Famous at Home

This episode is a discussion about what we describe as the "art of becoming." Too often we get so focused on the day-to-day sleep, discipline, or behavioral issues with our kids that we lose sight of what really influences who they become.

Don't get us wrong, it's not that these day-to-day issues don't matter. However, it's easy to get so lost in the day-to-day, that we neglect who we're becoming.

In this episode, we talk about a recent research study that connected more parenting information to increased parenting anxiety and decreased self-confidence. As one article suggests, we get more anxious when we think there is one answer to our parenting problem, and we don't have it.

Our hope is that this discussion encourages you to create the spiritual and emotional environment you and your kids need to thrive.

Show Notes: 

Click here to learn more about Homegrown, to watch the video trailer (a must see!) and to receive free downloads for your kids.

Click here to purchase the new children's book, What Am I Feeling?

Articles mentioned in the podcast:

The Diabolical Genius of the Baby Advice Industry by Oliver Burkeman

Becoming Human by Jean Vanier

Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well by Joshua Straub

The Bible consistently uses botanical growth to describe our spiritual maturity and how we grow. Applied to us as parents, we want to raise children who love God and share His love with the world. But how do you prepare a spiritual seedling to become fully grown?

In this episode, we talk about our new parent Bible study that you can do with your kids to cultivate them in the fruit of the Spirit. But what does this look like, especially at a practical level?

This week, we discuss:

* What botanical growth looks like
* The necessary ingredient for the fruit of the Spirit to grow, is to die to our flesh (Gal. 5:24, John 12:24).
* Cultivating kids in the fruit of the Spirit is connected to the spiritual environment of our home
* Connection to Jesus (John 15) and a Church community is necessary and important for growth
* The practical ways you can cultivate and water your seedlings during the four key times of the day (Deut. 6:7, Proverbs 22:6).

Show Notes: 

Click here to learn more about Homegrown, to watch the video trailer (a must see!) and to receive free downloads for your kids.

Click here to purchase the new children's book, What Am I Feeling?

We also talked about the following books in this episode:

Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well.

Faith of the Fatherless by Paul Vitz

Our 100th episode! And what better way to celebrate than talking with two amazing humans--Ryan and Laura Dobson--about being emotionally healthy for your family.

This is arguably our most raw and vulnerable episode to date. We talk with Ryan and Laura about mental illness, addictions, pornography, and other self-medicators. Even more, we talk about grace and the path to healing. No matter your family history or past mistakes, you have a story you get to live--a story that's being passed on from one generation to the next.

Our discussion is all about how we can engage a path of healing and become emotionally healthy for our spouse and kids. Feel like you're messing up a lot? You're not alone. In this episode, you will find grace and a few next steps.

Show Notes: 

Our next Emotionally Safe Marriage Coaching Group begins April 15, 2019. Click here to learn more. Spaces are limited.



Check out Ryan and Laura's Podcast Rebel Parenting by clicking here. 

Check out Winshape Marriage Intensives by clicking here.

To learn more about Onsite Workshops, click here.

In this episode, we take your questions and talk about them. This week's questions include the following topics:

* What educational apps we would recommend
* How to handle a co-parenting situation where you have no control with what's happening in the other home
* How to help our kids with bad dreams and night terrors
* How to further talk to your kids about Santa, Easter bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.
* Managing a child who craves being social more than we have the energy for

The Questions: 

* I am a first grade teacher in public school. I often get asked about educational apps that I would recommend. Knowing what you know about screen time, what is your opinion about using a tablet for educational purposes?
* I'm a stepmom of three children who live with their mom 70% of the time. My husband and I do plan to fight for more custody this year. My question relates to how to co-parent with someone who is working from a different worldview. Their mom is more focused on herself and her life than the kids. She frequently leaves them home by themselves (ages 13, 10, and 8) until midnight or later while she is out at the bar. She has had a live-in boyfriend and other boyfriends that are a part of their daily life (most of these men also have kids who come around). They do not have consistency or security with their mom. We have had the kids in counseling for almost a year and even the counselor said it's a struggle when we can only be consistent with them when we have them 30% of the time. On top of that, I'm the stepparent so I have little influence/say over any interactions with their mom. I have a great deal of frustrations/concerns/questions surrounding this topic and i am trying to keep this brief. --Jamie
* I listened to your podcast regarding the holiday season. I loved it. My husband and I LOVE that you say "Santa is pretend and we pretend in this house." I know you had said that you just make that blanket statement and move on. We are struggling when our 4 year old daughter wants to know more and more about Santa. Last night when we were talking to her at bed time she was asking questions like, "Does Santa sleep in a bed?", "Where does Santa eat?", "How does Santa get everywhere?" So, even though she didn't say, "Is Santa real?", we did say, "He sleeps in a pretend bed. He eats pretend food."...etc. Do you have other suggestions? To be honest, she doesn't like the idea of Santa. She doesn't like that he goes into people's houses and she's scared of him when she sees him at a mall or anything. So last year Santa "delivered on our porch"...but even with that she woke up a few times that night and nights leading up to it and said, "Are you sure he's not going to come in our house?" Also, do you tell your kids to NOT tell other kids about him being pretend? --Amber
* What is your advice for providing opportunities for a child who enjoys/thrives on being social, around people way more than I have energy for? My husband and are social people--he even more than me and we feel like we provide plenty of social opportunities, yet it never seems to be enough from her perspective. She loves serving/helping so we have involved her in some (though limited) of those activities. When as parents do you draw the line?
* How to handle bad dreams and night terrors in young kids? How much is a spiritual battle vs normal growing up? This is something my daughter is going through right now. It was really hard the first few times. Any advice? --Bekah

Show Notes:

"Mom, who sang the first song?" When Ellie Holcomb's then five-year-old daughter, Emmylou, asked her this question, Ellie threw the question back at her. "Well, who do you think sang the first song?" Emmylou's answer is priceless. Yes, you have to listen to find out.

