Sun is visited be three spirits. Jack has all the answers. Hurley feeds his dog. Jin drinks the water. Michael plays marco polo. Kate solves everything. Locke is a douche again. Libby makes an appearance. Ana Lucia suuuuuuuuuuuucks.

In a movie we didn't really notice, mutants are nearly extinct. an elderly and weary and over dramatic Logan leads a quiet yet somehow violent life, But when Laura, a screeching mutant nightmare is pursued by the pieces of shit that experimented on children comes to him for help, he must literally die to get her to safety.

Kate practices hygiene. Charlie's a brat. Sun buries the evidence. Sawyer likes water sports. Bernard ties the season together. Hurley collects a W2. Locke spills the beans. Ana Lucia suuuuuuuucks.

happy Easter.

potty mouthed mutant mercenary and runner up in the gabagool lookalike contest, Wade Wilson assembles a team of fellow mutant rogues for about 5 minutes to protect a prepubescent New Zealand psychopath from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg stepson of Barbara Streisand.

Locke cries for 20 minutes. Hurley's hopes are immediately crushed. Kate skips a shower. Sawyer gets beat up by a girl. Jin bows with misplaced respect. Sayid works his magic. Helen doesn't handle it well. Desmond flees the scene of the crime. Jack overreacts. Ana Lucia sucks.

in an effort to combat four types what i can only assume is stage 4 everything, a wisecracking mercenary submits himself to shady experiments conducted in an abandoned Costco becomes immortal yet kwispy and kweamy at the same time, and sets out to track down the dish soap who ruined his pretty boy face.

Desmond does standup. Kate fucks a chocolate bar. Jack is in episode 1. Michael is John Wick. Sawyer knows pain. Charlie and Claire show up. the Virgin Mary smuggles drugs. Locke stands firm. none of this happens in Japan.

after avenging a non-Japanese bear who probably shits in the woods, Wolverine is willingly kidnapped by a Japanese punk-rocker and taken to Japan to meet a dying Japanese guy whose life he saved years ago in Japan. upon arriving in Japan he gets embroiled in a Japanese conspiracy involving yakuza and mutants and kimonos and Japanese sex hotels and extreme high diving in Japan. in Japan, Famke Jannsen's titties almost guest star in nightmares in Japan.

Vincent's a bad boy. Locke gets kidnapped. Shannon hallucinates. Kate's in the second episode. Walt's on the island but also not. Hurley's not* crazy. Jack remembers. Desmond's put on a few. no one on the raft was ever heard from again...

The early years of Jimmy Logan, featuring his rivalry with his brother Cotton Weary, more mutants than necessary for a solo film, the absolute worst iteration of Deadpool, adamantium boners and some fun with mouths.