Fitz in the Morning

We are all a little tired for different reason: Fitz with his newborn twins, Drew and Claire both moving, and Ryder playing games just tryna to keep his KDR up. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, Slip ‘n’ Slides are sold out because pools are closed, a man finds a rubber glove in his restaurant fettuccini, a man flicks a lit cigarette out his car and it blows back and starts a fire, a woman is arrested for visiting “Hire-a-Hitman.com”, a man pranks his ex-girlfriend by posting her phone number and soliciting Chewbacca impressions, and a town is considering having unarmed civilians do traffic stops instead of police. In the Good Stuff, meet our Bickford Ford Community Hero Un Yong, a nurse at JBLM who was set to retire but volunteered to stay to help fight COVID-19 with her team. Fitz has a Ridicu-List of the Top Things that Annoy Dr. Fauci. In The Fitz Files, Garth Brooks removes himself from eligibility for CMA Entertainer of the Year, Malik B from the Roots has passed away, and Matthew McConaughey has a memoir coming out. On Make Up or Break Up, Hunter from Bremerton says his girlfriend Sierra won’t get married until they can do the whole princess wedding thing, but he wants to be officially married now. Fitz checks his Social Media with one P1 demanding an update on Scone Home One and another wanting to give Drew a MAGA sign for his new Monroe property. Playlist Profiling is Jodie from Puyallup. Our Salute to Stanwood continues with Ryan from the Lowdown Drifters, proud sons of Stanwood! Throwin’ Shade has our own Shade the Destroyer laying verbal waste to The Mariners.

Even in a shutdown world, with a giant empty parking garage, someone keeps parking in Drew’s spot. And Happy Lasagna Day! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man uses his “dad voice” to confront a bear, robbers trying to tie up victims use a bra but fail, a man sets his car on fire driving with a lit candle, a guy who got away from a high speed pursuit is arrested after bragging about it on social media with maps of his route, and a woman shows up to her parole meeting wearing stolen dentures. In the Good Stuff, the iWatch may be able to determine illness like COVID before symptoms appear because it tracks your heart rate. Watch Out For a Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, Makenzie Scott (formerly Bezos) gives $1.7 billion to charity, Emmy nominations have Netflix leading with 160 and “The Tiger King” going against “The Last Dance”, and a woman in Buffalo made sure her obituary contained her hatred of Tom Brady. All Jacked Up includes Fitz dipping his PBJ in Ranch, Barry All Day Everyday whose dates are only interested in his dog, Zack the drummer who practices naked and Kayla in Stanwood who loves the smell of gasoline. Our Salute to Stanwood continues as we chat with Stanwood resident Stanley Wood who gets a kick out of talking to Fitz and loves Carrie Underwood. The Saga of Drew’s Shed continues after a guy with a fancy truck refused to use his driveway to deliver it, and when he did he couldn’t assemble it, so Drew is still waiting for someone to put it together. Today’s Troop Salute is Brandon Welborn USMC. Fitz says the grocery store temperature scanner he used before he shopped erased his memory because he went in for Mac and Cheese and came out with Beer. The Guys from LoCash call in to talk about “One Big Country Song” and how much Fitz and the CT40 Countdown mean to them. We talk about the Chinese Seeds that have been arriving in the mail around the country.