But as Ellie thought about it, she had to do some research. Her answers were put into her first children's book called Who Sang the First Song?  In this episode, we go behind the scenes of this incredible story and what it means that God created each of us with a song to sing.

Applied to the family, we talk about the "rhythms" God calls us to. With three children, ages six and under, Ellie and her husband, Drew, have some very practical ways they create rhythm for their family. This is an episode you won't want to miss.

Show Notes: 

To download Sing: Creation Songs by Ellie Holcomb, click here.

To purchase Ellie's children's book, Who Sang the First Song, click here.



Start feeling better today by ordering What Am I Feeling? Click here to order.

In this episode, we take your questions and talk about them. This week's questions include the following topics:

* How to thrive in the survival years with young kids
* Should we send our kids to kindergarten early or hold them back
* How to manage our own anger and fear so as not to yell at our kids
* How to be emotionally safe in the early years
* The stage we set up for our kids in our dining room

The Questions: 

* Hi! Absolutely love your podcast and have been a fan since episode one. Could you please post a picture of your living room concert stage? I love the idea behind this simple yet impactful and intentional choice you’ve made in making family memories come to life! God bless! --Suzanna
* I absolutely love your podcast and Safe House book! It's completely changed how I view parenting, as I did not grow up in an emotionally safe home. I struggle with control and anger that leads to yelling at my child. How can I safely teach my toddler that she needs to obey her parents without yelling or threatening? - Ashley
* Can you please talk about leading your family well in the survival years? We have a 3.5 year old boy and one year old boy. Thank you. - Mandy
* I would love some insight in delaying kindergarten. My son (my first born) will turn 5 on June 9th. I never really thought much about delaying kindergarten, and always just knew we would wait and make the assessment towards the end of his PK year to see if he was ready. My husband feels pretty strongly now about delaying it no matter what to help him in the future. There is just something about it that doesn't feel right to me, but my husband is pretty confident in delaying and I don't want to push and regret it later down the line in middle school when it seems the age difference really starts to become an issue. I would greatly appreciate and respect your thoughts. - Michelle

Show Notes: 


Start feeling better today by ordering What Am I Feeling? Click here to order.

You can also click here to learn about Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well.

 

 

 

 

Images of homemade stage outside and inside the house.

In part 2 of our series on kids and feelings, we talk about kids who can empathize with others. This episode is a deeper dive into the "why" behind our new kid's book What Am I Feeling?

So often, it can feel like a pipe dream getting our kids to think about anyone other than themselves. Let's be honest, our world could use more adults who can empathize as well. In this episode, we talk about being teachable, responding to others in empathy, and how our kids mirror our emotions. We also discuss how fear and busyness become barriers to entering our child's world and helping her label her feelings.

Show Notes: 



Start feeling better today by ordering What Am I Feeling? Click here to order.

You can also click here to learn about Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well.

For a link to the Google study mentioned in the podcast, click here.

Teaching our kids to give their feeling a name and then decide what to do with it—is crucial to helping them love God and love others. Turns out, it's also helpful for juvenile delinquents to develop empathy, and for our kids to one day be successful at major companies like Google.

In this episode, we talk about these scenarios and why developing emotional awareness is so important for our kids. As it relates to spiritual growth, this is also where emotional and spiritual maturity go hand-in-hand: the lived out fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:23).

But it all starts with us as parents. Being emotionally safe with our kids provides calm to the fear center of their brain. The calmer our kids are in emotionally overwhelming situations, the more likely they are to think straight and make wise decisions.

And that’s our privilege as parents—to help our kids learn to name their feeling, make good decisions with that emotion, and begin to think about others. That's what this episode is all about.

Show Notes: 



Start feeling better today by ordering What Am I Feeling? Click here to order.

You can also click here to learn about Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well.

For a link to the Google study mentioned in the podcast, click here.

For more insights into the circle of security, click here.

For John Bradshaw's book Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, click here.

Sometimes, a few nuggets of wisdom just isn't enough. In this episode, we discuss some of the deeper reasons behind why it's so difficult to connect in marriage.

We also talk about our own marital journey of late and how counseling has helped us work through the baggage, blindness, and busyness of the day. Yes, three "bee's" that can "sting" your marriage. Dad jokes rock.

Of course, the conversation includes practical ways we can connect at a deeper, more intimate level with our spouse.

Show Notes: 

To learn more about Winshape Marriage Intensives and Adventures, click here. 

To learn more about marriage coaching intensives we offer, or to set up a discovery call, click here.

We live in a beautifully diverse world. Unfortunately, our world is also plagued by racial and ethnic division.

As families, we can bring unity and change by embracing our differences. But it requires that we pass onto our kids what it means to walk in love, not fear—a lesson that's easier said, than done.

In this episode, author Trillia Newbell, sits down with us to discuss:

* How to talk to our kids about families who look different from ours
* Whether or not we should raise our kids to be "color blind"
* What it looks like for us as adults to model unity and love in our home
* How we should talk to our kids about the history of racial tensions
* And most importantly, how the gospel transcends racial and ethnic differences

Show Notes:

Trillia Newbell is the author of If God is For Me, a 6-week Bible study on Romans 8 (2019), Enjoy: Finding the Freedom to Delight Daily in God's Good Gifts (2016), Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves (2015), United: Captured by God's Vision for Diversity (2014), and a children’s book, God’s Very Good Idea: A True Story of God’s Delightfully Different Family. You can find her at trillianewbell.com and follow her on twitter at @trillianewbell.

Bring the 2019 Parent's Summit to your church via simulcast! Click here to learn more.