Fertility Cafe

A note for listeners: this episode includes frank discussion of pregnancy loss, a selective reduction, and the death of an infant.

What does surrogacy look like across ten years, three journeys, and outcomes nobody plans for?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Jessica, a three-time gestational surrogate and mother of four whose first journey began about ten years ago, before much of the regulation that exists today. She was introduced to surrogacy through family, met her first intended parents within an hour of the first phone call, and said yes before she fully understood what she was agreeing to.

This conversation covers a first journey that took five transfers, a pregnancy the clinic misread, a decision that was not hers to make, and a delivery she drove herself to while in labor. It covers what happened to that relationship afterward, and what she learned years later about that family. Her second journey was, in her words, the way a surrogacy journey should go. Her third brought her back into the industry through a job interview that turned out to be something else, an agency she walked away from, and twin girls born early in a hospital that did not yet have her paperwork. It also brought a loss she is still working through.

Jessica does not tidy any of it up. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want the version nobody puts in a brochure, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"I don’t sugarcoat things. It’s not who I am." -- Jessica

What You’ll Learn

Guest Bio

Jessica is a three-time gestational surrogate and mother of four who began her first journey roughly ten years ago and has since carried for three different families across two countries. Her journeys have included repeated failed transfers, decisions she did not want to make, relationships that ended badly and relationships that lasted, and loss. She speaks about all of it without softening it, because she believes the sanitized version of surrogacy does prospective surrogates no favors.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what can go wrong, why the safeguards exist, and what she would do differently.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

When Third-Party Goes Wrong

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-45-when-third-party-goes-wrong/

The Dark Side of Surrogacy & Egg Donation

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-68-dark-side-of-surrogacy-egg-donation/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What happens when agency after agency turns you down, and you keep going anyway?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Rachel, who delivered twins in 2015 after being matched three times and declined by several agencies before that. Her answers to the termination and selective reduction questions on the applications were the reason for the automatic denials, and it took another agency telling her so before she understood why. She and Eloise have known each other for more than a decade, and this conversation covers ground the two of them have been over privately for years.

Rachel walks through the first match that ended in a miscarriage and a couple who could not afford to continue, the second that ended before it began, and the third, a local couple who had been trying for roughly eight years. She talks about the awkward first dinner, the beta number so high she asked how many were in there, the New Year’s Day bleed that turned out not to be what she feared, and a delivery where the placentas would not detach. Afterward: a doctor who told her he would never clear her to carry again, a two-week checkup where she insisted something was wrong and was told she was missing the babies, a hemorrhage on her husband’s birthday, and a hysterectomy a year later. She is also candid about the one thing she would change, which is not the journey but the contract.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear the whole arc, including the parts that come long after the babies go home, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"I didn’t give the baby away. They weren’t mine." -- Rachel

What You’ll Learn

Guest Bio

Rachel is a gestational surrogate and mother of two daughters who carried twins for a local couple through Family Inceptions, delivering in 2015 after two earlier matches ended without a baby. Her delivery and the months that followed brought complications that ultimately ended her ability to carry again. She talks about all of it openly, including what she would negotiate differently, because she wants women considering surrogacy to understand the full arc rather than only the delivery room.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what can go wrong, what protections to ask for, and what the relationship can look like a decade later.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

@rachelraymondrealtor

Related Episodes

Self-Advocacy and Third-Party Reproduction: Your Voice Matters

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-84-self-advocacy-and-third-party-reproduction-your-voice-matters/

Surrogacy and Egg Donor Insurance: Complete Guide to Coverage and Protection

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-122-surrogacy-and-egg-donor-insurance-complete-guide-to-coverage/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What if the thing that decided your agency was not the compensation or the process, but who got to do the choosing?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Sydni, a single mom of two girls and a daycare center director in Alabama. The idea came to her during a fasting season at her church, when she went in asking what more she was supposed to be doing with her life. She sat with it for three days, then started researching, filling a notebook with every question she could think of before she ever spoke to an agency.

