Fitz in the Morning

Drew woke up oddly concerned about what happens to all the cut-off hair from salons and barber shops, which leads Fitz to wonder what Drew has done with all the videos of Fitz asking Country Artists for hair samples. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman is arrested for throwing a burger at her boyfriend and hitting him in the head so Fitz tell us about chucking food at his old friend Phil, new data suggests peeing in your backyard can help save the world by greatly reducing water use from flushing, and a drunk guy got naked and “dropped a deuce” on the self-checkout machine at a grocery store. Today’s Good Stuff is our Bickford Ford Community Hero Juli Chavez, a speech therapist for disabled kids who has continued to help these kids and their families all throughout quarantine. In the Fitz Files, Tom Hanks rips people who don’t wear masks, “Beavis and Butthead” is coming back with Mike Judge back in charge, and a “Frosty the Snowman” Live Action movie will have Jason Momoa voicing the CGI Frosty. On Make Up or Break Up, Gina from Everett misses her “manly man” because her boyfriend Sean shaved his beard and refuses to grow it back. It’s Another Firecracker Parade – we had so much fun yesterday we throw another Virtual 4th of July Firecracker Parade today! Playlist Profiling is Kyler from Kent. Fitz asks us all what we think this area needs, and we all say more roads, except Claire, who thinks we need more trains and bike lanes and Fitz accuses her of wanting to take our trucks.

What a day we have in store for you because it’s National Joke Day, so look out for random Dad Jokes, and we hold the First Annual Fitz Firecracker Parade featuring YOU as the fireworks! Things to Look Forward to in July include a new “Unsolved Mysteries” series, Claire’s Birthday, and the “Red White and Bull” Music Festival this weekend! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Heinz is selling ketchup flavored ice cream (eww!), a recent poll says Americans prefer their steaks well done (more ewww!), a woman tickles her chicken to make it laugh, a man mortgages his home to pay for enlargement surgery, a pilot argues with an air traffic controller about restricted airspace and Drew tells a story about his buddy’s sunburn pus. In the Good Stuff, Claire lit a special candle on the anniversary of her Mom’s death, which in a quirk of the Jewish calendar was also her Mom’s birthday, and Ryder got a special new tattoo from his tattoo artist friend who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. In the Fitz Files, Jake Owen defends Chase Rice, Russell Dickerson does an adorable gender reveal, and Dan+Shay sing on Elmo’s talk show. All Jacked Up includes Courtney in Bremerton who smells her toenails, Stephanie who eats sandwiches crust first, and Parker from Everett who does yard work in the nude. In “2020 Said What Now?” Fitz has a list of sayings from this year that would not have made sense before “I sure enjoyed my drive-through birthday”, “I traded homemade bread for toilet paper” and “they wouldn’t let me in the bank because I wasn’t wearing a mask”. Today’s Troop Salute is Cody Gebo USAF. Fitz asks us some “Getting To Know You” questions and we learn Drew is the most likely to skip your funeral, Claire likes stupid card games, and Ryder will do anything for $5 bucks.

The mountains are so misty Claire and Drew launch into a Led Zeppelin song. Fitz had to sit outside the hospital with his little ones looking up at Mommy Bethany’s Maternity Room window because they aren’t allowed inside. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a new cologne claims to be the “smell of space”, an LA taco joint closes after customers abused employees who asked them to wear masks, we hear the most annoying hold music ever made (via Britney Spears Toxic!), a drunk driver is arrested on Sesame Street in Seabeck, and CVS will start selling makeup for men. In the Good Stuff, an Axe-Throwing Bar in San Diego recently allowed to reopen gave a free night to health care workers to let out their rage; Fitz wants to go a local rage room. In the Fitz Files, Chase Rice responds to his crowded concert backlash, Chris Janson says he didn’t mean to block Maren Morris on Twitter, Lori Loughlin gets kicked out of her Country Club, and more than 350,000 people went to the Garth Drive-In shows. In the $1000 Minute, Heather from Puyallup WINS! On Make Up or Break Up, Ben from Auburn says his girlfriend Angela wants to start an “Only Fans” page to replace the income she lost from being out of work for quarantine. The Curse of Snohomish County continues as Drew finds a huge pile of squirmy slugs at his new Monroe house, after finding a black widow spider and hearing about all the wildlife that could eat his little dog. Playlist Profiling is Megan from Graham. You Make The Call: “cancel culture” want to remove the “Star Spangled Banner” as our National Anthem; Fitz thinks it should be Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” and Ryder wants “Old Town Road.”

