FLiP Talks: Divorce, Separation & Family Law

Precis: Kara Swift and Lucy Taylor meet again to discuss financial planning after separation or divorce.

Following their recent conversation on how to move from financial vulnerability to financial resilience, Kara and Lucy discuss finances following separation and divorce.

As they explain, the implications of the numbers at the outset can be huge and if you do not have an understanding of the family's finances it can be dauting. Professionals like Kara and Lucy can help you move forward with confidence.

With insights from their respective experience, they provide practical tips on how to approach your finances from the moment of separation.

Their conversation covers:

• Divorce finances (including Form E)
• Cash flow planning to meet your personal goals and objectives
• When to get help from legal and financial professionals
• Personal considerations around returning to work
• Attitudes towards financial risk
• Making capital and investments work for you

About the speakers:

Kara Swift, Family Solicitor, Family Law in Partnership

Kara advises on all areas of family law and has a particular interest in assisting individuals and families with complex financial issues, often with an international dimension. This includes advising on the financial aspects of divorce and the separation of unmarried couples, as well as preparing Cohabitation Agreements and Pre-Nuptial Agreements.

Lucy Taylor, Investment Manager, Evelyn Partners

Lucy has over 27 years' experience within the investment management industry. Over her career she has worked in large and small firms helping a broad range of individuals understand and reach their savings goals, including specialising in serious injury.

With the context that only 53% of women feel financially independent, Kara Swift invited Lucy Taylor to discuss her mission to encourage women to make sure they are financially future proofed and strong.

In a conversation that focusses on how to move from financial vulnerability to financial resilience, they discuss:

• The division of decisions within a relationship
• The difference between being part of a married or unmarried couple
• How Cohabitation Agreements can provide financial certainty for unmarried women
• How a pre-nuptial agreement can set the tone for a financially healthy marriage
• Paying your future self – the importance of keeping up pension contributions if you take a career beak
• Get out funds
• Planning for the next chapter whether that is older age or single life.

About the speakers:

Kara Swift, Family Solicitor, Family Law in Partnership

Kara advises on all areas of family law and has a particular interest in assisting individuals and families with complex financial issues, often with an international dimension. This includes advising on the financial aspects of divorce and the separation of unmarried couples, as well as preparing Cohabitation Agreements and Pre-Nuptial Agreements.

Lucy Taylor, Investment Manager, Evelyn Partners

Lucy has over 27 years' experience within the investment management industry. Over her career she has worked in large and small firms helping a broad range of individuals understand and reach their savings goals, including specialising in serious injury.

Daniel Coombes and Jo Harrison discuss how to protect children's mental health when their parents are in family court proceedings, or any process where a third party needs to make a decision for them, such as arbitration.

Whether proceedings are about the children themselves, or the parents' finances, Daniel and Jo agree that both the parents and the lawyers should do as much as possible to insulate children from the process and stress associated with it.

They talk about direct ways to look out for children, as well as practical strategies to help parents protect themselves and support everyone's wellbeing.

This in-depth conversation covers, but is not limited to:

· When and how to speak to children about family proceedings

· The value of giving children a voice and how to do this in an age-appropriate way

· The difference between feeling heard and being stuck in the middle

· The importance of communication and trust between parent and child

· Spotting signs that a child is struggling with their mental health

· Getting help from third parties such as family, school and experts

· Children's involvement in proceedings, such as CAFCASS interviews

· The benefit of boundaries and why parents should set them with their lawyers

· The impact of stress on decision making

· Dealing with disappointing outcomes

· Managing handovers when you're in conflict

Discussing separation, Daniel comments "It's one of those moments in one's life where decisions that you make, behaviours that you exhibit, have profound impacts and can really seriously and significantly affect the future of our children."

About the speakers:

Daniel Coombes

Daniel is an experienced family solicitor, mediator and collaborative practitioner. He recognises that decisions made at the time of separation will have long-lasting ramifications and helps parents to focus on what is important and what needs prioritising – in the short, medium and long term. He has a reputation for handling the most challenging children cases - including where there are mental health concerns, allegations of abuse and parental alienation - and achieving creative but workable solutions, both in and out of the court arena.

Jo Harrison

Jo is an experienced therapist working with individuals and couples who are separating. A former family lawyer, Jo has a depth of experience that benefits individuals and couples as she supports them through the separation and divorce process. Jo is the author of the book 'Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have And Why The Washing Up Matters', and is regularly quoted in the press. She has made appearances on ITV's This Morning (the Relationship Clinic) and Marina Fogle's The Parent Hood.

