Garden Plots with Skeletor

THEY SAY THAT DEATH RIDES A PALE HORSE... AND SO, TOO, DOES EPISODE 11! AND DESPITE THE SLIGHTLY UNCONVENTIONAL SETTING OF THIS RECORDING (DUE IN NO SMALL PART TO THE CURRENTLY UNCONVENTIONAL LAYOUT OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN), MY FONT OF GARDENING KNOWLEDGE REMAINS FREE-FLOWING! ALL THE BETTER FOR YOU HAPLESS HARE-BRAINED HORTICULTURALISTS, AS WE DISCUSS THE NIGH-UBIQUITOUS SPIDER PLANT! WE EXAMINE THE POTENTIAL LETHALITY OF ROSEMARY! AND IF YOU ARE LAMENTING THE FACT THAT WE DON'T GET INTO IDEAL FIRST PLANTS FOR CHILDREN, BLAME SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S MOST RECENT MARITIME MONARCH! HE CAN CLING TO HIS HOLLOW "CAMPAIGN PROMISES" AND "COGENT AND SUSTAINABLE POLICY STRATEGIES FOR LONG-TERM PLANNING AND SUCCESS" ALL HE LIKES--IT WILL DO HIM LITTLE GOOD ONCE SKELETOR'S VICTORY FINALLY AND INEVITABLY COMES TO PASS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

FALL ON YOUR KNEES IN GRATEFUL SUPPLICATION BEFORE EPISODE TEN! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO ME ON A CONSTANT AND DAILY BASIS, BUT THAT GRATITUDE IS ESPECIALLY APPROPRIATE NOW, AS THIS IS THE LONG-AWAITED SUCCULENT EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, HERE WE WILL EXAMINE THAT EVER-SO PERSISTENT AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSE THAT COMES TO GARDENERS OF ALL LEVELS OF EXPERIENCE: THE URGE TO ATTEMPT TO KEEP ALIVE A PLANT THAT PREFERS ARID ENVIRONMENTS! A DIFFICULT TASK MADE ALL THE MORE DIFFICULT BY THE ILL-ADVISED CONSTRUCTION PLANS OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S LATEST OVERLORD AND BY THE CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF ITS NEWEST FULL-TIME MINION! STILL, IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR CRITICAL INFORMATION ON ECHEVERIAS, PANDA PLANTS, OR THE MULTIFACETED NATURE OF ONE OF HE-MAN'S BRAINLESS BOOB BUDDIES, THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! ...SERIOUSLY, LOOKING ANY FURTHER THAN THIS EPISODE IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Calculaytor: Adal Rifai Man-E-Faces: Joshua Taulbee Whiplash: Liz Logan

YOUR NIGHTMARE CONTINUES UNABATED AS THE NEWEST EPISODE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR EMERGES INTO AN UNPREPARED WORLD! DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SIMILARLY UNPREPARED, LISTENER, AS A NUMBER OF TOPICS OF OVERWHELMING IMPORTANCE ARE DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT ONLY DOES THIS EPISODE PROVIDE YOU WITH LITERALLY PRICELESS INFORMATION ABOUT WEEDS, GARDENING TOOLS, AND SQUASH, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE THOSE AMONG US WHO ARE LEGION? WHO ARE LIKELY CAPABLE OF TRANSFORMING INTO A SWARM OF STINGING INSECTS DESPITE ALL THEIR PROTESTATIONS TO THE CONTRARY? WELL IT'S TRUE! YOU CAN'T AFFORD *NOT* TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE, LEST YOU FIND YOURSELF TURNED INTO SO MUCH FERTILIZER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Cody: Shiane D. Jacocks Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

guess what? some weird stuff happened and we have a non-normal episode. again. i know, i'm shocked too. you may not learn as much about plants this time around, but maybe you'll learn something about... life? you'll definitely learn that you can't trust a single person in or around snake mountain, that's for sure.

Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor Whiplash: Liz Logan Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Ram Man: Jay Edidin Perfuma: Meganbob

NOTHING CAN STOP THE TERRIFYING MOMENTUM OF EPISODE SEVEN! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT EVEN SOME DOWNRIGHT IMPLAUSIBLE ARCHITECTURAL REDESIGNS FROM SPITEFUL CONTRACTARIANS! IT DOES CHANGE THE OVERALL TEXTURE OF THE EPISODE, BUT DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT MEANS THAT YOU'LL BE RECEIVING ANY LESS THAN AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF PLANT FACTOIDS! YOU'LL BE ENLIGHTENED ABOUT THE FERAL AND HIGHLY PRACTICAL BUTTERFLY WEED! YOU'LL HAVE YOUR EYES OPENED TO THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO WATER YOUR PLANTS! YOU'LL RECEIVE FOXGLOVE-RELATED INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE A FURRY IDIOT NEAR YOU! YOU'LL ALSO LEARN SOME RANDOM FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES, EYE NOMENCLATURE, AND WOLFBATS--NOT DIRECTLY PLANT-BASED, BUT THAT'S JUST HOW OVERFLOWING WITH HELPFUL TIDBITS THIS EPISODE IS! ENJOY MY MAGNANIMITY... WHILE IT LASTS! NYAHAHAHAHA! [Additional audio this episode from tabletopaudio.com] Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Tri-Klops: James D'Amato Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

