Garden Plots with Skeletor

REMEMBER WELL THIS DAY, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNPARALLELED EPISODE ELEVEN! AND THIS IS AN ESPECIALLY INSTRUCTIVE EPISODE ABOUT WHY IT IS UNWISE TO CROSS OR DISAPPOINT ME! WE START WITH TALKING ABOUT HOW TO SELECT, AND THEN STEAL, PLANTS FROM LOCAL NURSERIES! BUT THAT DISCUSSION IS CUT WOEFULLY SHORT--BECAUSE OF SOME BUNGLING FROM AN ESPECIALLY INCOMPETENT MINION, WE ARE FORCED TO REVIEW THE LETHALITY OF CERTAIN TYPES OF PLANTS! AND SPEAKING OF WOEFUL INCOMPETENCE, WHAT WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN AN INSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSION ON HOME VEGETABLE GROWTH TURNS INTO A PARADE OF IDIOCY THANKS TO MORE MINION-BASED INCOMPETENCE! TAKE AN OBJECT LESSON FROM MY MINIONS, LISTENERS: THOSE WHO ANGER ME WILL FEEL MY WRATH! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina

YOU MAY COMMENCE THANKING ME PROFUSELY FOR THE GLORY AND WONDER OF EPISODE TEN! AND FRANKLY, I EXPECT A LOT MORE GRATITUDE IN GENERAL GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF WISDOM AND GUIDANCE I PROVIDE FOR YOU PEOPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS! SINCE I HAVE NOW PROVIDED YOU WITH TEN FULL EPISODES OF SAID WISDOM AND GUIDANCE, IN FACT, I HAVE DECIDED TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE A GLIMPSE INTO MY INNER LIFE WITH ALL OF YOU! CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE DEPTHS OF MY GENEROSITY?! I POSIT THAT YOU CANNOT! LISTEN, AND HAVE YOUR WORLDVIEW FOREVER CHANGED BY THE POWER OF MY LISTS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Whiplash: Liz Logan

JUST AS THE DARKEST OF PROPHECIES PREDICTED, EPISODE NINE HAS ARRIVED IN ALL ITS HORRIFYING GLORY! PREPARE, IF YOU CAN, FOR AN ESPECIALLY EDUCATIONAL FERAL FOLIAGE SEGMENT ON THE DASTARDLY DANDELION! STEEL YOURSELVES FOR MY SAGE WISDOM ON SELECTING TRANSPLANT SEEDLINGS! TRY NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY AWE AS I ADVISE A LISTENER ON DEALING WITH UNWANTED HERBIVOROUS PESTS! AND... LOOK, LISTENERS, I'VE ONLY EVER WANTED THIS SHOW TO BE ABOUT GARDENING, BUT TWO OF MY MINIONS HAVE DECIDED TO DRAG MY PERSONAL LIFE INTO THE SPOTLIGHT! AGGRAVATING AS THIS IS, THEIR UNPROFESSIONAL QUESTIONING ACTUALLY LEADS TO SOME HIGH-QUALITY DISCUSSION ON HOW TO EVADE ASSASSINS! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS EPISODE... IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond

YOU MAY HAVE PRAYED FOR DELIVERANCE FROM EPISODE EIGHT, BUT THOSE PRAYERS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS! IN THIS EPISODE, I MAGNANIMOUSLY SHARE MY PRECIOUS AIRTIME WITH A GUEST, ONE WHO BRINGS AN... UNCONVENTIONAL VIEW OF PLANTS WITH HER! SHE AND I (REALLY JUST ME) HELP MY SOUND MINION RILEY WITH HER LAUGHABLY REMEDIAL BIOLOGY HOMEWORK! WE TRY AN OFFERING OF LIBATIONS GIVEN TO US BY A LISTENER! AND NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU, FOR THE GLORY OF MY MIDNIGHT GARDEN AWAITS... A GLORY SOON TO BE OVERSHADOWED ONCE ETERNIA ITSELF BECOMES MY GARDEN! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Lucas Brown: Himself

