LessWrong (30+ Karma)

“Forfeiting Ill-Gotten Gains” by jefftk


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It's a holiday. The cousins are over, and the kids are having a great
time. Unfortunately, that includes rampaging through the kitchen.
We're trying to cook, so there's a "no cutting through the kitchen"
rule. Imagine enforcement looks like:

Kid: [dashes into kitchen, pursued by cousin]
Adult: Out of the kitchen!
Kid: Sorry! [Continues their path, leaving through the other door; escapes
pursuit from more rule-abiding cousin]

This doesn't work! The kid got what they wanted out of this interaction, and
isn't going to change their behavior. Instead, I need to make it be not worth
their while:

Kid: [dashes into kitchen, pursued by cousin]
Adult: No cutting through the kitchen! [Physically rebuffs intruder]!
Kid: Sorry! [Forced to leave through the door they entered by; caught by cousin.]

Other examples:

  • Sneak candy, spit it out and forfeit dessert.

  • Use sibling's tablet time, lose your own.

  • Interrupt, be ignored.

  • The general principle is that if you want to limit behavior the
    combination of the gains from rule-breaking and penalty from
    punishment need to put the kid in a worse [...]





    ---

    First published:

    January 16th, 2026

    Source:

    https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/pyuhYvkqX9Lzr6QWX/forfeiting-ill-gotten-gains

    ---

    Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

    ...more
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