Self-love shouldn't come with conditions, yet so many of us hold ourselves hostage to impossible standards. I’m tackling this concept of "transactional self-love" in this throwback episode. Transactional self-love are the unconscious bargains we make with ourselves, promising kindness and acceptance only after certain benchmarks are met.
 
We've all said it: "I'll love myself when I lose weight," "I'll be kind to myself once my divorce is finalized," or "I'll accept myself when I find someone new." These conditional statements reveal how deeply we've internalized the message that we must earn our own affection. I explore this phenomenon through multiple lenses; our biological negativity bias, childhood experiences of conditional love, and the societal conditioning that teaches women their value depends on external factors.
 
The relationship you have with yourself forms the foundation for every other relationship in your life. When you withhold compassion from yourself, you're likely applying the same transactional approach to others. Breaking free from this pattern starts with awareness – identifying your personal conditions for self-acceptance and consciously choosing more compassionate alternatives.
 
Through practical steps and thoughtful guidance, I demonstrate how to build an unshakable foundation of self-love that doesn't fluctuate based on achievements or circumstances. This isn't about achieving perfect self-love but creating a baseline of acceptance that supports you through life's inevitable challenges. You'll learn how to recognize your conditional thinking and practice new neural pathways of self-compassion through consistent, intentional thought work.

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