Fostering Voices Podcast

This week we talk briefly about three tips for people who are thinking of embarking on their foster care journey, or have just commenced.

This is the Kevin Durant episode. Not because he was adopted or in foster care. Just because he is awesome and wears the number 35. And we love him.

This week we interview the lovely Rhonda Labatt of Redemption Market, a stunning ethical boutique that literally changes people's lives. Maybe not so much the customer's, but definitely the artisans behind the products. Rhonda has a huge heart for serving and loving the least of these, which is what led her to adopt her youngest daughter from Peru.

Listen to this week's episode to find out more!

Some points that Rhonda mentioned:

- An Open Door Adoption Agency , this is the agency that Rhonda went through

- $25,000 for this international adoption (7 years ago), but thanks to so much provision and generosity from others, they spent about $5,000 out of pocket.

- This adoption from Peru took 2 years, with a 5 week stint in Peru for the whole family, as a requirement for the adoption.

- Her devotion to Savina's birth mom, to the pastor who helped at the orphanage, to the country of Peru, and her devotion to her family, have helped her to press on, even when times were hard. How beautiful is her heart???

- And she gave our listeners a 25% discount on your purchase! Just enter code TAKE25 at checkout!

Shop HERE.

The (Good) Word of the Day

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

I love that Rhonda shared that just this past summer, she could really tell that her daughter feels like a true part of the family. You could tell it in her soul.

This is especially beautiful knowing that they adopted their daughter 7 years ago. It wasn't an instantaneous thing. All of these beautiful moments come in time, as is true in so many things in life, as this verse indicates.

Thanks again Rhonda for your time, and for all that you do to support those in need!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

This week we interview the lovely Rhonda Labatt of Redemption Market, a stunning ethical boutique that literally changes people's lives. Maybe not so much the customer's, but definitely the artisans behind the products. Rhonda has a huge heart for serving and loving the least of these, which is what led her to adopt her youngest daughter from Peru.

This week is Charles Barkley week. Since apparently we are just going to reference our favorite basketball player every week.

Though seriously, we talk about "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott- Haims. She has a great TedTalk that you can listen to here, or you can purchase the book here.

It is a wonderful book that really has given us a lot to think about as we are raising all these kids, and what the negative repercussions of overparenting look like.

For example, she talked to the creator of this viral video: We are Millenials. We Suck, and we're sorry. And it's hilarious, and it's the face of what goes wrong when you overparent and raise entitled kids.

So, how should you parent your kids to be adults?

Read this book. Listen to this podcast. Talk to your friends. Make some changes.

Although, we said something in this episode which can easily be misconstrued, so let me clear the air here:

When talking about what we want for our foster kids, we said we want them to be healthy and happy. That's first and foremost. Because they have come from hard places, we don't place a lot of expectation on them. Not because we don't think they can achieve much. Not because we don't think they are as good as our bio kids. It's because we want them to just be kids. And then it makes us realize that we should want that for all our kids. Our bio kids too. Being an adult is hard. Let's let kids be kids, without forcing them into adulthood too quickly.

And with that being said, there are still things we can do for our kids, while they are kids, that will properly train them to be great adults one day. Like doing chores, learning to take initiative, speaking up for themselves, and so much more.

In this age of overparenting, we "remove risk, pain, and accountability" from our children's lives. We have to find that sweet balance of letting kids be kids, without raising adults who are still childish.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalm 16:11

God is such a great Father. He makes known to us the path of life, and he fills us with joy by just being in his presence. And he is also filled with joy when we are in his presence. Because he is a great Father who loves us dearly. He doesn't care about our performance, or what we can do for him to make him look good. He simply loves us unconditionally.

Can we, as parents, love our kids in the same way? Can we love them no matter how they perform? Do our children feel filled with joy in our presence? Let us all work on loving all of our kids unconditionally!

Connect on Social Media:

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

We talk about "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott- Haims. It is a wonderful book that really has given us a lot to think about as we are raising all these kids, and what the negative repercussions of overparenting look like.

Episode 33 is another great one, featuring an interview with the delightful and smart Maggie Zehring.

But before we dive into the goodness of that interview, Chris and I got stuck in the intro about the number 33, and what it has meant to Chris in his life.

We referenced Larry Bird, who was in fact from French Lick, Indiana, as Chris mentioned. But he was actually born in West Baden Springs, Indiana.

Patrick Ewing had some very colorful shoes when I was in High School (which was 20 years ago), and shockingly still sells them! This is brand new information! You can buy some here if you are interested. But if you want to be true to the fashion of 1990s, your jeans better be gigantic, and the same color as the shoes.

Now, onto the interview!

The basics about our guest today: Maggie is married to a great guy named Nick. Together they have 2 bio baby boys, and a foster son smack dab in the middle of the boys. The kids are all 8 months apart. And the eldest isn't even 3 yet. And Maggie is pregnant. And adorable.

You can learn more about Maggie on her website. And find her on Instagram.