This conversation covers what she found when she called around. The agencies near her told her that her profile would go out and someone would let her know when a couple picked her, and that did not sit right with her. She wanted to be part of that decision. She also noticed which questionnaires got an instant reply and which one took a few days and came back personalized. Sydni talks about the second profile she opened, the letter inside it that brought her to tears, and a first transfer that worked. Then the birth: a March snowstorm in Alabama, tornado warnings where her intended parents live, an intended mother with thirteen backup travel plans, and Sydni sitting in triage taking pictures and joking around at five centimeters dilated. Only one person was allowed in the operating room, and she gave that spot to the baby’s mother instead of her own sister.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what to ask an agency before you commit to one, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"There is not a compensation that can cover what you are putting your body through." -- Sydni

What You’ll Learn

● How the idea first came to her, and why she waited three days before saying yes

● What her thirteen-year-old already knew about surrogacy, and where she learned it

● How she explained it to a five-year-old, who became her loudest supporter

● The question she asked every agency, and the answer that ruled several out

● What a fast questionnaire response told her, and what a slow one told her

● Why she chose an agency rather than going independent

Guest Bio

Sydni is a gestational surrogate, a single mother of two daughters, and a daycare center director in Alabama. She carried and delivered a baby for intended parents she chose herself after reading their letter of intent, and the two families remain close. She is candid about what surrogacy asked of her as a working single parent, about what she looked for in an agency before she trusted one, and about the additional considerations she weighed as a Black woman choosing to carry a pregnancy for someone else.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to know what to look for, and what to ask, before choosing who to do it with.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/

Eggs Over Easy: Black Women & Fertility

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-34-eggs-over-easy-black-women-fertility

Surrogate Stories: Two Moms Carrying for Two Moms

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-two-moms-carrying-for-two-moms/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What happens when what a surrogate wants for a birth and what the intended parents need are not the same thing?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Gabby. She and her wife have been together seventeen years and have two sons, one carried by each of them. When they decided their own family was complete, they set a calendar reminder for a year out to be sure, and when it went off they both said the same thing. Gabby went on to carry for two intended mothers in another state, and got pregnant on the first attempt.

This conversation covers a match call that felt like first date jitters and ended with both couples saying yes before anyone hung up. It covers the contract clause Gabby questioned and then accepted once she understood the fear behind it, the twenty-week scare where her wife told her plainly that this was not her baby to make decisions about, and the hardest disagreement of the journey: Gabby wanted an unmedicated birth, her OB recommended an induction that was not strictly necessary, and the intended mothers were desperate to control what could be controlled. She talks about how they worked through it, what happened in the delivery room that she did not expect, and the request the family made of her on Mother’s Day.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what it really means to carry someone else’s child and someone else’s decisions, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"I’m more proud of being a surrogate than anything else in my life." -- Gabby

What You’ll Learn

● How she and her wife each carried one of their own sons before she became a surrogate

● The calendar reminder they set to decide whether their family was complete

● How knowing three surrogates from her high school class shaped her agency choice

● Why she wanted the screening process to be as thorough as it was

● What she was looking for in intended parents, and what she was not

● Why both sides said yes on the match call without sleeping on it

Guest Bio

Gabby is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two sons, one of whom she carried and one carried by her wife. She delivered a baby girl for two intended mothers in another state and is now the child’s godmother. She talks openly about the sacrifices a surrogacy journey asks of a whole family and about the moments where she had to set aside what she wanted, because she believes the honest version of this does more good than the version people see in the news.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand the decisions, the compromises, and the relationships that a journey actually involves.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

Body Autonomy For Surrogates and Egg Donors

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-43-body-autonomy-for-surrogates-and-egg-donors/

Bringing Equality to Reproduction

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-99-bringing-equality-to-reproduction

Surrogate Stories: What Postpartum Feelis Like Without a Baby

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-what-postpartum-feels-like-without-a-baby/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What do you do when a surrogacy journey ends before it starts, and you decide to try again anyway?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Christina, a gestational surrogate and mother of two who came to surrogacy as a calling after foster care and adoption did not feel like the right path for her family. She expected her husband to need convincing. He said yes immediately.

