Fostering Voices Podcast

Today's episode features Jen Walsh of 'Emerge Designs by Jen'. Three and a half years ago, the Walsh family welcomed 2 toddlers into their home and family, from Haiti. Things were ROUGH for a while. Like, 3 years. But tune in to find out more about the power of perseverance and prayer!

I am thrilled to have my licensing worker - Kelly Lewis, on the podcast with me today! A licensing worker is someone who helps you get your fostering license. Kelly has been with us for almost 4 years, and she has turned into a sweet friend who I truly cannot live without.

Kelly has been working at Christian Family Care Agency for 21 years! So she has a lot of wisdom and knowledge to share about her job and agency.

Check them out if you are at all interested in becoming a foster parent, their special youth placement program, being a mentor to a foster child, infant adoption, their safe families program, and many other volunteer opportunities!

Other Great Links:

We mention DCS a lot, and that stands for Department of Child Safety. You can also find out more about being involved in the Foster Care and Adoption crisis in Arizona.

We talked about one of my instructors from my PSMApp classes, Roderick Logan, and how he is a part of this amazing institute that helps children with trauma: Trauma Informed Parent.

(Good) Word of The Day:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

Everyone can play a role in helping orphans and widows, and those infinitely less fortunate than ourselves! We cannot respond to the need, because the need is too great. But we can respond to the calling that has been placed on our hearts.

If you are looking for different ways to get involved in the foster care and adoption community, today's episode has lots of information for you! Kelly Lewis, my licensing worker, is with us today sharing about her 21 years of work with Christian Family Care Agency.

Welcome back my friends!

Today's episode is a fun, and not-fun one, as we dive into the good and bad, the hard and the happy, basically all the dichotomies involving foster care and adoption.

Stay tuned til the end for a very brief interview with 3/4 of my kids! Wesley is not in it, because 1. He was asleep 2. It's hard to understand what he is saying cause he is two. 3. The world is not ready for his brand of cuteness just yet.

In this episode:

I talk about how it is important to remember that sometimes the thing that we as foster parents are the most excited for, comes at the cost of one of the worst, or hardest days for our foster babes.

This is true for the story of adoption as well. Though kids may be happy to have a new family, and new opportunities, this comes at the cost of being separated from their bio families.

I lose my mind and can't remember the difference between fiction and non-fiction because it was almost midnight and I am no longer sharp past 9pm... I meant to say that the story of Christ is not fiction. It is non-fiction, as in it's all true. I have a degree in English Literature. I basically brought shame to the entire English Department at the University of Toronto with this one. My bad.

I mentioned Restless by Jennie Allen. She talks a bit about Hebrews 11, and the Hall of Fame of Faith, and how these great people endured hard things that brought about great results. Like Abraham having to leave everything he knew to start a new nation. Or even David who had to deal with his shame and guilt, but was still able to pursue God wholeheartedly.

So many beautiful things come from hard, broken, even terrible situations. This is Redemption. This is what happens when you put things in God's hands, and He is able to create something from the ashes.

God also is a gap-filler. And in foster care and adoption - there are SO MANY GAPS to fill. And we as the parents cannot fill those. I am thankful that the God I serve is more than able to do this, and so much more.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

The cost and benefit of Christ dying on the cross was huge. The cost was High. And the benefit - even higher. And all this while we are ungrateful sinners. That is a beautiful picture of love, and we are thankful for the example Christ set for us.

This is a bit of a preachy episode, and I apologize for that. But it's Easter! And I am so thankful to serve a God who loves me So Much. All glory be to Him. Amen.

Talking about the costs and benefits associated with foster care and adoption. Short interview with my 11, 10, and 6 year old about their likes and dislikes about being foster siblings.

In this episode we review 'The Happiness Advantage' by Darren Hardy. We are strong believers in Positive Psychology and that having an attitude of gratitude is one of the only things you need to have a successful life.

Welcome to Episode 8! Chris is back in the Guest/Co-hosting Chair, and we talk about a great book called The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. We dive into how Positive Psychology has gotten us to where we are, and how a little positivity, as well as negativity, can spread like wildfire. So, what will you choose to spread today? Will you be like Branch, or Princess Poppy from Trolls? Chris is definitely Princess Poppy. Chris' favorite takeaway from this book, that he found here, is "not the belief that we don't need to change; it is the realization that we can."