If you can sleep in this heat without AC you are superhuman! Fitz says all the local news stations were showing women in thongs so we a round of Thong Reports “live from the beach”. Ryder claims he was attacked by a Murder Hornet and has the toe evidence to prove it. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, teens destroy an arcade after a machine steals their money, cops in Miami set up “mask traps” to catch people not wearing them, a Florida woman is arrested for grabbing her dad’s “junk” after he wouldn’t share his weed, identical twins who do everything together are dating the same man and want to get pregnant by him, an Elvis impersonator breaks the world record for singing Elvis songs for 51 hours straight and an Amish guy is arrested for DUI in his horse buggy. In Good Stuff, Fitz is excited about a new 30,000- vaccine trial. Our Salute to Stanwood continues as we talk to Julia and Marybeth Sande from The Cookie Mill. In the Fitz Files, Ellen is under investigation by Warner Media for intimidating workplace practices, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have their baby, and Prince Harry had a fake Instagram account to meet Meghan. On Make Up or Break Up, Hannah from Tacoma says her boyfriend Robert has always mentioned a smell coming from her, but now she has found out that it was an intentional tactic to make her feel bad about herself which he learned from his dad. Claire may be related to Golden Girl Bea Arthur – her brother is looking into after finding out Bea’s real name is the same as Claire’s Mom’s. Playlist Profiling is Bobbie from Olympia. Fitz’s Social Media Catch Up covers his status as the Kraken Anthem Singer, Drew’s favorite barista miss him already, and someone loves Aunt Claire and the Weekend Party Preview.

Happy Birthday Aunt Claire – we got you the Hottest Day of the Year! It’s Salute to Stanwood Week and we kick it off by talking to Mayor Elizabeth Callaghan! Keep listening for your name with our $100 Cash Mask! In the What Are You Kidding Me Stories, a man is facing two felonies for intentionally coughing on people in a Wal-Mart, a woman pepper sprays people eating in a park without masks, a car thief fixes up a family’s SUV, and a woman is stuck between two buildings for 7 hours after no one answers her calls for help because they all thought it was a ghost. In Good Stuff, now that Beef Tip Tower is fixed, and you can hear us in Stanwood again, Fitz declares it Salute to Stanwood week with a new song from Young’n’+Shade, “Welcome Back.” Watch Out – it’s a (really good, actually) Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, Russell Wilson and Ciara welcome baby boy Win, Regis Philbin passes away at 88, and Michael Jordan’s rookie jersey is up for auction and is expected to bring in $500K. Fitz is all about Skin to Skin nestling with his new twin sons and it’s freaking Drew out; we take calls from P1 dads who say Fitz is right on. Today’s Troop Salute is Seaman Noah Graddis of the US Navy. On Wheel of Wake-Up Fitz calls Stacy from our Legal Department at Zero Dark Thirty and she is NOT happy. It’s a real life Slow Dance in a Parking Lot as Ryder met his girlfriend over the weekend in a parking lot in Olympia. QVC Birthday Roulette for Claire’s Birthday brings up a Lighted Christmas Ornament Set! Monday Motivation has some motivating quotes to get your week started off right!

Happy Birthday Momma Fitz! Let’s Get This Friday Started With a Kraken ‘n’ Mariners Bull-Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman pitching a fit over masks gets literally called “Karen” by bystanders, a man angry about masks at a donut shop throws his donuts, a man says his 5 “real doll” companions help him get through quarantine, a Peeping Tom arrested on someone’s roof claim he was looking for his cat, two store workers get in a fight with their keyboards, and a man angry another couple stopped swinging with him and his wife set fire to their house. On Stream It or Skip It Drew recommends “Dragons: Rescue Riders” on Netflix, “Guns Akimbo” on Amazon, the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies on Disney+ and “Dog House UK” on HBO Max. In the Fitz Files, major movies are delayed into 2021 and beyond including “Top Gun: Maverick”, “Avatar 2”, and “Disney’s Live Action “Mulan”. Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani’s new song just dropped and we love it, and Mark Paul Gosselaar never watched “Saved By The Bell” but is now gonna podcast himself watching it. Insta-Therapy has “Darrin” from Mill Creek asking for help after his teenage son got a credit card in his name and ran up huge charges. Mike Tyson and Roy Jones Jr are doing an exhibition fight but the real story is Ryder’s amazing Mike Tyson impression. Let’s Get Kraken – we take your calls about how much you love (or hate) the new Hockey Team name. Believe It or Not includes Chloe whose mom was struck by lightning when she was pregnant with her and now she has a white streak in her hair. Fitz calls Momma Fitz’ for her Birthday. Young’n’+Shade are back with their amazing song “Kraken”. The Weekend Party Preview includes ice skating rinks, kayaking and paddle boarding, Evergreen Speedway, and the Blake Shelton Drive-In Concert Movie this weekend.

