Getting Old Quickly

In Episode 40, Billy Donnelly talks about the curse of self-awareness and the emotional toll that comes with recognizing and acknowledging your feelings. He discusses the burden that results in traveling down the rabbit hole of your mind for a better understanding of your emotions, experiences, etc. He recognizes the short-term pain that results to find longer-term gains of growth and self-improvement, but he also brings up the "Ignorance is bliss" mentality that one could adapt instead and the negative ramifications that surely come from just pretending everything is always okay. In addition, he offers an update on his colonoscopy and Episode 26 - "The Story of Jerry."

In Episode 39, Billy Donnelly talks about turning 41 years old this week and some of the emotional baggage that comes with never really having had a big deal made out of his birthday. In addition, he talks a little bit about his fear of a coming colonoscopy, namely worries about the procedure itself but also anything that might be found wrong with him as a result. 

In Episode 38, Billy Donnelly attempts to express and process his emotions surrounding the riots and insurrection in Washington, D.C. at the U.S. Capitol. 

In Episode 37, Billy Donnelly discusses his trip home for the holidays to see family, which included an agreed-upon plan to quarantine and have everyone in a good position to gather for Christmas. However, with a potential Covid breach compromising the whole situation, he lays out all the changes that went into effect, in addition to the last-minute scenario that put immense pressure put on him to make a decision with everyone's health in mind. He details all the thoughts that ran through his head while contemplating whether to proceed as planned or change course, plus his struggles with guilt and not wanting to be seen as the bad guy of Christmas by everyone. 

In Episode 36, Billy Donnelly says farewell to the awfulness of 2020 (Good riddance). However, he also looks at all the positive things he can take from the year as we move forward into 2021, while setting proper expectations for what the turn of the new year means and surely what it doesn't. 

In Episode 35, Billy Donnelly responds to his recent viewing of the film IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE by examining James Stewart's character George Bailey in it and the standards for his fictional life that we should aspire to have in our own very real ones. In addition, he talks about why this year's watch of one of his annual holiday traditions hit him a lot harder this time around, detailing the various aspects of George's journey through the movie that resonated with him deeply and brought forth all types of emotions. 

In Episode 34, Billy Donnelly discusses his lack of confidence and how, when stacked with fear of failure and self-imposed pressure, it creates a three-headed monster of struggle for him to try to overcome. He talks about what his lack of confidence is rooted in and why it's so difficult to shake loose from it to get the confidence tide flowing in the other direction. 

In Episode 33, Billy Donnelly looks at the amount of pressure we put upon ourselves and how, for himself, it often feeds off his fear of failure. He talks about unrealistic expectations of perfection we place upon ourselves and discusses a recent situation and the accompanying breakdown that occurred with it afforded him the opportunity to examine how much pressure he had been putting upon himself on his journey of self-improvement. He examines where these emotions come from, but also begins to adapt a more "Progress, not perfection" mindset in measuring strides that are being made. 

In Episode 32, Billy Donnelly starts examining his very own fear of failure. He tries to figure out where it started, going back to his days as a student in a gifted program and not having the tools to handle things not always coming so easily to him. He details a number of situations over the years where he did put himself out there in the hopes of creating opportunity, only to be met by rejection and/or failure. He talks about having to reconcile one's view of "success" and "failure," and essentially redefining those terms for yourself in order to create more reasonable expectations. However, he acknowledges and recognizes the various paths he has not taken in his life, due to the uncertainly and very real possibility of a less than positive outcome waiting for him at the end. In addition, he backtracks just a bit to add one more thing to his gratitude list. 

In Episode 31, Billy Donnelly decides to reflect upon a number of things he's grateful for in an otherwise difficult year. With Thanksgiving upon us, he chooses to give time to the positive rather than dwelling on the negative, showing love to the various parts of his life that have meant a lot as he's struggled and dealt with all emotions of the pandemic. In addition to calling needed attention to those elements outside of himself that have really made a difference in 2020, he also turns inward to list the attributes and qualities of himself that he is grateful for at the moment, while challenging listeners of the show to do the same.