My first encounter with her was when I read an article she had written for 'Raising Arizona Kids', when I was at the doctor's office. The article caught my attention because it was by a mom who was raising 3 kids 2 and under, and I just thought "that woman is crazy", and now I know for a fact that I was correct. :)

She has some really great resources on her website for foster parents, including a downloadable version of the letter she sent out to her support system as they were getting ready to foster. As well as copies of letters to bio parents, and a master spreadsheet for foster parents. You can find them all here.

Maggie also mentioned the awesome book "The Connected Child" by the late Dr. Karen Purvis, and it is incredible. Maggie gave a copy to her family members so they could have an idea of how to help care for foster children as well.

Maggie's family is licensed through Arizona Baptist Children's Services, and as an agency they do not have any rules about fostering while pursuing pregnancy, which some other agencies do.

She said that one of the difficulties she has had in her foster care journey has been the unmet expectations, which is common to many foster families. Especially when you hear that something, and believe it is a 'rule', only to find out it is not. For example, she believed that a child's time in care was a determining factor to a case, and it is not. It's sometimes hard to tell what are determining factors in any case...

A key to her family's success in fostering, has been her wrap team. Which is just her support system. We believe that this is a major game changer for foster families as well, so if you are considering getting into foster care, make sure you have people who know what you are getting into, and who are willing to support you in it.

Maggie also mentioned ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences, and you can take the test and find out what it all means here. Or just google it. There is A LOT of information about it.

Maggie's husband, Nick, is an awesome dad and husband, and he gives Maggie every Saturday morning to herself so that she can write, and get work done, all by herself! Way to go Nick. That is truly a gift that keeps on giving!

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' "

-Matthew 25:21

This verse simply calls us to be FAITHFUL servants. Not happy servants. Not well rested servants. Just faithful ones.

And, our reward for being faithful servants is our master's happiness. Not great riches, or lots of sleep.

Thank you Maggie for sharing this verse, and your story with us!

We hope you enjoy this episode, and we will see you again next week!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

This week's interview is with Maggie Zehring of pragmaticallymaggie.co . She is a freelance writer, foster mom, pregnant lady, and bio mom. She has 3.5 kids who are 3 and under. (The .5 being the in utero babe.) She shares about her family's beautiful and tiring journey in foster care.

We went to Rocky Point, Mexico for Fall Break (something that happens here in Arizona. We get 2 weeks off in October, and it's the best!) We opted not to travel with our 5 month old, because - it's the beach. Not the best place for a fair skinned sand eater. So, we left him with two friends of ours - neither of whom are licensed foster parents. Although one of them is in the process. But this goes to show that you can leave your foster babies with people that you deem to be safe, and good care providers.

Traveling without your foster child:

If you don't have people who can watch your foster kids while you travel, you can tell your licensing worker, and they will find a respite provider (someone who is licensed to provide respite, usually another foster family) for you. The main difference here is that a licensed respite provider will get paid HANDSOMELY for watching your kid - about $1 an hour. Which is about $24 a day. Don't do this for the money people!

So, the main thing that you need to leave with your respite provider is the Notice to Provider. This is a slip of paper that your foster child shows up to your house with. I lost my first one, and nearly threw up. I looked EVERYWHERE for it, for days. Finally I just emailed my child's case worker, and she emailed me another one - no problem. What a waste of my time and emotions! So, if you ever lose yours, don't lose your mind over it. Just ask for another.

Anyhow, this Notice to Provider has your child's insurance number on it. Your child needs this so they can get medical attention while you are away. Which our baby needed since he got sick the morning we left! Of course. So, your respite provider cannot take your foster child to Urgent Care, because apparently they have a rule about that. But our friends had no problem making an appointment, and taking our boy to our pediatrician. Then our other friend created an account for our baby at Walgreens, and got his medicine. For free. Cause State Insurance takes care of all of that. No copays for visits or medicine.

Traveling with your foster child:

NOW, apparently you can travel out of country, if you get special permission from the judge of your child's case. You just need to give your child's case worker a lot of advanced warning. You cannot get your foster child a passport, but you can still travel with them. Traveling within country is even easier. If your child is going to miss visits while gone, then those just need to be made up at some point when they get back. But otherwise, the state/system encourages foster families to travel with their foster babes, and give them fun new experiences.

Fun news at the Watson House:

We added a new member to our family! Our friend Catelin, check out episode 23 to hear her story, just moved in with us! And it's been a delight so far.

If someone over the age of 18 moves into your home, and you are a licensed foster family, your case worker will just email you 3 forms for them to fill out. They will need to get finger printed, have their background checked, and do a medical evaluation (which means they get the form signed by their doctor saying they aren't going to die in the next month or two.)

Catelin is showing up at just the right time for us, as Lily is a preteen and needs someone other than her parents to talk to. And she has been calling Catelin her 'big sister', so this is basically ordained by God himself.

