Full-Time Grievers

What if forgiveness isn’t something you owe — but something you offer to free yourself? In this episode, we explore forgiveness as a radical act of self-love, not a requirement to reconcile or tolerate mistreatment.

We talk about what it means to forgive someone who has died, especially if the relationship was complicated or painful. We also dive into the tender process of forgiving yourself — for what you did, didn’t do, or wish you had done.

Using the lens of compassion and the “always do your best” mindset, we unpack how forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing grief, not bypassing it.

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 Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

As a companion to Episode 4, Debunking the 5 Stages of Grief, Nathan and Selysa delve into other ways of relating to the different periods and processes in grieving. Drawing from the three intervals and four orientations described in Conscious Grieving by Claire Bidwell Smith, as well as Psychologist J. William Worden’s “4 Tasks of Mourning” framework. A highly useful resource in orienting to your grief, especially if you’re wondering if you’re “doing it wrong.”

 Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

This episode can help prepare you, the griever, for the inevitable drop in support that will likely happen within six months of your loved one passing away. What do you do when your support system has run out of capacity, but you are still grieving?

1. Kindly communicate that you are still grieving, including boundaries around your time and commitments. 

2. Get the support you need in a long term sustainable way.

 Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Most of us received childhood gender socialization: we were assigned a gender at birth, and we were trained to behave in accordance with that gender’s rules and expectations. Selysa and Nathan unpack the research (and lack thereof) of how this gender conditioning affects the grieving process in individuals, heterosexual couples, and queer relationships. 

Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Send this episode to your loved ones who are supporting you while you grieve. Don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving? You don’t need you to. They just need you to be there. Sound easier said than done? Then give this episode a listen. 

Nathan and Selysa discuss the harm of platitudes, why it's important to bring up the person who passed away, how to identify and meet the needs of the grieving person, avoiding caregiver burnout, and nervous system coregulation between the supporting person and the grieving person, among other important related topics.

Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving⁠

Have you ever lost someone you loved, but your relationship was far from perfect?  This episode delves into the painful and complex experience of grieving a complicated relationship, whether marked by estrangement, abuse, or a final, devastating argument. We explore the emotional rollercoaster of grief in these circumstances, acknowledging the guilt, anger, and confusion that can arise. We'll also introduce the Suicide Survivor's Bill of Rights as a tool for navigating the often-unspoken challenges of complicated grief. 

Free Download:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ How to Receive Support While Grieving

Grief isn't a temporary chapter; it's a lifelong companion that constantly evolves. In the immediate aftermath, it can feel like a demanding  120-hour-per-week job. For the rest of your days, you may feel a new form of presence with  your departed. Processing your sadness is the key to rediscovering joy and finding meaning in a world that feels irrevocably altered. Join us as we explore the complexities of being a full-time griever.

In this episode, Selysa and Nathan explore the profound and enduring connection that exists between the living and the deceased through the infinite power of love. This special episode features a guided meditation by Selysa, designed to help you deepen your connection with your departed loved ones through your shared bond of unconditional love. This meditation is most suitable for those who have progressed beyond the acute phase of grief, typically experienced within the first six months of loss. We encourage you to engage with this practice as a way to nurture your ongoing relationship with your beloved.

Guilt and regret are extremely common feelings that are a part of most grieving processes. These feelings can even come up for those with the most idyllic dying stories: passing away at home from old age surrounded by loved ones.  This episode helps listeners to identify what type of guilt they may be experiencing. Nathan & Selysa share their personal experiences navigating and processing  guilt in the wake of the death of a loved one.

Grieving comes with so many different and often intense feelings. Sometimes it’s right for us to engage with those feelings consciously and deeply. Sometimes, for lots of reasons, the feelings can be too intense to engage. Selysa and Nathan talk about why this can happen and what you can do in both cases. This episode takes a close look at some important nervous system and emotion regulation strategies for acute and active grief.