In this episode, we mention:

• The Corner Bakery. Home of the BBLT: Bacon Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich. Chris's favorite. New location can be found at the Arizona Center. But click the link to find a Corner Bakery near you. Maybe you will run into Chris and I there on a hot date.
• Shawn Achor's TedTalk, where he basically tells you all about this book in 12 minutes. Still worth the read though.
• EMMA STONE from The Help. Ugh. Drew a complete blank on her name while recording this episode. She played Skeeter Phlan, and Viola Davis played Aibileen Clark. All names that would not come to me.
• Love Does by Bob Goff. The part where he talks about getting into law school is not a lesson in how to get into law school. Instead, it shows the power of our words and how they can change people's lives.
• Steve Martin has hosted SNL 15 times. I thought it was 7. Chris wants to be the Steve Martin of the Fostering Voices Podcast. He should aim for Alec Baldwin status, as he has hosted 17 times. Here's the clip that made me think Steve, and my boy Justin, had only been on 7 times.

The (Good) Word of the Day "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." -Proverbs 17:22

Even when we are in a negative situation, it is possible to still find good - if you look for it. Friends, we encourage you to be an empowered person who empowers people! With your life. With your attitude. With your words. And we also mentioned that if you are in need of prayer, we want to pray for you! Hit us up at [email protected] (I know. So unprofessional. A Yahoo account!) We are not just saying we will pray for you. We will actually do it. Thank you for walking on our journey with us. We want to walk on yours with you as well. And, if you have a moment, please leave a review of this podcast on iTunes!

Do you struggle with what to say when people tell you they are doing something that you have no inclination to do? Whether it's running a marathon, or going plant-based, or fostering, we can now respond to others in the same way: "Wow, that's cool."

Do you ever struggle with the right words to say? Someone tells you what they are up to, and this is not an invitation for you to tell them all the reasons you aren't doing the same thing. Try this on for size: "Wow. That's cool." For example, someone tells you that they are going to buy a new truck. Instead of telling them why you think that a bad idea, financially and environmentally, why don't you just say: "Wow. That's cool." The reason I am talking about this today, is because as a foster parent, I hear something that drives me, and other foster parents, crazy. It goes a little something like this: Me: "Oh yeah, I am a foster parent." Others: "Wow. I could never do that. I would get too attached." Me: Swallowing my feelings of confusion/annoyance/hurt. So today, we are all - and I am included in this, going to learn to respond with: "Wow. That's cool."

Advice for future foster parents and all humans:

If you have said this to a foster parent before - do not feel bad or ashamed! I have personally heard this over 100 times. From family members, to friends, to waitresses, to people at the park. Sometimes we don't mean what we say, and sometimes people hear something that our words did not intend. But I am telling everyone - we still need to stop saying this. If you are about to become a foster parent - gird your loins. You Will Hear This. A lot. So prepare yourself now, and decide how you will respond. I used to feel so bad when people would say this to me. But I'm 4 years in, and used to the comment. I can now shake it off because Taylor told me to do so. I hope you will be able to do the same.

In today's episode, I mention:

• Michael J Fox's book: Always Looking Up: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. He says that it's "not all about protection, but perspective." And he talks about the beauty of Risk and Opportunity. I look at fostering like a great opportunity that certainly involves risk. And strangely enough, some of the risks involve not liking, or connecting with the child that comes into your home. We need to stop worrying about how to protect ourselves so much and shift our perspective on how we can help others, even if it's hard. This doesn't look like fostering or adopting for everyone. It's not what Michael talks about in his book at all. But what is something you might need to change your perspective on? There will probably be some risk, and some need to part with some of your time and/or resources, but the opportunities that await you, and the person you are going to help, are great.
• I also randomly mention a marketing book I am reading by Donald Miller called Building a StoryBrand. The gist of this book is that successful companies need to position themselves as a Guide to help a Hero (their customers) through their story. This is the basis of all great movies and books you have ever encountered. When I first started to foster, I made myself the hero of that period of my life. It didn't go well. I now realize that when I position myself as the guide, helping these little heroes through their stories, everyone wins. This is true in business, movies, and everyday life, whether you foster or not.
• I also mentioned my friend Hanna, who is a plant-based nutritionist, who makes Cashew Queso. I don't think she delivers, but you can still check her out on Facebook.
• I also want to take this opportunity to make peace with my listeners who are Cat People, Vegans, Exercise Freaks. I love you all equally and I admire you for all that you do. Sorry if I offended you in this episode, or at any other point in our relationship. I too am learning to respond with: "Wow. That's cool."

Today's (Good) Word of the Day: "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else," Galatians 6:4

Let's remember that the choices that others make are not a reflection on who we are, or the choices we make. Let's be confident in what we are doing, and how we are living, that we can simply celebrate what others are doing. Empowered people empower people! Thanks for tuning in and see you again next Saturday!

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook Fostering Voices on Instagram Jihae Watson on Instagram and feel free to leave a review on iTunes or wherever you are listening to this podcast!

Elisa Watson shares her experience when she fostered a sweet little girl for 21 months! Though this sweet girl showed up with lice and dirty clothes (textbook scenario), Elisa and her family showed her what it's like to live in a family where there is order, boundaries, and unconditional love.