I'm so excited to share this episode with you!  I'm chatting with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner, aka @foster.parenting on Instagram.  Laura has been an amazing resource for foster parents at all stages of the journey for many years through the content she creates on Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube.  And now she's just published a book called First Time Fostering: A Practical Guide for Supporting Kids in Foster Care.

I can't wait for you to hear all the insight and wisdom she shares in this episode.

You can order your copy of First Time Fostering here.

Connect with Laura on IG here.

Find all of my resources and supports for foster and adoptive families here.

It’s 2 a.m.

The house is finally quiet. Everyone’s asleep. You should be asleep.

But instead, you’re lying in the dark, replaying that moment from earlier today. Or yesterday. Or last week. Or maybe even months ago.

The thing you said during the meltdown. The way your voice got sharp when you were already running on empty. The look on their face when you snapped. The call with the caseworker where you didn’t advocate hard enough. The court hearing where you froze and forgot everything you wanted to say.

You keep rewinding. Replaying. Analyzing every word, every pause, every reaction.

If only I had said it differently.

If only I had stayed calm.

If only I had done more.

And then the shame spiral kicks in: What kind of foster mom does that? They’ve already been through so much. They needed me to be steady. And I wasn’t.

If this is you — if you’ve spent more nights than you can count mentally replaying moments you wish you could take back — I need you to hear something.

You’re not broken. You’re not failing. And you’re definitely not alone.

What you’re experiencing has a name. And more importantly, there’s a way through it.

Find Fearless Fostering support groups, tools, and services here

No one told me that foster care would require me to hold space for people I’d never met – people whose choices I didn’t understand, whose lives looked nothing like mine, and whose connection to my child would always run deeper than biology alone could explain.

If you’re listening to this, you probably already know what I mean.

You’ve sat in the car after a visit, watching your child’s behavior shift in ways that take hours – sometimes days – to settle. You’ve answered questions you weren’t prepared for. You’ve felt the weight of being expected to support reunification while simultaneously falling in love with a child you might have to say goodbye to.

This is one of the hardest parts of foster care. And it’s the part almost no one prepares you for.

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I remember sitting in the foster parent training before our first placement, imagining the story ahead of us.

I had a version of it in my head — hazy around the details, but clear in shape. A child would come. We would love them fiercely. There would be hard moments, sure, but we’d rise to meet them. And eventually, whether through reunification or adoption, there would be resolution. A chapter that closed with something that felt complete.

That’s not how it went.

I imagine you might be nodding right now. Because if you’ve been in the foster care world for more than five minutes, you know: the story rarely goes how you thought it would.

Maybe you imagined reunification would feel more peaceful. Maybe you imagined the adoption would feel like pure celebration, instead of grief mixed with joy. Maybe you imagined you’d have more time, more clarity, more certainty. Maybe you imagined you wouldn’t still be carrying this weight years later.

This episode is for you — for all of us — who are living in the gap between what we imagined and what actually happened.

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Becoming a foster parent had crossed my mind more times than I could count. But every time it did, I found a reason to push it off.

Not now. Maybe later. When things settle down.

For years, I lived in that space between feeling called and actually saying yes. And if I’m being honest, I was really good at making excuses sound reasonable.

If you’re reading this and you recognize that tension — the quiet tug toward fostering mixed with a dozen reasons why now isn’t the right time — I want you to know you’re not alone. I was exactly where you are. And I want to share the excuses I made, because I think you might see yourself in them.

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There’s a question nobody asks foster parents out loud, but we all feel it hanging in the air.

Are you going to quit?

People watch us. They watch for the cracks. They watch for the moment we throw our hands up and say we’re done. And honestly? I understand why they watch. Foster care is hard in ways that are nearly impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t lived it.

But here’s the truth I rarely hear anyone say:

I never once thought about quitting. Not once. But I absolutely questioned how much more I could take.

And I think that distinction matters more than most people realize.

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There are moments in foster care that no training prepares you for.

The phone call from your caseworker. The quiet conversation at the kitchen table. The look on a child’s face when they learn that someone they love—someone from their first family—is gone.

A foster mom in my community recently reached out to me with this exact situation, and it reminded me how isolating these moments can feel. You’re navigating something incredibly heavy, often without a roadmap, and wondering if you’re doing it right.

I want to share some guidance that I’ve gathered from fellow foster parents, trauma-informed resources, and conversations with families who have walked this road. Not as someone who has all the answers, but as someone who believes we’re better when we learn together.

If you’re facing this right now, take a breath. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to show up.

Join my Foster Mama Lifeline Community here

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It’s time for another R.E.P.O.R.T. episode — my monthly check-in where I share what I’ve been reading, eating, playing, obsessing over, recommending, and treating myself to lately.

In this episode, I’m reflecting on the power of rereading What Happened to You? (and why I gifted it to my mom), keeping mornings simple with Fairlife protein shakes, the music that’s been on repeat, and the joy of connecting with foster mamas IRL as I prepare to speak at the FILLED Retreat later this month.

I’m also sharing a favorite clothing hack since returning to full-time work (hello, Nuuly!) and one of the most unexpected gifts of this season: happy hours with coworkers and the reminder that community matters just as much for us as it does for the families we serve.

This episode is part life update, part encouragement, and part permission slip to notice what’s nourishing you right now — even in the midst of busy, meaningful work.

Grab a coffee, settle in, and let’s catch up. 💛

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In this episode of the Fearless Fostering Podcast, I’m joined by Jeff Lovelace — school psychologist, Teacher of the Year, BCBA, and creator of Monkey Minds SEL. Jeff has a gift for making emotional regulation and behavior support simple, practical, and totally doable for parents.

We talk about:

• What kids are really struggling with emotionally right now
• How to understand behavior as communication
• The #1 SEL/DBT skill he recommends for every family
• How trauma shapes behavior in foster and adoptive kids
• Why your regulation matters more than you think
• One small shift that can bring more calm into your home this week

If you’re navigating big feelings, tricky behaviors, or emotional overwhelm, this episode will help you feel steady, supported, and far less alone.

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Learn more @ https://www.monkeymindssel.com

Find the entire Fearless Fostering Resource Library Here

I can still hear her screaming.

Three and a half years later, in the quiet moments when my house is still and everyone’s asleep, I can hear that primal, desperate wail that tore through my chest and left a hole that’s never quite healed.

She was eighteen months old. Tiny fists clenched around my shirt, her whole body shaking with the force of her terror. “MAMA! MAMA!” she screamed, reaching for me as the social worker pried her from my arms.

I stood there in my driveway, frozen, my arms still curved in the shape of her little body. Empty. Helpless. Watching the car drive away with my screaming baby because “she has to go to the visit. It’s court ordered.”

Those words — court ordered — became the soundtrack to my personal hell.

If you’re a foster parent, you know this scene. You’ve lived it. You’ve felt your heart shatter into pieces while trying to keep a brave face. You’ve questioned everything — your calling, your sanity, your ability to keep doing this work that asks you to love with your whole heart while preparing to have it broken over and over again.

Click HERE to apply for the Fearless Fostering group

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Use code FEARLESS to register for the Filled Retreat HERE (p.s. I'll see you there!!)