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE, EPISODE SEVEN LEAPS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS! AND DESPITE THE... BRIEF SETBACK OF LAST EPISODE, MY VILLAINY IS ONCE MORE IN FULL SWING THANKS TO AN INSPIRING NEW SECRET WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL OF EVIL! BE GLAD, THEN, THAT I HAVE CHOSEN ONLY TO BRING YOU PLANT KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD OF OUTRIGHT DESTRUCTION! THIS EPISODE TOUCHES ON THAT POWER-HUNGRY HERB KNOWN AS MINT! WE SPEAK OF THE DECEPTIVELY TREACHEROUS PEACE LILY, AS WELL AS THE OPENLY TOXIC POTHOS! I ONCE AGAIN ATTEMPT TO GRANT WISDOM TO MY MINIONS, TO NO AVAIL! A LISTENER QUESTION LEADS TO A CRITICAL DISCUSSION OF FERTILIZER! AND RILEY ONCE MORE OVERSTEPS HER BOUNDS AS A MINION! THANKFULLY FOR HER, AND FOR YOU, MY MALEVOLENCE REMAINS FIRMLY FIXED ON MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OF ETERNIA! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina

hey, it's riley. skeletor didn't feel like doing one of these description things for this episode, so i guess i have to be the professional one. it's a whole thing, you'll see. anyway, we talk about finding dead plants in feral foliage. we see if swedish ivy will kill beast man. we take a question from a listener about watering their peace lily. but mostly it's mer-man going over the latest plot and explaining why skeletor's being so weird. like i said, you'll see.

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard

YOU CAN NEITHER RUN NOR HIDE FROM THE TERROR OF EPISODE FIVE! NOR SHOULD YOU WANT TO, UNLESS YOU FEAR QUALITY GARDENING KNOWLEDGE OFFERED IN A PLEASING AND FORCEFUL FASHION! I TALK ABOUT TRANSITIONING YOUR GARDEN AS THE WEATHER BEGINS TO CHANGE! WE TOUCH ON THE FEARSOME AND IMMORTAL TILLANDSIA AND ITS POTENTIAL LETHALITY REGARDING BEAST MAN! I GRACE YOUR IGNORANT EARS WITH PRICELESS KNOWLEDGE REGARDING CACTUS CARE! A LISTENER'S QUESTION PROMPTS AN IN-DEPTH DISCUSSION ABOUT MINIONS, OVERLORDS, AND ENEMIES IN THE PLANT KINGDOM! AND SPEAKING OF KINGDOMS, YOU'D ALL BETTER GET USED TO SEEING A CROWN ON THIS HEAD, BECAUSE WHEELS ARE IN MOTION! FEAR THE MOTION OF MY MIGHTY WHEELS! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

LOOK UPON EPISODE FOUR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, I'M TALKING SPECIFICALLY TO YOU, HE-MAN! I GIFT YOU WITH A SLIVER OF MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF PEAS! WE SPEAK OF THE RUBBER PLANT AND ITS ADMIRABLY DARK AESTHETIC! A LISTENER QUESTION PROMPTS AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSION WITH A MINION WHO, FRANKLY, NEEDS TO LEARN TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS! I ESTABLISH MY UNQUESTIONABLE SUPERIORITY OVER A PUNY HOLIDAY! AND THE FALL OF ETERNIA'S PITIFUL ROYAL FAMILY BECOMES EVER MORE AN INEVITABILITY! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond

NOTHING IN YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL LIFE COULD HAVE PREPARED YOU FOR THE GRANDEUR OF EPISODE THREE! I INTRODUCE A MONUMENTAL NEW SEGMENT THAT WILL HAVE ALL OF ETERNIA TREMBLING AT MY FEET! I EXAMINE THE HIDDEN POWER OF THE OTHERWISE UNASSUMING SNOW DROP! I DEIGN TO SHARE WITH YOU THE SECRETS OF A SPECIALLY-MADE HOT BED! I EXPOUND UPON THE CORRECT WAY OF GROWING SAGE IN YOUR HOME! I RIGHTFULLY LAMBAST A BONE-HEADED LISTENER ABOUT LEAVING THE HEAT ON TOO HIGH! AND I DISCOVER ONE OF RILEY'S GREATEST WEAKNESSES, MUCH AS I SHALL SOON DISCOVER THE WEAKNESSES OF ALL MY ENEMIES! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin

BEHOLD, IF YOU DARE, THE MONSTROUS VISAGE OF EPISODE TWO! WE APPARENTLY NEED TO SPEND TIME TALKING ABOUT MY NEW SOUND MINION, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE ON TO DISCUSSING CARING FOR PLANTS IN WINTER! I CRUSH MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GMOS AND HEIRLOOMS LIKE THE PATHETIC VERMIN THEY ARE! I UNFORTUNATELY FIND THE NEED TO EJECT A MEDDLING MINION FROM MY RECORDING LAIR! SPEAKING OF MEDDLING MINIONS, WE EXAMINE WHETHER PARLOR PALMS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! A LISTENER INQUIRES ABOUT PLANT DORMANCY! AND THE DAWN OF MY UNIVERSAL DOMINANCE DRAWS EVER NEARER! NYAHAHAHAHA!

Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina