Geek Accident

On the cusp of New Year's Eve, but it still feels like every other day, seven friends and a mysterious stunt-performer-turned-actor converge at a desolate ski lodge in the mountains when they are randomly hunted down by ruthless masked men and a sexy, masked woman who got lost on her way to a rave, all of whom have a cryptic, ill explained agenda.

Sawyer pisses off PETA. Locke tells a bullshit story. Christian can't pour shots. Frank's last words are haunting. Claire remembers. Kate kung fu fights. Jack chops wood. the Sox win the series.

Two neighbors drastically age their wives and and take it too far when the short one decorates his house for the holidays so brightly that it can be seen from space, and the miserable one hates filming the movie. it ends when everyone forgets how many laws were broken and come together to light up the house. Kal Pennhas an awful British accent for some fucking reason.

Davey Stone, a rather hilarious alcoholic who wakes up and chooses violence, gets off easy and sentenced to community service under the supervision of a hairy, old midget whose balls haven't dropped. Davey is then reform and abandon his bad habits after a whole bunch of deer shit in the woods.

Charlie photocopies vomit. Lucy is not a moose. Boone can't do fucken shit right. Jin gates "david & goliath'd". Claire doesn't know shit. Shannon tells it like it is. Hurley tries a eulogy. Jack hands out guns like candy. Sayid picks a bad hiding spot. Sawyer doesn't know what's going on. Ethan is swiss cheese.

Michael's an awful dad. Susan's an even worse mother. Charlie's creepin'. Shannon wants to help. Boone gives ground hugs. Locke admittedly has a point. Sayid can't read maps. Hurley shows up for a second. Brian gives away Vincent. the raft gets started. the Black Rock is mentioned. the polar bears return. so does Claire.

On Christmas Eve, three lifelong friends spend the night in New York City looking for the Holy Grail of Christmas parties but get, like SUPER distracted along the way, so what should have taken them 30 minutes took several hours, and hijinx didn't really ensue because it all could have easily been avoided. dumbasses.

after an unruly mob of Black Friday shoppers riot in the name of waffle irons, tragedy unfolds and a total milf gets scalped. a year later, a mysterious Thanksgiving-inspired killer in a silly little outfit terrorizes Plymouth, Massachusetts - the birthplace of the (apparently) infamous holiday.

it's that time again. but this time i encourage the rant. i guess you could say i live vicariously through Rebecca at times, seeing as how i never leave the state. so yeah...this one's on me. and i didn't even pay attention the whole time.

Upon his return to his father's estate, aristocrat/peeping tom/walking red flag Larry Talbot meets a beautiful woman with probably huge knockers, buys a stick for $322, attends a mystical carnival in the poo poo wetlands, and uncovers a horrifying, possibly somewhat autistic curse.