Fitz is on Super Daddy Patrol because Bethany will be in the hospital until she gives birth to their twins; for one of their weekend field trips, he took his little daughter to Kurt Cobain’s bench in Seattle. Drew thinks he saw a black widow spider in his house and we debate whether they live in Western Washington and what they really look like. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, one Karen goes crazy at Trader Joe’s after being told to leave for not wearing a mask, another Karen goes crazy at Starbucks accusing them of using digital registration as a precursor to the “mark of the beast,” there’s an uptick in men seeking ED help since quarantine, two elderly people stopped traffic in their motorized carts, and 300 Texas teens attended a beer pong party and officials are demanding they quarantine. In the Good Stuff, a woman gave birth to a healthy baby while standing in the parking lot of her natural birthing center with her Midwife getting out there just in time. In the Fitz Files, Chase Rice is getting heat for holding a crowded live concert in Tennessee, and “The Bachelorette” is going back into production but with some tweaks like a secluded location and quarantining everyone. What Are Your Family 4th of July Traditions? We talk about ours and then take your calls, like Rob, whose family shoot each other with roman candles, and Allison, who goes to Vegas with her girls. Today’s Troop Salute is Emily “Banzai” Thompson USAF. Bethany’s Baby Blog finds Bethany in the hospital until she gives birth to monitor her blood pressure, but she really misses the little ones at home. Costco is bringing back samples and we talk about how those samples have saved our lives many times. Monday Motivation gives you some motivating quotes to start your week right.

We are ready with our spill-proof mugs in case it gets crazy up in here with a Summertime Friday Bull Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a lunch lady is busted for shaking down elementary students for their lunch money, a guy is nabbed after hiding under women’s cars and grabbing their ankles, a man caught getting dirty with a cow claims she’d transformed into a beautiful woman and seduced him and a travel agent sends people off on cruises and robs their homes. In Stream It or Skip It, Drew recommends “Irresistible” On Demand, “Twilight Zone” on CBS All Access, “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” on Netflix, and “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days” and “Live Action Jungle Book” on Disney+. In the Fitz Files, Key Arena is now “Climate Pledge Arena”, a “Hannah Montana” fan is blowing up TikTok with a plot hole disruption theory, and Steve Raible is retiring today from KIRO 7 after 38 years. We need your Insta-Therapy help for Tara (not her real name) from Kent who says her best friend cheated on her fiancée and wants Tara to keep it quiet but the fiancée is Tara’s cousin. With Fitz’s wife getting ready to give birth to twins any week now, he quizzes us about raising children to see if we could be of any help. Believe it or Not includes Amy in Bonney Lake who is an attorney by day and “web cam girl” by night, and a caller who has a warning for Fitz because she was a surprise twin and thinks he should be braced for triplets. Are Millennials destroying weddings? Fitz thinks they are! The Weekend Party Preview includes Casey’s Batting Range in Port Angeles, King County Sport Courts, Disc Golf, and Hiking Trails, the Garth Brooks Drive-In Concert Saturday night, and Canlis is now showing Drive-In movies in their parking lot.

Ryder is all dressed up because he woke up at 2am and had time to get spruced-up, but Fitz is worried Ryder has a job interview to go back to Game Stop. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman assaults her boyfriend with a hot pizza, a 100-year-old snake handler who was bitten over 117 times has died of natural causes, a new TikTok trend has people throwing babies into pools to prove they float, a leech goes up a man’s penis and drinks a pint of blood before they get it out, and a man attacks another man with a sausage for refusing to sell him booze. In The Good Stuff, a local woman uses her stimulus check to make over 1200 lasagnas for her community and that leads us to talk about the best lasagna we’ve ever had. Claire is facing the monumental task of throwing things out before moving into Drew’s old house; she’s struggling with tossing out her CD collection and some novelty gifts like her Homer Simpson ice cube tray. In the Fitz Files, Eric Church’s new song challenges the Country industry to get back to singing “3 chords and the truth” about America, “Matrix 4” starts production in Berlin, Alex Trebek donates $500,000 toward a homeless shelter in Los Angeles, and a “Today Show” viewer criticizes Savannah Guthrie’s home COVID hair. On Make Up or Break Up, Damon from Bremerton says his girlfriend Angela is a total Daddy’s Girl and it’s starting to be a problem between them. Ryder’s Quest for Country continues with Fitz asking Ryder to “fill in the blank” on some legendary country song lyrics. Playlist Profiling is Jeff from Yelm! Throwin’ Shade has Shade throwin’ shade at the sun!

Merry Half-Christmas Everyone! We are exactly 6 months from Christmas Eve! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman upset people weren’t social distancing coughed on their baby, New Yorkers tired of nightly fireworks go to the Mayor’s house and honk their horns, teens who stole baby goats were caught when they posted pictures on social media, police catch a shooter whose name was on his license plates, and a cop who returned a call to a citizen about a suspicious car gets texted lewd pictures from that caller. In the Good Stuff, a 7-year-old boy who loves reading has started an online book club reading stories to other kids; we talk about our favorite books as kids. We discuss Governor Inslee’s decree of mandatory masks for the entire state; and would you walk through a disinfectant mist machine before going into a concert or sporting event? In the Fitz Files, Miley Cyrus has been sober for six months, the “All-In Washington” concert is tonight with Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews and more, and Rascal Flatts has a new song and they want your pictures for their video. In All Jacked Up, Ryder bounces in his pool to make his own wave pool, Kevin from Skagit drinks the juice from the pickle jar before eating the pickles, Dylan from Des Moines takes pics of his canker sores, and there’s lots more of you that are super Jacked Up. Fitz reminds you to download our App if you are having trouble with the signal while they fix our tower and then he asks Ryder to explain how to get the App in “Youngin’ Terms” that Great Aunt Genevieve can understand. Today’s Troop Salute is Quincy Salyer of the US Navy. We talk to the man who is bringing us the Garth Drive In Show. Fitz gives us some 1950’s advice on “How To Be A Good Wife”

