FilmDrunk Frotcast

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Zack Chapaloni takes time out from his busy improv schedule to join us for a robust “yes-and” of Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry’s new madcap shooting spree comedy The Union. That’s not really a joke; in between witty bon mots, Halle Hal and Marky Mark rack up a body count on par with Legionnaire’s Disease. Brendan forgets JK Simmons’ name and decides to refer to him thenceforth as JK Rowling. Matt watched about half the movie and we come to the conclusion that he really didn’t miss that much. This is an AI-ass movie, y’all. We also discuss the baffling end credits sequence and whether or not this is simply the logical result of stan culture vs. “wanting to see a good movie” (spoiler: it is).

Vince wanted to save his takes on ‘Reagan,’ the new biopic about our most AI-ass president, until the rest of us could see it, but he had to take his shirt off and go in anyway. We challenge some fundamental assumptions of the movie such as: since when does he get credit for ending the Cold War, and why should any American particularly give a shit? Plus! A helpful guide to recognizing Gorbachev in the movie if you don’t have a helpful geriatric to loudly whisper THAT’S GORBACHEV in your theater.

If you like what you heard from our esteemed guest, find Zack on his website here. Even if you didn’t you probably should, we are all desperate.

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David J. Roth from Defector and The Distraction joins Vince and Joey this week to discuss season 1, episode 6 of Top Chef, “Guess Who’s Coming for Dinner,” with guest judge Ted Allen!

This episode could’ve been alternately titled “Miguel’s Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” as it started with Miguel feeling like the whole world was against him, then he put Palmolive in the dishwasher, and then he put salt instead of sugar in his dessert, and then he ended up at judge’s table, and finally he finished things off by calling Tiffani “A snake. SSSSSS” one of the all-time most memorable Top Chef trailer clips.

Dave cried red-faced into his wine glass and lots of other stuff happened too, but the important thing is that Andrea is finally gone. My God, it feels like it took forever, didn’t it? it seemed like someone else was about to get sent home, but Andrea, who thought she was above this competition all along, basically decided to fall on her sword instead, making up some dumb bullshit about green onions on her way out. Much like Joe Biden, the best thing she did was to leave the stage. Good riddance, Andrea! Have fun pooping!

Check out our sponsor at BlackwoodDistillingCo.com.

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! Sign up at Patreon.

Sean Keane from the Roundball Rock podcast joins us this week to discuss Top Chef season 1, episode 4 — “Food on the Fly.” This episode challenged the chefs first to get all their quickfire ingredients from a convenience store and then to prepare an entree that could be reheated in a microwave. These days David Chang and all the hip chefs brag about all the things they cook in a microwave but back in 2006 these fancy boys and girls all acted like someone shot their dog. “I haven’t used one of these in 10 years,” says chef Andrea, who is inexplicably still on the show. Yet cutting them down to size was all part of the plan, to get them to drop all the fancy talk and try to relate to some normal people. I guess we thought that’s what foodies needed back then, and it seems like the Top Chef producers weren’t wrong.

This episode also featured possibly the meanest Top Chef guest judge ever, in Jefferson Hill, then the executive chef at the Rotunda at Neiman Marcus, yet another San Francisco location that doesn’t exist anymore (we will stop reminiscing about these one week, but not this week). These days Jefferson Hill is… well, no one really knows. He seems to have disappeared from the internet record. Other drama includes Miguel stealing Tiffani’s idea for Krispy Kreme bread pudding, Miguel trying to get Stephen to understand not everyone is a snob, and Dave being upset that Harold and Stephen clowned his lasagna.

Candice ends up going home, and it feels like the producers were setting up a character arc for her that never panned out. We try to figure out which classic Real World tropes each Top Chef contestant was cast based on, and then argue over who is the most successful Real World castmember. Good times were had. Food was watched. Pack your knives, and also your headphones.

Visit our sponsor at BlackwoodDistillingco.com.

