I developed a tool called The Famous Five (named by a client!) which is loosely based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The Famous Five is so important because at the core this is a tool to assist in regulating the nervous system and cultivating trust with your body. The Famous Five covers: Eating when you are hungry, resting when you are tired, drinking water when you are thirsty, moving every day, and using the bathroom when you notice (no more waiting as long as you can!)

This is the number one tool I recommend to clients to learn how to get back into their body, build trust with themselves, and regulate their nervous system. You can find a free downloadable PDF in my bio on my Instagram @sherah.janell

Currently, I offer a $99 single session (a $45 discount!) in which we focus in how this integration can change your life. You can sign up for sessions at sherahjanell.com

bahahhahah ok you asked for it!! This is my graduate homework assignment for this week. 

Here are my notes!! Would love to know your questions~ 

“When Sexual Needs and Expectations Among Partners Differ.” For this assignment, you are a special guest on a podcast channel titled “Getting the Most Out of Your Relationship.”

The four couple sexual styles (in order of frequency) are as follows:

1. Complementary—“mine and ours”

2. Traditional—“conflict minimizing”

3. Best friend—“soul mate”

4. Emotionally expressive—“fun and erotic” (McCarthy & Ross, 2019)

The relational style acts as the most important variable in creating a respectful, trusting, emotional commitment, while the couple sexual style involves the balance of sexual autonomy while being an intimate sexual team who integrate intimacy and eroticism into their relationship. (McCarthy & Ross, 2019)

McCarthy, B., & Ross, L. W. (2019) Relational style and couple sexual style: Similar or different. The Family Journal, 27(3), 245-249.

The four primary couple sexual styles by order of frequency are: (a) complementary (i.e., “mine and ours”), (b) traditional (i.e., conflict minimizing), (c) best friend (i.e., soul mate), and (d) emotionally expressive (i.e., fun and erotic). (McCarthy & Ross, 2018)

Sexuality is an interpersonal process of sharing desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction, not an individual sex performance. Although couple sexuality can have a number of roles, meanings, and outcomes, the ultimate focus is reinforcing the intimate bond. (McCarthy & Ross, 2018)

McCarthy B., & Ross L. W. (2018). Maintaining sexual desire and satisfaction in securely bonded couples. The Family Journal, 26(2), 217-222.

2 BDSM

BDSM is the conscious use of “psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth” (Wiseman, 1996),

Wiseman, J. (1996). SM 101: A realistic introduction [e-book version]. San Francisco, CA: Greenery Press. Retrieved from https://books.google.ca/books/about/SM_101. html?id=qRCrzBqMSX0C&redir_esc=y

BDSM behaviours are not new phenomena—they are described in the classic text, the Kama Sutra (Castleman, 2012)

Castleman, M. (2012). A loving introduction to BDSM. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https:// www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201206/loving-introduction-bdsm

2 BDSM

A genuine and unbiased therapist would be able to assist new and experienced individual members of the BDSM community and those members involved in D/S relationships. (Hillier, 2018)

The BDSM culture contains numerous subcultures and unique relationships. (Hillier, 2018)

Hillier, K. M. (2018). Counselling diverse groups: Addressing counsellor bias toward the BDSM and D/S subculture. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 52(1), 65.

1 Asexual

Asexuality is broadly defined as a lack of sexual attraction to anyone or a disinterest of being sexual with others

Diamond’s biobehavioral model of love and sexual desire posits that sexual desire and romantic love are functionally and developmentally independent, where sexual attraction is governed by reproduction and romantic attraction is governed by attachment and pair bonding. (Diamond, 2003)

Diamond, L. M. (2003). What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire. Psychological Review,110, 173–192.

CW and TW: child abuse and sexual assault

Wow! We are at the end of the docuseries on Hulu called The Deep End. Melanie Huggard and I breakdown the final episode and there is so much to cover. This episode we cover autonomy, gaslighting, choice, and safety. 

CW/TW: sexual assault, child abuse. 

Today Melanie and I are covering Episode 3 of the docuseries The Deep End hosted on Hulu. So many things come to light and Melanie and I are here to break it down for you! Even if you aren't watching the series with us, these episodes are packed full of content to help you begin to recognize healing cycles or hurting cycles. This episode covers channeling, the problem with assumption, gaslighting, and boundaries. 

In this episode, we are breaking down Episode 2 of The Deep End on Hulu. Trigger and content warnings are discussed. For this round Sherah made notes and Melanie did not. So we went off of the outline my notes created. Power dynamics, necromancy, boundaries, and the function of community are discussed.  

If you are following this podcast as well as watching the series on Hulu, next week is going to get interesting! 

Check out Sherah on sherahjanell.com and find her on insta @sherah.janell

Check out Melanie on melaniehuggard.com and follow her book-writing journey on insta @momdaughterconnection

Join me and Melanie Huggard as we watch the Teal Swan Documentary, The Deep End on Hulu. Melanie and I watch each episode and then give commentary on things we notice as coaches. Watch the Documentary Episode before you listen to form your own opinion or listen to the podcast episodes before you watch to be able to notice the things we are pointing out. Did you enjoy this episode? Leave a review!

There has been a new documentary on Hulu about Teal Swan. My friend Melanie Huggard and I are watching it together and sharing some of the things we notice. This episode covers a little bit of how we want to approach it and the things we are aware of commenting on t a documentary. 

If you are new here I grew up in Purity Culture and Courtship Culture and dating was scary as all get out. This episode talks a little bit about lowering the stakes in dating so that no matter the outcome you are always successful. If you find that dating is overwhelming, that's ok. You can set yourself up for success by rewriting some of the "rules" of dating. 

Maslows Hierarchy is my favorite Theory in Psychology. The coaching method I created is based loosely on this theory and I want to take a minute and break it down for you! Imagine a pyramid of building blocks the base being the most important to be able to get to the top. These are how our needs in life work and we cannot move from one thing to the next until that building block is established. I hope this brief look at Maslow's Hierarchy gets you a little excited about the possiblities. 

Do you struggle with setting, keeping, or maintaining boundaries?? This episode is for you! Today we cover what makes advocating for ourselves so difficult. Boundaries are super helpful and keep us out of abusive, toxic, codependent, narcissistic relationships. When you begin to agree with your value and worth you choose people who also agree with your value and worth!

If you would like to learn more about boundary work my 4 session packages are on sale for all of May!! Use code MAYLOVE to receive a $95 discount and let's get started!