This conversation covers her first match, which ended after a chemical pregnancy, and how she processed grieving a loss that was not hers to grieve while talking herself out of blaming herself for it. It covers the phone call where she was crying to her agent about her doubts when the profile of her eventual intended parents landed on that agent’s desk. She talks about doing the extra legwork to help reserved intended parents feel included, choosing an epidural so she would not shut them out of their own child’s birth, and the postpartum surprise nobody warned her about: a body running on adrenaline for a newborn who was not there. She is now preparing for a fourth transfer, a sibling journey for the same family.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear how a journey can go sideways and still be worth it, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"Go in hopeful, but go in with hands wide open." -- Christina

What You’ll Learn

● Why surrogacy became the path when foster care and adoption did not feel right

● How her husband responded, and why it surprised her

● Why shared beliefs were non-negotiable in a match, and how that narrowed the search

● What a chemical pregnancy looked like across three sets of beta results

● What it is like to grieve a loss that belongs to someone else

● How her first match ended, and what she wishes she had been prepared for

Guest Bio

Christina is a gestational surrogate and mother of two who first heard about surrogacy in 2020 and pursued it once her own family felt complete. Her first match ended after a chemical pregnancy. Her second, through Family Inceptions, ended with a healthy baby boy and a family

she has stayed close to since. She is now preparing for a sibling journey for the same intended parents. She speaks openly about the losses, the recovery, and the mindset she leaned on, because she believes the stories that go well rarely get told.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of a journey that included loss, a broken match, and a family built at the end of it.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

What Surrogacy Really Feels Like: A Candid Conversation

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-surrogacy-really-feels-like-a-candid-conversation/

Mental Health & Family Building with Lori Metz, LCSW

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-44-mental-health-family-building-with-lori-metz-lcsw

Surrogate Series: Two Journeys, One family

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-two-journeys-one-family/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What does a surrogacy journey actually look like from the surrogate’s side, including the parts nobody warns you about?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Ashley, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both babies for the same family through Family Inceptions. Ashley walks through all of it: why she chose surrogacy, the agency that made her feel like a number, the couple who flew to Charleston just to have lunch with her, and the pregnancies that made her sicker than she has ever been in her life.

This conversation covers what drew Ashley to surrogacy after her own family was complete, why she left one agency before finding the right one, what matching and screening actually involved, and how she got through hyperemesis in both pregnancies. She also talks about the things surrogates rarely say out loud: a panic attack on the operating table, postpartum depression that did not hit until six weeks out, and what going home to an empty house felt like when the family flew back to London.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account from someone who has done it twice, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"Surrogacy is not scary. Surrogacy is amazing." -- Ashley

What You’ll Learn

● Why Ashley chose surrogacy after deciding she was done growing her own family

● What made her walk away from a large agency before her journey ever started

● What matching actually involved, from the intro video to the first video call

● What the screening process looked like and how much an advocate handles for you

● What hyperemesis was like in both pregnancies and what did not work to treat it

● Why she decided mid-C-section that she would do it all over again

Guest Bio

Ashley is a two-time gestational surrogate who carried both of her surrogate babies for the same intended parents through Family Inceptions. She lives in the Charleston area with her husband and their three children, works remotely full time, and remains close with the family she carried for. She speaks openly about the physical and emotional realities of surrogacy so that other women can make informed decisions before they begin.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a full, first-hand account from someone who has been through two journeys and stayed close with the family she helped build.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Surrogate

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/what-i-wish-i-knew-before-becoming-a-surrogate/

How To Talk To Your Family, Friends & Employer About Becoming a Surrogate

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-90-how-to-talk-to-your-family-friends-employer-about-becoming-a-surrogate/

Surrogate Stories: A loss, a Rematch, and a Fresh Start

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-a-loss-a-rematch-and-a-fresh-start/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What does it take to stay in a surrogacy journey when almost none of it goes the way you pictured?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Taylor, a wife, a mom of two, and a gestational surrogate who has now matched with three different families. She wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family, so she went looking for an agency founded by a Black woman, typed exactly that into Google, and found Family Inceptions on the first try.

