Flight School

Hello Frequent Flyers and welcome aboard our 36th flight, Fargo.

We're sure glad you're here, dontcha know? If you look out the windows on the left side of the plane, you can sure see local disappointment Lester Nygard. Oh jeeze, what's that fella doin now? 

And who's that real intense guy with him, whisperin them dark things in his ear. Oh, looks like this is a case for that Deputy Molly Solverson. Isn't she a peach?

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Hello frequent flyers and welcome about our 35th flight, Dark Matter.

Space may be the final frontier but if you could lend us your ears, we'd love to show you all the various exist aboard this space ship. You won't be able to use any of them because your memory is gone, an android wants to kill you, and honestly what were you doing anyways?

Don't you have space things to do?

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, Frequent Flyers, it's our 34th Episode of Flight School!

Your Captain would like to apologise for the slight turbulence caused by the forces of good and evil battling it out on our wing.

We suggest you buckle your seat belts, don your capes, and become the trouble you want to see in the world.

Hello Everyone and Welcome Aboard Episode 33, The Addams Family.

For passengers just joining this astral plane, we ask that you turn your television dial back to 1964. Get to know your neighbours sitting next to you. Their intricacies. Their oddities.

The strange void where their soul should be. Then turn to the strange family to your other side and consider yourself safer, for they have hemlock and beheadings but at least they're upfront about it.

Maybe you'll find yourself nurturing some of their values after all. 

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Hello Frequent Flyers and welcome aboard our 32nd episode, Hemlock Grove. 

We ask any of our passengers to hold their questions till the end of the flight. and after. Just forever. Just always be unsure...and afraid. Like we were during this pilot.

Why is he drinking blood, what's the deal with being so overtly offensive? Who holds an ice cream angrily? Also, why jog, ever?

We can't answer all these questions, but you won't be able to ask them anywhere else either.

Buckle up, it's about to get Netflix Original up in here.

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Hello Frequent Flyers and Welcome aboard our 31st episode, Scream Queens.

 Are you afraid of being stalked by a dude in a devil outfit? Or being horribly murdered by said devil? Do you have flashbacks to your days in Uni, and being made fun of by Sorority girls? Well have we got a show that will have you drinking to forget!

This Glee/American Horror Story mashup hits some sour notes, but should you watch along, or will you leave this show dead and buried. Sorry crew, this is a phantom plane and no one gets off until they watch.

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Hello Frequent Flyers and Welcome Aboard our 30th Flight, Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Join us this month of October for some truly spooky pilots. The first of which is that Canadian classic, Are You Afraid of the Dark.

Follow us if you want to get lost in the woods, find a creepy cabin, answer mysterious riddles...and maybe...Sorta DIE (or just take a different cab, I don't know your life.)

How did you even get aboard...after all...this flight has been off the air for fifteen years.

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Hello Frequent Flyers and welcome aboard our 29th Episode, Rita.

Some of you aboard this flight might recall a beloved teacher, from your way away days of youth. Did they make you memorise poetry? Or teach you how to craft a perfect theorem?

Or were they like Rita, obsessively collecting Troll Dolls, and smoking in the bathrooms. Did your teacher have a bard? Were you ever really taught even?

Well throw your thoughts back to the days of your own schooling and compare notes as we fly along with Rita. 

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Hello Frequent Flyers and welcome aboard our 28th episode: PicnicFace.

Some of you might recall one of our most popular beverages aboard this flight: PowerThirst!!!

You'll be pleased to hear this Canadian Internet sensation has provided us not with one power thirst, but several, all sprawled out over the course of an entire television episode. 

Have you ever wanted to see how Ad companies decide to sell their products? (Bears karate chopping a helicopter piloted by a cabbage) Or watch people get part time jobs? Now you can! 

Buckle up, this flight may get rowdy.

Hello Frequent Flyers and welcome aboard our 27th Episode, Killjoys.

This is a special message from your favourite airline corporation. We understand you could have flown with anyone else today, but you  - oh, what's that? There's only one shadowy Company ruling the world and you have only yourself and your guns to trust? Oh, carry on then.

You wouldn't happen to be  a bounty hunter wouldja, you know, a Killjoy? No, our flight isn't named Serenity, and there's no Captain Mal Reynolds but we have a lot of things like it so maybe you'll consider staying aboard a wee bit longer. 

Not that you could get off the flight anyways...because we are also now in Space. Did we forget to mention that? And you thought you were headed to Seattle.

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