Catelin said something so nice when I was watching her unpack. I was sitting on the floor in her room with the baby, and she just said: "People probably think foster care is this big scary thing, but look at this! The baby is so happy, and you are so happy!"

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up."

Proverbs 12:25

So, Catelin's words were just that - kind words that cheered me up. Because that is one of the goals of this podcast - to show that foster care is not a giant scary beast to avoid! Yes, there are hard times for sure, but they are all worthwhile times.

We hope you enjoy this week's casual episode, and we will be back next week with an interview with a foster mom.

Until then - have a great week!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

Whether you are planning on traveling with your foster child, or without, this week's episode talks about our personal story of going to Mexico without our baby. And he was sick. But it all worked out!Listen to find out more about what to expect when traveling as foster parents.

This week's episode is not for little kids' ears!

But it is one for husbands, wives, moms, dads, and teenagers. And is definitely a discussion topic for you and your pre-teens.

It's a good reminder to also mention that this is not a topic solely for those in the foster/adoptive community. There are many children that come from hard places that have had egregious sins committed against them, but in the realm of pornography and masturbation - this is a topic that affects everyone. Even if you don't believe me.

One scary and true thing that was said in this episode is that your children may not be looking for porn - but porn is looking for them! This is a multi billion dollar industry that wants to find new addicts.

We have Robert Watson as our special guest this week. He is a pastor at Sun Valley Community Church, and he delivered an awesome sermon on this topic last year. You can find it here, but he shares all the main points on the podcast today.

This is not just a typical sermon. This is a science lesson and soul lesson wrapped in one.

Some bullet points on what we discussed:

- In the realm of sex and porn, people don't want to talk about this because the topic is taboo and filled with GUILT and SHAME. We want people to escape from that realm and walk in the light, where there is Freedom and Peace.

- Pornography and masturbation are addictions and appetites that need to be filled the more that they are practiced. When you go to the store on an empty stomach - you will make less healthy food choices in the long run, and you will sample anything and everything along the way. Similarly with sex, you may be longing for intimacy or relationship, but you fill yourself with garbage and actual ruin your ability to enjoy true intimacy and relationship by engaging in porn and self-pleasuring.

- Young women! Think about what you post online. Why are you always in a bikini? Why do you always need to show your boobs?? WHAT DO YOU WANT? Just some attention? For people to tell you that you are pretty? Hot? Think about WHAT you want (attention? relationship? intimacy?) and think about HOW you want to get it.

Brain chemistry and some weird terms (but great rapper names):

- There is a protein that your brain creates called DeltaFosB. "[ΔFosB is] almost like a molecular switch. ... Once it's flipped on, it stays on for a while and doesn't go away easily. This phenomenon is observed in response to chronic administration of virtually any drug of abuse. It is also observed after high levels of consumption of natural rewards (exercise, sucrose, high fat diet, sex)." Read the full article here.

- Crebb. "CREB is like the brakes on a runaway reward center; it slows the pleasure response. [22]With CREB onboard, porn that once excited a person stops having the same effect. [23] Scientists believe that CREB is partly why consumers have to keep increasing their porn intake to get aroused. [24] That numbed-out state is called "tolerance," and it's part of any kind of addiction." Read this full article here. What this means is people need to keep upping the ante on what they are watching and doing and how frequently they are doing those addictive things.

- This is not a podcast episode to tell men that they are terrible. Women are also addicted to porn, as well as romance novels! You can read this article about how this happened to a well known Romance Book author, Francine Rivers.

- This is why sin is progressive, when we decide to hide and keep it a secret from those we love, it just keeps getting worse. But there is help for everyone in all situations, once we choose to get help!

Now what?

- The Adam and Eve Effect: This is when you love the one you are with. You don't compare them to anyone else - because back in the day - there was no one to compare Eve to. She was Adam's one and only. And same with Eve.

- Robert mentioned this TedTalk by Gary Wilson, who talks about how men who have come out of their porn addiction have been able to learn French, and picked up new, incredible hobbies, very quickly once their brains got freed up from all the porn they were consuming.

- There is lots of help out there. You just have to be willing to find it AND use it. We want to make the finding part easy for you:

- Covenant Eyes: For internet accountability and filtering.

- XXXChurch : To help men and women break free from porn addiction

- Celebrate Recovery: Find one near you! This is a Christ-centered 12 step recovery program, and it's amazing.

- Disney Circle : to help you filter what people in your house are watching, and even when and how long they are able to watch them. We have this and it's a great tool!

- TALK. As in, talk about this with people you love and trust. There is hope and freedom for everyone.

The (Good) Words of the Day

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

-1 Corinthians 6:18

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

-Matthew 5:27-30

These verses do not condemn or condone bad behavior. They are wise counsel to RUN AWAY, to be extreme, in escaping the strong grip of the sexual temptation and sin that is out there!

We hope that this week's episode has shed some light on a very powerful topic that is ruining families and society.

Please feel free to share this with anyone you think might need to hear this today.

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find us at:

Robert Watson on Facebook

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!