Lotte and Stu have put the kids in bed in order to have a good kiki about the amazing new LGBTQ+ dating show, I Kissed a Boy. The BBC show follows a group of gay men as they try to find love in an Italian messeria. Lotte and Stu breakdown who is who and chat through the already dramatic events that take place in the first two episodes. Join us each week for these special bonus editions of From Gay to Ze dedicated to the queer Love Island!

From Gay to Ze gets hot and steamy as Lotte and Stu ask psychosexologist Dr Karen Gurney if having children really means the death of your sex life. Karen, a queer parent herself, addresses this and chats to Lotte and Stu about the nuances involved with having intimate moments with yourself or a partner when you are an LGBTQ+ parent. Dr Gurney also helps us answer a problem from a listener involving the practicalities of lesbian sex with a pregnant bump.

And in their weekly catch up Stu drops a shock wedding bombshell and Lotte shares a run in with a straight woman who asked if queer people had queer kids.

Links:

How to not let having kids ruin your sex life (online course on demand - use code GAYTOZE15 for 15% off ): https://havelockonlineworkshops.teachable.com/p/good-sex-for-new-parents

The following free exercises for improving communication around sex can all be found at:

https://thehavelockclinic.com/resources/

-Your conditions for good sex

-How to have the conversation to get the sex life you want

-Your sex life reset exercise

How do you talk to your kids about death? … And other tricky subjects. This week it’s just Lotte and Stu because they (selfishly?) want some time to themselves. Stu shares his positive experience of discussing Trans pregnancy with his 8 year old, while Lotte is keen to address some listener feedback: just how annoying is this show?

Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Stu and Lotte. Nedra is a New York Times best-selling author, licensed therapist, and sought-after relationship expert. Her new book “Drama Free” is an empowering guide that offers clear advice for identifying dysfunctional family patterns and choosing the best path to breaking the cycle and moving forward. Stu and Lotte discuss the drama their respective kids bring, and enjoy some of the therapeutic advice from Nedra! They also discuss the extremes in their lives, from attending Dior parties with robot bartenders, to the joy of sitting alone in a cinema on a wet afternoon.

Nedra's book is called Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships.

Find Lotte and Stu on Substack at fromgaytoze.substack.com and reach out to us and [email protected] or www.speakpipe.com/fromgaytoze

Thanks to the London Shard's Shangrila Hotel. We are shouting them out in this episode as thanks for lots of support for From Gay to Ze and The Queer Parent.

Author John Marrs on life as a gay dad via surrogacy and his new book The Marriage Act. John, Lotte and Stu chat about being a queer family in the countryside, and finding your LGBTQ+ identity. We also hear John’s hot take on the story that scientists have created an embryo from two male mice; science gone mad, or the next step in queer parenting? Elsewhere, Stu is giving up caffeine, and our latest ‘A problem shared’ deals with parent labels at school.

Queer, polyamorous and disabled writer, activist and solo parent, Cathy Reay joins Lotte and Stu. They discuss how Cathy juggles her family and relationships, and how polyamory works for her. Cathy talks about the highs and lows of being a disabled parent, including how uncomfortable she can feel on the school run. Stu and Lotte also ask Cathy for practical advice on how to nurture kids' curiosity in disabled people, and tackling shame and prejudice for disabled people.

When you’re in a queer partnership, and there are no gendered expectations in domestic life, who does what around the house? Crucially who does the most? Is it really as equal as you think? Lotte and Stu talk about how they balance house jobs and parenting with their spouses, and welcome author of The Equal Parent, Paul Morgan-Bentley, whose book reveals the science behind caregiving and unpicks the reasons why so much in the straight parenting world falls to women. We discuss the patronising and reductive view of fatherhood that prevails in modern society (don’t get Stu started!) and we learn something about ‘biological’ parenting that blows our minds. This is a fascinating episode full of brilliant insights about what happens to our brains when we become parents and it challenges the idea of the maternal instinct being something only women can have. Let us know your thoughts - email [email protected]

If you are considering IVF either for yourself or with a surrogate, you won’t want to miss this episode. Lotte and Stu find out all about Gaia; a new IVF insurance service which - if you qualify - can really take the sting out of the astronomical costs of fertility treatment. Lotte shares her own experience of failing to conceive with IVF and Lucy Slack from Gaia answers our questions on IVF insurance, like ‘OK so what’s the catch’? We also meet a same-sex couple who were the first to have a baby after being insured with Gaia. They talk about the crippling financial cost and impact of fertility treatment on their mental health, and how Gaia helped them continue their journey. This episode is sponsored by Gaia and -- TW -- contains mention of pregnancy loss and miscarriage.

Find out more about Gaia online.

Comedian and fellow podcaster Suzi Ruffell chats about life and laughter as a queer parent, and helps Lotte and Stu to answer a listener's 'Problem Shared'. They also chat queer representation, including THAT episode of The Last of Us.

Trans activist Munroe Bergdorf riffs on the themes of her new book, Transitional. Munroe, Lotte and Stu discuss the importance - and the inevitability - of transitioning in all aspects of life, including when you become a parent. Lotte and Stu also help a seahorse dad who has a question around fashion when pregnant.