It's the time of year when we gather together as a family and force one another to watch movies we had no desire to see in the first place. This week, Patrick kid Oli makes him shove the 2023 videogame adaptation FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S into his eyeballs, and now you all have to hear about it!! That's right, Oli has the 411 on the game version of the story and remembers about half of it. Who is the mysterious Purple Guy? Why would you keep real quarters inside an abandoned arcade? How many "scared cartoon dog" noises can one character make? All this, plus Sawsville USA Canada, robot masks with frinkin' razor blades attached, random YouTubers, cryptic cops, bad aunts, ghost children, and a not-so-family-friendly edition of Choose Your Own Deathventure!! Come and play with us forever, and ever, and ever...

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Artwork by Josh Hollis: joshhollis.com

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