Today’s anti-resolution is to Stop Being Nice.

Wut?!

Despite the fact that women have been socialized to be nice above all else, it's not actually a very noble goal, as my co-host this week, Terri Trespicio, breaks down today. Does that mean you should go out and let your a-hole flag fly? Or become outright mean? Goodness, no. It just means you set your sights on something different--something that takes a lot less energy than being nice AND that gives you more energy, because it's gratifying.

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Today’s surprising strategy for a better new year is to Un-plan Your Life. Which, depending on how much of a planner you are, may sound like just a completely ludicrous idea. BUT, as this week's co-host, Terri Trespicio, will talk us through--plans change all the time. Multiple times. Especially in our new pandemic reality. (I can’t tell you how many trips I have booked and canceled in the last six months.) And sometimes, even when your plans work out, you've put so much stock in them that you can feel lost now that they're no longer on the horizon. So what do you do instead? 

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In honor of the year we just had, and how grueling it has been in terms of stress and uncertainty and the sheer volume of decisions we’ve had to make on a daily basis, I want to approach this new year’s season a little differently. 

Instead of reflecting, and setting goals--both of which are great to do and if you love doing ‘em, good for you do NOT let me stop you--I am dedicating this week’s episodes to the theme Un-Do 2022: 5 Surprising Strategies for a Better Year. 

I just think we’ve all had enough of “I’ve just gotta do this” or “let’s do this” thinking. Given where we are at this point in time, let’s NOT do. Or rather, let’s UN-do, and make way for a more nuanced and personal path to emerge. 

Something else that’s different about this week is that I’ve got a co-host: my good friend Terri Trespicio, author of the brand new book Unfollow Your Passion and my go-to source for advice that flies in the face of conventional wisdom.

First up: Unsubscribe to those sneaky ideas that are gumming up the works in that beautiful brain of yours.

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Today’s big idea is actually a really tiny little thing that can help you come into the present moment and feel supported. And that really tiny little thing is to bring the soles of your feet to the floor. Seriously, it's a tiny thing with a massive footprint. (SO sorry for that awful pun!)

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Your body is your friend and your passport to being present. Because while your mind can hop all over the place in time--in to the future, back in to the past, into hypothetical situations and daydreams--your body is always. Here. Right. Now. Here's how to meet up with your body and enjoy each other's company in this moment. Sooooo dreamy.

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Your ears are a portal to the present moment, because listening well is basically meditating. It’s focusing your awareness on one particular point--in this case, what you can hear--and it gets your mind into a quiet and receptive state, which keeps it from running off in to the future or wandering back into the past. Today, you're going to make like a human tape recorder and listen like perhaps you've never listened before! PLUS: some of the things preschoolers hear when they do this exercise.

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A great way to settle into the present moment is to focus on your powers of observation. It’s also perfect for observing the winter solstice, which is today! Solstice means “standing still of sun” and on this day it’s like we’re suspended between two realities, of the light going away, and the light coming back. So sitting still and just seeing what you can see is actually a great way to honor this particular moment in time. Let's just see what there is to see, shall we?

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Eating is something you do every day. It’s tasty. AND it can be a portal into a calmer state of mind. The catch is, eating probably isn’t going to help you be present unless you decide that you want it to be. Otherwise, you’ll probably revert to just getting the food in your mouth without much thought. ALSO: a story about how I ate mindfully with 500 other people in a theater in New York City.

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Setting an intention before you head into any kind of holiday situation, whether that’s a family gathering, or doing some kind of chore, or shopping, or traveling, can help you achieve those twin goals of reducing stress and enjoying more. 

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Listen, I get that there is a lot of work that goes into holiday celebrations and it is so natural and tempting to kind of groan your way through them or talk about how you hate them. You may not feel 100% at peace with all the stuff you’ve got to do all the time, but even just remembering that you could choose to accept that this is just part of it can help you get to a place where you’re not hating every minute. 

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