Fitz hasn’t seen the Comet Neowise yet and thinks Claire made it up. Ryder is embracing his Hawaiian shirt image going Full Hawaiian today with the shorts to match. And we are all anticipating the NHL Settle Hockey Team Name Announcement. And Fitz says it here first: “Let’s Get Kraken!” In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man is Tik Tok famous for his incredibly long thumb, a couple in England has won a fight to name their son Lucifer, a woman tries to perform an exorcism in a store, a woman rants about masks being useless and compares COVID to farting, and a man is arrested after calling the cops on his passenger with 16 lbs. of meth in the car. In the Good Stuff, the group “Sneakers for Soldiers” has shipped thousands of pairs of running shoes to US soldiers in war zones. On This Day, Ulysses S Grant died and Daniel Radcliffe and Slash were born. In the Fitz Files, Taylor Swift is dropping her 8th studio album tonight, Rascal Flatts’ Jay DeMarcus his own reality show on Netflix, Willie Nelson talks about why he started smoking weed, and “Bill and Ted 3” has an On Demand release date! The $1000 Minute: Lucy from Puyallup Wins!! On Make Up or Break Up, Miley from Enumclaw says her man Joey needs a fashion intervention because he is tearing the sleeves off his shirts but his arms are too scrawny for that look. We get Beef Tip Tower love from Travis from Poulsbo who calls in to tell us how much he loves our new stronger signal. Playlist Profiling is Danielle from Covington. Throwin’ Shade is unbelievably slimy today as Shade throws Shade on Slugs!

Beef Tip Tower is Back at Full Power! Fitz unveils a new segment called “Twin Tales” and we love the theme song and how much he gets whizzed on during diaper changes. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, You Tube’s “There I Ruined It” recuts Lady Gaga’s “Shallow” as a Polka, cops look for a man whole stole a 3-foot dildo, a man is arrested for robbing a store with his 10-year-old son, a new poll reveals when people most like to “do laundry”, and a man dies after wife squeezes him too hard. In the Good Stuff we hear from listeners who tell us Beef Tip Tower is back at 100% and check in from far and wide! Drew finally got his long-awaited laser flashlight, and hunted down the special battery for it, and after all that it doesn’t even set things on fire. In the Fitz Files, Kim Kardashian meets with attorneys over Kanye’s mental health and maybe also divorce, Tim McGraw has a new album coming out and he’s charging $15 to watch an online party for it, Alex Trebek reflects on his clean living as he turns 80, and Katy Perry talks about the Taylor Swift feud. All Jacked Up includes Rebecca from Parkland who steals food from the work fridge and Courtney in Tacoma who dated her boss just to get a promotion. Today’s Troop Salute is brothers Robin Williams and Nicholas Williams of the USMC. We still don’t know what will happen with school in the Fall and Fitz reads a bunch of social media messages from concerned P1 parents. Fitz’s social media has questions about doing skin-to-skin with his twins, his backyard game “Aqua Bounce”, and someone who claims to have gone through FBI training with Claire and thinks she’s lying about her identity.