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! To listen to the full version of this podcast and all other premium podcasts sign up at Patreon.

James Fritz joins us in the virtual stu’ (it was supposed to be a real stu’ but Matt got a widdle sniffle). Listen as we drop bar after bar of the tightest flows ever etched on wax! YOU CRAZY FOR THIS ONE RICK!!

We uphold Frotcast tradition by going completely off the rails before we even get started. James asks Matt if he’s “a jingle man” and sends Brendan on a 20-minute reverie involving Jack Nicholson menacingly asking a guy named Matt tied to a chair if he’s “a jingle man”.

Come along with us as we discuss the ancient ideals still held forth by the purity of the Olympic Games and the eternal glory plus unlimited colonoscopies conferred upon its champions. When in Rome, indeed.

Listen as we take in the Veep-iness of Linda Yaccarino’s video in which she outlines the lawsuit Twitter is bringing against advertisers who don’t want to spend money with them. There’s also some good Louis CK “your father is dead” vibes with the hand gestures. She’s going to make a great politician. I personally cannot wait for Twitter to win this lawsuit so every company in America will be forced to spend money there, a thing that will DEFINITELY happen.

Brendan leaves soon after that because his son won’t nap and Matt gets big mad about Zionism. Idk, I think reggae is pretty cool but whatevs.

See nudes of James Fritz at his website: https://www.jamesfritzcomic.com/

Frot on!

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! Sign up at Patreon.

Joey and Vince are back talking about season 1 of Top Chef. This week we’re talking about season one, episode 3 (103), “Nasty Delights,” which really is a fantastic Top Chef episode and quite possibly a big reason we still have this show 21 seasons later. Stephen Asprinio deserves his place in the Top Chef hall of fame. All-time great reality show character. The chefs had to make octopus, and then they had to make monkfish for little kids. Crazy how this episode turned out, because some people who went on to become food TV royalty probably should’ve gone home this episode. Justice for Brian! (Or, maybe not, maybe he deserved it).

For some delicious bourbon and rye, check out our sponsor, blackwooddistillingco.com.

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! To listen to the full version of this podcast and all other premium podcasts sign up at Patreon.

This week on the Frotcast, Matt comes to us live from his very stressful trip to San Francisco where his car broke down in the middle of the freeway on the way to do some comedy. He ended up all sweaty up there. Our guest this week is Ryan Nanni, aka Celebrity Hot Tub, author of Assigned and co-host of the Shut Down Fullcast. Matt tells us all about his trip, we talk about JD Vance stealing Joe Sinclitico’s Frotcast bit and having sex with couches, plus we review JD Vance’s crowdwork about Diet Mountain Dew. Eventually we get around to talking about ‘Love Lies Bleeding,’ the lesbian bodybuilding movie starring Kristen Stewart I made everyone watch for some reason. Basically imagine Pain & Gain with lesbian bodybuilders. Or maybe Thelma & Louise with lesbian bodybuilders. It’s actually a bunch of things that sound intriguing and yet none of those things at all because it doesn’t feel like they finished writing it.

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! This episode is free, but Patreon subscribers saw it earlier. 

Top Chef Wisconsin (aka Top Chef Season 21) may be over, but the Top Chef Frotcast Post-Show isn’t. This week we welcome Top Chef season 13 finalist and season 20 fan favorite Amar Santana, chef/owner of Broadway and Vaca, both in Orange County, California. Amar is great interview, and actually seems to enjoy talking to us for whatever reason. Which I hope won’t get him into any professional trouble. Years ago I tasted Jamón Iberico for the first time thanks to Amar, which is one of those things you never forget.

We get all the Top Chef inside info from Amar, including what his casting process was like, how much editors manipulate the show, and whether Top Chef winners still dream of opening new restaurants. He takes us back to when he first heard about the show, working alongside Ilan Hall (who went onto win Top Chef season 2) as line cooks for Charlie Palmer, and why he decided to be on it. He talks about the moment Top Chef stopped feeling like a reality show and started feeling like a legit cooking competition (it involved the Voltaggio Brothers), as well as the auditioning process, the psych evaluation, and more.