In this podcast Elizabeth Fletcher, a Family Solicitor and Director at Family Law in Partnership, is joined by Couples Therapist and Divorce Consultant Jo Harrison to discuss a question they are often asked – How do we tell the children we are separating?

Referencing a blog written by Jo, which highlights the ideal situation of parents communicating together, they consider a range of scenarios and topics that lead on from this, including:

· Planning the conversation together

· Agreeing an age-appropriate narrative that is helpful for children

· Preparing for questions children might ask

· Helping children answer questions about the separation

· The role of other adults and caregivers such as family members and teachers

· The danger of replaying negative parental dynamics

· Safety issues and circumstance in which you wouldn't want to have this conversation jointly

· What happens when one parent wants to introduce a new partner

· Evolution of the conversation over time and the opportunity to try again.

The materials referenced in the podcast can be found here:

· FLiP Blog - How to Tell Children You Are Separating: www.flip.co.uk/how-to-tell-children/

· Resolution guide - Parenting Through Separation: https://resolution.org.uk/publications-books/parenting-through-separation-guide-single-copy/

About the speakers:

Jo Harrison

Jo is an experienced therapist working with individuals and couples who are separating. A former family lawyer, Jo has a depth of experience that benefits individuals and couples as she supports them through the separation and divorce process. Jo is the author of the book 'Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have And Why The Washing Up Matters', and is regularly quoted in the press. She has made appearances on ITV's This Morning (the Relationship Clinic) and Marina Fogle's The Parent Hood.

Elizabeth Fletcher

A highly regarded family solicitor and mediator, Elizabeth advises parents on how to manage the arrangements for their children and finances following the breakdown of their marriage, relationship or civil partnership. She has particular experience navigating complicated private law children arrangements, including those with an international element.

#divorce #separation #children #familylaw #childarrangements

In this episode of the FLiP podcast, Senior Associate Hannah Greene and FLiP's in-house Divorce Consultant and Individual & Relationship Therapist Jo Harrison discuss how couples can manage their mental load once they separate.

In this wide-ranging discussion, Hannah and Jo look at how tasks within a relationship are often divided and the impact a separation may have on mental load as individuals seek to resume roles which they may have relinquished during the relationship. There is an acknowledgement that many separated parents wish to be seen as a "competent parent" as they move into the next chapter of their lives, but this can be hard and it can take some adjustment.

Jo suggests that the key to managing the transition successfully is goodwill and fostering a good relationship through communication and an acknowledgement of the contribution their former partner has made and is making: "The better that you get on with your former partner, the easier it will be."

Hannah and Jo discuss the importance of building trust and sharing information with an acceptance that this can often take time to develop. Tread carefully and delicately, and think about your communication in terms of timing and tone. Appreciate and accept that your former partner may do things differently.

At FLiP we have a team of Divorce Consultants and Individual & Relationship Therapists who have a wealth of experience in helping couples to improve their relationships, whether they are together or separating or separated. Our team offer a place to reflect on relationship issues in a confidential and stigma-free way. To learn more, visit our dedicated page found here.

Jo Harrison is a Divorce Consultant and Individual & Relationship Therapist at FLiP. She is very experienced in working with individuals and couples who are separating.

Hannah Greene is a Senior Associate at FLiP. She advises on all aspects of divorce and cohabitation, including financial and children matters, and on relationship agreements, including prenuptial and cohabitation agreements. A qualified collaborative lawyer, Hannah's focus is on providing clear, pragmatic advice whilst maintaining an empathetic approach, taking all available opportunities to minimise conflict, where possible.

In this episode of the FLiP podcast, FLiP Director Helen Greenfield, leads a discussion with Chantal Hughes, Chief Executive at The Hampton Trust on the topic of domestic abuse and working with victims and perpetrators. Helen and Chantal cover a wide range of points such as:

• Who is referred to The Hampton Trust.
• The interventions offered by The Hampton Trust such as Project CARA.
• The language surrounding domestic abuse and coercive control.
• The stigma encompassing domestic abuse.
• The impacts of abuse on a family, in particular children who as defined by The Domestic Abuse Bill can also be victims of domestic abuse, with reference to the BBC documentary featuring Ian Wright which The Hampton Trust were involved with.
• Whether victims feel reassured by perpetrator support work and whether it can be said it is a safeguarding system for the victims.

About the Speakers

The Hampton Trust was founded in 1996 to deliver domestic violence perpetrator programmes within the criminal justice system. They have developed community based interventions for families experiencing domestic abuse alongside providing innovative criminal justice response.

Chantal Hughes has been part of The Hampton Trust since 2006 where she joined as the Domestic Abuse Services Manager before progressing to Deputy Chief Executive. She took a 4-month sabbatical in 2011 to work for a charity providing rehabilitation to street children in one of the largest slums in Africa and remains connected to the work in Kenya.

Taking up the role of CEO in 2013, Chantal has led the expansion of a range of domestic abuse and criminal justice interventions. She remains firmly committed to tackling the root cause of domestic abuse by holding perpetrators to account and ensuring the voice of victims and children are at the forefront of the work.

Helen Greenfield advises on all matters relating to family breakdown, divorce and cohabitation. She has a particular interest in helping those who have been affected by domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can include anything from isolating a person from their friends and family, monitoring their time or taking control over aspects of their everyday life (such as where they can go, who they can see, what to wear, their finances or when they can sleep. It can also include threats to hurt, to kill or even physical assault).

Helen recognises that the legal implications of domestic abuse are accompanied by a plethora of emotional and other issues, and she aims to ensure that clients are able to work through them with the right advice and support.

For further information:

Helen Greenfield: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/helen-greenfield/

Chantal Hughes: https://hamptontrust.org.uk/about-us/management/

FLiP's Website: https://www.flip.co.uk/

The Hampton Trust's Website: https://hamptontrust.org.uk/about-us/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd

In this episode of the FLiP podcast, FLiP Associate Vanessa Sampaio, leads a discussion with Andrew Jones, Immigration Solicitor at Wesley Gryk Solicitors on family separation and possible immigration issues that can be encountered. Vanessa and Andrew cover a wide range of points such as:

• The challenges that arise from an immigration perspective for individuals in circumstances where their immigration status is dependent on their spouse and there is risk of such status being lost upon divorce.
• What impact children have on the immigration status of separating individuals.
• The legal position for unmarried couples who have children and one of the parents has a temporary visa and what can be done to regularise the parent's status who does not have the right to remain in the country.
• Protective steps that family lawyers can take to safeguard their client's immigration position.

Vanessa advises on all aspects of family law including the division of finances on the breakdown of marriage/civil partnerships, and the preparation of pre and post nuptial agreements. She also advises in respect of matters under TOLATA 1996 and under Schedule 1 of the Children Act. Vanessa prioritises her clients' objectives whilst providing them with pragmatic advice to assist them in achieving the best outcome for themselves and their children. Vanessa offers a considered approach to resolving her cases as constructively as possible, but nonetheless takes a strategic view when it comes to litigation. Vanessa is ranked as a Recommended Lawyer by Legal 500 2023.

Andrew Jones is a solicitor at Wesley Gryk Solicitors LLP. Andrew's practice covers a wide range of immigration, asylum and nationality matters. Andrew regularly assists clients to make applications for parents and partners applying to enter or extend their stay in the United Kingdom. He also has experience with applications for asylum, British citizenship for adults and children and status under the EU Settlement Scheme. Andrew successfully challenges Home Office decisions in the Immigration and Asylum Tribunals and by judicial review.

For further information:

Vanessa Sampaio: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/vanessa-sampaio/

Andrew Jones: https://www.gryklaw.com/our-team/andrew-jones/

FLiP's Website: https://www.flip.co.uk/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd

In this episode of the FLiP podcast, Marcia Drummond, Associate and Chartered Legal Executive Lawyer, leads a discussion with a former client about his divorce journey and the powerful impact therapy had on his experience.

The questions in which Marcia asked her former client are listed below with the appropriate time stamp in case you would like to skip to a certain point of the discussion.

