I'm answering your foster care questions today on the podcast, including what to do when your kids need more of you than you can give, how to prepare for a new placement, and how to process the grief of goodbye.

Learn more about my Fearless Fostering group and join here: https://fearlessfostering.selfcarebestie.com/fearless-fostering

There’s a moment in nearly every foster mama’s journey that hits harder than expected.

It usually doesn’t happen during licensing classes or even during the first hours of welcoming a new child. It happens after a few days, when the adrenaline wears off and real life kicks in. When the child starts showing signs of trauma. When your biological kids start acting out. When the caseworker misses their visit or when the bio parent sends a letter that leaves you in tears. It’s then that you realize: no one prepared you for this.

If you’re there right now—or you remember it vividly—I want you to know you’re not alone. I created this post because I wish someone had sat me down before my first hard week and told me what to expect, what to ignore, and what to lean into. So here it is—my honest list of what I wish every foster mama knew before her first really tough week.

Apply HERE for the Fearless Fostering Group: https://forms.gle/UAtaNxBNHJfyc3hF7

Pediatric dietician and foster mama Madison Tyler joins me on this week's episode to share some signs that your foster or adoptive kiddo might be struggling with trauma-related food issues and how to solve them. If you'd like to learn more from Madison, you can follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/nourishwithconnection/

If you’re a foster mom, chances are you’ve found yourself in emotionally charged, high-stakes moments more than once—moments where your child is melting down, or a visit doesn’t go as planned, or something triggers your own trauma. These are the moments when your nervous system goes into overdrive, and every part of you wants to react.

But here’s the truth: Regulation always comes before connection. And that means you must be grounded before you can effectively support your child.

In this post, I want to walk you through five trauma-informed grounding techniques specifically for foster moms navigating tough moments. These aren’t fluffy feel-good suggestions—they’re practical tools you can use when it feels like everything is spiraling out of control.

Apply HERE for Fearless Fostering: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfF8P5eedeg3Wd7xdwaTOISWoyXX3LyZEsWsjjx11sI9bZUkQ/viewform

Foster care isn’t static — it’s a system that’s constantly shifting based on politics, policy, funding, research, and public awareness. And in 2025, we’re already seeing some significant changes that every foster parent (especially moms on the frontlines) should be aware of.

Whether you’re new to fostering or have had multiple placements, these updates matter. They impact how long kids stay, the kind of support you receive, and how you advocate for your family and your foster child.

Let’s break down what’s new in foster care policy this year — and more importantly, what it means for you as a foster mama.

APPLY for Fearless Fostering HERE: https://forms.gle/KXbNKLUUEynwU2fy8

APPLY for the Fearless Fostering Group: https://forms.gle/HR8pem1G6Wx4dAhbA

Learn more about Fearless Fostering here: https://fearlessfostering.selfcarebestie.com/fearless-fostering

Foster care is never linear. If you’re reading this, you probably already know that. You know the wild swings from hope to heartbreak, the late-night worries, the unspoken fears. You know how it can feel like everything is happening at once — or not at all.

And in the thick of all of that? There’s the messy middle.

It’s the part that doesn’t get as much attention:

✨ When the honeymoon phase of a new placement fades and the real work begins.

✨ When reunification plans shift and change, leaving everyone reeling.

✨ When your child’s trauma shows up in ways you didn’t see coming.

✨ When you’re doing everything you can — and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

This “messy middle” is where most of foster care actually happens. And it’s also where so many foster mamas feel stuck.

Today, I want to share why this season feels so hard, and some gentle, real-life ways to find your calm — even when it feels like the chaos will never end.

Absolutely LOVED this talk with my pal and former Fearless Fostering member, Christi Chatman. In addition to being a foster mama, Christi is a therapist and big believer in therapy (especially embodied therapy for all that we hold in our bodies) for foster mamas. She shares her foster care journey thus far, what was painful and frustrating, as well as encouragement for how to persevere and heal from the wounds of foster mama trauma.

You can find Christi on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/christi_chatman/

Learn more about my Fearless Fostering Program and apply here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dDWEAyUJFNC6gQj4R7bBb9bFZKcFWCl-yTY8pW2NZfA/edit#response=ACYDBNh_D4bXIebgjtBJjip3XwLSi-s24mCfEL9UiioWUgIo-D9Fp0mdpM1ekqlzMcjtGJc

Charell Star is a former foster youth, lifelong advocate, and brilliant storyteller - she joins me in conversation on this episode to share her story and her debut memoir: Trashbag Tales & Other Stories From An Accidentally Happy Life.

Find Charell's book here: https://charellstar.com/

Connect with her on social media here: https://www.instagram.com/charellstar/#instagram

When you begin your foster care journey, you prepare for a lot of things.

You prepare your home.

You prepare your heart.

You prepare for trauma, transitions, and the unknown.

But almost no one prepares you for one of the most sacred, painful, complex, and often overlooked relationships in foster care:

The relationship between you and your child’s biological mother.

Join the Foster Mama Lifeline here: https://stan.store/fearless_fostering/p/reclaimed-mama-community-pfdw5q2k

Free Resources here: https://stan.store/fearless_fostering

If you’ve ever stood face-to-face with a child in full-blown meltdown mode—screaming, hitting, crying, or shutting down—you know the pressure.

Your heart races. Your brain scrambles for the “right” response.

And suddenly, you’re the one feeling completely dysregulated.

This is one of the hardest truths about parenting—especially in foster care:

You can’t support a dysregulated child unless you know how to regulate yourself.

And that’s not easy when the moment feels personal, chaotic, or just plain exhausting.

Let’s break it down:

What regulation actually is (and what it’s not)

Why foster parents are more prone to dysregulation

Real strategies you can use in the moment

What to say when you freeze

And how to recover when it doesn’t go well (because sometimes, it won’t)

First 5 Scripts Freebie: https://stan.store/fearless_fostering

Foster Mama Lifeline Community: https://stan.store/fearless_fostering/p/reclaimed-mama-community-pfdw5q2k