Ryder fell asleep in his pool after a few cold beers and got sunburned; Fitz can’t believe Ryder got into that freezing cold pool. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a hungry weatherman thought he was being taped when he was caught talking live about his “Rumbly, Bumbly Tummy”, a Belgium man is caught by airport security smuggling cocaine in a fake “doo-dad”, Fitz panics at a new stat that raising a kid now costs about $250,000 (each!), a Florida man who owed $4000 in child support so he staged a robbery including stabbing himself is now in jail, the WHO announces a new record for the largest single day spike in new COVID cases, and an opera house reopens to an audience of potted plants. In the Good Stuff, a graduating opera student from Portland State was joined in the National Anthem by a professional opera singer, and Fitz’s wife had a good doctor’s appointment Monday. In the Fitz Files, Carly Pearce files for divorce from Michael Ray after only 8 months of marriage, Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow talk about their favorite “Friends” episodes, and we hear the song Kane Brown wrote for his little daughter he played on Father’s Day. In Make Up or Break Up, Tom from Lynwood is upset his girlfriend Tiffany is planning a girls’ trip without him after quarantine is over. With Claire planning to move into Drew’s old house in Renton, Drew describes some of the neighbors. Playlist Profiling is Tammy from Burlington! Fitz has a list of hand sanitizers that are poorly made and could cause you some medical problems. Luke Bryan sent a message to a fan with Cerebral Palsy who missed an opportunity to meet him at an Idol taping and her reaction is beautiful!

While Drew is operating on his “backup coffee”, Fitz and Claire have perfect cups, and Ryder is glad he drinks energy drinks. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Vancouver hospitals seeing an uptick in lock down groin injuries, sales of disposable urinal bags are up with people avoiding public potties, a man set a Guinness record for the largest stack of eggs, a man died when his family unplugged his ventilator to plug in an air conditioner, Fitz wants to ban co-workers from using the nearby bathroom for #2’s, and a man is arrested for carving a 7-foot-tall phallus in his front yard. In The Good Stuff, a Father’s Day Parade cheers the residents of a nursing home, Fitz is thankful he could Facetime with Bethany when she was in the hospital, Drew got to enjoy the nature of his new home on a sunny day, and Claire is happy her elderly Aunt finally got to hang out with some friends. In the Fitz Files, Kid Rock’s Nashville bar permit was suspended for violating Covid-19 restrictions, Kurt Cobain’s “MTV Unplugged” guitar sold for $6 million at auction, and Jake Owen and his 7- year-old daughter sang “Girl on Fire”. Ryder’s Quest for Country continues as Fitz quizzes him on who sings country songs by their title. He gets 1 out of 4 although he thinks Joey Chestnut sings “Something Like That”! In Bethany’s Baby Blog, Bethany tells us why she spent the weekend in the hospital. Today’s Troop Salute is Master Sergeant Casey Payne USAF. Drew is moving to Monroe and has offered his Renton rental to Claire because it’s such a good deal. In Talk Your Way Out Of It, Fitz gives Ryder, Claire and Drew each a scenario they’ve been “caught” in to see how they would talk their way out of it. Monday Motivation has motivating quotes to get your week started off right!

Nothing says Fri-Yay like a Fri-Day Bull-Yah! In the What Are Kidding Me stories, most people in Washington have seen Bigfoot or know someone who has, a man unearthed an unusual mushroom that turned out to really be a discarded adult toy, a 84-year-old Florida man upset that an 88-year-woman woman took his favorite Bingo seat slashed her car tires with an ice pick. On Stream It or Skip It, Drew recommends “Yellowstone” on Paramount, “Mr. Iglesias” and “The Floor is Lava” on Netflix, “Dora and the Lost City of Gold on Amazon Prime, and “Artemis Fowl” on Disney+. In the Fitz Files, Brad Paisley helps a farm family with medical masks for their crew and fertility treatments for themselves, Garth Drive In Concert tickets go on sale today, and Jimmie Allen has advice for Dads and Moms on how to fit in Laundry Time when you have kids. With Father’s Day coming up, call us and tell us “I Knew My Dad Was Having A Midlife Crisis When…” We need your Insta-Therapy help for a local mom who says her son wants to be a You Tube star, but he’s just not a very good musician. Be very, very quiet because it’s time for our new Public Affairs segment, “That Northwest Feeling”. Daddy of the Year Awards: Fitz want to know what you dad should win the Dad of the Year Award, like Kyle from Buckley whose dad bought a car for the family of an employee who passed away and Madeline from Graham who’s dad was a lifelong smoker until she had a baby, then quit cold-turkey. Fitz exposes Drew for having smelly feet, although he is concerned it could be COVID Toe. The Weekend Party Preview includes the Point Defiance Zoo and Northwest Trek now open, the Arboretum now open with cool activities, and the website How Stuff Works is good for rainy weekend projects.