If it weren’t for window A/C units, we would have all melted into puddles last night. Fitz invented a game to keep his 8-and-7-year-old kids busy (and cool) called “Aqua Bounce!” which is basically him just hosing them down on their trampoline. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a man is gored to death after interfering with a farmer wrangling escaped bulls, a bar gets around the requirement to sell food with liquor by offering $1 menu items like a few grapes or 9 fries, a man waterskies on 11-foot stilts, adult site WeVibe says 1 out of 7 men are turned on by Alexa, a cricket match is delayed after somebody spits on the ball, and crooks try to ship cocaine from Columbia to Italy by hollowing out 500 coffee beans and filling them with the coke. In the Good Stuff, Country Time Lemonade is offering the “Little-est Bailout” sending $100 to kids whose lemonade stands have been shut down due to the pandemic. In the Fitz Files, Amber Heard says Johnny Depp accused her of cheating with just about everyone she’s ever worked with, Dr. Anthony Fauci is throwing out the first pitch for this season’s MLB season, and new details on Carrie Underwood’s first ever Christmas album. On Make Up or Break Up, Eddie from Sumner is getting tired of his girlfriend Diane waking up in the middle of the night saying other guys’ names. Fitz has a list of the most popular original movies on Netflix, like “Murder Mystery” “6 Underground”, “Spencer Confidential”, “Bird Box” and “Extraction”. Playlist Profiling is James from Auburn. Fitz explains the opening of Sam Hunt’s “Hard to Forget” and it’s sampling of the Webb Pierce classic “There Stands the Glass.”

Ryder is rocking a sweet Hawaiian shirt and Fitz thinks it should be his “look” from now on, but with boots. Today is Moon Day - the 51st Anniversary of the first man setting foot on the Moon. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman in a Sprint store becomes irate when asked to wear a mask so she pees on the floor, a school board meeting to vote on masks in schools is postponed when too many parents show up without masks, police in Louisiana search for a woman who shot her boyfriend for refusing to fight, a woman and her daughter take their horses through a McDonalds drive-through, a drunk guy forgets where he parked his car and offers a reward to help him find it, and doctors say “mask-ne” zits are a real thing caused by heat and humidity trapped under our masks. In the Good Stuff, a woman who makes face masks with cartoon pictures of men’s genitals printed on them has raised $100K for charity. Look Out for a Dad Joke! In the Fitz Files, Justin Timberlake and his wife just had a secret baby, Howie Mandel has to post a video proving he has NOT been kidnapped because of TikTok conspiracy theories and Carole Baskin is raking it on Cameo at $200 per post. Fitz gives us an emotional update on his wife Bethany and the complications she endured after giving birth to their twins. Drew took a break from remodeling his Monroe home to actually read the Snohomish County Voter’s Pamphlet. Today’s Troop Salute is Edwin Mason of the US Navy. Fitz quizzes us on today’s celebrity birthdays by giving us clues to mystery people. Monday Motivation has some motivating quotes to get your week started off right.

It's finally Friday! Drew is looking forward to a restful weekend, Claire has come running back, Fitz is tired of his older kids thinking they can just party with impunity, ans on this Friday It’s a special Bull Yah! What Are You Kidding Me? A woman’s laugh is so bizarre it sounds like a goose. A woman in Thailand had trouble explaining the cucumber stuck inside her, so she said she fell on it.Drew Has your Stream It or Skip It: Netflix gets the Last Dance and Cursed a new take on the King Arthur Tale. Amazon Prime gets Absentia a thriller about a woman missing for 6 years who returns. HBO Max gets Last Christmas with Emilia Clark. Disney + Duck Tails is back with new art and new adventures. Hulu has Palm Springs, a modern take on Groundhog day. On County Wars Jared from Thurston takes on James fron King, who wins? In Fitz Files Mason Ramsey is back, this time yodeling about farting cows for Burger King. The house from the Golden Girls is for sale… but it’s not actually in Florida. The house used for exterior shots is in Southern California. On Insta-Therapy A single dad from Gig Harbor doesn’t know what to do now that he’s found out his teenage daughter is a total bully,Callers have great suggestions this dad. He Turned Down What? Fitz has some behind the scenes info about famous 90’s movies and the actors that turned down major roles. Could any of us imagine Titanic with Matthew McConaughey as Jack? Or Bruce Willis in Ghost. What about Tupac Shakur as Mace Windhu in Star Wars Episode I? All This And More!