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Title: A Local Man Is Coasting Through Life Entirely Without Self-Propulsion

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 05-22-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Friends say the man may have propelled himself in his early 20s.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 The Onion

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Title: A Loophole in a Curse Lets an Archaeologist Off the Hook

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Unabridged

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 05-15-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The angry spirits say they are reviewing all curses so no scientist ever goes unpunished.

©2017 The Onion (P)2017 Audible, Inc

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Title: A New Study Says the Earth Is Located in the Lamest Part of the Universe

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 05-11-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Scientists say the only thing this part of the universe has is crappy magnetic fields.

©2017 The Onion (P)2017 Audible, Inc

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Title: A Kidnapping Is Going Really Smoothly

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 05-10-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The kidnapper says the 7-year-old even shut up after just yelling at him once.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc

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Title: A Congressman Will Try to Live on Just the Military's Budget for One Month

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 05-09-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The senator hopes to shine a light on the problems the defense department has to face.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc

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Title: A Local Man Needs Verbal Assurance That His Hand Stamp Will Get Him Back Into the Festival

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 04-30-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The man was worried the purple dot wouldnt be enough.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 The Onion

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Title: The Drump Signal

Author: Luke Shephard

Narrator: Ted Gitzke

Format: Unabridged

Length: 42 mins

Language: English

Release date: 04-26-17

Publisher: Our Pack Press

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

A group of conspiracy theorists is desperately claiming that they have translated a message from somewhere in the solar system, and that it contains a plea for help from the real Donald Drump. It's up to FBI Agent Mitchell Jeffries to discover the truth.

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Title: The World's Frogs Unveil 5 Million Year Plan to Move up the Food Chain

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 04-21-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Frogs say they ultimately envision themselves on par with hawks and ocelots.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: Scientists Politely Remind the World That Clean Energy Technology Is Ready to Go Whenever

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 04-17-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Critics worry that the world will simply miss their smokestacks too much.

©2017 The Onion (P)2017 Audible, Inc

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Title: A Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Is Too Good for This World

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 04-12-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Sources say, the cinnamon roll was purchased along with a medium cup of coffee.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 The Onion