What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• What does a Dating Coach say when guys ask them what line of work they’re in? 
• How does Cassie’s job differ now then when she was in charge of a classroom as a teacher? 
• Men are so afraid of being rejected and… so are women!
• Why it’s so important to stop making up stories about attractive people. They truly are just like everybody else.  
• One response can either draw a man closer or push him away. 
• What are the ways we shame a man that we may not even be conscious of? 
• Cassie talks about her decision of going alcohol free in her dating and social life.
• How has Cassie’s own confidence and poise grown in every aspect of her life since working with Lisa? 

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Mentioned:

Henry Cavill

Quotes

• “I just own it now.” - Cassie
• “I don't attach my self worth to whether or not the guy likes me.” - Cassie
• “If you want a phone call, express it. And I would say get on a phone call as quickly as possible to really avoid allowing a fake relationship to be created through just texting.” - Cassie 
• “So we're all just going out frustrated, thinking that the apps are the only way to meet. And then that can be a nightmare in and of itself, without honest, vulnerable communication.” - Cassie
• “It didn't just happen overnight that I became this competent and comfortable with who I am, and confident and comfortable with being a non drinker.”  - Cassie 
• “I know how appreciative men will be when they know we make an effort.” - Cassie

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• The most popular dating app is Tinder. But can you really find love on it? 
• How do you determine which dating app is right for you? 
• Some ways to make the most of your experience, no matter what app you are on. 
• The importance of not telling yourself a story about one site being “good” and the others being “bad”. 
• The app experience can be very different depending on what city or part of the country you live in. 
• Some tips for staying safe and not getting catfished, including a reverse photo search and proper look up of their information. 
• Success stories from Benjamin working on creating a profile for women that caught the interest of the right guys. 
• Sites like Silver Singles that are good for those 50+. 
• The real story behind exclusive dating sites that are harder to get into, such as Raya. 

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Mentioned:

Quotes

• “When your energy is open, your heart is open, and you're not rushing through your life and staring at your phone, when your eyes are open and you really are in the moment, that's when you're going to meet these guys.” - Lisa
• “Don't make up a story about this site is better than that site.” - Lisa
• “You can meet people anywhere, and you can meet a guy on any site.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Rules are somewhat arbitrary and they often come from our head, rather than our soul. 
• Rules can be separating and repel people. They can be black and white, while a boundary is about communicating what matters to you in a way that gives someone the choice to respect it.
• Lisa gives an example of how Benjamin asked Lisa (nicely!) if she could change her tone, and how that was an example of him setting his own boundary. 
• Lisa and Benjamin give some real world examples of rules that almost resulted in missed connections and confusion to both the man and the woman.
• The “rules” and all these strategies and games for dating may work to get a date, or even a ring, but they aren’t building toward a solid foundation because they aren’t based on emotional nakedness, trust, or vulnerability. 
• Being the Guardian of someone’s Soul isn’t about following rules. It’s about seeing the path that the soul needs to go on, and supporting it in every way possible. 

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Mentioned:

Dating Rules 

Getting To I Do 

Quotes

• “It's about finding that middle ground. It's about being able to say, ‘look, this is what works for me. This is what my truth is, and can you meet me there’?” - Lisa
• “Rules are somewhat arbitrary, and they often come not from our soul, but from our head.” - Benjamin
• “Rules are about control where boundaries are about emotional vulnerability.” - Benjamin
• “Anytime you are setting a boundary, it’s about making a request and inviting and saying to a man ‘Could you? Would you? I would love to know your thoughts.’ It’s not one person dictating how it is.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Part of being an empowered and powerful woman is looking for what we can do to create a space for men to feel safe. 
• Lisa explains how the labels we put on men as constantly being emotionally unavailable actually give our power away.
• We have a tremendous capacity and a gift for being able to draw out the best in men. 
• How do we create that safe space for a man? 
• If you tell him to be honest, you must be ready for what his true honest answers are. Yelling at him after will make him feel that he actually can’t tell you the truth! 
• Male vulnerability and female vulnerability look and sound very different. From a young age, men can be bullied and made fun of for expressing their emotions. 
• Lisa talks about how she realized that being in a relationship meant she had to make room for the man, and things couldn’t always be exactly how she wanted them. 

