Gattsy on Goosebumps

A second live-action Goosebumps movie?? Not since The Empire Strikes back had the world so anticipated a sequel. Now, imagine if Empire featured only Chewbacca, with Leia returning fifteen minutes before the credits roll, and no events from the first film being referenced. Also, Leia is played by Jack Black.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween is the sequel to the film Goosebumps, released in theaters in the United States on October 12, 2018 by Columbia Pictures

In research for reading this story, in which characters dress up as and become werewolves, I attended Furfest, the state’s biggest anthropomorphic animal convention. I’m pleased to see that my negative preconceptions of the “furry” community were largely dispelled, and I have since been doodling sketches of my own “fursona” (which is essentially just me but endowed certain horse appendages).

Werewolf Skin is the sixtieth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was published in 1997.

RL Stine was writing about haunted schools in 1997, but I know a school that would really scare today’s woke millennials; it’s called the SCHOOL OF LIFE, and before you ask, sorry snowflakes, you don’t get a participation award for attending.

Please note: ‘The School of Life’ is no way an accredited learning institute and should instead be considered only a rhetorical expression used to suggest that bigotry and ignorance are somehow grounded in common sense.

The Haunted School is the fifty-ninth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.

Deep Trouble II! Did the first Deep Trouble really warrant a sequel? Perhaps not, but neither did G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009) or The Croods (2013) but that didn’t stop those Hollywood fat-cats from greenlighting sequels several years after the originals. Deep Trouble II is a lot like it’s fellow aquatic-sequel Jaws 2 (1978) in that it features giant sea creatures and magic plankton that turns you into a fish (note: I have not seen Jaws 2).

Deep Trouble II is the fifty-eighth book in the original Goosebumps book series, and the second book in the Deep Trouble saga. It was first published in 1997.

Now admittedly, this is a personal favorite story of mind because for a long time I was convinced I too had an invisible friend! Sticky Jim, I called him. Oh the adventures we had; the things he told me to do; the ideas he would put into my head. Those horrible, terrible ideas.

My Best Friend Is Invisible is the fifty-seventh book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.

Okay, let’s not pretend we haven’t all considered staging a fake drowning to gain sympathy. I myself tried something similar when I was twelve and ran away from a school trip in a nearby forest to upset my parents. It was three days before they noticed I was gone and a week before they notified the authorities. If I wasn’t taken in by that cannabis-growing hermit living on a creek to avoid taxes I would have surely perished (not that Mum and Dad would have cared).

The Curse of Camp Cold Lake is the fifty-sixth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997. It was included in The Campfire Collection in 2003 and received a standalone reprint in 2005.

A typewriter that makes the stories come alive? Send it my way; I’ve got an idea for a novel about a sensitive but roguishly-handsome podcast host that has to battle lusty female demons with big honking naturals.

The Blob That Ate Everyone is the fifty-fifth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.

The title offers a singular piece of advice, but an unwarranted one. I need not be told to avoid the lure sleep that stalks me like a shadow; the juvenile vaudeville that awaits the reader in the pages of this garish book for children pales in comparison to the mind-twisting dread that awaits me whenever I close my eyes; when I enter the darkness where the empty faces of the poor souls I have wronged scream so deafeningly in their silence, so that to wake up in a cold sweat, choking is a freezing fright is only a temporary respite—a relief itself clouded by the knowledge that when evening comes again, as it always does, and my eyelids grow heavy, as they always do, this ritualist torture of my very being must invariably resume until I wake no longer.

Also, I’ve been working some pretty long shifts at Blockbuster this month so I need to get an early night.

Don't Go to Sleep! is the fifty-fourth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.

“Nobody calls me chicken.” That’s a recurring line from iconic sci-fi/comedy trilogy Back to the Future. Apparently, only the first installment was critically well-received, but I always enjoyed Part II just as much. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized that Biff Tannen’s appearance and character in that film were based-heavily on then-real estate mogul Donald J Trump. Pretty wild that a decent chunk of Americans that grew up watching that film decided; “Yes; let’s give that literal movie-villain the nuclear codes.” Anyway, this book is about a magic chicken or something.

The dream of flying has haunted man since first he gazed upon a seagull and said “hey; cool.” In RL Stine’s How I Learned to Fly, this ancient dream is realized by a young man whose talents are subsequently used to promote the openings of restaurants around town. Seems like a waste of potential, but what do I know? I’m still stuck on terra firma (for now).

How I Learned to Fly is the fifty-second book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.