• At what stage did you consider it important to obtain legal advice rather than self-represent? (1:12)
• How did the end of your marriage impact on your mental health and how did you manage it? (1:47)
• When did you engage the services of a therapist? (2:30)
• How did you choose the therapist and what skillset was important to you? (4:13)
• What impact did therapy have on the way that you dealt with the divorce process? What would say are its benefits (and disadvantages) for other separating couples? (4:50)
• Do you consider there is an alignment between the legal advice you received and the support you received from your therapist? (7:39)
• Statistics show that men are likely to be more resistant to engage in therapy or counselling – do you have an opinion as to why that might be? (8:57)
• You've taken therapy to another level and have started a course in therapy – what was your motivation? (10:39)
• What would be your advice to anyone going through a divorce or separation? (12:20)

At FLiP we have a team of Divorce Consultants and Individual & Relationship Therapists who have a wealth of experience in helping couples improve their relationships, whether they are together or separating or separated. Our team offer a place to reflect on relationship issues in a confidential and stigma-free way. To learn more, visit our dedicated website page linked below.

Marcia Drummond is an Associate and Chartered Legal Executive (FCILEx) Lawyer. She handles all aspects of private family law and has a broad range of experience across financial, divorce/dissolution and parenting matters. To learn more about Marcia, see below.

For further information:

Marcia Drummond: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/marcia-drummond/

FLiP's Website: https://www.flip.co.uk/

Divorce Diaries: https://www.flip.co.uk/divorce-diaries/

Divorce Consultancy and Therapists: https://www.flip.co.uk/counselling/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd

**National Surrogacy Week runs this year (2023) from 1 August to 7 August.**

In light of National Surrogacy Week, we have relaunched our original podcast "Surrogacy: An Introduction" recorded in 2021, to bring further awareness to surrogacy and in the hope it may be helpful to anyone embarking on a surrogacy journey. References to the law are accurate as at October 2021. Since recording in 2021, the Law Commission have released their report outlining recommendations for a robust new system to govern surrogacy and we are awaiting the Government's response. You can find out more here.

FLiP Senior Associate Kara Swift leads the discussion with family law barrister Andrew Powell of 4 Paper Buildings.

Kara Swift of Family Law in Partnership advises on all aspects of private family law, supporting a wide range of clients following separation to resolve matters relating to children and financial matters with diligence and care. Kara was named Family Law Young Solicitor of the Year 2019 in the prestigious LexisNexis Family Law Awards. The award recognises a solicitor with under 5 years post qualification experience who has made an outstanding contribution in family law.

Andrew Powell is widely recognised for his expertise in cases concerning children. He is proficient in child abduction cases and has particular expertise in surrogacy issues. As well as surrogacy law, his practice focuses on parental disputes about arrangements for children after separation, international children law, and applications to relocate children to another country.

For further information:

Kara Swift: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/kara-swift/

Andrew Powell: https://www.4pb.com/barrister-profile/andrew-powell/

FLiP's Website: https://www.flip.co.uk/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd

In this podcast Hannah Greene, a Senior Associate at FLiP is joined by Jo Harrison, in-house therapist at FLiP. Hannah and Jo discuss Monica Heisey's debut novel 'Really Good, Actually' and what it means to get divorced in your 20s.

**SPOILER ALERT – to any listener who has not yet read the book, the plot of the novel is discussed to some extent and the conversation may contain some spoilers.**

Jo and Hannah discuss a range of topics filtering from Monica's novel, such as but not limited to:

• - How divorcing looks in your 20s from a legal perspective and the common issues which may feature;
• - How therapy can help an individual, no matter what their age, when going through a divorce or separation;
• - The concept of "necessary narcissism";
• - Communication during the divorce process and after;
• - The legal position on pets during a divorce;
• - What is portrayed in the book which is general to divorce;
• - Lessons learnt from the novel.

Hannah advises on all aspects of divorce and cohabitation, including financial and children matters, and on relationship agreements, including prenuptial and cohabitation agreements. A qualified collaborative lawyer, Hannah's focus is on providing clear, pragmatic advice whilst maintaining an empathetic approach, taking all available opportunities to minimise conflict, where possible

Jo is very experienced in working as a therapist with individuals and couples who are separating. A former family lawyer, Jo has a depth of experience in being able to understand the legal process. She can work with clients, either individually or as a couple, to support them through the process. Clients can meet with Jo for an initial consultation at our offices in Central London to think about what help is required. This can be at any stage before, during, or after a divorce or separation.

For further information:

Hannah Greene: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/hannah-greene/

Jo Harrison: https://www.flip.co.uk/profiles/jo-harrison/

FLiP's Website: https://www.flip.co.uk/

Really Good, Actually: https://www.waterstones.com/book/really-good-actually/monica-heisey/9780008511722

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-law-in-partnership/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/familylawinpartnership

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FLiPLtd