Film Fights

You know how they say that Christmas never ends?  First off, who said that?  Seriously.  Like, what were they thinking?  Were they high?  What does that even mean?  Secondly, of course it ends.  It immediately ends.  For some, it ends before it begins!  But for Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon... yea, it also ends - in fact, it's not even worth mentioning really.  Although, it may not be surprising that Jono (not so secretly) does not like Christmas movies.  Well, some Christmas movies.  Quite a few actually; enough to indicate maybe he doesn't actually hate Christmas movies but wanted to discuss the annoying logic of them in a mini episode!

Tangents include:  Rudolph the Coke-Nosed Reindeer -> Jurassic Deer, Soused Singles for Santa, The Santalorian, Cuffing Season, Romantic Christmas Movies, Gritty Horror Remakes of Kids Shows.

Intro/Outro Theme by Math the Band.

Christmas In July is overrated.  It's time for Summer In December - which is Texas living to a T - which is akin to black gold - which is what Jed referred to when describing an oil eruption in a pond when "shootin at some food".  Speaking of food, it's a Summer Camp Battle with the handsome hams from Heavyweights going up against the lonely losers of Camp Nowhere.  Which one will win the Family Day  Apache Race Cheese Whiz Candy Secrets- wait what were we talking about?

Tangents include: Towel Allergy, Lake Milk, Brain Bath, iCarly Generation, Dog Shave, The Tony Perkis Connection, No Sex Dad, Jonathan Frakes: Fact or Fiction, Cheese Pun Debates, Tom & Jerry Pie.

Intro/Outro Theme by Math the Band.

In a world where Santa is real and is hardcore and is come after by bad guys and has a moment where he must face his dark past and overcome adversity with renewed confidence and make dumb selfish people believe in him despite him being real the whole time, comes an exciting trailer that completely falls short of its expectations in every way!  No, we're not talking about Fatman.  It's Violent Night!  The critically acclaimed Christmas action film that makes people think they liked a movie just because of a handful of silly moments that somehow overshadowed long, drawn out, and boring scenes.  But what did the Film Fights guys think of it?  Have a listen and find out!

Tangents include:  Frozen Orange Juice, Breakfast Sugar, A Terrible German Chocolate Cake Metaphor, Combos™, Violent Night Mall Santa, The Fight Coordinator’s Work History, The Power of Belief, and Medieval Doctor Tips.

Intro/Outro music by Math the Band.

Deck the halls with bowels of baddies
Fa la la la la, la la la la
'Tis the season for ratatat tatty
Blam blam blam blam blam, pow pow pow boom
Bad ass cop guys for Christmas nights
Yippee ki, yippee ki, yay-yay-yay
Merry Christmas from Film Fights
La la la la Lo-vely Spectators!

Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon put to rest the age-old question that has plagued experts and scholars for centuries: "Is Die Hard and Lethal Weapon a Christmas movies?"  Find out RIGHT HERE!

Tangents include: Car Batteries, Interstellar Tangent [Gender Swapped Muppets -> Muppet Pastor -> Hannibal History -> Sound of Muses -> A Christmas Song], The Odd Weapons, 14 Year Old Girls (the band), Moon P’Eyes, Buds’s, Jackie Chan’s Mr. Nice Guy, A Christmas Carol, Soup Cases, Box 'o Butter, Meat Bar -> Food Gloves, Super Dutchio Brothers, Carl Wind-In-the-Winslow, Robert Evans.

Intro/Outro by Math the Band.

We hope the Lovely Spectators had a wonderful and deservingly gluttonous Thanksgiving!  With leftovers to tide over til Christmas, Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon are Sweatin' to the Foodies this week as they discuss memorable foods from memorable movies - with MANY suggestions from fans and friends alike!  Could it be you(rs)?!

