

That’s a part of the divine acting in denial of the divine

Every time.

“[this] is part of love, too. It’s just the part that doesn’t know it is”

But in no way does it diminish the holiness that holds the whole

And so we can re-see, re-know, and reclaim

What has been held in shadow for generations

The process isn’t easy or clean.

But it is underway, and we are a part of it

“Transformation is impolite”

Things aren’t going to dance into place in pleasing ways because we ask nicely

Long-denied truths are coming up to be tended to

There is purpose and potential we don’t understand in every action in creation

And we can align to that. Or not.

But “What you damn, damns you back. What you bless, blesses you in return”

Let’s bless everything, shall we?

Even if we struggle with it (as you’ve been watching me do ;)

“What am I to learn?” puts you in a position of humility and authority in any instance”

And this willingness to learn naturally helps us to shed the old and become the new

Which makes perfect sense, as “the new comes at the cost of the old”

We have to be willing to give up old ideas, beliefs, and ways of doing things

Life is demanding that of us, isn’t it?

I am profoundly grateful for this orientation

As imperfectly as I live it

Every drop of alignment to it refreshes me, heart and soul

And makes me honor everything I encounter

And so I touch this bead to my lips, to my head, to my heart

And give thanks.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

I had this entirely different post written, and as I went to schedule it, Substack showed it to be the 108th post.

Happy Full Mala Day!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being with me, for reading, for caring

For holding my wobbles and my light

As I learn to do the same

For example, I thought 108 was tomorrow, and it unexpectedly showed itself to be today

In the scheme of things, this is a miscalculation I can deal with.

As I look back to the beginning of this cycle

My intention was to chronicle this experience from inside the crisis

I am still in crisis

I am still chronicling

So, I guess it’s a success

One thing this body of work has brought me

Is a trust in the flow of inspiration, even with the occasional eddy

While my situation hasn’t changed much

It has also changed a lot

The process continues to unfold

I continue to unfold

Sometimes willingly, sometimes with resistance

Because I am not an automaton

My emotional hills and valleys form a landscape that hosts an ecosystem

In deep synchronization with every other living ecosystem

Sometimes there’s flow

Sometimes there’s conflict

Both are natural and welcome

One feeds us

The other exercises us

The worldview that an ideal life has no conflict

Is a very weird construction

A setup to have us dissatisfied unnecessarily and often

I read a book called Good to Great when my oldest was in preschool

It talked about the president of a company who was so frustrated by how often his workday was plagued by interruptions

Until he realized, the interruptions were where all the juice was

It was what connected him to the living, breathing movement of his company

Gave him real data, insight into the challenges, relationships with people

The interruptions were exactly where he needed to be

To know, lead, care and create real and lasting impact

Talk about reframing!

That book let me listen to my kids 1,000 times better than I would have before reading it

Interruptions are where life happens

And so in this messy moment

I can embrace the whole of it (most of the time)

Knowing the process is ongoing

And be grateful for the care and support

Walking me home

Thank you

Deep bow.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

About 500 times in my life, I’ve started a project I thought “would be IT”

“IT” was exhausting

Many lovely things happened through these efforts

But not what I was hoping for:

A conduit through which I could contribute my gifts to the world and support myself doing so

Something sustainable that laid a foundation I could rely on

Something rooted in service and rising in love

Something every self-help or entrepreneurial guru told me I could do easily

If I just utilized their 7 point system or 12 week mastermind.

During these many years of trying to find my Ikigai

[I’m sorry I keep doing this to you.

I was a Japanese major in college.

Ikigai is “reason for being”

It’s where your passion and your talent

Meet the world’s need and willingness to pay money]

While I learned and loved and grew and adapted

I have felt my own inadequacy

As well as significant shame

For being endowed with gifts and privileges

And not finding ways to utilize them to benefit others (much less support myself)

That felt like a violation of some unseen contract I couldn’t quite decipher but was responsible to

And added a lonely, bitter flavor

To an already pungent soup.

This combination of longing and shame

Has been sitting on my shoulder since I left college and started my first nonprofit

And it is here, today, too

But today I’m meeting it differently.

Today I’m beginning something I don’t expect to be “It”

I have hope that it could lead to something that could help me build some financial scaffolding

But even the times I’ve thought

“Wow. A lot of people could really use this. This could be big”

I’ve also thought:

“Lots of things can be big and aren’t. This just needs to stay true. To my nervous system, my felt sense, and reliance on and alignment to nature”

That feels so much better

Than the painful hopefulness of my other 499 attempts

And at least 15 people told me in the last 2 weeks that I use too many big words

Maybe all of my encouraging English teachers would be proud

But, it shows I won’t appeal to everyone

And try as I may to NOT use big words

Ikigai was the right word there

Even if I had to explain it

So, I’m going forth as myself

Knowing I am not for everyone

I can’t be

And I don’t need to be

Yesterday, I passed out fliers at a protest

And someone asked why i was doing it

I said, because my practices really help me, and I have the time because I can’t find a job

She said she ran a small nonprofit theater and asked me to call her

Maybe that’ll be “It” - somewhere I can help art flourish

I have no idea

And for the first time in a long time

I’m rather glad for it.

I am learning to invite people into my world more directly. Thus, I have added this subscribe button :)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com

The Buddhist rosary is called a mala

It has 109 beads. 108 to count the repetitions of a mantra or prayer

The 109th as the “guru bead” or the one where we acknowledge and thank the one who taught us the prayer

It also lets you know when you finished the 108 mantra cycle

Very handy

The number 108 is symbolic, holding both the binary of 1 and 0 and the infinity of the number 8

October 22 will mark 108 posts—completing a full mala of Falling Gently

It feels like the end of a full cycle of small prayers

On October 23 I will start a series here on my primary teachers and why I love them

A nod to the guru bead

But I will also be starting a new mala, a new endeavor, on October 23rd

Focused on somatic attunement, nature, and exploring divinity

With a website called Grounded Wonder

And 1:1 sessions called Anam Ċara

Anam Ċara means “soul friend”

A role in the Celtic spiritual tradition

A person who offers a safe place to be, to share, to grow and let go

All in the context of the divine

This is a practice I’m launching today, actually,

Since I’ve been doing it all my life 😊

But on Thursday I’ll have the official first shared daily practice

Beginning what I hope to be a cycle of 108 daily offerings, Inshallah

[Inshallah is an Arabic phrase meaning “if God wills it”

And I realize this is starting to sound like an airport announcement and I’m sorry, this is all very important to me]

This new offering will be called “Living & Breathing In Trump’s America”

And will be a 30 minute live, shared daily practice

Anchoring us in Nature and Humanity

So we can regulate our nervous systems

As we encounter the many assaults the current administration is making on the vulnerable

It will be free the first 10 days, and Mondays will always be free

I don’t expect anyone to join, but please do if it suits you

I certainly don’t expect anyone to join every day

But I love the idea of having a live resource when you need it

This substack will continue as it has.

It means a lot to me.

I have been told it is a little too deep, and a little too lofty, for people to share readily

Which I get.

I know my writing asks something of you, and I appreciate your generosity in meeting me

These new offerings, especially the nervous system regulation related to the political moment

Feel very shareable, I think, and I hope you will

This may be more supportive of building a community of co-practitioners…

I’m very curious how all of this lands

If you have any ideas for improvement of these ideas

Or comments on my website if you have time to check it out

I need help

Focus. Distillation. Notes on clarity.

If you’ve got thoughts, I’ll take them with enthusiastic gratitude.

But, as this first mala of my public expression nears its guru bead

I thank you again

For holding my hand and heart so gently to get me here

xo

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com