NOTE THE DEEP FEELINGS OF DREAD IN YOUR BONES WHEN YOU LOOK UPON EPISODE SIX, LISTENER, AND TAKE CARE THAT YOU TREAD LIGHTLY! ALSO NOTE HOW IMMEDIATE THE REGRET IS WHEN MY OWN RIGHTEOUS LEADERSHIP IS REJECTED, AS MY FORMER MINIONS DEMONSTRATE ALL TOO CLEARLY IN THIS VERY EPISODE! BUT THE LEARNING DOESN'T STOP THERE, AS WE DELVE INTO THE SECRETS OF FERTILIZERS, A LISTENER QUESTION SHEDS SOME LIGHT ON PROBLEMS WITH TOMATO HARVESTS, AND WE EVEN GET SOME INCIDENTAL EXPLANATIONS ABOUT PROPAGATING PEACE LILIES! INCIDENTALLY, LISTENERS, IF YOU HAVE HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO DOWNLOAD A CERTAIN "PLANT APP" RECENTLY, LET ME KNOW--I PLAN ON LOOKING INTO EITHER A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, OR POSSIBLY SOME SORT OF APHID-BASED CURSE! SUCH IS THE WRATH OF SKELETOR! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Trap Jaw: Aaron Catano-Saez Tri-Klops: James D'Amato Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

MARK YOU THIS DATE IN HISTORY, O MEEK AND TREMBLING LISTENER, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNMATCHED FORCE OF EPISODE FIVE! AND THIS IS TRULY A MILESTONE EPISODE, AS THIS MARKS ONE OF THE FEW, IF ONLY, TIMES THAT A GUEST ON THIS SHOW HAS ACTUALLY BEEN WELCOME! WHICH, OF COURSE, DOESN'T PREVENT A VERITABLE PARADE OF *UN*INVITED GUESTS FROM FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS! FEAR NOT, FOR UNMITIGATED BUFFOONERY IS NO MATCH FOR MY GARDENING MIGHT, AND OUR DISCUSSIONS ON OXALIS TRIANGULARIS AND CHIVES REMAIN WHOLLY INTACT! BETTER STILL, AMIDST THE CHAOS OF CERTAIN MINIONS REVEALING THEIR COMPLETE LACK OF BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS, KEEN-EARED LISTENERS MAY PICK UP THE SEEDS BEING PLANTED FOR MY INEVITABLE VICTORY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Trap Jaw: Aaron Catano-Saez Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Beast Man: Rafael Medina

IF YOU AWOKE THIS MORNING WITH AN INDEFINABLE BUT UNDENIABLE FEELING OF DREAD, THAT WAS YOUR BODY'S RESPONSE TO THE INCOMING TERROR OF EPISODE 4! AND WHAT COULD BE MORE TERRIFYING AND DREAD-INDUCING THAN CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF MY GARDENING GENIUS? MY WRATH UPON THOSE WHO INTERRUPT ME, OF COURSE! TRUE, THE ILL-DRESSED CONTRACTORS AND NUMBER-CRUNCHING MINIONS IN THIS EPISODE WERE NOT *IMMEDIATELY* SMOTE DOWN BY MY ARCANE MIGHT UPON COMMITTING THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS, BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON MUCH GRANDER THINGS! THINGS LIKE SWEET POTATOES! ALSO CALENDARS AND SCHEDULING! NOT TO MENTION PLANTS THAT THE BEAST MAN IN YOUR LIFE CAN ACTUALLY MUNCH ON! YES, THESE AND OTHER TOPICS MAY HAVE DELAYED MY INEVITABLE REVENGE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THE DELAY IS ONLY TEMPORARY! VENGEANCE--AND ETERNIA--WILL BE MINE! AND IN A WAY THAT'S SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CONCRETE THAN USUAL! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Calculaytor: Adal Rifai

i asked the boss man what he wanted for this episode's description, and he just did this kind of threat-mope at me? like he would kill me with his own patheticness? i dunno, there should be a word for it. we'll call it skeletoring. he skeletored really hard at me. so... what happens in this one again? there's some plant talk, we check in with some of the changes in snake mountain, skeletor reveals some pretty dubious financial investment plans, and... well, i guess i *had* been pressuring him to find a hobby, so what happens here isn't all that surprising. still gonna say this one isn't on me, tho.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Beast Man: Rafael Medina

THERE CAN BE NO ESCAPE FROM THE EXTREMELY FINE AND NOT-AT-ALL-WALLOWING-IN-EXISTENTIAL-DISCONTENT EPISODE TWO! AND SPEAKING OF BEINGS WHO ARE ENTIRELY CONTENT WITH THE CURRENT STATE OF THINGS, I, YOUR MAGNANIMOUS HOST, AM BACK WITH YET MORE GEMS OF GARDENING WISDOM TO FOIST UPON MY BRAINLESS AUDIENCE IN THE HOPES THAT MAYBE, POSSIBLY, SOMETHING MIGHT STICK! HEREIN LIE THE SECRETS TO EFFECTIVE GARDEN LAYOUTS, USING PLANTS TO CLEAN YOUR INDOOR AIR, AND LICHEN! IT'S JUST A SHAME THAT MY SOUND MINION INSISTS UPON WATERING DOWN MY INVALUABLE WISDOM WITH INANE RAMBLINGS ABOUT "HOBBIES" AND "DOING SOMETHING WITH ONE'S LIFE!" WELL *YOUR* LIVES, LISTENERS, SHOULD BE SPENT HEEDING MY ADVICE, OR YOU MAY FIND YOURSELVES WITHOUT A LIFE AT ALL! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin