Famous at Home

In this episode, we once again discuss your questions. In particular, this week's discussion points include:

* Marriage books to read for non-Christians
* Ways to get your spouse to increase more time together and get in sync
* Next steps for rebuilding your marriage after it fell apart
* How to help our kids navigate adults who lack emotional intelligence / awareness
* Whether your child's enneagram type influences how we discipline and disciple them

The Questions: 

* From Emily: I really like your podcast and have been feeling this urge to put my husband and I more in sync. He thinks we are great and perfect and that you shouldn't mess with something that's not broken. And we are really great most of the time, but I want more. I want us to be "in this together" more. He is fine with watching TV together at night and calling that quality time, however, we don't say any words to each other. I told him that for my birthday, which is at the end of this month, I want his time. I want to read a book together or something and grow our marriage. I think he would rather spend a $1000 on me than read/discuss a book! lol! A little background: he is not spiritual at all, and I don't know if I am a believer these days either. We both grew up Christian. He is very scientific and logical and seems to disprove a lot of the Bible. And when he talks, it makes sense. So y'all talked about Fierce Marriage on your podcast and I thought about reading this together, but I CAN NOT push religion on him or he will check out. I am on the fence about Jesus, but he isn't. So my question is, what book do you suggest we read together to strengthen our marriage and make it even better without pushing religion on my husband too much? Thank y'all! And thank you for being so REAL about marriage and life!
* From Brooke: My husband and I are struggling with how to parent our kids through interactions with adults who lack emotional intelligence/awareness. Would you guys talk about that? We do feelings in our home, and we expect emotional honesty. However, grandparents and teachers don’t always deal with things the same way. How do we teach our kids to honor emotion and respect authority?
* When trying to rebuild your marriage, how do you heal past hurts and move forward when you each speak a different love language and one seems to take the other for granted, but we didn’t know until it fell apart?
* Could you discuss how knowing your child’s enneagram type can help guide the approach used in discipling your child?

Show Notes: 

To learn more about or to purchase The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, click here.

Marriage books not from Christian perspective:

To learn more about or to purchase Feeling Good Together, by David Burns, click here.

To learn more about or to purchase The 7 Principles to Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman, click here.

Marriage books from Christian perspective:

Sex is the elephant in the room. At some point, every spouse feels the unspoken tension. For many marriages, the elephant grows bigger after our kids enter the family.

In this episode, we call out the elephant in the room and provide ways you and your spouse can begin talking about sex with one another in an emotionally safe way. We talk about:

* Why sex is so difficult to talk about in the first place
* How to communicate about sex if past trauma is influencing physical intimacy in your marriage
* What to do if only one spouse is interested in talking about sex
* How husbands need to approach the conversation
* Helpful ways for wives to approach the conversation
* Why the word "duty" should be banished from the conversation altogether
* Practical ways to talk about sex in an emotionally safe way

Show Notes: 

To learn more about marriage coaching, or to set up a free discovery call, click here.

To learn more about Onsite Workshops, click here.

To learn more about Winshape Marriage Intensives, click here.

To find a counselor in your local area, click one of the following:

Focus on the Family Network

Thriveworks Network 

Psychology Today

Having an emotionally safe marriage doesn't just happen. The way we listen to and communicate with our spouse makes all the difference. But doing so takes practice--and the willingness to be empathetic.

In this second episode of our two part series, we talk about the building blocks to having an emotionally safe marriage. In particular, we talk about:

* What it means to be empathetic with our spouse
* Why labeling emotions makes a difference
* A simple way of communicating for deeper connection
* Practical strategies you can implement today

Show Notes: 

To learn more about marriage coaching, or to set up a free discovery call, click here.

To learn more about or to purchase Feeling Good Together, by David Burns, click here.

For the blogpost, How 15 Minutes is Changing my Marriage, click here.

So often, couples tell us that communication is their greatest problem. But more than communication, empathy for what's going on within your spouse's heart is even more crucial to connection and intimacy. In fact, our willingness to genuinely show care and concern for our spouse's feelings is where great communication begins.

In this episode, we talk about what it takes to have an emotionally safe marriage. In particular, we talk about:

* What it means to be "emotionally safe"
* What hinders us from being emotionally safe for our spouse
* The three decisions you need to make for an emotionally safe marriage
* Why blame is the greatest barrier to change

Show Notes: 

To learn more about marriage coaching, or to set up a free discovery call, click here.

To learn more about or to purchase Feeling Good Together, by David Burns, click here.

For the blogpost, How 15 Minutes is Changing my Marriage, click here.

Have you ever been curious about your own family lineage? The marriage that happened you didn't know about? The hobbies passed down through the generations? Or maybe even the relational dynamics that led to addiction?

Or what about the reasons you parent the way you do? Why you treat your spouse the way you do?

Genograms can reveal so much about our family history. In this episode, we talk about genograms and how they can help us discover more of who we are and where we come from. We also discuss practical ways we can learn from our family history to stop negative generational patterns and embrace the positive ones.

Show Notes: 

Click here to purchase What Am I Feeling? 

To learn more about genograms or how to create one, click here to download the necessary charts. *Note: You don't need to buy the software on this site.

If you'd like to create your own genogram with a third party, you can check out our coaching services by clicking here and setting up a free discovery call. 

Gain insight into two husbands and dads building their family teams. That's what this episode is all about. Josh interviews Jeff Bethke about the state of the American family, how it stands in contrast to biblical fatherhood, and the practical ways we can build a family team.

Specifically, we talk about:

* What Abraham might be looking for in a dad today and why.
* The biblical foundation and mission of family versus how we actually function in the Western world
* The intentional steps you can take right now to lead your marriage and family on purpose, not by accident
* What a multigenerational family team on mission looks like
* How Jeff and his wife Alyssa manage and thrive on social media as a family on mission

Show Notes: 

Click here to visit www.familyteams.com to learn more and follow Jeff's podcasts. 

