Full-Time Grievers

There are many metaphors for the long, deeply personal process of grieving. Using the analogy of ocean tides can be another useful way to relate to the recurring experience of various elements of our grief, including heightened emotion and Survival Mode reactivity that persist or return long after the initial period of mourning. This episode is perfect for those wondering why they “aren’t getting over it yet”.

In the initial period of acute grief following a loved one’s death, many of us experience more frequent and intense Survival Mode reactions along with or instead of intense emotion. We may go into a state of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and/or Appease more regularly or for a sustained period, and feel less sadness, sorrow, or grief than we would otherwise expect. Nathan and Selysa discuss examples of this and how to address it.

Notice, Name, Touch™ is an emotional processing tool developed by the Center for Emotional Education.

In the initial period of acute grief following a loved one’s death, many of us experience more frequent and intense Survival Mode reactions along with or instead of intense emotion. We may go into a state of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and/or Appease more regularly or for a sustained period, and feel less sadness, sorrow, or grief than we would otherwise expect. Nathan and Selysa discuss examples of this and how to address it.

Notice, Name, Touch™ is an emotional processing tool developed by the Center for Emotional Education.

Selysa and Nathan take a look at the most common (and most famous) misinformation about grieving the death of a loved one: “The 5 Stages of Grief”. Even though Kubler-Ross was studying the terminally ill and what they tend to go through (not bereaved people), and even though she wrote that these stages themselves were not linear – western culture has misappropriated and enshrined this way of relating to the messy, idiosyncratic journey each of us takes through mourning. They also talk about other useful ways to relate to the long term process(es) of grieving. 

Nathan shares about working with grief in different ways throughout life. The journey includes compartmentalizing the grief around losing grandparents in younger years, which was finally opened up and explored when Nathan's chosen brother, Edward, passed suddenly in 2023. Nathan shares vital tools for navigating the extreme grief of losing one's closest lifelong companion, confidante, and ally; and how Nathan is blessed by an enduring spiritual connection with Edward.

Selysa vulnerably shares about her personal relationship with grief, which started at age nine, and continues to this day. She dives into how she healed from losing two abusive parents as an adolescent, as well as several close friends to suicide and overdose as an adult. A hidden blessing she received from grief is peace with her inevitable death because she lives every day in alignment with her passions and purpose.

Free Download:

In this inaugural episode, Founder of the Sacramento Reiki Center, Selysa Love,  and cofounder of the Center for Emotional Education, Nathan M McTague, discuss being open to getting help, remembering that (while being alone with our feelings is inevitable and important) we’re not meant to grieve in isolation, keeping in mind that people want to help and many may not know how.

They also walk listeners through a free downloadable guide to help the grieving person to organize their thoughts and take appropriate actions for coordinating support in their time of need.

Get the free downloadable guide here: