THE DRAGONZORD AWAKENS. And the new Megazord  is black and he’s proud. The final outcome of the Green Ranger Saga is a fait accompli, with Rita and Scorpina wasted on space sangria and Tommy more interested in PUA mind games with Kimberly than beating Kimberly up. And finally, the Green Ranger and his ocarina of knife, join the team!

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In the tradition of Russian Terminator, Mutant Hunt, and Exterminators of the Year 3000 – films with no terminators, mutants, or exterminators – comes Laser Mission. Guess how many lasers it has! Brandon Lee is Jimmy Bond, Debi Monahan is a high-pitched woman, and Ernest “BASEketball” Borgnine is a simple-minded laser genius in this tale of Angolan/Soviet/Nazi/Cuban/Mexican intrigue.

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Things are heating up in the Green Ranger saga, as the Green Ranger goes mano-a-mano with a fired-up Alpha 5. Finster gets jealous as Rita blots out the sun to render the Megazord helpless. The Megazord is solar-powered? The Power Rangers save Bulk and Skull from being squished in a school bus, and FINALLY AT THE END figure out who the Green Ranger is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Alpha 5 steps up. He says, I’ve got this shit!” – Darrill

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Since childhood MikeR has yearned to watch Dudes. From defender of punks Penelope Spheeris, it stars Jon Cryer as a punk dressed like a cowboy and the guy who played Jay Leno in The Night Shift as a punk dressed like a Native American. A road-trip comedy, a revenge thriller, a showcase for Daredelvis, and a hallucinatory Western – can it pull off all those things? Well it has great music at least.

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Everyone with a Twitter account knows more about wrestling than us, but after watching the Hulkster save Christopher Lloyd’s marriage, we shared some WWF memories. Note: when MikeD says “there were two guys from the late 80s…”, he was thinking of The Fabulous Ones. Just look them up. And Rick The Model Martel.

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The Hulkster’s first family film, this takes the unusual approach of ignoring the kids completely and focusing on wacky/struggling parents Christopher Lloyd and Shelley Duvall. The Hulkster is an intergalactic warrior! Pursued by bounty hunters! He learns to skateboard! He helps mimes! He steals Larry Miller’s architecture trophies! What a weird movie.

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