Freedomain with Stefan Molyneux

We've been fighting so badly that our four children are begging us to divorce!

We met in high school in 2000. I was 18, she was 16; I was a senior, she was a junior. We'd known each other for about a month then started dating and got married five years later and then had our first kid in 2008. We have four children.

I'm in the military, traveled all over the world. We've gone pretty much everywhere together. A couple deployments, spent some time overseas. We're now back stateside.

It's been a somewhat tumultuous relationship. I think there have been issues with trust over the years on my part. You know, we both feel as though we have changed to try to accommodate the other person, but over the last, say, since the start of the new year, fights have gotten just incredibly worse.

We went to counseling years ago and that helped somewhat. Your conversation helped somewhat. That was about two years ago.

We had kind of peeled the onion back and determined that there were some childhood trauma issues with her side of the family, with mother and father. We talked somewhat about my side of the family, but identifying some of those issues from the past helped somewhat. We saw a marriage reconciler online in around the August time frame and that seemed to help.

So we're both very Christian. I'm trying to be a pastor, and that's a five-year seminary train up, and I'm about a year and a half into it. I'm also preaching about once to twice a month at our church and filling in various roles there. My wife helps out with the Sunday school. The kids are all involved.

I would say, you know, from the outside, it's the ideal life. You know, we have everything that we can do. could possibly want to need and the tumultuousness between the two of us, it's sad. We saw this marriage reconciler back in August time frame, had a few meetings. He helped us to patch things up from a biblical perspective and to kind of forgive and agree to kind of move on. And that helped.

And then about a month ago, we got into a big argument. I said we had a friend of ours who was over. I had had a couple of drinks and I was saying things--and I'm giving the paraphrased version--but I said a couple of things that upset my wife. They were not kind.

Then we went inside, got into it a little bit more and I thought she was saying something to the effect that she was going to leave again, which I had told her I didn't like. The argument had been over a procedure to have her laser eye surgery done. So then I got mad at her and said, "Oh, well, you're just gonna do this and to ruin the ruin the family?" and of course that's a that's a terrible thing to say. Then it just got worse from there. It's been weeks and weeks of non-stop bitterness, sadness, anger, back and forth. Yelling. I do not want to bias my side to say like, I'm the saint here. So if you want to drill down and get some details on things, I can do that. But I'm just kind of giving the wave tops.

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Sunday Morning Live 5 November 2023

In this stream:

"Your steel man argument for aggressive parenting blew me away."

"Why do people post about about the atrocity of their life, then insult all who question them about it?"

"Do you have any comments on the massive increase in dissatisfaction with working corporate jobs? I notice this on X a lot. I find it annoying as I just got my first job and I feel very grateful and have lots of excitement about the future"

And more!

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UpB question: I may be mistaken on the tenets, but if the basis of UPB seems to be offenses against someone's wishes/boundaries (rape being not UPB because it is not possible for it to be consensual, thus always guaranteed to be against someone's wishes/guaranteed to be breaking their boundaries...), then why can something only be immoral if it's part of a category that has to be against someone's wishes?

What if someone does something intentionally sadistic, such as knowing someone's trigger and pushing against it, but that thing is not physical but, let's say, sonic (making a certain noise known to be distressing)? Or lies about someone, to be more general? Just because something can be, in your assessments, not a case of immorality in the Category, why does that mean that the whole category is now off the table to not be UPB?


Emotions have opposites: happy/sad, mad/calm, laughter/serious...

What is the opposite of temptation?


What are some great ways to teach children about evil and how to recognise it? How do you make it age appropriate?


What are your thoughts on the difference between an assertive tone vs a raised voice/yelling. The way my wife speaks to the children sounds sometimes like yelling, but to her it sounds confident and assertive. For example, my son was fooling around going down the stairs while I had my other son in my hands and she saw and spoke harshly to him saying "stop, turn around, go downstairs safely", and he cried. I think he just got scared and was in an already stressful situation going down stairs, but I also thought it sounded very close to yelling.

I have wondered how much my early childhood trauma of being yelled at a lot plays into my current interpretation of her voice, but even then the difference seems to me somewhat subtle. How can I objectively identify these two cases?


How do we stop ourselves becoming corrupt in this now corrupt world? This world and society reminds me of Batman: the dark knight rises.


As a person in my early 20s there was a time before the Internet and tech. Since your daughter is 14, did she have a pre internet and tech life? And how do you think parents should navigate this?


