Fitz in the Morning

The Mountain is out on this glorious Northwest morning and Ryder wishes he was in a tank top for “Sun’s Out, Guns Out”. Fitz is looking for a Mullet Specialist before he cuts his hair. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Denny’s is offering a bacon bouquet for Father’s Day, a man has broken the world record for the most functioning gadgets on his Batman costume, Oregon cops caught a naked man after a 12-hour standoff on a railroad sign, a man arrested with cocaine on his nostrils says it wasn’t his, a guy threatens to kill his neighbor because he was mad his testicles hurt, and Match.com can use facial recognition to find someone who looks like your ex. In the Good Stuff, Fitz’s wife has another baby appointment today, and everything is looking good; and we hear about a woman celebrating her 100th Birthday with virtual visits. In the Fitz Files, Kelly Clarkson’s Hollywood ambitions broke up her marriage, Gwen Stefani is back on “The Voice”, Mama June admits to using $2500 of meth per day, and Josh Turner deos a Hank Williams Jr. cover “Country State of Mind” with Chris Janson. On Make Up or Break Up, Kayla from Olympia says her husband Joe is making their son fat with too much junk food and not enough exercise. For Father’s Day we want to hear about the time you “Saw Your Dad _____ And Never Told Him”, like Fitz’s dad adjusting the thermostat in his skivvies, and Maya from University Place seeing her dad sweet-talking his car. Playlist Profiling is Greg from Island County. Are Alexa and Siri reliable for emergencies? Drew says sort of but Fitz says that’s not good enough.

It took Fitz three days to notice Claire got her hair done, and yes, it was a completely legal King County Phase 1.5 Haircut. Meanwhile, Fitz wants to take advantage of his long Quarantine hair and grow a Mullet! Coronavirus has ended the 7-11 Free Slurpee Day. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man is charged for farting on a cop (and we debate whether COVID is passed by toots), a man is arrested for throwing White Claw at cops, a man on peyote is arrested for trying shooting the moon with a gun and there has been a sausage attack. In the Hourly Bulletin, SDOT configure barriers around CHOP for traffic lanes, residents in CHOP are concerned police don’t respond, Fremont Brewery closes after worker tests positive for Coronavirus, Governor says virus is rampaging in Eastern Washington. In the Fitz Files, Lady A’s name change is a problem for Seattle singer Lady A, Hallmark is getting ready for Christmas in July and Garth Brooks has a new song about unity. In The Good Stuff, we hear an adorable video of a little boy who is so polite he always thanks his momma for anything she gives him. All Jacked Up includes Claire’s cat eating her hair, April from Federal Way who loves wearing medical masks to smell her own breath, and Antonio from Port Angeles who named his twin boys Mario and Luigi. In honor of Father’s Day, “Get Mad Like Your Dad” and call us with your best impression of your Dad when he’s angry. Today’s Troop Salute is Corporal Donald J Shipman USMC. Drew is having a Midweek Crisis as his internet-ordered Laser Flashlight still has not arrived and the company is insisting it’s in transit and refusing to give him a refund.

Fitz thinks he’s the only person in the Northwest who hasn’t gotten a haircut; Drew hasn’t either but his hair never actually moves. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, scientists says dozens of intelligent alien species could be living in our galaxy, new sexy robots can carry on conversations, and studies show millennials eat sugary breakfast cereals but we say every generation has. Fitz is upset we all don’t know the lyrics to “Men in Black” because everyone should; Caller Lisa says she loves Fitz, but sorry, can’t back him on this one. In the Hourly Bulletin, Seattle bans police chokeholds and crowd control weapons, King County ready to apply for Phase 2, arrest made in road rage shooting, cell phone service disrupted nationwide, and a local Coronavirus survivor gets a $1.1 million hospital bill. We randomly discuss Bidets and whether Jason Aldean has one. In the Fitz Files, Kelly Clarkson’s crew ransacked her studio set to put it in her LA house, Kenny Chesney is rescheduled for Century Link with FGL and Old Dominion, CMA Fest is cancelled but will have two TV specials, and Luke Bryan’s kids are in his new video. In The Good Stuff, a man plays his bagpipes every night for his neighborhood. In Make Up or Break Up, Maureen from Mill Creek is suspicious of how much time her boyfriend Kevin spends on the phone with his female boss. Bethany’s Baby Blog has Fitz’s wife about to pop; she at 31 weeks and really exhausted but needs to hang in there for 6 more weeks. Playlist Profiling is Lyndsey from Lake Stevens! The Best Revenge: a woman being harassed by the driver of the car behind her in line at a McDonalds drive-thru paid for that’s driver’s meal, looking like a “pay-it-forward”, but then actually took all the food.

