Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness

This week we’re joined by political commentator and Gen Z Icon, Matt Bernstein - the creator behind @MattXIV and A Bit Fruity Podcast. Together, Matt and JVN discuss the very real Gen Z red wave, finding your peace amidst online political discourse, make-up (yes, darling!), and much much more - plus, we find out just how many Millennial references Matt can pick up on.

Matt Bernstein unpacks the events, people, and culture wars shaping the world around us.. On his podcast, On A Bit Fruity, he takes deeper dives into those issues — joined by celebrities, experts, and journalists who help us laugh and learn along the way. Episodes of A Bit Fruity Podcast drop bi-weekly wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube.

Full Getting Better Video Episodes now available on YouTube.

Not A Phase.

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Matt Bernstein is on Instagram @MattXIV

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on The Monday Edit, we have a very special guest joining in on the Monday fun: best selling author Anna Malaika Tubbs stopped by to tell us all about her new book, Erased: What American Patriarchy Has Hidden from Us and helps us hone in on real time examples of our Patriarchy is being weaponized today. Anna unpacks how the United States has constructed a unique—and often invisible—gendered hierarchy, one that is inextricably linked to whiteness and a deeply flawed binary system. From the founding fathers to the current Supreme Court, from the erasure of women in the Constitution to the ongoing fight for the Equal Rights Amendment, Dr. Tubbs reveals the mechanisms that have kept women’s contributions hidden and their voices suppressed.

Anna Malaika Tubbs is a scholar, advocate, and bestselling author (The Three Mothers: How the Mothers of Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and James Baldwin Shaped a Nation) whose work brings a fresh, urgent perspective on American history and its gendered systems. With a Ph.D. in Sociology and a Masters in Multidisciplinary Gender Studies from the University of Cambridge and a Bachelors in Medical Anthropology from Stanford University, Anna translates her academic knowledge into clear and engaging stories. Her articles have been published by TIME Magazine, New York Magazine, CNN, Motherly, The Huffington Post, For Harriet, The Guardian, Darling Magazine, and Blavity. Anna’s storytelling also takes form in her talks, including her TED Talk that has been viewed 2 million times, as well as the scripted and unscripted screen projects she has in development. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, former Mayor of Stockton, CA Michael Tubbs  and their three young children.

Not A Phase.

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Follow Anna Malaika Tubbs @annamalaikatubbs

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn and senior producer Chris @amomentlikechris

New video episodes Getting Better on YouTube every Wednesday.

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Matt Rogers, comedian, actor, writer, host, half of the duo behind Las Culturistas and multi hyphenate extraordinaire is on Getting Better this week to enter our queer millennial world on all things pop culture, pride heroes, lgbtqia+, Celine Dion, Tony Awards, Ariana Grande, Epic Universe and of course... JK Rowling. He tells us his and Bowen Yang’s origin story, how Las Culturistas came to be, what's next for him, and of course - Tony predictions!

Matt Rogers is an actor, comedian, writer, podcaster and television host. Named one of Variety's Comics To Watch in 2021, he is co-host of the popular podcast “Las Culturistas” alongside SNL's Bowen Yang, which was named Time Out New York’s #1 Comedy Podcast and Time Magazine’s “50 Best Podcasts to Listen to Right Now”. Matt can be seen in SEARCH PARTY, SHRILL, AWKWAFINA IS NORA FROM QUEENS, OUR CARTOON PRESIDENT, the animated Netflix series Q-FORCE, and as the host of the HBO Max competition series HAUTE DOG. Matt has written for comedies such as THE OTHER TWO and Q-FORCE and co-created the short form reality series GAYME SHOW to critical acclaim. He most recently can be seen in Searchlight’s FIRE ISLAND and as a series regular in Showtime’s I LOVE THAT FOR YOU. Matt’s special HAVE YOU HEARD OF CHRISTMAS recently premiered on Showtime and has received wide acclaim, including being named by Variety as one of The Best Comedy Specials of 2022, and New York Times best comedy of 2022.

Full Video Episodes now available on YouTube.

