First Man (2017) is a “documentary” with an interesting relationship to scientific facts and a disturbing view of human nature. It follows human evolution through four reconstructed ancestors: an early beta cuck ape from Spain; a Tate stan basal hominin from Chad; an ancestral alpha mogger from South Africa; and a brainmaxxing sigma arsonist from China. Join us as we break down the silly walks, unnecessarily blurred monkey genitals, and (content warning!) graphic sexual assault.

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