Finally, we made Amar go back and watch the first episode of the first season of Top Chef, and we discuss all the things that make it kind of hilarious to watch now, from Katie Lee being the host instead of Padma, to Tom Colicchio’s soul patch, to that crazy Irish guy who got kicked off for putting his finger in Hubert Keller’s sauce (Ken Lee). Uh, that’s DJ Hubert Keller to you.

As always, thank you to our sponsor, Blackwood Distilling Co. (Yes, the show has a sponsor, that’s why it’s free on all platforms).

PLEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! This episode is free, but Patreon subscribers saw it earlier. 

This week, we were honored to welcome guest Alex Goldman, formerly of ReplyAll, currently of the Western Kabuki podcast and the Cool Dude Zone Substack. We discuss the reason our kids are annoying, bad vibes in the podcast industry, questions Alex would like to ask Elon Musk, and of course, 1992’s Dracula. Because why wouldn’t we discuss 1992’s Dracula? That was actually Brendan’s idea, only the bastard wasn’t here to see it through because he ended up having to parent. UGH! We discuss Monica Belucci as a sex vampire, Gary Oldman as the original steampunk f*ckboy, Keanu Reeves’ accent, and Winona.

LEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! This episode is free, but Patreon subscribers saw it earlier. 

Joey Devine and Vince Mancini are back with the last Top Chef post-mortem, on the Top Chef Wisconsin finale! (Which actually took place on a boat in Aruba). We actually recorded most of this after having watched every part of the show except for the last five minutes in which they declared a winner, and then had to go back and finish the podcast after the winner was declared. We thought we knew who had one with a great deal of certainty. And it turns out, we were wrong! We break down the entire meal, dish-by-dish, and then return with our discussion of the winner, what we’ve been cooking, and how we rank Top Chef Wisconsin, aka Top Chef season 21, in the pantheon of Top Chef seasons. Hope you enjoy, and thanks again to our sponsor, Blackwood Distilling.

LEASE SIGN UP ON PATREON, EVEN IF IT’S FOR FREE! Posting everything here has become a burden, and if you’re only listening to this feed you probably aren’t getting all of the episodes. Patreon dot com slash frotcast! This episode is free, but Patreon subscribers saw it earlier. 

Documentarian Lance Oppenheim last hung out with us just a few months ago to talk about Spermworld, his Hulu documentary about unlicensed sperm donors. At the time he teased us with news of his next project, Ren Faire, a documentary series about the eccentric owner of the Texas Renaissance Festival, one of the largest renaissance festivals in the world. Well now that documentary is here. Ren Faire, produced by the Safdie Brothers and Ronald Bronstein (Uncut Gems, Good Time, etc.) follows George Coulam, an eccentric octogenerian ex-Mormon who dresses in a self-designed military-inspired uniform who everyone calls “King George.” King George is the capricious ruler of the TRF, who says he wants to retire while his long-suffering employees scramble around trying to please him while plotting against each other and trying to set themselves up to become the heir apparent.

Ren Faire‘s main characters include Jeff Baldwin, the portly theater kid entertainment director who has recently become general manager, Louie Migliaccio, a steampunk energy drink addict who runs the festival’s kettle corn empire (but dreams of more), and Darla Smith, an elephant trainer-turned renaissance faire capitalist. Lance opens up about how he shot Ren Faire, what all the Ren Faire characters are doing now — big scoop on Jeff Baldwin and the rest of the staff in there — and how many energy drinks Louie Migliaccio consumes in a day. Oh, and about how King George’s sugar daddy dates at the Olive Garden actually went down, and whether George asked them any questions beyond whether their breasts are real.

Ren Faire is a great docuseries and the ultimate show for anyone who wants to know how unhappy rich people actually are.