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Matt Rogers is on Instagram @mattrogerstho

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on The Monday Edit: the Dry and Salty Environment of Salt Lake City, Supreme Court revoking the safe haven program, Elon’s drug dealer, the West Village Crypto Kidnapping, conspiracy theories, and propaganda we are not falling for!

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn and senior producer Chris @amomentlikechris

New video episodes Getting Better on YouTube every Wednesday.

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

#1 New York Times Best Selling Author Julie Murphy stops by to talk with JVN about the recent attacks on local libraries, investing in independent bookstores, why exposure to Queer voices is paramount for young readers - plus! The two go all in on their new YA book Let Them Stare.

Julie Murphy is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of books for all ages including Dumplin’ (now a film on Netflix and one of TIME Magazine's 100 Best YA Books of All Time), Dear Sweet Pea, and If the Shoe Fits. She is also the co-author of the Christmas Notch series with Sierra Simone.

Julie has been featured by Good Morning America, Teen Vogue, The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and more. When she’s not writing or reliving her reference desk glory days, she can be found watching made-for-TV movies, hunting for the perfect slice of cheese pizza, and planning her next great travel adventure.

Julie is also the founder of Bittersweet Books, a story production and intellectual property company. To learn more about Bittersweet, visit bittersweet-books.com.

Full Video Episodes now available on YouTube.

Julie Murphy is on Instagram @andimjulie

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

TTake the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Visit https://www.ollie.com/better today for 60% off your first box of meals! #ToKnowThemIsToLoveThem

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on The Monday Edit: The Let Them Stare drop, Karen Read Retrial, The Supreme Court Deadlock, eating around friends, and independent bookstores.

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn and senior producer Chris @amomentlikechris

New video episodes Getting Better on YouTube every Wednesday.

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Revenge, why do we want to get revenge so bad? And where does that urge come from? And how do we go from wanting to get revenge to being able to forgive someone or others? James Kimmel Jr., Yale lecturer and co-founder of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Studies, is on Getting Better this week to teach us just that. James gives us insight into the psychology of these complex emotions, the parts of the brain affected, and what research, studies and science shows us about forgiveness.

James Kimmel, Jr., JD, is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies, and a researcher, lawyer, and novelist who focuses on neuroscience, psychology, revenge, addiction, forgiveness, and violence. A breakthrough scholar and expert on revenge and forgiveness, he first identified compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction and first developed the behavioral addiction model of revenge and the brain disease model of revenge addiction as public health approaches for preventing and treating violence. More can be found on his personal website, www.jameskimmeljr.com.

Full Video Episodes now available on YouTube.

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on The Monday Edit: Astrological events this week, drone sightings, Birthright Citizenship, Trump’s Qatari 747. Swifties Clowning about the 2025 AMAs, and friendship trauma.

Donate:

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn and senior producer Chris @amomentlikechris

New video episodes Getting Better on YouTube every Wednesday.

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s expert is Aliza Kelly, a renowned celebrity astrologer, author, columnist, and host of the podcast, “Horoscope Weekly.” JVN and Aliza go all in on Jonathan’s chart, and how astrology can truly be a self-care practice. Together, they’re diving into the profound ways engaging with astrology can become a meaningful and empowering form of self-care, providing tools for self-understanding, navigating challenges, and aligning with one's inherent strengths.

Aliza Kelly is a renowned celebrity astrologer, author, columnist, and host of the podcast, “Horoscope Weekly.” She writes a column in New York Magazine's The Cut, maintains a robust online community, and is the author of 5 books, including her latest title, It’s All Magic: 365 Reflections on Astrology, Tarot, and Manifestation. Aliza has been featured in numerous publications including The New York Times, and is a regular guest on The Drew Barrymore Show. Learn more at alizakelly.com.

Full Video Episodes now available on YouTube.

You can follow Aliza Kelly on Instagram @alizakelly.

Not A Phase.

Trans Lifeline

Follow us on Instagram @gettingbetterwithjvn Jonathan on Instagram @jvn

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Vanessa Van Edwards: Stop Overthinking Every Social Interaction! (Use THESE Cues to Be Liked, Respected, and Build Confidence in Every Conversation) from On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

Follow the show: On Purpose with Jay Shetty

What usually holds you back from starting a conversation?

