Getting Old Quickly

In Episode 20, Billy Donnelly addresses the need for self-care. He explains why it's so important and the benefits you'll find in practicing it. He lays out the difficulties you may run into some times in trying to make this common practice in yourself - both self-inflicted and from the resistance of others. However, he stresses the reasons for you being able to have time and space for yourself - your feelings, your emotions, your ability to escape and decompress, etc. - and the difficulties he had along the way in arriving at that place. 

In Episode 19, Billy Donnelly discusses the very real idea that silence is complicity. After being challenged about speaking up about his prior work environment in a previous episode, he started thinking about why others would rather silence themselves and not get involved, even if that means improvement to their situations or greater change beyond that. As a result, he talks this week about standing up and finding your voice to defend what you know is right against what you see that is bad and/or wrong, both on a macro and a micro level. He believes that you shouldn't be afraid to become active in your communities and in the larger world to alter the status quo, if you don't like it. However, that also means you need to be able to speak up for yourself in your own life - to fix the things you don't like or that you want to change.

In Episode 18, Billy Donnelly details his experience dealing with a narcissist from one of his most recent work environments. He lays out the history of their working relationship, how they eventually became friends (or so he thought) and how she eventually turned on him. He explains how he came to learn more about narcissism and narcissistic behavior in order to better understand stand what had happened to him and, in depth, he discusses three strategies - triangulation, cognitive dissonance & idealization, devaluation and discarding -  that narcissists use in order to exploit others, using his story in order to show how they operate in practice.

In Episode 17, Billy Donnelly talks about his time working at the Alamo Drafthouse, following the release of an investigative report of further toxicity within the company's venue and corporate culture. He discusses a bit about his experience there and some of the ridiculousness he witnessed as staff at one of their theaters. In addition, he hits on the expectations one should have to not work within an environment as such, including proper treatment and respect by co-workers and management, while also touching upon the toll it takes for the institutions and structures you rely on to protect you and take care of you absolutely fail you, creating deeper mistrust and isolation for those facing circumstances of harassment and more. 

In Episode 16, Billy Donnelly discusses others' outward perceptions that everything with you is fine, when, in reality, it is a product of "fake it till you make it." This leads him to examine the various reasons why people portray things as being okay publicly while they struggle with issues of depression, anxiety, etc. internally. He talks about his own dealings with "fake it till you make it" - specifically not wanting to be treated as being different - and the unwanted sympathy and pity that typically comes with revealing vulnerabilities of that type. He looks at the ways in which social media contribute to the problem, allowing for people to portray their lives as perfect when they are anything but, and also encourages people to be more open and honest about their feelings of "being less than," believing it creates more awareness that we're all in some way working to deal with this issues. 

In Episode #15, Billy Donnelly revisits his time in high school - four years of his life that he absolutely hated and was miserable in living through. He details his struggles with fitting in and being accepted by an ecosystem where everyone's ambition is to be cool and/or popular. He talks about his reluctance to just do what everyone else was doing in order to fit in. He discusses his toxic romantic relationship from those years and how it exacerbated his problems during that time, and he reveals his lowest point during it all, which led to a cry for help and a desperate need to escape. 

In Episode #14, Billy Donnelly tackles the idea of gatekeepers - those who determine who is included or not included as a part of a club, social circle, etc. He tells of his own experiences dealing with gatekeepers, and how much it has negatively stuck with him over the years as he tried his damnedest to be a part of various film groups during his writing days and was rejected. He explains why it means so much for people to be embraced and accepted, and when they're not the self-doubt being left out creates. He also relays a recent experience he had listening to the song "Part of Your World" from Disney's THE LITTLE MERMAID, and how much it resonated with him due to his lack of inclusion at the hands of gatekeepers from his past. 

In Episode #12, Billy Donnelly struggles with his own crisis of self-identity, which is a direct result from his natural desire to want to be liked. After putting himself out there so long as this persona he believed made it easier for him to be accepted and embraced by others, he is having a hard time answering the question "Who am I really?" He ponders where one's true self ends and the person we publicly put into the world begins, as he examines his lack of self-confidence in allowing who he believes he is to be enough for others. He discusses our defense mechanisms in being judged and trying to tip the scales in our favor to be liked, but also talks about the damage and long-term ramifications that come from feeling as if you've lost yourself or that no one knows who you actually are. 

In Episode #11, Billy Donnelly examines his need for validation and the problems this addiction of sorts has created in his life over the years. After discovering his Love Language - Words of Affirmation - it seemingly explained so much of his behavior as it relates to what he needs back from his relationships with other people. However, over time, validation becomes like a drug of sorts where what you have is not good enough and you are constantly chasing the high of someone else's approval. Billy looks at recent work situations, in addition to his own relationships at home, to tell the story of how destructive constantly trying to fulfill this need can be and the regrets that come with it.