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Mentioned: lisashield.com

Quotes

• “When women are being vulnerable, it sounds very different than when a man is being vulnerable.” 
• “Whenever we blame men or we label them as being emotionally unavailable, or whatever labels we put on them, we give our power away.” 
• “We as women have a tremendous capacity and gift of being able to draw out the best in men.” 
• “We have the ability to open up a space for men, where they can actually feel safe coming to us and sharing their innermost thoughts and dreams with us.” 
• “Being an adult for me in a relationship meant that I had to learn how to make room for the man, and that it couldn't always be my way.”

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Our core values are what make up the matrix of our being. They are deeper than just thoughts or opinions, and our core values typically don’t change with the wind. 
• It takes effort, but it is possible to navigate to the goodness of the person and see that both people are usually trying to do what they think is good for the world. 
• Yes, it is very, very difficult for two people who have diverging core values to be in an intimate relationship. 
• Lisa and Benjamin talk about their shared core values- one being that neither wanted children. But what would it look like if someone changed their mind? 
• Opposites don’t always attract. Sometimes being on the same page is the best way to be when it comes down to these very big, personal, and divisive issues. 
• Being the Guardian of someone’s Soul doesn’t mean you give up your life to live theirs. 
• What should you do when the differing opinions are so big that it just seems unfixable? 

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Mentioned:

Quotes

• “I think the difference is that in a lot of dating books, they say to get the ring and the relationship will follow. And it's just the opposite. It's having that relationship and getting the ring.” - Benjamin 
• “Core values are really what make up the matrix of our being.” - Benjamin
• “I think it's always possible to navigate to the goodness of the other person and to have the idea that both people, even on either end of the spectrum, have the same goal. Which is to do good in the world, and hopefully leave it a better place.” - Benjamin
• “It would be very, very difficult for two people who have diverging core values to be in an intimate relationship.” - Benjamin 
• “Being the guardian of someone's soul also means that the other person deeply wants to be the Guardian of Your Soul. So it's that mutual connection, we never want to live someone else's dream.” - Lisa 
• “I don't think that opposites attract. I think having two people that have both feet in the world and are on the same page is the best combination of all.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• What is a boundary, and how do you know what your boundaries are? 
• What to do when someone keeps testing or not respecting your boundary. 
• Boundaries are not a one size fits all thing, and we have to learn how to communicate what ours are in a relationship. 
• Men don’t like being told what to do (especially from women) so how do you tell him your boundary in a firm but loving manner? 
• Don’t forget! Boundaries can change over time.
• What should you do when you want to connect on the phone but he wants to text? 

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Mentioned:

don Miguel Ruiz 

John Gottman

Attached 

Quotes

• “Anytime you have a limit, a line that you need to draw between you and another person, that's creating a boundary.” - Lisa
• “You need to let other people know where your boundaries are. You cannot expect that they are using the same playbook in life as you.” - Lisa
• “Boundaries are not one size fits all.” - Lisa
•  “Men don’t like to be told what to do. Especially from a woman.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Annette talks about what held her back from originally signing up with Lisa, and why she decided to go all in. 
• What made working with Lisa and Benjamin different for Annette compared to all the other self growth programs she has done? 
• The characteristics and qualities we expect from a man, we have to embody first. 
• What made sharing within the group of other strong, badass women so powerful for Annette? 
• Annette talks about how she opened up her heart and forgave herself for poor past decisions and her part in unhealthy relationships.
• The work Annette did has also positively affected her career and the way she shows up in the world. 