Can you remember a time you avoided someone out of fear of saying the wrong thing?

Jay sits down with behavioral researcher and bestselling author Vanessa Van Edwards for a powerful conversation that blends science, honesty, and so many surprising moments. Vanessa, who refers to herself as a “recovering awkward person,” shares how her biggest social struggles became the driving force behind her mission to crack the code on human connection.

Together, Jay and Vanessa dive into the fascinating world of charisma, exploring the 97 cues, from eye contact to tone of voice, that quietly shape how we’re seen and understood. Vanessa breaks down why so many of us feel overlooked or underestimated—and introduces “signal amplification bias,” a concept that explains why the signals you think you’re sending might not be landing the way you expect. Vanessa shows us how confidence isn’t always something you’re born with but something you can build, with intention and awareness.

The conversation goes even deeper as they unpack the tricky balance between warmth and competence, especially for women in the workplace, and how vulnerability isn’t a weakness, but often your greatest strength. They explore how to create those magic “me too” moments that form instant connections, spot the hidden red flags in communication, and let go of the need to be liked by everyone in order to be truly seen by the right people.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Make a Great First Impression Without Saying a Word

How to Break the Ice with a Simple “Hey”

How to Balance Warmth and Competence in Any Conversation

How to Create Connection Using “Me Too” Moments

How to Exit a Conversation Gracefully (Without Offending Anyone)

How to Spot a Liar Using Body Language and Micro-Expressions

How to Ask Better Questions That Spark Real Conversations

How to Recognize the Difference Between Charisma and Manipulation

Whether you struggle with social anxiety, want to level up your leadership presence, or are just tired of surface-level small talk, this episode is packed with practical tools and uplifting wisdom to help you connect with more authenticity and power.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.  

Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there!  

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:51 From Awkward to Empowered: Overcoming Social Anxiety

02:43 How Do You Really Want People to See You?

06:44 Why Aren’t Your First Impressions Landing?

10:01 Why They’re Not Getting Your Signals (And What to Do About It)

13:33 Want to Be More Attractive? Try Being More Available

15:40 One Simple “Hey” That Can Spark a New Connection

19:16 Your Vibe Teaches People How to Treat You

22:06 Speak with Power: Unlock Your Full Vocal Power

23:47 3 Conversation Starters That Actually Work

29:49 Making Friends Doesn’t Have to Be Hard

31:17 Why Compliments Alone Don’t Build Connection

33:30 Break the Ice Without Sounding Like Everyone Else

38:36 Stop Trying to Be Interesting, Do This Instead

40:48 The Art of a Smooth and Respectful Exit

44:32 Use These Nonverbal Cues to Steer the Conversation

47:41 Spot Inauthentic Behavior Before It Costs You

54:28 Why People-Pleasing Feels Safer But Actually Holds You Back

57:48 How to Tell If Someone’s Lying (Without Saying a Word)

01:00:04 When Narcissists Feel Like the Most Charismatic People

01:03:46 Want to Really Get to Know Someone? Take a Road Trip

01:04:45 How Dopamine Makes You More Memorable

01:08:23 Every Answer Can Be a Gateway to Connection

01:10:51 How Asking Better Questions Inspires Growth

01:13:10 Discover Your Social Battery: Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert?

01:15:10 You Might Be an Ambivert and That’s a Superpower

01:19:07 The Two Ways Friendships Evolve Over Time

01:22:30 Choose Friends Who Inspire Awe

01:25:20 The Double Standard Faced by Highly Competent Women

01:33:09 Before You Make That Connection, Ask Yourself This 

01:34:34 Life’s Too Short for Shallow Connections, Find Your People

01:36:29 Vanessa on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Vanessa Van Edwards | Website

Vanessa Van Edwards | Instagram

Vanessa Van Edwards | X

Vanessa Van Edwards | YouTube

Vanessa Van Edwards | TikTok

Vanessa Van Edwards | Facebook

Vanessa Van Edwards | LinkedIn

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].