Fitz and Claire are running away together to Hawaii, Hallmark Movie Style. Fitz’s daughter overcharged him for his son’s birthday cake. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a nude jogger is spotted on trails in North Carolina, a group recalculating the Mayan Calendar has the new end of the world on June 21, a Minnesota woman is arrested for stealing $5000 worth of frozen gopher feet, and a New York woman intentionally coughs on someone’s food when called out for not wearing a mask. Claire went to Oregon over the weekend but screened her wife’s family for COVID protocol before entering the house; Ryder is upset that Fitz isn’t giving her any trouble like he is Ryder. In the Hourly Bulletin, Seattle’s CHAZ/CHOP has national media attention, there’s a ground beef recall for possible e.Coli, a Kittitas County murder suspect is captured, 24-Hour Fitness is closing in some Washington locations, and Chuck E Cheese may be closing for good. Watch out, here comes a Dad Joke! In The Fitz Files, Bachelorette Alabama Hannah saves a man from drowning, Hank Williams Jr.’s daughter passes away in a car wreck and the Zac Brown Band has a new song. In The Good Stuff, a couple married 67 years but separated for months because of Covid-19 had a surprise reunion. Carly Pearce calls from the jogging trail and talks about the song DNA of “I Hope You’re Happy Now”. At What Age Do You Turn Into Your Father? Fitz has a list of the signs. Today’s Troop Salute is Ronny Carroll of the US Army and US Air Force. Ryder is looking at vacation accommodations for an upcoming trip to the beach but Drew is concerned his main requirement is good Wifi. Wheel of Wake Up finds us calling Ben from Sales at 4:00 am. Monday Motivation has uplifting quotes to get your week started right.

Fitz and Ryder are rocking Athleisure Pajamas, which feels just right for a Friday Bull-Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, men going bald have a risk for more severe coronavirus symptoms linked to testosterone, the newest Tik Tok Trends include mom’s spilling water on babies to film their reaction and women pranking men by making them order fake Starbucks’ drinks called “pinkedy drinkedy”, and Hot Pants are back in fashion. On Stream It or Skip It, Drew recommends “Curon”, “F is for Family Season 4”, “Wind Talkers”, and “School House Rock” on Disney+. In the Hourly Bulletin, a Tacoma woman is arrested on federal arson charges from demonstrations, Washington ESD has new timeline for getting unemployment claims on track, and Washington Schools release plan for fall including masks and distancing. In the Fitz Files, Kelly Clarkson says quarantine killed her marriage, the next Bachelor is Matt James and Creed from the Office is releasing new music; he was in the 60’s rock band The Grass Roots. In the Good Stuff some college students start a charity to help farmers get unused food out to food banks and pay their workers. Lady Antebellum is Now Lady A; Fitz reads us their statement about why. Insta-Therapy has Freddy from Mill Creek needing advice because his best friend is marrying Freddy’s ex and wants Freddy to be the Best Man. Believe It or Not includes Sarah from Edmonds whose sister was a ring girl for Conor/Khabib and Colton from Redmond whose dad keeps his amputated toe in a jar. Can you can tell the difference between a COVID cough and a healthy cough; Fitz plays us sounds from the Mayo Clinic. The Weekend Party Preview includes Go Karts and Movies at the Blue Fox Drive-In, Camping in State Parks in Phase 2 Counties, and Point Defiance Zoo and Northwest Trek open next week with tickets on sale now.

Fitz cleaned out his car for once and found a 3-month-old milkshake and some ancient fruit roll-ups. Seattle makes National News with the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone but Fitz’s parents are worried the whole city is under siege. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, studies show men go a little insane when they go bald, a high school holding graduation outside had the sprinklers come on, and a New Zealand TV spot teaches parents to responsibly explain porn to kids. Ryder’s new Joker face mask is freaking people out. In the Hourly Bulletin, Seattle’s Mayor and Washington’s Governor are in a Twitter beef with POTUS over the CHAZ, a man who threatened to shoot Seattle Police faces federal charges and the West Seattle Bridge Committee is considering options to replace the bridge including a tunnel. In the Fitz Files, Ryan Seacrest will go back to New York for “Live with Kelly”, Garth Brooks is hosting an event at 300 Drive-In Theatres, “Empire” Magazine names Indiana Jones the greatest movie hero and “Goonies 2” has a very determined writer. In the Good Stuff, a couple whose newly adopted cat “Cheese” went up a tree with a massive storm on the way live-streamed his rescue by a tree-cutter. On Make Up or Break Up Alexa from Shelton is upset boyfriend Ryan spent their cancelled vacation money to jack up his truck. We have all been seeking sources of Joy in the past months and a new poll says the #1 way is Family Dinners. Playlist Profiling is Angie from Puyallup. Green Beret Bob calls to make sure everything is OK with Fitz and his family because of the news showing the city “under siege” but it becomes clear his real concern is whether Dino’s Bar in Renton is open yet.

You know it’s early when even your dog can’t be bothered to get up with you. Fitz has a new family member – a Guinea Pig named Stanley! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a delivery driver is accosted by an old man who says he’s trespassing while another old man accuses the first man of trespassing, a girl tries to save a squirrel from drowning in a kiddie pool, and North Carolina is the new Florida with a woman starting a fire to spur a slow emergency room and a man arrested with drugs crammed in his belly button. Drew’s creepy neighborhood Ice Cream Man is back. In the Hourly Bulletin, demonstrators take over Seattle City Hall, Pierce County barber shops reopen, Chief Best meets with protesters near the East Precinct, Alderwood Mall is open, Starbucks took a $3 billion hit from the Pandemic and MLS returns in July in Orlando. In Fitz Files, “Cops'' is cancelled, “Fight Island” is really happening, the Dalai Lama drops an album, and Blake and Gwen will marry after COVID rules ease. In the Good Stuff, a 4-year-old who just completed cancer treatment requests a party full of scary clowns! We are all so All Jacked Up, like Mary from Buckley who washes her dishes in the nude and Jodie from Gig Harbor who must kiss her Luke Bryan poster before leaving the house every day. Are Florida Georgia Line Music Thieves? They are being accused of stealing Kane Brown’s “Short Skirt Weather” for their song “I Love My Country”. Fitz plays samples of both, and it sounds EXACTLY the same. We take your calls. Today’s Troop Salute is Navajo Code Talker Samuel Tom Holiday USMC. Claire is Breaking Quarantine with a trip to Oregon and Ryder doesn’t get why Fitz isn’t freaking on her like he freaks out on him. In Ryder’s Quest For Country, Fitz plays him some older Country songs and tries to get him to name the artists.

It’s a typical Northwest rainy morning but Drew swears it never used to rain in June. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman who went into an intense spin while being airlifted is suing, a guy who saw a woman dumping trash on the road brings it back to her house, and we have a symphonic tune for states legalizing pot. Fitz thinks Claire’s Book Club is actually an attempt to Hook Up; the amount of wine consumed does not help Claire’s case. In the Hourly Bulletin, Seattle Police remove barricades around East Precinct and it stayed peaceful, Seattle mulls police funding numbers, a boater spots a rare fish near Port Angeles, frustrations continue over delayed unemployment, and a petition to remove a political billboard gets 73,000 signatures. The Test Launch of “SconeHome One” is in jeopardy due to weather. Drew STILL hasn’t received the laser flashlight he ordered off Instagram and thinks he’s been scammed. In the Fitz Files, the “Bill and Ted: Face the Music” trailer drops, we hear a list TV shows cancelled and new ones brewing including a reboot of “Walker, Texas Ranger”, and Vanessa Bryant sues for “hundreds of millions” over Kobe’s death. In The Good Stuff, Fitz celebrates his dog Suzie Lou’s 12th birthday, and a little girl who asked her daddy to join her playing in a mud puddle goes viral. On Make Up or Break Up, Roger from Spanaway is feeling very weird about his girlfriend Melissa hanging out with his Mom so much. “The Curse of Snohomish County” may have lifted for Drew after he got something unexpected for free. Playlist Profiling is Nurse Christie from Gig Harbor! Ryder always feels the need to share random bad and irrelevant news from the internet when the mics are off.

Feels like we are living in different Phases but somehow only Ryder got a haircut. Thankfully, all Phases have Pumpkin Bread! In the What Are You Kidding stories, “meat cleaver massage” is now a thing, a “Karen” freaks on a mom for letting her kid drive a riding toy without a driver’s license, the newly-refurbished Golden Gate Bridge makes a ghostly sound, and a bar uses bedsheet ghosts as social distancing. Sam Hunt’s “Hard to Forget” leads Fitz to hold a Yodel-Off between us all. In the Hourly Bulletin, Sunday protest turns violent against Seattle police, a man drives into a crowd of protesters and shoots someone on Capitol Hill, masks now required for employees in businesses across the state, local shopping malls are preparing to open. In the Fitz Files, Ryan Seacrest’s health scare may lead him to stop travelling even after quarantine, Lizzo plays flute for “Graduating 2020”, the real band behind “Tiger King'' gets a record deal but it’s more “Tiger King”, ABC has “Bachelor Best Of”s starting tonight. In The Good Stuff, a police officer stopped during a protest to speak to a little girl who was afraid of him and let her know that he was there to protect her, and she is OK to protest. Elmer Fudd has lost his gun, as Warner Brothers removes it from new Bugs Bunny cartoons and replaces it with a scythe; we take your calls. Who In The Group Is Most Likely To…sacrifice everyone else in a Zombie Apocalypse or be the least affected by “Save The Dogs” Ads on TV? Today’s Troop Salute is Captain Arthur Jackson USMC. On Wheel of Wake Up we called a random coworker, Carlie in Promotions, at 4am just because. Ryder and Drew are trying to teach Shade how to use Tinder; Fitz and Claire make fun but, well, yeah, look over their shoulders. Monday Motivation has some uplifting quotes to get your day started right.

It’s National Donut Day and we are all about the giant king-sized maple bar that QFC brought by for our Friday Bull-Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Australia’s Prime Minister politely asks a crowd “get off his lawn” because he just reseeded it, a couple is arrested for faking the wife’s disappearance, crotchless jeans are a thing, and police respond to a texting fight. On Stream it or Skip It Drew recommends the latest movies and TV show dropping this weekend on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO and Disney+ like “13 Reasons Why Final Season” and “A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood”. In the Hourly Bulletin, seventh night of protesting is peaceful, new coronavirus testing sites are open in Seattle, 90,000 workers are still held up for unemployment benefits for Fraud ID verification, and WSP captures a Seattle murder suspect speeding through Kittitas County. Drew had an embarrassing moment at a Drive-Thru when his car seat broke. In the Fitz Files, Morgan Wallen shuts down his Twitter, the Geico Ratt commercial puts “Round and Round” back on the charts and Kane Brown drops a beautiful new song “Worldwide Beautiful” with proceeds to Boys and Girls Clubs. In The Good Stuff, a soldier surprises his mother after 18 months overseas and a little boy runs around excited because his daddy also comes home from overseas. Scotty McCreery calls and talks about what Fitz calls the Musical DNA of his song “In Between”. We need your Insta-Therapy help for P1 Jeremy from Tacoma who has a female best friend who wants to be “more” but he doesn’t. Fitz can’t believe how huge his pregnant wife has gotten and talks about the size of his twin babies and plans for help when they arrive. Know-it-Alls Drew and Claire played trivia with teams from our company with mixed results. Believe It or Not includes Kirstin with an eerie birthmark and Jesse who won “The Price is Right”. The Weekend Party Preview includes newly opening Farmers Markets, Free Fishing Weekend and yes, Skiing!