Foods featured:  Pizza (A Goofy Movie, Spaceballs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), Sausage (Nothing But Trouble), Imaginary Feast (Hook), Chinese Food (The Lost Boys), Peking Duck (A Christmas Story), Giant Peach (James and the Giant Peach), Confit Byaldi (Ratatouille), Fast Food (Aqua Teen Hunger Force), Oatmeal Cream Pie (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids), Candy (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory).

Intro/Outro by Math the Band.

Still reeling from overload of Halloween horror movies, we turn to the next best thing about yesterday's holiday: Candy!  But what kind of candy?  The best kind - John!  It's a tale of two Johns in this case as the Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon discuss the John Hughes / John Candy films Uncle Buck and The Great Outdoors.

Tangents include Konrad's Superlatives, Modern Buck, Erick Merrick's Bones, Film Fights Pancakes Packages, Name Brand Cereal, Lollygagging Alligators, Getting Away With Not Getting Caught, Prayer Limit, Trading Places Shared Universe.

Intro/Outro Theme by Math the Band.

Time for another Pancakes episode!  What are Pancakes?  Other than a delicious breakfast treat, it is what we call our Outtakes episodes.  "Why not just call it Outtakes?"  Why indeed!

During October's Franchise Frenzy last month - in which Film Fighters Kon 'n Jon watched and reviewed 40 horror films over 4 episodes and a live show (thank you for your continued support)! - it's understandishable that some episode recordings ran PRETTY long, and necessary edits were needed before release.  After scouring some of the best japes and tangents, we've compiled a wonderful stack of Pancakes to tide you lovely spectators over until our next full length episode, which will be back to form - classic Film vs Film format!

Happy Halloween you Lovely Spectators you!

We come to the end of our Franchise Frenzies for October - many thanks to those who came to our LIVE finale of Nightmare On Elm Street - and have concluded with a malicious mini to perfectly cap this (nearly) 40 film affair!  Who is the better slasher - Freddy or Jason?  Probably one of them, but New Line Cinema doesn't think so!  Wait, what?  Also, we field fan-suggested mini battles for this special occasion!

Tangents include:  Freddy Vs Jason: The Musical, Shuck Shock, Shuck Shake, “Let’s just say…”, The Odd Couple of Maniacs, Freddy AND Jason, Battle Guys, The Old Affair, Chucky Rap, Oscar The Grouch’s Rap.

Fan Battles Mentioned:  Sally vs Jack Skellington , Sandworm 3-Way (Beetlejuice vs Dune vs Tremors), Ash vs Leatherface, Robocop vs Terminator, Robocop vs Johnny 5 (Short Circuit), Demonic Toys vs Chucky, Blade (Puppet Master) vs Chucky, Rocky vs Rambo.

*Ki-ki-ki ma-ma-ma*  From Jason's Mom to Jason to Tommy Jarvis back to Jason but then also transferred to random people because I guess Jason has that power now after 9 movies and then to Space Cyborg Jason!  Film Fights celebrates its 50th Episode with our final Franchise Frenzy of the month in which a different horror film franchise is watched, battled, and ordered from Best to Worst by the fearless Film Fighters, Kon 'n Jon.  The hockey masked, machete-wielding maniac we all love to be scared of is on the chopping block with every Friday the 13th/Jason film (except the remake and Freddy vs Jason) being discussed from the original to X!

Tangents include: The 70 The Now, Scary Cherry, Hitchhiking Babysitters, Strip Monopoly, Not a Great Swimmer, Sunny D(on’t Tell), Crispy Glover, Hand Lasagna, Mentos Ad, Australian Hockery Diggery, Chili’s Too Hot Cakes, Jason Raps, Telekinesis Girl, Jason vs Muppets, Pizza X, Very Used Cars, West Side Jason.

Music by Math the Band.

Film Fights is a comedy movie discussion podcast in which two films go head to head in a battle of genre, style, and wit.  It's up to hosts Jono and Konrad to wade through each movie's shortcomings and/or glory through mucking about and radical tangents to declare a new champion every week.   And like most competitor sports, there is drinking, yelling, and sometimes blood.