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Mentioned:

Quotes

• “I can't expect my Guardian of my Soul to give me everything on my wish list. If I'm not willing to be the wish list myself.” - Annette
• “I’m not going to settle until I feel home.” - Annette
• “The guy is going to come. I know he’s coming.” - Annette
• “You guys coach from your soul and your heart.” - Annette
• “How lucky is my life that I just need the right guy?” - Annette

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Laurie watched Lunch with Lisa for a few months - what made her decide to take action and sign up for coaching, and what are the ways it paid off? 
• Laurie’s training as a therapist allowed her to be fully aware and conscious through the process, making her a quick and agile learner. 
• How did Laurie’s profile stand out to Jim and what set her apart from other women? 
• Jim talks about the year-long break he took from dating to work on himself, and how it mirrors the inner work Laurie was doing on herself that made them really click once they came together. 
• As the Guardian of Jim’s Soul, Laurie makes space for him to be himself, and in turn, Jim deeply appreciates and does the same for her. 
• Jim describes how Laurie’s general energy and the way she communicated gave him that “old school” feeling he’s always been yearning for.
• Laurie talks about how she let Jim know in a light way that she appreciated consistency, and how him showing up and being there for her is such a turn on. 

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Mentioned:

Quotes

• “I never in a million years imagined it could be this good.” - Laurie 
• “Not only was I looking for the Guardian of My Soul, but I wanted to be the Guardian of somebody else’s Soul.” - Laurie 
• “We were very comfortable with each other, we could just be ourselves and let it flow. I hate to say it, but it was so easy.” - Jim 
• “I didn't know that a relationship could be this wonderful.” - Laurie 
• “I am creating a space for him to feel really safe, and to let him know all the time how much I love him. And we both do that all the time.” - Laurie 
• “A lot of women just don't know how to make space for a man.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Find out the two different types of exclusive relationships: monogamous and progressive dating.
• How working with Lisa and Benjamin can help you focus on getting into a progressive relationship and find a partner who is ready to get Emotionally Naked with you.
• What are the consequences of being in a monogamous relationship for someone with an anxious attachment style? 
• How can you tell if the person you're dating is ready for forward movement, or if they’re just making excuses and stringing you (and the relationship) along? 
• Benjamin explains his desire to take things slow when first meeting Lisa, and how that allowed them to co-create a relationship built on trust, friendship, and vulnerability. 
• Invested time and shared experiences do not equal deep emotional vulnerability. 
• In a progressive relationship, both partners make conscious choices to integrate their daily lives and they find time to be together.

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Mentioned:

Quotes: 

• “Distance can seem like a very viable excuse, but in the end, for two people to bring their lives together, they are going to have to find a way to work with it.” -Lisa 
• “There has to be a willingness on both sides to work together to figure it out.” 

- Lisa

• “Often, people mistake the time invested with deepening emotional vulnerability.” - Benjamin
• “In a monogamous relationship, someone settles for less than what they are looking for. It’s easy to settle into a routine and not have it go anywhere. Not planning for the future, getting vulnerable, or integrating into each other’s life.” 

- Lisa 

• “In an anxious-avoidant dynamic, they think there is a connection when the passion and intensity is really fear and desperation.” - Lisa

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• What is your “frenemy” voice, and how is it holding you back? 
• How to silence your inner critic and turn down that critical, judgemental voice. 
• It takes time to integrate new behaviors that align yourself with your joy, but ooh boy, is it worth it!
• When we're hard on ourselves, we also tend to be hard on others.
• Men can pick up on if we are radiating joy and happiness, and can also sense when we feel insecure and need constant reassurance. 
• What does it look like to learn from joy rather than from pain? 
• How a coach (and especially Lisa’s Emotionally Naked Dating course) can help you learn to find your place of joy. 

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Mentioned:

Marianne Williamson

Quotes

• “It's not up to you what you learn, but only whether you learn through joy, or through pain.” - Marianne Williamson 
• “I think if you're not really authentically radiating joy, and happiness and positivity and self-acceptance, they're going to pick up on that.” 
• “I started learning through joy. I started being more loving and more self-accepting and more patient with myself. I knew that it would take time to integrate these new behaviors, but I also knew that with time and with awareness, I could start to do it differently.” 
• “It's very, very difficult for us to see ourselves the same way other people see us because we're not objective.”

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