Today, we crack open the family vault — and it’s messier than a soap opera written by raccoons. Listeners sent in their most unhinged family secrets, and we’re reading them loudly. Secret siblings? Check. Grandma’s second (and third) secret husband? Check. Cousins who aren’t really cousins? Oh, you know it. Tune in for the drama, stay for our absolutely unqualified advice on how to survive your next family gathering without flipping a table.

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