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"Hey, Stef, would you elaborate more on success anxiety, please? When I reach a new level of success, there's a brief high followed by a lot of anxiety. Or occasionally, I will envision a new endeavor going perfectly, and when it doesn't, I berate myself for even trying, even if I was successful overall."

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One of the most jaw-dropping call in shows you will ever hear...

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4 November 2023 Livestream

Izzy roasts me live!


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Locals Questions - answered!

What were the most frustrating jobs you had working for someone else, and what were your experiences there that were mind boggling? Did you develop your business plan for your own venture while working with them?

I'm curious what the most frustrating experiences you had were - incompetency, lack of planning, lack of communication, irrational behaviors or decisions - and how you may have used them to motivate you to build something for yourself.

Seeing your gifts and intelligence, I assume it's been true for you for a long time that you knew you'd be happiest building something yourself, which is what lead to your entrepreneurship and of course Freedomain.

As only when one starts something and runs it does one have full responsibility, creative freedom, etc.

Hi Stef! Is there a connection between the increasing popularity of celebrating Halloween and trauma/child abuse? Many thanks.

Any tips on journalling organically? How can one know when the subconscious is speaking directly without corruption?

What are your thoughts on the Shroud of Turin?

In your recent video, you said that women who return to childhood mannerisms when flirting are incredibly dangerous. Can you please elaborate on this? Why exactly are they dangerous and can you perhaps give us some examples? Thank you.

Do you hate the Virtue of God?

Why do I become a Troll? For reference, Paranoid Schizo Mother whose parents fled Hungary, Father was Metis born. Both did drugs and alcohol.

What are your thoughts on a family constitution? Have you ever sat down with your family and negotiated on the guiding principles and how the family should be composed?

Hi Stefan, perhaps you have some words about this problem I have since you are the description of philosophically fit human.

Similar to a body builder, I know what to do. I know how to have 6 pack abs. Infact, I think most people know how to. But why don't they?

Becoming "philosophically" fit in my eyes is to embody your values. Philosophically, morally, ethically i know what to do. I know what's right. and similar to eating fatty foods, I know how to really destroy my own progress.

This is where the question comes in. The difference between me working out is that my body is submissive. It does not question the decision my brain makes. It follows my lead and has given up it's resistances for me gong to the gym. I don't have any problems creating scenarios around eating healthy or working out my body. How can I apply this principal with other pd arts of my life? I find a part of me can loudly resist decisions I make and i use this as my steering wheel for life. I'd like to hear your thoughts around "controlling the vessel / body" and why my decisions / body are functioning on 2 different but connected... idk, cords?

TL;DR: When I know whats right, why do I sometimes find my body makes it hard to generate energy / feelings toward completing the task and other times it can find infinite energy?

What is your opinion on Daniel Macklers idea that we shouldn't have children unless we are "fully healed of our trauma".

Is such a thing even possible?

Can you share some thoughts on the human need for transcendence? Can art replace the abstract benefits of religion?

Hi Stef. My best friend's wife tried to murder him. He was in a coma for over two months after she shot him five times in the head in front of their child while he was coding at his computer. Everything indicates she did it because she didn't love him anymore and wanted money. For example they had $500,000 in savings, a paid off house, and she tried to take out a new life insurance policy without him knowing of course a week prior to the shooting. She is out on bond awaiting trial. He still loves her and sometimes says he wants to have her back in his life just so that she can be a mother to their child. How do I convince him that their relationship is over and irreparable?


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31 October 2023 Call-In

A father whose daughter had a conversation with Stef finds himself angry! He calls in to talk about how he can help his daughter. Is it even possible?


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We chat again with Dr. Duke Pesta, this time on THE TRUTH ABOUT SIN!

We explore gratitude and its historical significance, emphasizing its role in our relationship with God. We discuss self-ownership and how it sets humans apart from animals, as well as the concept of free will and its connection to consciousness. We address the lack of gratitude in society and its impact, and also delve into the issue of sin and Jesus' perspective on it. We discuss the importance of faith, evaluate different ideologies, and highlight the significance of actively loving others.


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1 November 2023 Livestream

Rebel bands, bleeding your capacity for heroism, revolutions without bloodshed, Bitcoin, controversy sparked by complimenting women on traditional hobbies, the importance of both mothers and fathers during childhood, and questions to ask yourself.

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Get access to the audiobook for my new book 'Peaceful Parenting,' StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, and the 22 Part History of Philosophers series!

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