In this episode I have the absolute pleasure of talking to Dr. Joy Skarka.  Joy is a leader in helping women find freedom and healing from sexual shame with her doctoral work, leading seminars and workshops with Authentic Intimacy, and now is the author of a new book on the topic, Her Freedom Journey—a guide out of porn and shame to authentic intimacy.  

In her book, Joy bravely shares her own journey from addiction to freedom. She educates her readers on the way porn use fuels harm, addiction and shame. But she doesn’t leave us there. Instead, she offers so much help and hope to her readers who might be struggling with these issues themselves or want to help someone who is. This book is going to be such an incredible resource to many. It is going to change lives. This episode is full of so many practical tips, encouragement and hope. I am truly honored to introduce you to Dr. Joy today. And I am so proud to share this conversation with you. 

Some helpful links from today’s episode: 

Get resources from Dr. Joy’s website here 

Follow Dr. Joy on Instagram here 

Get Dr. Joy’s book, Her Freedom Journey, here 

Get more resources on all kinds of sexual issues from Authentic Intimacy here 

Hopeful bible verse: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 

Some favorite quotes from today’s episode: 

 *“Look at all that God has done!” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*“Girls use porn too. And girls need to be protected from porn too.” Greta Eskridge 

*”If we don’t talk about it for women and they’re secretly struggling, there is just so much more shame and so many more problems down the line.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”Do you know what gave me the courage? Someone else went first. I heard a courageous woman share her story at a college student women’s event. Until that moment, I had never heard a woman admit she struggled with sexual sin. For the first time I realized I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t a total freak for being a woman who struggled with sexual sin.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”Really what I needed was healthier coping mechanisms.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”Not only is sexual sin addictive, but it is damaging to your brain. It reconstructs your neurological pathways and bonds you to the images because God created you for intimacy.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*There is more to it than ‘just stop watching porn’. You have to heal your brain and your body too.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”You were not created for sex, but for intimacy.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”God created us with a longing to be loved and to have intimacy that can only be met through Him. So if we’re turning to these fake things that are trying to give us fake intimacy, we’re always going to come up short and continue to have a longing for more.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”By delighting in Him, you find something that doesn’t just numb the pain, but heals the pain. That’s what God does.” Greta Eskridge 

*”The good news is this: we worship a God who redeems and restores our broken sexuality. Not only does God restore the beauty from ashes, but He also restores and renews our brains. We can have hope that even if we have been negatively affected by porn, we can be healed!” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”We worship a God who can restore anything and that’s our hope. God’s power and His healing and His miracles can restore and redeem anybody’s brains.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”The porn industry is purposely creating porn for women. They have a whole branded type of porn, they call it ‘romance porn’. They also have porn to draw in kids because they know if they capture them they’re going to stay with us and be our clients for decades.” Dr. Joy Skarka 

*”Satan wants us to stay in that place of shame. He wants us to feel afraid and to feel like we’re cancelled because of the mistakes of our past, the decisions we made, the things that happened to us, even the things that aren’t our fault. He wants us to hide in that shame. And he wants us to stay quiet. But God can use our story when we bring it into the light.” Greta Eskridge 

*”The enemy thrives in the darkness and he thrives in the shame. But if we bring it into the light, that’s where the healing happens.” Dr. Joy Skarka