Film Fights

Movies get remembered.  Classics never die!  After our last battle of Baseball Kids Movies, we conclude our outing with a true legend, The Sandlot!  Lifeguards hooked up with children, Dogs were eating people, and Smalls was killing EVERYONE!  Unless you've seen this movie, this description sounds insane - and honestly, even if you have seen this movie, yea this description is bonkers!  Bonus fact:  While this is Jono's millionth time watching this week's Singlie, Konrad is popping his Sandlot cherry!

Tangents include: Drinkball, Star Gwars, Eye Steak, 50s Microwaves, Frank Welker, Steg-o-Steak, and Mary Kay Cadillacs.

Intro/Outro Music by Math the Band.

Batter up!  And we're talking about cake batter!  Yep.  That's about as involved in baseball as we get here at Film Fights, so we are enlisting the help of a good friend, Jamie Gravitt, to join us for this special Baseball Kids Movies Battle!  Which movie hits the home run and goes to the Stanley Bowl?  One of them, probably!  Also, are these movies allegories for Christian propaganda!?  No.

Tangents include:  Sports Bar Kids Movie, Nolan Ryan Mounds Bar, Oil Field Baseball, Bike Turn Signals, Rookie of the Year The Musical, Air Bud of the Year, Dad's D**k, Fantasy Baseball, Fathering a Baseball Team, Baby Angels, McConaughey's Lincoln, Pennant Talk, and Christian Allegory.

Intro/Outro by Math the Band.

When you're on a roll, you are butter, and butter is hot - just like John Travolta was in 1996!  And yes, that metaphor was super smooth - as smooth as this Summer schlockbuster, Broken Arrow!  Keeping the theme going from last week, Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon finish up Travolta's '96 catalog with a movie that marks the ONLY time in "Siskel and Ebert" history that Roger Ebert convinced Gene Siskel to change his thumb rating from Up to Down!

Tangents include: Dawson's Creek, Future Jono the Pickler, Un-un-boxing Videos, Nuclear Sportsball, Air Force Fashion Show, Butterflies, Stock Screams, John Madden Rom-Com, Alternate Ending, Burger Sex, and Tupperware.

Intro/Outro Music by Math the Band.

After the success of 1994's Pulp Fiction, John Travolta found an incredible resurgence in carrying big money-farming films.  And lo, 1996 reared its grungy head and produced a trio of Travolta brilliance (citation needed) by way of a wise and charismatic Angel and a down-to-Earth dum dum genius.  Boil up some books and get ready to learn how to eat a lemon, because it's Film Fights Time!

Tangents include: Carmen Sandiego, Movie Ages, Etsy Chairs, Smartness, Book Soups 'n Stews, Nostradamus, Alphabet Animals, Buffoon/Baboon, PopeCorn, Subway Waivers, Delicious Brain Surgery, The Gabriel Band, World's Biggest and Flattest, Country Western Lyrics, How to Eat a Lemon, and Jello Jail.

Intro/Outro by Math the Band.

Happy Valentine’s Day you Lovely Spectators!  Continuing from last week, love is still in the air, and to wrap up this Battle of the Teen RomComs, your resident Film LOVERS - Kon ‘n Jon - discuss the 2001 Spoof Movie that is last week’s film battle mushed into a single ridiculous comedy (plus some other movies I guess).

Tangents include: Jono’s Dyslexia Again, Child’s Play 4: A New Hope, Porn Versions of Parodies, Pie Cutting, Film Fights Spoof, Dyslexia’s Jono Again, Tough as Nails Jesus, He’s All That, and Kiss Me Thanos.

Intro/Outro Music by Math the Band.

