Geek Accident

IT'S THE SEASON 1 FINALE, SUCKAHFISH!! Claire is a Jonas brother. Sayid sets Charlie on fire. Arzt goes boom. Kate wins fair and square. Shannon adopts and doesn't shop. Sawyer reads a diary. Sun is hooked on phonics. Rousseau steals an infant. Aaron gets a name. Locke wants to be eaten. Jack hates Destiny's Child. Scott is Steve. Steve is Scott.

Kate doesn't listen to Bruce Springsteen. Tom makes a bad decision. Sawyer exposes. Shannon's not there. Charlie acts tough. Claire holds the baby. the hatch gets popular. Walt is weird. Jack doesn't understand the idea of worst case scenario. Sun hires Kate to poison Jin who's also Michael.

Two burn out childhood friends are anti-dockers and also pro-athletes of a national sport called BASEketball, a hybrid of baseball and basketball and extreme laziness, and they must deal with a greedy businessman scheming against their team and the whole league, because of course it's that easy to do, cock, beer?

Jack brawls at a funeral. Sawyer does asmr. Shannon goes on a rampage. Hurley feels good. Kate roofies a man. Locke fibs some more. Michael knows korean. Claire is fussy. Sayid has a fireside chat. Kurt Cobain guest stars.

An incredibly shitty minor-league baseball team bursting with diverse personalities who have to dig deep and realize their talent was there along gets a new manager: a guy who's just trying to make the leap back home.

in a plot that's strikingly similar to the first movie, The Cleveland Indians are now a World Series contender, even though we all know they won the series in the last movie. but last year's spite is now replaced with another actor that's not Denzel, and bad decisions by the team's new owner (but still giant douche) Roger Dorn threaten to tear the team apart until they dig deep...realize their talent was there all along...and they win the whole fucken thing. all in the name of Lou - the most excellent motivator.

Boone kills his maid. Locke gets hoodwinked. Kate makes a doctor apointment. Sayid is an optometrist. the Tailies exist. Michael & Jin bond. Desmond is there. no one else does anything.

in a plot that's strikingly similar to Ted Lasso, the bitchy new owner of the Cleveland Indians (i don't think you can say that anymore) puts together a quirky, rag tag team of misfits so they'llfuck it all up and she can relocate for more money, as major league teams have no qualms doing. but when all is revealed, they dig deep...realize that their talent was there all along...and they win the whole fucken thing. all in the name of spite - the most excellent motivator.

Charlie makes a fat joke. Rousseau believes in curses. Claire's apparently pregnant and single. Shannon worries. Jack & Sayid blow up. Hurley hurts his mom. Leonard freaks out. Kate is speechless. Chris "The Glove" Taylor goes fucken hard.

Jin doesn't understand the assignment. Shannon gains autonomy. Locke accidentally isn't a douche. Sun drops the bomb. Sayid makes out. Sawyer throws hands. everyone points fingers. Walt avoids prison. Sun also rocks a bikini.