What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• What does it look like to be someone’s back up girl? 
• But if I bring up what I need, won’t that make me sound desperate or pushy? 
• How staying as someone’s option is a sign of low self-esteem. 
• Do men actually know what’s happening when they put a woman on the backburner? 
• Sometimes women confuse drama with love.
• Why you should never go beyond six months before saying what you want.
• How to spot the signs of a non-committal relationship.
• How to listen to your gut instinct and speak up for what you’re really seeking in a relationship.
• Signs that a man is not integrating you into his life.
• The importance of getting Emotionally Naked, seeing if someone can meet you there, and how Lisa and Benjamin can help you.

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Mentioned:

Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl 

Quotes:

• “There is a feeling that a woman gets when she feels safe and secure in a relationship and when she feels that a man has both feet in.” - Lisa
• “You really do want to make sure that you get out of these relationships and start learning how to do this intelligently so that you don't waste time.” - Lisa 
• “I had to find self esteem and be willing to walk away from those relationships to find the guardian of my soul.”  - Lisa 
• “Sometimes drama gets confused with love.” - Benjamin

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Why do we hold on to relationships and people, even if they weren’t that great? 
• Can you really let go of a relationship that you’ve invested so much in? 
• What about the fear that you’ll never find someone like that again? 
• A few of the many ways holding on tight to an old relationship costs you. 
• How working with Lisa and Benjamin can help you press the reset button and get REAL clarity on what you are looking for and how to embody the best version of yourself quickly.
• How to stop beating yourself up for picking the wrong people and start focusing on the right ones. 
• Yes, you can learn to see the light and not waste time on imposters. 

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Quotes: 

• “One of the reasons we hold on is because it’s very, very hard to admit that it’s not going to work and that you may not be a good fit.” 
• “And a lot of you are thinking,  ‘but I need to go to therapy, I need to spend time healing, I need to process and figure out what went wrong’.”

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• What does it mean to be ambivalent? 
• Why do many women make everything else besides finding a partner a priority, when in actuality they deeply crave finding a partner. 
• What’s so good about having a partner to go through life with anyway? 
• How judging men and being closed off to connections with good men is really a sign you’re ambivalent.
• How being afraid to receive can be a sign of ambivalence. 
• The most extraordinary journey is to actually go out and consciously search for a partner.
• Sex will only get you so far, you’re going to have to learn how to get Emotionally Naked. 
• Is the fear of ending up in another horrible relationship holding you back? 
• Why feeling unlovable is also at the root of many ambivalent feelings.

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Quotes: 

• “Children are wonderful… parents, friends, all of those things are beautiful. But there is something about finding love and true partnership that is extraordinary.” - Lisa 
• “Stop over-giving and just sit still.” - Lisa 
• “I think the greatest gift in life is having a loving partner to share it with you.” - Lisa 
• “So many of us women have so many walls up. We judge men, and we’re hard on them, and we find something wrong with almost every man we meet, and it’s heartbreaking.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Love doesn’t have to be an either/or experience. In fact, good relationships should help you in every aspect of your life including career and spirituality. 
• Isn’t a relationship all about compromise? 
• The FIREWORKS myth, and why it’s okay if you don’t feel crazy sparks on the first date (or even the third!). 
• A few listener questions and statements including one woman who is restructuring her love life, and another wondering where all the emotionally available men are. 
• Think love is getting in the way of your relationship with a higher power? Actually, the ultimate spiritual thing you can do is find love. 
• How is the time table of finding love and starting a family different for men vs women? 
• If you’re single for now, enjoy it! But do the RIGHT work so it’s possible to call in the Guardian of Your Soul, IF that is what you truly desire. 
• It’s important to look into the future, and see what you want it to look like. 
• Other people are going to project their ideas of how life SHOULD be onto you. The restrictions and limiting beliefs are quite often because they are trying to protect you. But, that doesn’t mean you live for them. 
• How working with Lisa and Benjamin can help you get crystal clear on what you want, including spiritual wisdom. 

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Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Quotes: 

• “It doesn’t have to be about compromise. I’ve never felt like I’ve compromised.” - Benjamin 
• “Love is synonymous with God.” - Benjamin 
• “The ultimate spiritual thing you can do is find love.” - Lisa  
• “In almost every spiritual practice, the end goal is love.” - Benjamin  
• “As we lift ourselves with mutual love, it lifts us up to God.” - Benjamin 
• “I made a decision that I wanted to get more open as I got older. I wanted the road to get wider, not narrower.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Wei talks about his journey coming out of a marriage and seeking therapy to get clarity and support on his parenting. This led him to feel ready to get out there and take the next step. 
• The best relationships don’t always start out as huge fireworks. They build from a foundation of friendship over time. 
• Leanne talks about how Wei makes her feel heard and taken care of. He is so thoughtful and truly looks out for her in a protective yet gentle way. 
• What was it like for Leanne and Wei to come from a Chinese culture when it came to looking for love and embracing their role in a relationship? 
• Leanne talks about how the financial and time investment of working with Lisa was SO worth it, and she wishes she did it when she was younger. 
• Having a difficult conversation with Wei in a loving and kind way was a milestone to Leanne. 
• Even if you haven’t found your “Wei” yet, you can learn from how Leanne dove in to do the RIGHT work on herself. 