Love is in the air, and so are weird high school bets that force (questionably) young men to date (questionably) young women in the year 1999 wherein these fellas learn a valuable lesson about judging a book by its cover while the ladies warm up to being taken advantage of for a few weeks.  Yup!  It's another classic Battle of the Classics, helmed by your favorite no-nothing know-it-alls for Film Fights: Valentine's Edition!  Plus!  A brand new segment - The Good, The Bad, and the Fighters

Tangents include:  Bambi vs Nosferatu, Food and Scary Guy Podcast, Sun With Sunglasses, Softmores, Bananas and Stop Lights, Too Many Books, Bob A. Ganoosh, TLC and Other Timeless Hits, Hacky Sack Hero, 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Hate About You, Cliques and Stews, Pregnants Man, Concussion Discussion, D.A.R.E. (Don’t Ask, Really, Ever), Cashew Cheese.

Intro theme by Jens Lekman; Outro by Math the Band.

Film Fights Stickers! WANT SOME!? HAVE SOME!!  Email us at [email protected]!

OMGRobots!  For those who were thinking this movie was a cheap Child's Play knockoff, guess what?  We thought so, too!  M3GAN makes fools of Film Fighters and Lovely Spectators alike.  We close out our January Trash Movies with a film that (by all accounts) probably shouldn't belong in this category.  But one could argue that the titular villain was done dirty not just by frightened Hollywood execs but a rushed A.I. algorithm that-- you know what, just watch Short Circuit 2.  You'll understand.

Tangents include:  Comedy SFX, Mount Everest aka Mount Cemetery, Robot In the Family, Furry Chandler, Drill Bots, Short Circuit Knowledge, M3GAN Photo Studios, TikTok Song, M3GAN Meter Dash, CSI Detective’s Tight Five, The Sandwiches ‘n Cockroaches Bit, Fresh Gender Rolls.

Intro/Outro Music by Math the Band.

It's that wonderful time of year again - when Hollywood has nothing to promote for Award Season OR Summer Blockbusters!  That magical period when cheap productions yield profitable returns in a time when no one wants to go to the cinemas!  Though it seemed difficult at first, Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon found the "perfect" battle in the January dumpster fodder by way of Plane starring Gerard Butler and The Devil Conspiracy starring Uncanny Flat Lighting!

Tangents include:  Movie Theater Floor Dog, Lox Cream Cheese, Jono Cannae Do Accents, Better Daughters, Accidental Manslaughter, Mistakes On a Plane, SLAYover, Whirlpool Exerciser, Butter Daughters, Piccolo Soloist Album, Ricky Martin, Give a Hoot Eat a Boot, Alpha Lucifer, Bobbing For Chicken Strips, More Doors from Mordor, Jesus Reads Sports Illustrated.

Intro/Outro Theme by Math the Band

Ever get the feeling that you've been reliving the same scenario everyday?  Or perhaps that that you've been reliving the same scenario everyday?  If so, then UH-OH!  Looks like you've been Groundhogged!  Allow Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon to give you the Same Day Treatment with their thoughts and opinions on the squirrely gopher in this freezing new Singlie!

Tangents include:  Batting Cages, MILFs & Younger Dads, Bill Girly, Biscuits ‘n Gravy, Grand Theft On Auto, Cupid vs Icarus, Breads ‘n Spreads, Grandmaster Slam the 9th, Man Movies, Bennigan’s Kilkenny Salad, The Andie MacDowell Tangent, Hand Lasagna (Again), Same Day Treatment, Ned Talks

Intro/Outro Music by Math the Band.

It's that suspiciously warm winter time again!  And while resident film fighters Kon 'n Jon are cursed/gifted with the gift/curse of No-Snow, the mention of the very niche sub-sub-genre "Snowed-In Horror" brought about the classics - John Carpenter's The Thing and Stanley Kubrick's The Shining.   Which film do YOU think will be victorious? Well, it doesn't matter, because whichever the answer is, Konrad is totally wrong about [spoiler]

Tangents include:  James Bond, Jesus Carpenter, L’Objet de Toilette, 'They Live' Fight Scene, Bloodscicles, Tommy Tarantula, Helicopter Murder, Dr. Shaquille O’Neal, Dunking On the Stars, The Blair Thing, Oven Family, Cigarettes For Breakfast, Kubrick’s Stacks ‘o Books, Tony the Finger.

Intro/Outro Theme by Math the Band.