This conversation covers all of it. Her first journey with international intended parents, the failed first transfer that became her first experience of loss, and the decision to go again with the same couple, which ended in a healthy baby and an intended father the hotel staff had to wake up to get him to the delivery room. Her second journey, which ended before it began when the transfer did not take and the couple could not continue. The rematch that followed, and the couple she is with now, close to her and her husband in age, who want a relationship that lasts. Taylor is also blunt about compensation, about what she says to women who tell her they would do it for the money, and about what it has meant to her to be a Black woman going through this process.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what it takes to keep going when a journey does not go to plan, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"It is the most challenging yet most rewarding experience I think you’ll ever have." -- Taylor

What You’ll Learn

● Why she wanted to be pregnant again without adding to her own family

● Why she searched specifically for an agency founded by a Black woman

● How she explained surrogacy to a husband who did not know how it worked

● What her parents said, and what changed her mother’s mind in the delivery room

● What a failed first transfer felt like, and why she blamed herself at first

● Why she chose to go again with the same couple after the loss

Guest Bio

Taylor is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two who applied to become a surrogate in 2020 at twenty-seven. She carried and delivered a baby for her first intended parents, navigated a loss and a rematch on her second journey, and is now beginning again with a couple she and her husband feel especially connected to. She shares her journeys publicly in part because she

wants other Black women considering surrogacy to see that it can go well. Outside of surrogacy she is usually found with a crochet project in her hands.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want an honest account of what happens when a journey takes turns nobody planned for.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

The Nitty Gritty of Compensation in Third-Party Reproduction

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-77-nitty-gritty-of-compensation-in-3rd-party-reproduction/

A Spouse’s Perspective on His Wife Becoming a Surrogate

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-12-a-spouses-perspective-on-his-wife-becoming-a-surrogate/

Surrogate Stories: She Gave Two Families Their Second Child

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/surrogate-stories-she-gave-two-families-their-second-child/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What does surrogacy look like when everything actually goes the way it should?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Amy, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried for two different families through Family Inceptions. Amy works in healthcare, where colleagues talked openly about infertility long before she ever considered surrogacy herself. She and her husband are foster parents. She has four children of her own. Both times she carried, she delivered a family their second child, which she describes as giving them a sibling as much as a baby.

This conversation covers the years Amy spent thinking about surrogacy before she acted on it, the children’s book that made her intended mother feel the match was meant to be, and why she turned down matches where the connection was not there. She talks about two very different deliveries, one so fast the father did not make it and one long enough that everyone was in the room, and about the questions her healthcare coworkers asked most. She is also direct about the misconception that bothers her most: that a surrogate and her intended parents are in an employer and employee arrangement rather than a friendship.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear from someone whose two journeys went well and who is sad to be finished, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"I became a surrogate because I’m a happy, healthy pregnant woman and I wanted to share that." -- Amy

What You’ll Learn

● Why Amy thought about surrogacy for years before she pursued it

● How working in healthcare shaped what she understood about infertility

● Why she specifically wanted to carry for families who already had a child

● What her match calls felt like, and why she said no to some of them

● What the screening process asked her to think through before matching

● How she and her intended parents handled communication during both pregnancies

Guest Bio

Amy is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed both journeys through Family Inceptions, carrying a second child for each of two families. She works in healthcare, is a foster parent alongside her husband, and is a mother of four. She speaks about surrogacy openly and often, including with coworkers and her own teenagers, because she believes more women would consider it if they understood how the process actually works.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a clear-eyed account of what a well-matched, healthy journey looks like from start to finish.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

Why I Chose to Become A Gestational Surrogate

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-89-why-i-chose-to-become-a-gestational-surrogate/

Surrogate Logistics: Travel, Timelines, and Support

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-112-surrogate-logistics-travel-timelines-and-support/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/fertilitycafepodcast/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@fertilitycafepodcast

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

What changes when you carry for your best friend, and then do it again for a family you have never met?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Alyssa, a two-time gestational surrogate from small-town Iowa who did it two completely different ways. Her first journey was independent, for her best friend, a family that had already lost a child. Her second was through Family Inceptions, for intended parents on the other side of the country whom she met on a match call she compares to a blind date.