You can learn more about and follow Jeff and Alyssa's podcast by clicking here.

To purchase What Am I Feeling?, click here.

We love getting your questions and discussing the topics dear to your heart. In this week's episode, we discuss the following topics and questions:

* Kids should be allowed to feel anger, but should we allow our kids to stomp off in their anger? It feels like such a fine line to walk.
* When our children don't transition well, or don't want to transition well, from one activity or event to another, what do I do?
* As a single mom, how do I compensate for my children not having a father?
* I'm emotionally safe for my kids, but my husband is not. Are there extra things I can do?
* I'm a foster mom and our kids are transitioning back to their parents. How can I prepare them?

The Questions: 

I have a 4-year-old little girl and 1-year-old twins. I can't wait to get your feelings book. Something you guys mentioned in your Kids Who Can Empathize episode was that we should allow our kids to feel that anger. I think you mentioned allowing your kids to stomp. This may be a ridiculous question, but is stomping always acceptable? My daughter got upset that I didn't give her way about something and she stomped off to her room. Is this considered disrespectful? Or should it be allowed because she's expressing I upset her by not giving her what she wanted? I feel like it's a fine line. How do we teach them when it's acceptable?  --Jourdan

My husband and I have two boys three and six. My husband is transitioning into a new career which has led him yet again to a new schedule. I own a business and work full-time. Our children attend to a private Christian school and are surrounded by a wonderful tribe. My question is an ongoing issue of our eldest son. He is full of life and energy as little boy should be. We struggle with listening and follow through. He does not like transitions at all. He will do anything he can to make sure that we are late. We have tried rewards. We have tried talking about respect and loving. I know that this issue hits a trigger for me because as a child my mother was always late and therefore as an adult I am always early. Each day throughout the day it is a struggle getting up transitioning to breakfast transitioning to backpacks transitioning to getting dressed or getting out the door. Even leaving school we have to go and say goodbye to all of the teachers. And then, when we get home, transitioning into the next thing. I’m not sure where he is coming from and in our conversations his answer is I just want to play mommy. We spent most of our time at home cooking together, doing Legos together, or art, or whatever they want to do. I am a hands-on mother who just wants to help my kiddo. This one just hits the right spot since it affects everyone in the family as well as others around us. --Kristin

I just listened to the two podcasts on raising boys and girls, by David Thomas and Sissy Goff, respectively. They were really insightful and helpful for me, especially the one with David regarding boys. I know the father's role was mentioned in those podcasts, and I wondered if they, or you, have any advice for single parents. I am a single mom, and my kids' father is not involved. They haven't even seen him in four years. I have a son, 7 and a daughter, 4. I so appreciated the podcasts and even bought the book by David Thomas but honestly, I am feeling so overwhelmed and kind of anxious right now. Any special words for single parents? --Jenn

You talk about how emotional safety of parents is the key of raising children. I couldn't agree more and am so willing to change things in my life to become more emotionally safe. I'm ordering your book Safe House...

We all seek to find our life purpose. But have you ever thought about your marital purpose? The purpose God has for your marriage? He has one for you--but it may not be for what you think.

In this episode, we talk with Ryan and Selena Frederick from Fierce Marriage about how your marriage is designed to bring God glory. But what does that mean? And how can we do that, especially in an age of confusion?

Ryan and Selena break down what it means to be transparent in marriage and cover such topics as:

* Exposing ourselves to meaningful risk
* How to have a "see through" mentality
* What it means to be vulnerable with one another
* Why self-discovery is crucial for transparency
* To be "unoffendable"

Show Notes: 

To order Ryan and Selena's book, Fierce Marriage, click here. 

To subscribe or listen to The Fierce Marriage Podcast, click here. 

Sponsor: For FREE downloadable lunch notes and games, or to order Homegrown: Cultivating Kids in the Fruit of the Spirit, click here.

Sex is our most requested topic lately for the podcast. And the types of questions we receive about sex reveal the power it holds in how well--or not--we connect with our spouse.

In this episode, Ryan and Laura Dobson join us to talk about the joys and difficulties of sex in marriage.

We discuss:

* How to begin talking about sex in your marriage
* The power sex has on how well we feel emotionally connected
* How to discuss and overcome past hurts to rediscover--or maybe discover for the first time--an enjoyable sex life
* Sexual satisfaction and the early years of parenting
* What porn does to marital intimacy and some ways to get through it
* The spiritual significance of sex in marriage

Show Notes:

To learn more about marriage or family coaching with the Straubs, click here. 

To find a Christian counselor in your local area, click here. 

To find a counselor in your local area, click here.

To listen to REBEL Parenting Podcast with Ryan and Laura Dobson, click here. 

Feeling exhausted, or simply tired of going through the motions? The modern world is a machine of a thousand invisible habits, forming us into anxious, busy, and depressed people. The trouble is that our habits are almost invisible to us. In fact, habits form us more than we form them. So what can we do about it?

Welcome to The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose in an Age of Distraction. In this week's episode, we interview Justin Whitmel Earley, a mergers and acquisitions lawyer who nearly crashed and burned in his own panicked lifestyle. As a husband and father to four young boys, Justin knew he needed help.

In what turned out to be a fateful moment of self-discovery, Justin's compelling story led him to create The Common Rule, four doable daily and four weekly habits designed to help us create new routines and transform frazzled days into lives of love for God and neighbor.

Looking for a doable routine for your family that leads to freedom and rest for your soul? This episode is for you.

Show Notes: 

To purchase The Common Rule, or to learn more, click here. 

To purchase What Am I Feeling? or to learn more, click here.