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Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Quotes: 

• “I did my reflection and came out of it, and was ready to move forward to the next chapter.” - Wei 
• “Emotionally Naked is the key. It’s the foundation to bring two souls together.” - Leanne
• “He gave the space for me to voice myself, any way I can.” - Leanne 
• “Having a relationship with a guy, we want to make him feel like his world is getting bigger, not smaller.” - Leanne 
• “I had to address myself before I moved on to the next stage. Make yourself ready before you start something new.” - Wei

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• How first date fashion can get in the way of making a connection with a man. 
• What you or your girlfriends may think is cool and sexy may be overwhelming for a man, especially at first. 
• What does a man think when he sees a woman that is overdressed? 
• When a woman is dressed like a movie character or Halloween costume, men don’t see the real “her”, but instead an image or facade. 
• How to embrace dressing with comfort and ease, but still look classic and classy. 
• Okay, but what if you have a strong sense of style and want to show it off? 
• Does how you dress really impact a man deciding to go on a second date with you? 
• It’s a sign of good self esteem to dress with taste and be understated. 
• Lisa and Benjamin’s Emotionally Naked 12 Week Course is all about authenticity and a step by step process of learning how to put your true self out there in every way, from your profile pictures to how you show up. 
• But wait, he’s putting in little to no effort in how HE shows up? That’s not fair! 
• A man wants a woman to be comfortable in her body. That’s a huge turn on.
• Benjamin shares the biggest turn ONs and OFFs when it comes to makeup, shoes, and showing some sexy skin. 

Continue On Your Journey

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Mentioned:

Quotes:

• “If a man can’t get through that layer, he’s not going to call back for the second date because there is not that connection.” - Benjamin
• “It’s become more clear to me how important clothing and image is, and how that can completely draw someone in or turn someone completely off.” - Lisa 
• “Some women so badly want to make an impression that they hide behind the fashion and they’re afraid to show their real selves.” - Lisa 
• “We don’t necessarily want fireworks in the beginning, we want something to build from a  foundation of friendship, trust, and safety.” - Benjamin

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• First, let’s define anxiety. 
• What if you don’t really feel anxious in general, but just when it comes to dating and relationships? 
• How anxiety can show up in everything from our thoughts, body feelings, or unprocessed emotions. 
• The real cost of not dealing with your anxiety.
• Why do powerful and successful women still struggle with so much dating our self confidence?
• If the brain’s job is to protect you, why does it flood us with fear and anxiety?
• Lisa wouldn’t have found Benjamin if she didn’t face her anxiety. And if she can, so can you! 

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Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Quotes: 

• “Women who are capable and independent and don't like asking for help or feeling out of control are going to do everything they can to subconsciously avoid having to face this part of life.” 
• “Once I got out there, and I put myself online, I started to see how much anxiety I really had in this part of life.” 
• “I stopped and decided that I had to face this part of life and do something about it.” 
• “To actually face it head on meant that I came right up against a wall of anxiety that I didn’t even know existed.”

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- Why it’s essential to learn about attachment theory.

- What does it look like when someone is either anxiously attached or avoidant?

- Why do women tend to be more anxious in relationships?

- How do you know which one you are, and can you be a mix of them?

- What are protest behaviors?

- How Lisa observed a love bomber and got herself out of it with a clear conscience.

- What is Lisa’s “One Conversation Rule” for seeing if the person you are dating is equipped to handle the tough conversations in life?

- Why are avoidants / anxious attachers attracted to one another, and how to break free of codependency to become more secure.

- How to finally solve this issue to become an Emotionally Naked Dater!

Continue On Your Journey

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Mentioned:

Attached

Men Who Can’t Love

Quotes:

“Our parents have a huge influence over who we choose as partners, and how we show up in our relationships.”

“What's exciting is having both feet in a relationship, and being willing to take that kind of leap, that kind of risk, and then seeing what happens.”

“When we're anxious, we tend to attract the wrong men, so anxious and avoidant people are attracted to each other.”

Original Airdate: October 14, 2021

Ep 23, re-edited for this RePlay

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- How to get into a positive mindset even before you arrive on the date.

- Dating can feel like an adventure, it doesn’t always have to feel like you’re on a treadmill!

- Do you really need a dating coach? How can it help get you out of your rut?

- What does Lisa mean by taking the “feminine lead”?

- Why are you repeating patterns or stuck in the past when you feel ready to move forward in love?

- Sometimes moving forward can also look like stopping to take a break and reassess.

- How to encourage men to pursue you.

Continue On Your Journey

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at:  [email protected]

Mentioned:

Quotes:

“You cannot move forward until you make sense of the past.”  

“Get into your heart, be vulnerable and embrace the feminine.”

“Having a beautiful deep understanding of what men go through is going to open up your heart to men.”

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Email the podcast at: [email protected]

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

- How to create vulnerability in the context of trust and safety, without sharing every detail of your life.

- Some specific examples of what you could share on a date that is vulnerable and will help a man feel closer to you while still leaving some room for subtlety.

- Instead of interviewing your date, we learn to receive and reciprocate.

- The art of playfulness takes away anxiety and brings a lighter mood to both you and your date.

- Humor creates an instant connection.

- Why insatiable curiosity is not only a turn on for men, but something they crave in their day to day life.

- Date isn’t asking a lot of questions? Don’t discard him yet!

- Two strangers can be genuinely curious about each other and have a magical evening and go their separate ways, so even if your date isn’t your soulmate, you can still learn something and practice these techniques.

- We remember how people make us feel, so make sure you are in the bell jar and present with who is in front of you.

Continue On Your Journey

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: 

[email protected]

Mentioned:

Healers on Healing

Anatomy of an Illness

Quotes:

"It requires a certain confidence to be playful." - Lisa

"Laughter washes away anxiety." - Benjamin

"There is something magical about the art of presence and being in the moment." - Lisa

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Continue On Your Journey: 

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Email the podcast at: [email protected]