This conversation covers how she raised it with her husband on the drive home from a date night, how she told two daughters at very different ages, and how she vetted agencies from Facebook groups before she ever picked up the phone. Alyssa is candid about the difference between doing everything yourself and having someone else handle it, about the beta test that made everyone think the pregnancy was over, and about the postpartum blood pressure scare that put her in an ambulance three days after delivery and eventually led to a hysterectomy she is still making peace with.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear both the independent route and the agency route from someone who has done each of them, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"These were never my babies. It was all their embryo." -- Alyssa

What You’ll Learn

Guest Bio

Alyssa is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed one independent journey for a close friend and one agency journey through Family Inceptions. She lives in a small town in Iowa with her husband and their two daughters. She talks openly about what surrogacy asked of her body and her family, including the postpartum complications that followed her second delivery, so that women considering it can decide with the full picture in front of them.

This episode is for women who are weighing surrogacy and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has carried for both a friend and a stranger and seen how differently the two can go.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Alyssa on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alyssamcnally22

Related Episodes

Postpartum After Surrogacy

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-65-postpartum-after-surrogacy/

What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.eggdonorconnect.com/surrogateprescreen?utm_source=FertilityCafe&utm_campaign=SurrogateStories

Stay Connected

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More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Too many people walk into an OB GYN appointment with uncertainty, unanswered questions, or years of silent symptoms.

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with board-certified OB GYN Dr. Renita White, MD to unpack the real state of women’s healthcare today and the steps every person can take to advocate for themselves.

Dr. White shares why she entered obstetrics and gynecology, what she witnessed during training, and how systemic gaps leave many women confused about their own bodies. She explains the challenges of limited appointment times, lack of access, and medical misinformation and offers practical tools for improving trust and communication with healthcare providers.

Together, Eloise and Dr. White cover fertility education, AMH testing, preventive care, maternal mortality, racism in medicine, pregnancy fears, and navigating care in a post-Dobbs world. Dr. White also breaks down what a “normal” period actually looks like and when to seek additional support.

“You deserve to walk out of every appointment with real answers.” - Dr. Renita White

Guest Bio

Dr. Renita White, MD is a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and women’s health advocate. Originally from Georgia, she received her undergraduate degree from Duke University, her medical degree from The Ohio State University, and completed her OBGYN residency at Emory University. Alongside her private practice, Georgia OBGYN, Dr. White co-hosts the podcast Cradle & All and serves as a medical advisor for The Honey Pot Company, Flo Health, VeryWell Health, Parent Magazine, and Elle Magazine.

This episode is for any woman who has left a doctor’s appointment with more questions than answers, or who wants to better understand her reproductive health before something goes wrong.

What You’ll Learn

• Why Dr. White chose OB GYN and what she witnessed during training

• Stigma and systemic gaps within women’s healthcare

• How to prepare for and get more out of your OB GYN visits

• Fertility basics and what AMH testing can tell you

• When to see a reproductive specialist

• The realities of maternal mortality in the US

Episode Resources

Dr. Renita White renitawhitemd.com

Dr. White on Instagram @renitawhitemd

Cradle & All Podcast renitawhitemd.com/podcast

OBGYNs in Georgia study shorturl.at/k1aHl

Related Episodes

Ep 113: The Fertility Timeline: Dr Susanna Park on When to Get Tested 

Ep 111: The Patient Experience in Fertility Care: Advocating for Better Support

Ep 99: Bringing Equality to Reproduction for LGBTQ+ People

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources