Fitz in the Morning

As “Be a Light Week” continues, Fitz and Claire discuss Northwest Bird Song. Fitz’s son graduated yesterday and he hasn’t seen him since. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a senator accidentally went topless on a Zoom meeting when she forgot she was still connected while undressing, a man denying paternity had someone else take his DNA test, a restaurant put a shark in its aquarium for reopening but the shark ate all the other fish, and a granny kicked the crap out of a burglar who turned out to be her grandson. Ryder calls Fitz at all hours of the night to get him to watch Twitch. In the Hourly Bulletin, Wednesday’s Seattle protest was the biggest yet, six counties apply for Phase 3 and two more are eligible, Seattle Schools are considering partial distance learning next school year, and the USDA confirms a Murder Hornet found last week in WA was a queen. Fitz has a great/bad Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, “Bill and Ted” address the real San Dimas High School graduation, the AMC Theatre chain says it might not come back from COVID, Kane Brown did a cover of “Stand By Me” on “CMT Honoring Our Heroes” and Carrie Underwood is making a Christmas album. Laurie from Snohomish Wins the $1000 Minute! In The Good Stuff, after violent protesters in Austin destroy a homeless guy’s camp, citizens rally to buy him new belongings. Make Up or Break Up has Amber from Edmonds upset at her boyfriend Kevin who has been reaching out to his Ex; Kevin says he needs some important family pictures that only she has. If you’re struggling to keep your language clean, Fitz has a list of handy alternative curse words. Playlist Profiling is Deputy Mike from Kirkland. This Week on Throwin’ Shade: Shade Throws Light!

Be a Light Week continues with positive stories and sound clips from across the nation. Fitz teaches us how to bring more birds and beautiful creatures to our homes by singing like Snow White. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, this is what it sounds like when badgers fight, three brothers let a black widow spider bite them because they thought it would turn them into Spider-Man, and people with sneezing fetishes hate masks. Fitz’ son Cooper is back from Texas, just in time to graduate from high school this morning, but he never told Fitz or Bethany about it so Fitz calls and wakes him up. In the Hourly Bulletin, protests and curfews continue in Northwest cities, Governor extends moratorium on evictions, five more counties file for Phase 2, a report of an armed man at the Seattle VA was a mistake, and Crystal Mountain opens some runs. Drew is all about his new Air Fryer. We get a Scones in Space Update and Fisher is sending us scones! In the Fitz Files, Carol Baskin’s missing husband’s will was forged, Lea Michelle apologizes for being a diva, and Garth Brooks shines a light on goodness and truth. In the Good Stuff, Fitz plays some positive audio from peaceful protests around the country and we tell each other “I Love You”. All Jacked Up includes Drew peering into passing cars to see what people are up to and Eric who ate a 6-year-old pork chop. TV Theme Songs make us feel better, so we all play and sing our favorites like “Knight Rider”, “Facts of Life”, “Golden Girls” and “Drake and Josh”. Today’s Troop Salute is Jack Bennetts USMC. Fitz has a Ridicu-List of 5 List of CDC recommendations about what NOT to do when reopening your business.

Be A Light Week continues, and the sky is putting on a beautiful light show this morning! In the What Are You Kidding Me Stories, a beer company is looking for a Chief Hiking Officer to get $20,000 to hike the Appalachian Trail with beer so we nominate Ryder, a woman is filmed looting a perfectly pristine cheesecake from the Seattle Cheesecake Factory and a man working out when looters broke into a gym keeps on going on the elliptical. In the Hourly Bulletin, peaceful protests as well as vandalism continue, Bellevue Police say some thieves and looters are from organized crime, the FBI is asking your help identify looting suspects, Pierce County says they are ready to move to COVID Phase 2, MLB owners and players are still trying to put together a plan to play this summer, and the Seahawks will donate $500,000 to charities from the Players Equity and Justice Fund. In the Fitz Files, Carol Baskin is awarded Joe Exotic’s GW Zoo in a court settlement, Disney World is using Star Wars Storm Troopers to enforce social distancing, Carrie Underwood tries the TikTok ghost hunting filter at her cabin, and Disney may buy the XFL. In The Good Stuff, a middle school in Minneapolis was already going to extra lengths to make sure students were fed during the pandemic; when rioting started to affect that effort, thousands of people responded to keep the food going to the kids. On Make Up or Break Up, Nicole from Issaquah says her husband Josh is so overbearing on their teenage daughter’s social life the girl is preparing to move out state after high school. Playlist Profiling is Glenna from Auburn! Fitz gives us an update on our Scone Space program: SconeNik One.

This is “Be A Light” Week. Fitz wants everyone listening to know we are a sounding board for you, and we will listen to you, and while we may not understand everything you feel because we have not had your personal experience, we want you to be heard and, above all, respected. While the Hourly Bulletin does cover the peaceful protests along with the widespread looting curfews and National Guard presence, we also hear in The Good Stuff about Flint, Michigan, County Sheriff Chris Swanson who along with and his officers joined peaceful protesters in their march and they gladly accepted him. And we hear from Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms reacting to the tensions in her city as she navigates being a mother to four young black men. In the Fitz Files, Thomas Rhett and his wife speak about being an interracial family, Dan and Shay break their social media silence to talk about educating our children, Taylor Swift goes directly after President Trump on Twitter, and the Garth Brooks Bio Doc “The Road I’m On” is now on Netflix. Today’s Troop Salute is AO3 Ziven Meyer of the US Navy. And yes, we have some Monday Motivation to inspire you and lift your spirits.

Between Space Force, SpaceX and Sconenik-One, we are ready for an Out of This World Weekend! We get it started with a Friday Bull-Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man named Ben Dover is arrested, a mom accidentally flashes her kid’s 1st grade class on Zoom, a naked guy vandalizes a high school, and a Japanese Theme Park’s COVID rules include no screaming on rollercoasters. On Stream It or Skip It, Drew recommends “Space Force” on Netflix, “The Big Fib” on Disney + and HBO Max with “Friends” and “Looney Tunes”. In the Hourly Bulletin, Pierce and Snohomish push the state to get to Phase 2, the state recovers $300 million in stolen Unemployment funds, a suspected burglar is killed by an Everett homeowner, and new data shows half of new COVID cases in WA are people under 40. In the Fitz Files Morgan Wallen’s mug shot is popular with the ladies, Tom Cruise’s space movie has a director, and Little Nas X jams with Elmo on Elmo’s new HBO Max Talk Show. In The Good Stuff, a 7-year-old makes a backyard Prom for his teenage nanny. A Sconenik-One Launch Update has Ryder working on the hardware side with a rocket and weather balloon on order and Drew working on the regulatory package with paperwork filed with Air Traffic Control and the FAA. The Sunday Drive is Back and Fitz wants to know where P1’s love to drive. Fitz proves how well we all know each other with “Who in the Group Is Most Likely To…?” Is it weird that Ryder invited Fitz’s wife to float in his pool to relieve her pregnancy pains? The Weekend Party Preview includes the Blue Fox Drive-In Theatre in Oak Harbor, the Puyallup Farmer’s Market in South Hill, and for new indoor activity ideas, the website MommyPoppins.com

It’s a Great American Rite of Passage as Fitz spent yesterday afternoon trying to get his son Cash’s remote control airplane out of a tree. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man angry that a burger restaurant reopened went there and threw sewage around, a man broke into a bank just to microwave a Hot Pocket, a man is arrested for a flip-flop fetish, and a bar in rural Texas has banned face masks. If you have been working from home, would you like to keep doing it? A new study says you probably do. In the Hourly Bulletin, the state Unemployment system is struggling to keep up and frustration is soaring, two local hikers die in separate incidents, 737 Max production restarts, and the Woodland Park Zoo mourns death of a 50-year-old Ape. Ryder explains the TikTok Trend of freezing cereal. In the Fitz Files, HBO Max is out but not on Roku, Lori Loughlin and her husband want to go to jail and get it over with, Tom Brady is selling his $300k Cadillac, and the British Press is attacking Kate now. The Good Stuff is about our Bickford Ford Community Hero Maureen McKenney from Port Townsend who makes masks for medical and nursing home workers. On Make Up or Break Up, Reese from Federal Way is frustrated that her roommate Jeffrey has been bringing home all kinds of women throughout quarantine. It’s National Burger Day and we want to know what you think is the Best Burger in the Northwest! Howie Mandel says with everyone obsessively cleaning and being afraid of germs, they should now understand how he feels all the time. Playlist Profiling is Julie from Tacoma! And, My Oh My, Shade is Throwin’ Shade about Missing Sports!

We are so excited about the SpaceX launch today - the first NASA Astronaut launch from US soil in nearly Ten Years – that Fitz spends today’s show refining plans for our camera-loaded orbiting space scone: Scone-Nik One! In the What Are You Kidding stories, a rumor in China claims Americans turn COVID casualties into hamburgers; a priest social-distance-baptizes babies with a Super Soaker, a man running from cops ran into a barbed wire fence, and a woman protests wearing nothing but face masks as a bikini but we aren’t sure what she’s protesting. Drew got a blank fortune in a cookie and Fitz thinks it’s a bad sign about his new home. In the Hourly Bulletin, the Governor and Department of Health say not all counties will be ready for Phase 2 June 1, the search for a missing Kent hunter is now a criminal investigation, a bear kills two goats near Covington, the meat shortage is making life tougher for restaurants, Murder Hornet warning signs posted at trail heads were fake. In the Fitz Files, Carrie Underwood and her husband are doing a show about love, life, and religion, “America’s Got Talent” has a contestant who wrongly imprisoned for 37 years, Stormy Daniels stars in a Space Force Comic Book, and Washington Stars like Pearl Jam and Ciara are doing a COVID Benefit concert. In The Good Stuff, Una Vida Tequila is giving free bottles of tequila to out-of-work bar workers. All Jacked Up includes Ryder using dead fish as puppets, Nikki Zooming without pants and Katie who thinks this all may just be a Matrix Coma. Today’s Troop Salute is Thomas E. Cain of the US Army. Fitz’s pregnant wife demands so much Sonic Crushed Ice that she ordered an Ice machine, we hear about weird things you recently ordered like Chase, who drunk-bought a $180 Sauna Bag. Fitz has a list of the Happiest Songs of All Time but disagrees with #1, “Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO, thinking it should be “Happy” by Pharrell.

It’s Ryder the Young’n’s Birthday – soon we’ll be calling him Ryder the Midlin’. Fitz’s son Cash also had a Birthday and was treated to a personal tour of JBLM! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Florida guys make trouble filming a rap video throwing out cash and firing real gunshots, a wanted felon is caught while livestreaming his day at the beach, an angry man who lives by a school put up a profane sign about the noise, and 140 people are exposed to Covid after two hair stylists worked while symptomatic. In the Hourly Bulletin, fatal crash closes I-5 in Mt Vernon, 40% of employees at a Vancouver fruit processing plant test positive for Covid, a Port Orchard Restaurant opened Monday in protest of the stay-at-home order, Tulalip Casino Reopens, explosions at a Gig Harbor Home, more free Covid Testing in Seattle and Tacoma, and Tiger, Phil, Peyton and Tom raised $20 million in a Covid Relief Golf Match but Tom split his pants. In the Fitz Files, Morgan Wallen arrested, Blake Shelton says “The Voice” music label doesn’t support their artists, John Krasinski sells “Some Good News” (and its YouTube list) to CBS, and Brittney had to quarantine 2 weeks to see her sons after visiting her mom. The Good Stuff is puppies as a program to train dogs for veterans with PTSD is back open. On Make Up or Break Up, Danielle from Puyallup says her boyfriend Luke claims to be a P1 but changes the station when music he doesn’t like comes on. A Tornado hit Fitz’s hometown during the Brad Paisley Zoom Party Friday and Brad himself ordered Momma Fitz to take cover; listener Connie who was also on the Zoom checks in. Playlist Profiling is Sam from Orting! Claire recounts her Lost Week with Vertigo. QVC Birthday Roulette for Ryder’s birthday gets him….a Ladies Denim Hawaiian Camp Shirt!

Loving these Holiday Weekends, Claire is ready to BBQ this weekend. Ryder is ready to stay up gaming all weekend for his Birthday. Fitz is adding the Gypsy moth to his list of Paranoia's. What Are You Kidding Me? A Swedish Restaurant claims to be the safest in the world because they only serve one customer at a time at a single table in the middle of a field. A man in Spain gave a psychic $212,000 to put a spell on the woman he wanted to love him…. It didn’t work, so he robbed her at her home, and was arrested. In Stream It or Skip It, Drew talks about Magic for Humans on Netflix, Upload on Amazon Prime, HULU Polar Opposites and Rocket Man, Prop Culture on Disney+ and It’s a Dog’s Life on Disney+. In the Bulletin Washington State has zeroed in on Fraudulent Unemployment claims. A Man assaulted workers at Uwajimaya in Renton over mask requirement. In County Wars Rob from Snohomish is up against Michelle from Clallam, who wins? Fitz has a list of what is popular. Margaritas, Kamikazes, and Old Fashioned, State By State. In the Fitz Files Some Celebrities have handed over their social media accounts to coronavirus experts including Hugh Jackman and Julia Roberts. Authorities found the body of professional wrestler Shad Gasperd, he saved his son, but drowned in a beach rip tide incident. In The Good Stuff, Covid-19 has effected everything. This father actually built a stage in his front yard so his daughter could experience walking for her College graduation. Have a Great Weekend.

Now that’s a proper rainy day out there. Ryder says he just showered in the rain, so we make fun of ryder for standing naked outside at his apartment. What Are You Kidding Me?! 42% of men have not even been asked if they are OK during this pandemic. A nurse in Russia has been disciplined for wearing a see-through PPE gown with nothing but underwear. The Fitz Singers Sing “I’ll Be OK” To Friends in Low Places. In The Bulletin its official! Seafair 2020 is OFF, Coronavirus reaches new record of over 5 million infections worldwide. County Wars was a slug-fest Tuesday King pulled into the lead, then Kitsap answered Yesterday morning, Then in the late game King came back for another win! Will the battle continue? Shade’s P1 Personal Traffic – Fitz didn’t feel like Shade’s traffic was thorough enough, so he asked the P1’s to text in the traffic they’re experiencing right now, and Shade read some of the highlights, like the coke can rolling down the road in Federal Way and the backups at the McDonalds drive through and the new Chick Fil A in Marysville… On County Wars – Ashley from Kitsap battles Carlton from King County, who wins?In the Fitz Files Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Plead Guilty in their College Admission Scandal. She’ll do 2 months in jail pay $150k and have 2 years supervised release, Kendal Jenner has to pay out $90K for her part in the Fyre festival scandal… But she made $250k, so not a terrible deal. In The Good Stuff Captain Thomas Moore in England, the 100 year old veteran who raised a ton of money for charity by walking his back yard, Just found out that he’s getting Knighted. On Make Up or Break Up Theresa from Port Orchard says boyfriend Marcus has gained WAY more that the Quaran-twenty. He’s getting fat, Marcus agrees that he’s gained a few, but it won’t be a problem once he’s back out in the workforce, He’ll go to the Gym and be back in shape in a week. Senator Maria Cantwell wants government rules on flights, Washington State Fair is scheduled to go on in September Bethany’s Baby Blog and More!