Fxck Fear

Divorcing a narcissist is hell but navigating the divorce process is still better than the hell one endures in a narcissistic relationship.

Episode three in the Fear + Divorce series covers the layered stages of fear one faces while divorcing a narcissist, as told through the personal experience of host Catenya McHenry.

"I was afraid the narcissist would retaliate, which he did. I was afraid of continued verbal abuse, which there was more than anything, I was afraid of feeling deeply guilty for pursuing divorce in the first place– knowing there was no hope of continuing the marriage," says Catenya.

Reading chapters from her book Married to a Narcissist, Catenya recalls how fear kept her in the relationship five years too long. And she talks about the positive ways that fear propelled her forward into more peace and happiness.

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Article: 7 Things to Anticipate If You're Planning to Leave an Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist. Read more.

Book: Married to a Narcissist. Buy here.

Deciding to leave a marriage or relationship whether it's with a narcissist is a big decision and one that may come with fear, trepidation and anxiety, as host Catenya McHenry speaks about in this episode.

She tried for years to make it work. She tried not to leave. She did not want to be the one to make such an impactful decision that would end it all but ultimately she had no choice–she was fighting a losing battle. 

As she reads from her book, Married to a Narcissist, Catenya realized that if she stayed, nothing would change and the abuse would continue. "I was afraid that if I stayed, I would die and who would be there for my children?" 

Tune in to hear Catenya talk through the various stages of leaving the relationship, the ways that fear showed up and how she found the courage to exit.

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Sometimes fear is the force that keeps you in a bad relationship far too long. If you are thinking about calling it quits and filing for divorce, fear could also be the thing that's causing you anxiety and trepidation.

In this episode, host Catenya McHenry speaks from personal experience about the long list of fears she faced before she filed. She reads emotional passages from her book, Married to a Narcissist and she speaks candidly and honestly about how fear kept her in the toxic, narcissistic relationship five years too long. She was scared of a lot of things; how would she live, how would she raise her three children on her own, how would she survive, how would divorce negatively impact her children, and so much more.

Season 4 includes seven episodes about Fear + Divorce.

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After a six-month hiatus to process, heal and deal with a sudden and unexpected death, host Catenya McHenry returns to talk about who died and how his death has impacted her life and the lives of her children.

In this very personal and vulnerable episode, Catenya sorts through a myriad of complicated emotions involving anger, joy and grief and she talks about why, more than anything, she feels a sense of relief. From being sued for full custody to a dramatic trial in family court and psychological abuse, she feels an enormous burden is lifted.

Catenya is not afraid to talk about the essence of release and relief and she talks about the experience of gratitude and peace– to finally be able to breathe.

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This first episode of the new Fuck Fear season four explores fears one experiences before making the final decision to petition for divorce and explores the difficulty and fear if children are involved.

Host Catenya McHenry speaks from deeply personal experience as she reveals why fear kept her in the relationship longer.

Reading excerpts from her book, Married to a Narcissist, she reveals, "I stayed five years too long thinking I would be the one responsible for dismantling the family unit, and I was afraid that would be too much guilt to live with."

Vulnerability envelopes this episode as she talks about her fears, trepidations and anxiety during the decision-making process. Catenya shares how fear also propelled her to move forward with filing even though she was afraid of hurting her children.

"I was afraid that I might die an early death from crushing stress, and emotional turmoil and I realized there was no way I could continue to live that way. The divorce was my personal rescue mission."

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Season 4 of the Fuck Fear podcast is coming soon. This season's theme is about Fear + Divorce. Host Catenya McHenry will speak from first hand experience of fears she faced before deciding to call it quits twelve years ago. "With the divorce rate still riding close to 50 percent, I thought it appropriate to talk about this very relevant and relatable topic and all the fears that one experiences, especially if you're divorcing a narcissist," she says.

Season 4 will shed light on not only fears prior to divorce but also during, post-divorce, how narcissists try to use fear as a weapon, custody issues, family court, fear of being re-traumatized, a fear of dating again, rediscovering yourself and who you are outside of the relationship, and ultimately, fears faced during the healing process.

Experts and others will join this season to share their stories in hopes of inspiring and encouraging listeners to be brave enough to find more peace and freedom.

Happy Birthday! February 22 marks one-year of the Fuck Fear podcast! It's been an amazing year of exploring fears, asking why, and giving listeners tips and strategies on how to conquer and overcome fear.

In this episode, host Catenya McHenry takes a look back on some of her favorite episodes and we count down the TOP 5 of all time. Can you guess which ones? Be sure to listen and then enter our Instagram GIVEAWAY.

"This is a heroic act and whistleblowers help justice reach places where it would never be," says Mitch Kreindler, whistleblower lawyer. From Watergate to Enron, Facebook, and Theranos, throughout history, whistleblowers have activated the demise of a company. Recently, the bravery of whistleblowers in the case of Elizabeth Holmes at Theranos led to her eventual conviction. But revealing inside workings and wrongdoings of a company come with great risk, anxiety, and fear.

Whistleblower lawyer Mitch Kreindler at Kreindler & Associates joins this episode to talk about why his practice is solely focused on representing whistleblowers and he gives insight about the abuse, emotional, psychological, and physical toll his clients experience throughout the process of deciding to blow the whistle on their company. "Find a way to bring down the giant," says Mitch.

Resources:

Whistleblower Protection Program

Whistleblower Revolution Podcast

Fraud in America Podcast

National Whistleblower Center

Blowthewhistle.com

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Projection is a real thing and when someone projects their own fears onto another person, it can feel weighty. As host Catenya McHenry discusses in this episode, projection happens for many reasons. There are times when people are told by another individual, 'you can't do that, or you won't be able to make that happen,' It's not because they think you don't have the ability — they know you're able and capable and that's what scares them. The doubter is afraid of your success, afraid that you'll somehow be better than them, and afraid that you will outshine them. They are sometimes intimidated by your confidence. What they don't realize is that their doubt is your motivator to be greater, to do the thing they told you that you couldn't. In many cases their projection has less to do with you and more to do with their insecurities — and fears.

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"Loneliness like joy and wonder, are all part of the human condition but we need to constantly care for our need to connect to others," says Shari Foos, marriage and family therapist at The Narrative Method.

In her practice and education, Shari says the topic of loneliness and the fear of being alone is something that comes up in nearly all her sessions with clients.

On this episode, Shari talks about the fact that every human being will experience loneliness at some point in life, how to prepare for loneliness in relationships, and how the pandemic has limited human connection, exacerbating loneliness. She also talks about how dating after divorce sometimes creates a fear of being alone and a fear of not finding true love and companionship.

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