Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Today we review a growing trend of adults choosing to go "no contact" with their parents. Dr. Ken reviews the kind of circumstances that do call on people to put strict boundaries around their contact with parents and other family members. This new trend however, seems to stem from a growing number of therapists that have over-defined trauma and therefore recommend that their clients eliminate any person that they no longer find "supportive."

Today's episode stems from the New Yorker article of the same name - https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-inquiry/why-so-many-people-are-going-no-contact-with-their-parents

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You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

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Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today we revisit the topic of sex and dating. How should parents talk about it with their teenagers? What if my teen doesn't seem to have any interest in these sorts of issues? Is it a good idea to get your kid on birth control? Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about all this and more.

Dr. Ken references the book "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" by Louise Perry - https://a.co/d/evvl3pc

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You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

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Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Recent headlines tell us about a rise in teen boys being lured into sending explicit photos and then blackmailed for money to avoid these being published on the web. Some of these cases have resulted in suicide and the FBI has sent out warnings to parents. Of course, exploitation through explicit photos is nothing new to teen girls as well. How are parents to respond to these threats? Jessica and Dr. Ken approach these issues as an opportunity for real dialogue and not another occasion for fear. Open conversation about online threats are particularly important for parents of teenagers that may appear to be innocent of any sexual interest. Adolescents need to be prepared for online threats not just protected. We cover all this and more.

Dr. Ken references the resource, "Take It Down" to help fight online publishing of explicit photos: https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today Dr. Ken and Jessica discuss all things addiction related. More parents worry about addiction in their kids. Is this awareness a good thing? What is the value in classifying certain problems as "an addiction"? What can parents do when they worry their teen is addicted to alcohol, drugs or anything else? What about adolescents who have a parent who is an addict?

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today we finish our series on limit-setting with teens by covering common, miscellaneous issues. These are the things that often come up like, what to do about lying, is there a maximum effective time limit to grounding, or how to best limit disrespect. What about those teenagers that continually harass parents until they give in? As usual Jessica and Dr. Ken focus on being effective in limiting inappropriate or dangerous behavior while maintaining a path toward age-appropriate independence.

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You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

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Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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It's not uncommon for parents to have differences in what they prioritize and the ways they implement limits with their teenagers. It is essential however, that parents do all they can to overcome these differences and present a unified message to their teens. This is important not just for your marriage but for your effectiveness with your adolescents. When you as a parent have different limits from their other parent, teenagers don't "secretly realize" that you're the right parent, they just think both parents are nuts. Jessica and Dr. Ken discuss ways to overcome these differences and how to talk about them effectively with your spouse. We also cover the difficult task of dealing with an ex-spouse who has greatly different expectations as well.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

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Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today we continue with our series on effective limit-setting with adolescents. Some parents think when they lose their temper with teenagers they "hate to do it" but it "needed to happen." Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about how yelling only confirms a teenager's suspicion in the first place... that you're a bully not really a parent. Instead we talk about ways to avoid losing your temper and what to do if you still occasionally get pretty angry with your teenager.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today we continue with issues related to limit-setting with teenagers. As tempting as it is, making speeches is very ineffective in influencing adolescent behavior. Teenagers need to experience the consequences of their choices, either natural or through parent consequences. Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about both of their own struggles to avoid this trap and the situations that tempt parents to pontificate instead of act. We offer suggestions to increase your adolescent's learning experiences while reserving words for the most useful opportunities.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Today is the first in a series on limit-setting with adolescents. Probably the most important change a parent can make in being more effective in setting limits with teenagers is to shift your job description from a "cop" to a judge. Understanding what you as a parent can and cannot control makes a huge difference in how and when you set limits for your teen. When your teen is being most defiant, always remember the power of "the smile."

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com
* Check out Quince and use my code FEEDING for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


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