Gattsy on Goosebumps

“Do you want to build a snowman?”
So sang one of the animated characters from Disney’s hit music-film ‘Frozen’, which I had the pleasure of seeing with my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend now. It seems treating a lady to a feature film (and purchasing a small popcorn for her) isn’t enough to keep her from deciding she wants space. Of course, what she won’t say is that ‘space’ is the kitchen counter of her sharehouse with her roommate Duncan who turns out wasn’t gay after all. Forget snowmen; she had the coldest heart of all (I don’t care though and I never even think about her anymore).

Beware, the Snowman is the fifty-first book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1997.

This deals with bullying, a theme very close to my heart. I have been involved in several instances of bullying throughout my lifetime, both as a victim and much more recently as a perpetrator (I’m legally not allowed to discuss it but let me just assure you the little rat had it coming).

Calling All Creeps! is the fiftieth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

Do you remember that post-Twilight period where all young adult entertainment was vampire-based? You’d come to school and the girls would be cooing about some pasty fictional heartthrob who lusted for blood but and was still somehow non-threatening enough to be desired. Then it would be up to me, the only intellectual in the room, to explain how, historically, the blood-sucking vampire trope was typically used as a means to represent society’s fear of the foreigner and how they may corrupt it while still appearing respectable, with the seduction of innocent women thus having both a literal and metaphorical purpose. And then I would be told to “shut up” and “go back to my own table." Anyway, the point is, I hate my life.

Vampire Breath is the forty-ninth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

The grinning jack-o-lantern is a staple of the spooky season, though as a boy I was prevented from ever carving one, owing to my father’s contempt for Halloween and all things he deemed American. One year, in defiance, I carved a face into a particularly large sweet potato and left it beside the welcome mat, which enraged my father to no end when he arrived home from work. In his fury, he went to put his foot through the vegetable he presumed was taunting him with considerable prejudice, but as I had actually carved it a week earlier and hit it under my bed until the required evening, he found the usually-firm flesh of the sweet potato give way with hardly any force, causing the power of his step to send him falling completely off balance and throw out a disc in his back. It was the last time I ever attempted to carve a jack-o-lantern, sweet potato or otherwise, but some part of me still believes my vegetable friend injured Dad on purpose. I’m glad he did.

Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns is the forty-eighth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

In today's story, RL Stine combines the macabre world of European folklore with the psychological fear of the unknown, presented with elements of semi-steampunk aesthetic. The result is just terrible.

Legend of the Lost Legend is the forty-seventh book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

When we were younger, we thought that monsters were big hairy creatures with claws and sharp teeth. Now, of course, we know that the real monsters in the world are things like poverty, racism and environmental destruction. This book deals with the hairy kind though.

How to Kill a Monster is the forty-sixth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

We don't really have summer camps in Australia, but we do have school camps. I'll always remember the time all of us students hoisted up Mr Thinglestip in the giant swing, pulling him higher and higher despite his frantic warnings of a "crippling fear of heights" and "severe heart conditions". We all had quite a laugh--well, all of us except Mr Thinglestip, of course! Still, I remember that the memorial service the week after was a touching affair.

Today’s spooky episode is primarily about photography, I hobby I eagerly indulged in until I was forced to appear before a magistrate in 2017.

Say Cheese and Die — Again! is the forty-fourth book in the original Goosebumps book series, a sequel to Say Cheese and Die!, and the second book in the Say Cheese and Die! saga. It was first published in 1996.

For those looking for a Goosebumps book about the adventures of 90’s wrestling icon Bam Bam Bigelow, nicknamed the Beast from the East, I’m afraid your search continues.

The Beast from the East is the forty-third book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.

Today’s episode is focused on young Tim Swanson, who aspires to be a magician. I myself have no time for the mystic arts ever since I was approached by a gypsy man in Rome who claimed to be a street magician but failed to make my wallet and passport reappear. Food was overpriced as well. Wouldn’t go back.

Bad Hare Day is the forty-first book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996.